The Human Doctor
by rabastan04
Summary: Basically a behind-the-scenes story of Lost Girl episodes from Lauren's POV - as well as her history before she joined the fae. Don't read if you haven't seen the show or else it won't make sense. :D
1. Childhood Years

Title: The Human Doctor

Disclaimer : I own nothing. Lost Girl is the property of SHOWCASE. Please don't sue me.

Rating: T

Summary: Scenes in the life of our favorite Light Fae human doctor.

A/N: We already know more or less what happened to Bo before the show started, and bit of Kenzi's and Dyson's and Trick's and a little bit of Hale, but Lauren only has Nadia. And I want to know more. So I'm making one myself.

A/N2: I haven't done much research so if you find inconsistencies, please let me know so I can change it. (or learn how to do better)

A/N3: Okay, since watching the episode Masks, this has become AU now.

1

Lauren was only five when she noticed that she was slightly different from the other children in daycare. She had always been a soft spoken child, not given to crying, whining or tantrums. She sat quietly in class, or played calmly with other kids. She's intelligent and noticed the little things normal children her age missed. Lauren noticed that her lunch box was more elaborate than other children (tea sandwiches and brie on crackers, compared to the usual pbj's and chips). She noticed that other kids had no regard for their appearance and their clothing was often dirty by the end of the day. Most of all, Lauren noticed other kids had parents and nannies waiting for them eagerly after daycare. What she got was the driver, on his way to pick up her parents, to drop her home (where the housekeeper was surely waiting with an afternoon snack of cut up fruits).

She'd hear her classmate tell stories of loud and messy family dinners, watching TV or more playing. No one cared for her stories of grown up parties and get-togethers that she was allowed to attend as long as she behaved. At this age she was already reading by herself, but no one cared for her books with so few pictures (except perhaps her teacher who smiled at her a lot and told the other children to behave like her).

It wasn't like she was deprived kid (though this was a word that Lauren won't know until 2nd grade). Her parents cared for her. They praised her crafts, her good grades, her good manners. They were proud of her and often showed her off to their friends. But they were also busy with each other and with their lives that there wasn't much time to spend with her. Her mother made it a point to come home at least 3 times a week to read a bedtime story to her and sometimes her father would stay with them and chime in funny voices (which was her favorite part and most treasured childhood memory). They weren't demonstrative in their affection, so she made do with less hugs and less pats but she never felt un-loved. If her parents were proud of her, Lauren was proud of them. She told anyone who asked that her father owned a bank and her mother owned a charity (another word that she won't know the meaning of 'til later).

So Lauren was slightly different from the other children. It was something curious for her to notice, but she didn't care to change it. After all, she was perfectly okay with what she had. (She was allergic to peanut butter anyway.)

2

In high school, Lauren was still mostly the loner from her childhood. Although actually, loner was not what she would describe herself. She had acquaintances, friends. She could talk to anyone easily and most people liked her back. But she had no close friends (no one dared to call her their BFF) and she still preferred her own company from others. She could have been part of a clique if she chose. She was beautiful and striking enough that she could have been part of the popular crowd but Lauren was unashamedly a nerd who loved math and science of all her classes. On the flip side, she could've been part of the nerd crowd but the same trait that would've made her popular prevented it. She was too beautiful, too graceful and charming to be amongst the nerd crowd (a swan that was never an ugly duckling). Despite her unassuming air and welcoming smile, her natural aloofness and seeming unflappability intimidated them. (It intimidated most of the school, even the teachers. After all, it was only a public school not a refined finishing academy) So Lauren was alone but not lonely. She was beginning to discover her love for math and science (the latter in particular) and had no time for the usual silly high school drama.

3

After spending most of her life living with the nickname Ice Princess, college almost turned out to be a cliché. Away from her parents and all that she knew for the first time, Lauren became a different girl. She was like a greedy kid discovering the taste of candy for the first time and stuffing herself to sugar frenzy. The physical distance between her past and her now future served to drastically lower her inhibitions and worries. For the first time in her life, Lauren was accountable only to Lauren. There were no parents to please (at least until end of semester when the grades get out) or family friends to impress (again with the grades). No one here knew her as an ice princess and she could essentially re-create herself.

It wasn't to say that she was tired of her old self or that she didn't like what she was, and how she appeared to other people. It was mostly that she had a chance now to do something different, try something new and be someone else for a while. Even without a degree, she was already a scientist and she was more curious than most. She had stopped herself before from experimenting with her peers to respect her parents (and because she hadn't really felt the lack of it in her life). Now, they were too far away and ignorance was bliss.

Lauren started small. Parties and drinks. She'd been to countless parties before of course, held by her parents or their friends. She was familiar with formal dresses and small talk with wine and champagne. But she had never really been to a "par-tay" before, drunk cheap beer in paper cups and tossed liquor shots like they were water: all the classic "party scenes" populating the media today.

The first party was the hardest (first massive hangover, first puke stained clothing, first skipped class the next day). Gradually she began to get better. She discovered a talent for mixing cocktails (it's just basic chemistry) and a liking for tequila. She built up her alcohol tolerance and tolerance for strange people dancing near her. She acquired more "friends" she ever had in her life and went out to "hang" in various lounges/bars/clubs/dorm rooms/dirty basements. She talked more, made an effort to be "normal" and hid most of her nerdy-ness. She drank a lot but mostly that's because it always seemed a hit with all kinds of people.

Lauren also developed a brief romance with a senior student in her Chemistry class named Sean. He was different from all the boys she'd dated before (all two of them), and for the first time (another first) Lauren thought she was in love. He was a nerd too but he wasn't intimidated with her. He could talk science with her without stuttering or blushing in embarrassment, but most importantly, he looked at her eyes when they talked. It made Lauren feel important: seen and known for who she is.

He was her first boyfriend (Paul Neville may have told everyone who'd listen to him that she was his girl in junior year, it still wouldn't make it truth. She went out with him once because he told her that he was planning a study group for the French finals) and her first sexual relationship (to Matt Cohen's disappointment. Her agreement to be his date for senior prom didn't mean implicit agreement to have sex with him later that night. Perhaps he would have better chance if Lauren hadn't known that the only he asked her out was because HIS parents liked her.).

The relationship lasted a semester, after which they broke up when Lauren found Sean in bed with another girl (first heartbreak). She got over him soon enough, just in time for the end of the first semester at which point she received her less than stellar final marks. The low grades shocked Lauren out of her new behaviour. For someone who was a consistent A-student almost without trying, receiving a C+ in anything (even if it was only a Classics course she took on a whimsy) was the equivalent of a straight punch in the abdomen. College life seemed so easy going and she thought that she was handling her studies and her "extracurricular activities" well enough.

She went home for Christmas break, endured the silent, disappointed faces of her parents and went back with a new resolution. She quit the parties which effectively stopped her social drinking. She lost many friends, but she didn't miss them (she found most of them annoying and could only tolerate them with considerable alcohol in her system). Without the distractions, Lauren began to truly enjoy her college life. She reveled in her back to back science courses and relished the constant challenges to her intellect. She joined a couple of the science clubs and took up Kendo for sport (it was good for concentration and physical fitness). She met other people not unlike Sean, confident nerds that she could "talk shop" with but avoided casual relationships.

Lauren only had one other serious boyfriend in her college. Ollie was an English major, which was at odds with her double Bio and Chem, but they had fit well enough. Both gentle and quiet in nature, they liked studying more than partying and they both had cheating ex-partners. The last was a crucial point because they both agreed that they weren't looking for anything serious (that was how they met: a drunk Ollie mouthing off about his ex to a tipsy Lauren, who got caught in the ex-bashing mood). It ended when Ollie developed a crush on another girl (another English major) and Lauren developed a crush on the same girl. Ollie and her remained friends but that was the end of her heterosexuality.


	2. Meeting Nadia

4

After college came med school, where she finished as top of her class, and then her residency at the hospital started. On her third year as intern, Lauren was paged to look at a patient for a possible tetanus infection from a dog bite. That was when she met Nadia. When Nadia tells this story, she insists that it was love at first sight but Lauren would not accept such cheesy, imprecise description. She won't deny though, that she was instantly attracted and if pressed, she will admit that for a couple of seconds upon seeing Nadia she had felt like she'd already known her for forever and couldn't help the smiling at her accordingly (Nadia will jump in at this point in the story and tell everyone that it was Lauren's smile made her fall for her).

The bite wasn't infected and was easily cleaned. Unfortunately for Lauren, she had in hand a determined and smitten journalist (the dog bite was from a trespassing gone bad in pursuit of a story). Unfortunately for Nadia, Lauren was currently in dating a nurse from the Pediatrics ward.

The attraction between them proved too much to deter and in 2 weeks the nurse was history. Nadia and Lauren became NadiaandLauren and everyone would say that they were madly in love (with an emphasis on mad). There was a strange magnetism between them that was too irresistible. Lauren realized that she'd never been in love because what she felt now surpassed anything she'd ever felt for any (or all) of her previous relationships. Nadia reminded her of that first week in college. Of feeling uncertain but excited, feeling almost itchy and frenzied (a strange feeling even now for her, who believed in controlled excitement). She wanted to do and share everything all at once with Nadia, envelop her in her life (another strange feeling for her who highly valued her privacy) and be with her all the time.

Their friends were suspicious and didn't believe it would last (mostly Nadia's friends because Lauren only had Ollie -who was simply happy for her, and the other residents -who started a betting game on them). In four months they were living together. After two years they were still together.

5

Nadia was outgoing and gregarious, lively and social. She was a curious creature and loved her job of meeting new people and writing news and feature articles. Lauren was her usual self, contained and graceful, gentle and private. They shouldn't have worked together but they did. Nadia brought Lauren out whenever she found herself too immersed in her work, let her have a social life and made her enjoy the little things in life. Lauren restrained Nadia from her impulsive fervor to right injustice and save the world. They grounded each other and accepted the other completely. They were each other's best friends and favorite person.

Every naysayer from the past admired their relationship now. Nadia's friends liked Lauren and she got along well with them. They liked her quirky sense of humour and her quiet charm, although sometimes, they did find her too cool. Lauren's colleagues similarly liked Nadia, who was an atypical partner. In their eyes, Lauren won the proverbial jackpot with Nadia, who not only was a workaholic (like all of them) but also not a hypocrite (she didn't mind that Lauren worked long hours too.)

That wasn't to say that they didn't fight or that everything was smooth sailing. They both loved their work and were passionate on their beliefs. Sometimes they were just too different from each other. They would fight on the smallest things ("You were supposed to clean the tub! I almost broke my neck on that soap scum this morning!") to the big issues ("Why do you hate my parents?")

It didn't help that they would get too busy in their jobs and did not see each other for days. With Lauren's erratic 48-72 hour shifts in the hospital or the days Nadia had to go abroad for a story, they had to compromise and made sure that they have 'sacrosanct' days to spend time with each other. Curiously enough, they never had a problem with cheating issues. With the amount of time they spent apart, (compounded by Nadia's natural social ease) people who knew their situation would often wonder if they felt insecure or paranoid at all. Yet cheating was never an issue; they were both loyal people and they were both very much in love with each other (after all this time). If they had a mistress on the side it would be their work, Lauren would joke. People would laugh and nod, because knowing them, it only made sense.


	3. Congo and the Fae

6

The news of the research grant approval came during an off time. Nadia had recently expanded her skill set to include photojournalism and had received favourable reviews over her work. Someone had mentioned that she could try showing some of her works in a gallery and Lauren had mistakenly told her that she believed Nadia shouldn't and should focus on her writing. It sparked a massive argument, where Nadia accused her of not being supportive enough, being too dictating and stopped speaking to her except with single word answers. Usually, Lauren backed down more often than Nadia in their arguments because she didn't like conflicts. This time she wouldn't because she truly believed that a gallery was unnecessary. Nadia's best work were her writings. The photos she took enhanced her articles, not vice versa.

So Lauren hesitated in sharing her news. Nadia had known about it (had in fact, encouraged her to apply for one) but she wasn't sure what it meant for their relationship if they (or she) had to move to the Congo for the next 6 months. In her anxiety, she made sure she was prepared for any contingency and when time came, presented her work professionally (it looked more like a business proposal than a simple good news). Lauren hadn't gotten far (she'd only tackled the issue of their leasing their apartment) when Nadia proved that she could go above her own problems to be Lauren's best friend. For that time, they forgot that they were fighting and celebrated properly. There were hugs and kisses and other body parts were groped, at which point the celebration moved to the bedroom and morphed into make-up sex.

When Lauren was finally able to continue her presentation the next morning (it was a shame to waste it, after all), she suggested that their time in the Congo would be an adventure. Lauren would have her medical research and Nadia could continue her photography and maybe even create her own documentary (it was a better fit with her journalism skills than a gallery). Nadia forgot her earlier snit, apologized genuinely for being stupid and whole heartedly embraced this new venture. It didn't take long to organize their departure (Lauren's planning helped a lot) and in a short month, they were in Congo. The first week upon their arrival did feel like an adventure. Away from civilization as they knew it, they were both eager to explore and learn more about their new home. Before Lauren could get caught up in the research, they made sure to enjoy the place and each other first. They went on tours of nearby villages and took in the sites. The beautiful nature around were both scary and awe-inspiring even as they felt shocked by the poverty surrounding them.

7

Lauren basked on the hammock, idly listening to Nadia's bustling in the kitchen. It was a "day off" that they planned to rest and catch up. It hadn't taken long for their "normal" routine to establish itself again once the honeymoon period ended. Lauren often found herself busy in the medical centre, immersing herself in bacterial cultures and microscope slides. At the beginning, Nadia was first left at home for hours at the time (she retained her job in the newspaper, sending some of the photos she'd taken, editing pieces and writing the occasional human interest article) to entertain herself. There was satellite cable for both TV and internet, (they bought the DVD player and discs just in case) and a working phone line. It caused minor flare ups between them, Nadia only now realizing how big a change it was and how hard it was for her to be apart from society as she knew it. (They never fully fought, wary of alienating the only familiar face in the continent, but it made for a few uncomfortable nights.)

But Nadia was still Nadia, whether she's in Toronto or in the Congo. In a week she was communicating in broken French and a handful of English and Kikongo with the natives in the village and taking their pictures and collecting their stories. (Incidentally, the language was never a barrier for Lauren who had been fluent in French since high school.) In another month, she was traveling to other villages to meet more people and had created a blog on her adventures that was growing more popular by the day.

"Here you go hun,"

A tall glass of ice tea touched Lauren's cheek. Giving a small yelp of surprise, she gave a mock glare to her grinning girlfriend. "Not funny."

Nadia poked her tongue out. "I disagree. I'm very funny."

Lauren tried to maintain the glare but couldn't keep the goofy smile that formed on her lips. "Ha ha." Nadia smiled at her and gave her a quick kiss. Before Lauren could deepen it, she'd already moved away to sit on the patio sofa.

"Hey hun, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Hmm?" Lauren glanced at her curiously. Nadia sounded serious. "What is it babe?"

Rolling to her side to fully face her girlfriend, Nadia told her story. She had heard that there was a village some miles from theirs where apparently people had begun dying of a mysterious disease. The doctors currently stationed in their nearby medical centre couldn't figure out what was causing the disease and how to cure it. Nor could the local village shaman.

"I was wondering if you could help. I have a friend there and she's scared for her children." Nadia said nervously. Lauren understood her anxiety. This was a place that still firmly believed in home remedies rather than real medicine (which was still a scarce commodity) and a disease that had begun killing people could very well turn into an epidemic. And more often than not the main priority was to control the progress of disease rather than curing it. She sat up and put her ice tea on the side table. "Of course I will help babe, just tell me where it is." She took Nadia's hands in hers and kissed them tenderly. "For your friend and for the others that are sick."

"Thanks hun. I love you." Nadia hugged her closer and gave her a slow kiss. Lauren groaned and responded by nipping her lower lip. When Nadia gave a small cry of surprise, Lauren took the opportunity to deepen the kiss further. A while later, Nadia pulled away to get her breath back, "I should ask for you medical expertise more if this is how..oh!" she said, only to groan again when Lauren's mouth hit a particularly sensitive spot near her collarbone. "I missed you." was all Lauren could say between kisses.

"I missed you too."

8

The sick village was 5 hours away from their place by jeep. When Lauren and Nadia got there, they were very much welcomed by the overwhelmed skeleton staff of the local medical centre. Lauren went to work immediately. She learned that 3 have already died and 4 more were in the ward right now, showing signs of the sickness. There wasn't much to go on - chills, coughing up blood, cramps, falling into a coma - before the victim dies suddenly. The staff had tried every medicine and every herbal remedy they knew of, but nothing was working. So far, they could only make sure to keep their patients relatively comfortable. All they knew right now was that the disease is not too sudden, lasting from 7 to 10 days before the body ultimately gives up.

Lauren gathered blood samples from all patients, and took a few others from their relatives and families for comparison. She went back to her place, where her rudimentary laboratory was better equipped. Nadia stayed with her friend.

It became apparent after the first 3 hours of working with the blood cultures that her new patients weren't humans. Or at least, they weren't the regular kind of humans. Their blood cells look different, and they carry extra protein in their blood. Lauren had double checked and knew that seemingly unrelated people in the village have the same blood composition, and that only those types of people were affected by the disease. It would have been so exciting to discover something like this, but Lauren was mostly confused and anxious. How could there be a new type of people hidden in a small African village? She needed answers and she knew where to get them too. One of the patients in the ward was a village elder.

Lauren arrived early the next day and took him to a semi private room. She closed the door and bluntly stated, "I want to know what you are."

The old man merely raised an eyebrow but otherwise showed no sign of panic or nervousness at being found out. Lauren meanwhile grew more frustrated. She barely had 3 hours of sleep in two days and she wasn't in the mood to play games. She laid out all her cards. "I have your blood samples. It's different, something I've never seen before. Only people with your blood composition is affected with the disease. People with regular blood like me or the other people in the village aren't affected when I tested it. Our immune system rejects the foreign matter that your system cannot process." She paused. "Right now, I need you to tell me what you are so I can help. Please."

The old man remained silent but now he looked more animated. There was concern in his eyes, worry. Lauren wondered if this was because of her news about the disease, or her discovery of their other -ness. He opened his mouth but before he could say anything the door opened and when the man stepped in the room, the whole world stopped for a long second.

"Dr. Lewis."

Her name in his voice caused the hair at the back of her neck to stand. She could feel goose bumps forming on her skin. She looked at him carefully and thought immediately of the cliché "tall, dark and handsome" to be a correct but inadequate description. He was dressed in all white clothes which emphasized his dark skin. His voice was deep and melodious and his gaze was striking. But aside from his physical characteristics, there was an aura to him (and Lauren will never use the word aura without just cause) of great age and power. She snapped out of it when she saw him offer his hand.

"I am Mr. Ash." They shook hands. Lauren noted that his hands were warm and scratchy but very solid. "I am a friend of M'Bulu and I appreciate all the help that you've provided so far. However, I have brought with me my own medical team and we would be taking over their treatment."

Lauren's mouth dropped open. "No wait, you can't just do that! I am a doctor, I can help."

Mr. Ash looked unperturbed by her loud protestation. One eyebrow raised while he gazed at her and said, "My guards outside will help you out if you have any problems" before he focused again on Mr. M'Bulu. Clearly dismissed, Lauren thought of protesting some more, of sharing what she knew but she had caught sight of Mr. M'Bulu's expression. She hesitated. He looked more worried and there was a strange deference in his body language. It told her how powerful the man standing in front of her was.

"I see. Then it's very nice to meet you Mr. Ash." she conceded, turning to walk away.

Mr. Ash nodded once, and turned his back on her. Lauren left the room and sure enough there were two guards posted outside. She took a quick look back and was startled at the sight of Mr. M'Bulu bowing and kissing Mr. Ash's hand. (Was he royalty then? An African tribal leader? But he spoke in English, Lauren remembered, not in French) She was so deep in thought that she hadn't noticed the influx of new staff and medical equipment crowding the centre or Nadia waiting for her outside.

"Lauren!"

She blinked and looked around, "Nadia! What's wrong?"

Nadia smiled and took her hand, lacing their fingers together. "I should ask you that. You didn't tell me you were coming back this early. I saw the jeep so I waited for you here but you seem distracted."

Lauren ran her free hand over her face and blew her breath out. "I'm sorry, yeah, I'm a bit distracted. I got kicked out, actually."

"What?" Nadia stopped them in the middle of the street. "What do you mean kicked out? Who kicked you out? Why?"

Lauren gave her hand a squeeze to get her to relax a bit and offered a rueful smile. "Some guy came in and said he was their friend and that he'd brought with him his medical staff. He thanked me for my cooperation and then sent me away."

"That's stupid!" Nadia was getting worked up. "You could definitely help them! You're brilliant and intelligent and determined and gorgeous!"

Lauren laughed at that and gave her a quick kiss. "I don't see what that last thing have to do about it but thanks for defending me. I'm fine though. I'm not actually giving up. I have everything I need back at the lab so I can still work on it."

"Oh." nonplussed, Nadia started walking again. "That's good. Have you found anything so far?"

Lauren debated if she should tell Nadia of her discovery. Knowing Nadia, she might just blow it out of proportion, which wasn't something she needed right now. That man, Mr. Ash, had brought his own team. It stands to reason that he'd known of their condition beforehand and was keeping the secret. In fact, he may already be administering the cure to their disease. He also looked pretty important, what with the imposing attitude and the guards, that she didn't want to risk blabbing to a journalist. Never mind that it was her girlfriend journalist. Mind made up, she resolved to tell everything later when the crisis was over.

"Not really, not yet. I've just begun mapping out the composition of the foreign matter targeting their immune system."

"Is it something contagious? Maya is still very worried and thinking of moving to her brother's village for a while."

"No, I don't think so. From what I've seen so far, it targets a specific type of person susceptible to it. Maya and her family should be safe."

"That's a relief." Nadia stopped them at a door to a hut. "You can break the good news to her yourself, super doctor."

Lauren grinned at her and mock puffed her chest out. Humming the Superman theme song, she stepped inside the hut.

9

Nadia continued to stay with Maya for a few days, allowing Lauren to spend all her time at the lab. They kept in touch everyday via the phone and she had learned that there were 2 more sick people and that no one was getting cured. She didn't know what to think of that (she refused to acknowledge the stack of questions rising inside her for the moment) and continued diligently with her own work.

On her 3rd day since getting kicked out, Nadia arrived home in a flurry. Lauren was tired and a bit testy (a person had already died and her tentative antidotes weren't working). She had fallen asleep in the lab (when she clearly didn't have the time to rest) and hadn't taken a bath yet. She was dirty and frustrated and didn't want to deal with a high energy girlfriend. She had no choice however when the first words out of Nadia's mouth were, "I think you should stop working on it, hun."

Lauren shook her head. She couldn't have heard that right. "I'm sorry?"

Nadia sighed heavily and looked her in the eye. "I think that whatever is happening isn't an ordinary disease. They have armed men guarding the centre. The usual staff can't come in and they won't let anyone see the sick people. It could be some illegal corporate bio-experimentation and I don't want you to get involved."

"Nadia, I don't understand," Lauren rubbed her eyes tiredly, "you of all people should be jumping up at the sign of this conspiracy and now you're just backing down all of a sudden?" A horrible thought entered her head. "Did they do something to you! Are you okay?"

Nadia started pacing. "Yes, I mean no! No, they haven't done anything. And yes I know that I should be all over this and trying to expose them by now, but I can't even get near the place let alone snoop about it. And I have a bad feeling about this one. I don't want to take the risk. I don't want you to take the risk."

Lauren shook her head. "I can't babe, I'm sorry but I can't do as you ask." She took a step back as Nadia rounded on her. "Lauren! It's dangerous! They're clearly up to something there and you shouldn't get involved in it!"

Lauren threw her arms up in frustration. "But you can't know for sure. Maybe they just like their privacy. Regardless, I'm a doctor Nadia. I help people. I want to help people. I can't just stand by and do nothing when people are dying."

Nadia stopped at that and let her body slump. "I know you do. I just couldn't help but try. I worry for you."

Lauren walked over to her and gathered her in her arms, "Don't worry about me okay? I'll be fine. I'm near to solving this and then we could all relax." She gave a careful kiss to her cheek and hugged Nadia to her tightly, "It'll be fine. You'll see. I'm super doctor, remember?" Nadia managed a watery chuckle, and tried to disengage from the hug. Lauren pulled her back in and wiped the thin lines of moisture in her face. "Hey, don't cry. I promise you that I'll be careful, okay?" She knocked their forehead gently, looking her straight in the eyes to show her sincerity, "I don't think they're doing something illegal, though." She remembered that strange scene she saw last time. The obeisance in M'Bulu's posture and the Mr. Ash's regal bearing. She thought of the weird blood and the secret community. "The guy seemed like he genuinely cared and wanted to help. It was probably only a way to quarantine them and stop the spread of disease." She gave her a small kiss, and then another and another. Nadia buried her face in her neck, "I'm sorry. I just... I got so scared. I know what you say is reasonable and I believe you but I still feel that there's something fishy happening there. I... " She shook her head and took a deep breath before completely pulling away from Lauren.

"You're right. I'm being silly and freaking out over nothing." When Lauren smiled and tried to pull her back, she took a step away and said, "Okay, no. No more hugging now." She wiped at her eyes and gave a genuine smile. "You should take a bath because you stink. I love you, hun, but I don't love that smell on you."

"Hey!" Lauren grinned. "You're supposed to love everything about me. Even my sweaty smells."

"Shut it lady and take a bath now!"

10

Lauren finished the antidote in 2 more days (thankfully no one else had died). She didn't stop to feel elated and instead hurried to the other village. When she got there, the sun was just beginning to peek from the horizon and she saw what had scared Nadia off. The local medical centre had been turned into a guarded fortress. There was a newly built fence surrounding it and she could clearly see armed guards patrolling the area. She suppressed her curiosity over the necessity of such extreme measures, and went instead to the gate area. She was stopped immediately and told in no uncertain terms that no one was allowed in.

Lauren felt intimidated but she wouldn't show it to these guards. "I want to see Mr. Ash. Tell him Dr. Lewis is here and that I created a cure." It immediately caught their attention. They looked unbelieving and incredulous. (Were they familiar with the disease then? Had they known from the beginning that there was no curing these patients, only containing them?) Nadia often told her that she had an excellent poker face. She'd tell her then that learning to maintain an affable expression was one of the first things her mother thought her. She used that ability now. Lauren refused to let her doubts show and stared the guards down.

One of them couldn't help himself and blurted out, "You? You found a cure for the blood fever?"

So they did know it. And what's up with that reaction? It wasn't that he was shocked, it was that he seemed to take offence that she specifically was able to solve the problem . She raised an eyebrow at him. "I want to see Mr. Ash." The guards tried to glare at her to submission but gave up soon enough. The one who spoke before gestured with his head and the other guard left to go inside the centre. Lauren could swear that before he left he muttered something like bossy humans.

They didn't have to wait long, Mr. Ash came soon enough and the guard with him took up his position again, subtly blocking her way. Like before he was smartly dressed in all white clothes. He looked his calm self and showed no sign that he had been interrupted in his day. It made Lauren feel nervous again.

"Dr. Lewis."

"Mr. Ash. I know you told me not to bother but I had to help. I made a cure." She hated that she wanted to play with her fingers and shuffle her feet under his stare. She was a doctor not a kid. She could help and she had to make him understand that.

"Indeed." He gave her another one of his penetrating stares and then as though some signal passed, the guards parted for her. "Come in and you can talk with my doctor."

She followed him in and was promptly introduced to his doctor. The doctor was a white male in his late 50's. He was what a typical doctor would look like, white hair, glasses and the lab coat. Even the arrogant expression in his face was typical. Lauren knew that doctors in general (and she's freely including herself in this) liked to believe that they know everything and knew what was best for their patients. (It's a side effect of having to study for so many years. It makes them feel superior.) However, what wasn't familiar was the sneer in his face. It was too personal and directed at her specifically. Like the one the guard had, she realized. She was beginning to think that they had something against her.

"Give me the cure girl." The unnamed doctor demanded. Lauren furrowed her brows and looked to Mr. Ash. He gave no notice of her look. Frustrated now, Lauren grabbed the vial of the antidote she created from her purse. "What's your name?" she asked.

The doctor ignored her and merely took the vial from her hands. "Have you tested it?" He didn't wait for her to answer, moving quickly to his equipment. Lauren was fully frowning now. "Of course I did. How else would I know if it will work or not?" Again, her sarcasm was ignored. She watched the doctor fiddle with his slides and the microscope for a few minutes, before she tried again. "Please doctor, can you tell me the status of the patients?"

That got her a grunted, "Stable. For now." About to fully lose her patience, Lauren was about to speak again when Mr. Ash beat her. "How is it Dr. Bertrand?" The doctor responded immediately. His sneer was gone, as well as his impatient tone. It was replaced by grudging respect. "It looks well sir. The antidote breaks down the virus in the blood. However, I would caution against using it immediately. We should test it some more to make sure..."

Mr. Ash raised his hand for silence. "We will talk to M'Bulu and let him decide. This is his people and it is his right."

At that, Lauren looked back to Mr. Ash. "Mr. M'Bulu hasn't succumbed to the coma yet?" From what she'd seen, he had already been in the advanced stages of the disease.

"He is very strong," was all Mr. Ash said before he turned to lead the way to the private room. "Come with us Dr. Lewis."

Lauren disliked being ordered like that but followed quietly.

Mr. M'Bulu's health had deteriorated. He was thin, pale and he was sweaty but shivering uncontrollably as though cold. Even so, upon seeing Mr. Ash, he tried to rise.

"It is alright M'Bulu," Mr. Ash said, stopping him. He settled back down with a grimace of relief. "Dr. Lewis has managed to create a cure for the blood fever." M'Bulu looked shocked, "What?" he rasped.

"It is untested. However, there is no time to do a proper testing. You can either take it now without knowing the side effects or wait for Dr. Bertrand to thoroughly test and ensure its safety." Mr. Ash continued.

M'Bulu looked at Mr. Ash, then at Dr. Bertrand and then finally at Dr. Lewis. He didn't take long to decide. "I will take the cure. You can use me to observe the effects of the medicine before you administer it to the others."

Dr. Bertrand looked put out at that and said, "Yes, well, it's your choice of course. And I will have to create more of the antidote anyway..."

Lauren interrupted him with pleasure. "There's no need Dr. Bertrand," she paused as though to savour his name, "I made more than necessary just to be safe." She pulled a baggie containing other vials from her purse. Thoroughly enjoying the doctor's sour look, she continued. "I thought we could also inject the other unaffected people with vaccine to prevent more incidents."

At that last, Mr. Ash gave a tiny, almost imperceptible quirk of his mouth. Lauren thought that he must have been very amused to let that emotion show. Fortunately, Dr. Bertrand didn't see it. Instead, he took the vials from Lauren's hand almost violently and stopped, unable to pull it from her grasp. When he looked up, he had to take a involuntary step back from the blatant anger in Lauren's face. "Please be careful doctor."

At that, Dr. Bertrand flushed and with glare, he gentled his approach. With a mocking quiet voice, he said, "I'm sorry Dr. Lewis. For certain, I will be careful. This is very precious after all."

Lauren wanted to retaliate some more (something along the lines of, "I have the formula and my notes, of course. I just don't want to waste time making it again - when we can start curing people now.") but decided she didn't want to be too childish. Already she felt guilty that she'd let that arrogant doctor get under her skin.

Mr. Ash inclined his head at her and said, "If you wish, you may wait here while the doctor and his staff tend to the other patients."

"Thank you."

She didn't have to wait long. Three hours after M'Bulu was vaccinated, he showed signs of improvement. His muscles relaxed their constant cramping and he stopped sweating so much. A couple of hours later, Dr. Bertrand that he could find no fault with the cure, for now, so he injected the rest of the patients. The less sicker ones recovered much quicker and it was early afternoon when Mr. Ash found Lauren sitting with one of them.

He motioned for her to follow him and led her to an office. He sat on the chair behind the table and gestured for her to take her own seat. "Dr. Lewis. You have impressed me with your dedication, care and intelligence. As you may have already gathered, we are familiar with this disease. But we have always believed that there was no cure for it. Thus I have brought my medical team with me, not to cure, but to ease my people's suffering. Your medicine is almost a miracle." He paused at that. Lauren wondered if he was just that arrogant to call them his people, or if it held deeper meaning. The questions in her mind clamored.

He continued. "I am willing to offer you a reward for the service you've rendered to us for this day and for the future."

Lauren didn't hesitate. "I want to know what you are. What these people are because I know you're not ordinary humans. I want to know everything."

It was a tall order, but Mr. Ash didn't hesitate either. Thus Lauren learned of the existence of the Fae (and the ones called Under Fae), of the division between Light and Dark, of their need for secrecy, of their relations and regard for humans and many more besides. She learned that M'Bulu and the people sick right now are of the order of Aziza. An African mythological creature, they are of fairy race and they prefer to live near the forest. They provide good magic to hunters and bestow spiritual guidance to whomever they thinks would need one.

When Mr. Ash, or rather, The Ash's (as his true title was, she never got his real name) impromptu lecture ended two hours have already past. He had patiently answered her questions and there have been many. He ended with a warning that she was not to reveal any of the information she gathered there today.

"I know that your mate is a journalist." Lauren looked at him sharply. Mr... The Ash gave the impression of a shrug (his body didn't actually move), "We had you investigated when we came here." Lauren could accept that, though she was still rattled by all that she'd heard. Her whole world had been turned upside down, she deserved to be a bit paranoid.

"I understand that you cannot keep this secret from her. But warn her that spreading this information would be dangerous. The Light and Dark Fae may not get along all the time, but in this, in the protection of our secret, we are of one mind." He continued, "We will be ruthless to anyone who dares break this law."

Lauren gulped and shivered. Her throat was dry and she found herself slightly trembling. She controlled herself as best as she could and offered him a smile. "Of course, I understand." She stood up and put her hand out. "However strange I find all of these right now, I am still glad that we met." They shook hands and Lauren said goodbye.


	4. How Lauren came to join the Fae

11

Lauren returned home almost in a daze. Her brilliant mind tried to reconcile the sudden information dump it received. She had known that they were different. She had seen it with her eyes. The different blood cells and the virus destroying those cells. The same virus ignoring regular human blood cell. (The cloven hoof of one the guards - Mr... The Ash brought him in for a brief show and tell) But she never realized that there would be so much more. That there was another world beyond the one she lived in.

Though now she understood why the Mr. Ash, the guards, the doctor and most of the medical staff had looked at her so incredulously. She was only human. It made her want to laugh out loud, but she stopped herself because she just knew that if she let the laugh bubbling inside her loose, she'd be hysterical. The human species were traditionally regarded as merely food or entertainment of the Fae, that was what Mr. (of for god's sake) The Ash told her. And she, the human doctor, got one over them. She had cured the blood fever. A virtually incurable and deadly disease that has plagued various fairy races through thousands of years.

Lauren didn't know how she got home. Somehow she had been able to drive and think without any accident whatsoever. Though when she saw her house, she felt excitement bubbling up inside her. What a tremendous story to tell Nadia. She'd never believe it. Not without proof. She almost wished she'd taken a picture of that hoof, but Nadia would have to make do with the blood samples she had left in the lab.

"Babe? I'm home!"

The house was quiet and dark. Lauren turned on the lights as she went in and wondered where Nadia had gone. She had gone out very early that morning and had only left a brief note for Nadia explaining her errand. Had Nadia actually followed her and they somehow missed each other?

She entered the bedroom, turned on the lights and stopped for a second. Then her whole body leapt to action as she tried to reach for Nadia's prone body. "Babe? What's wrong?"

Nadia couldn't answer her. She was unconscious and shivering. Lauren could see that her lip was bleeding slightly. She must have bitten it. Why? What's happening? She shook her gently and tapped her face, "Babe, it's me. Wake up." She tapped her harder but Nadia was still unresponsive. If not for the shivering and the slow breathing she would've thought that Nadia was dead. It made no sense, until she remembered that these were the classic signs of the blood fever.

"No, it can't be. You're human. Unless you're not telling me something." But even Lauren knew that wasn't true. She had tested Nadia's blood before. Normal human. Unable to wake her up for now, she rearranged Nadia's prone body on the bed and made her comfortable. Then she started to work.

xxx

By morning, there was no visible change in Nadia's condition, except she wasn't shivering as hard and sweating less. She didn't have the blood fever virus in her system but Lauren still risked giving her some of the medication. She had the symptoms, so she figured it should work. It didn't. She tried all the medicine she could think of that would be appropriate, taking care not to overwhelm Nadia's body but nothing worked.

It was only by late afternoon that day, after triple and quadruple checking of her findings that Lauren even remembered what had happened yesterday. It must be Fae-related. It must be! Maybe not the blood fever but something else. It was too big a coincidence. But what could have made Nadia sick and why her? It should have been Lauren, she was the one most exposed to the Fae elements. Apart from knowing Maya, Nadia shouldn't have any contact with the other sick Fae from the village, shouldn't she?

Lauren didn't have time for speculation right now. She made sure that Nadia was comfortable in bed and headed out. She drove almost recklessly and reached the other village in no time at all. She was relieved to see that the armed guards were still milling about the medical centre. She parked haphazardly and rushed in. The guards recognized her quickly and didn't try to stop her. She hadn't even managed to change her clothes from yesterday.

She stopped a nurse and panted, "I need to talk to The Ash." The nurse didn't seem inclined to stop a mad woman and merely pointed in the direction of the office. Lauren would have barged in but more guards were there on standby as usual. These ones wouldn't allow her to come near the door at all. "Please, I need to see the Ash! Mr. Ash! Mr. Ash! Please!" They grabbed her and Lauren's struggling didn't even move them.

The door opened and the Ash stepped out. He raised an eyebrow in her direction but didn't say a word. The guards released her abruptly, making her stumble a bit. She didn't bother looking back at them.

The Ash placed himself behind the table again, but didn't take a seat. In front of him, Lauren lost most of the manic energy fuelling her. She took a deep breath and tried to gather her composure. She had charged in here demanding to see him, but she knew that she needed to be calm to get him to take her seriously. Despite her panic, she remembered how everyone had looked at her yesterday. She was only human and he was the leader of the Light Fae. (And was probably a thousand years old to boot.)

"Sir, I need your help." She began, taking another deep breath. "My girlfriend is sick. She is showing signs of the blood fever but the medicine does not work. I have tried everything and I don't know what else to do. I suspect that it may be Fae related. Please sir." She resisted adding another please. She was desperate yes, but she also knew that she mustn't show it. It will be seen as a weakness, compounding her natural weak humanity. (Lauren knows this instinctively because it is a familiar thing for her. Her parents had drummed into her the importance of always having a neutral, affable face. She must not let any extreme emotion show, especially in public. She must always have control of herself and be calm even in the face of a crisis. Although her mother's idea of a crisis usually involved last minute changes to party plans, Lauren had always found this good advice now that she was a medical doctor. Her ability to keep her cool made patients trust her instantly, and more experienced doctors to respect her. On the other hand, she did find the humour in comparing her experience with rich socialites politics to Fae ones.)

The Ash regarded her for a while before he spoke, jolting her out of her ridiculous thoughts. "Lauren Lewis, you have provided a great service to the Fae and for this I will grant your request." Before Lauren could fully relax in relief, the Ash continued. "However, we have also trusted you with the knowledge of our existence. This is not a small thing."

She followed his thoughts quickly, "I'll pay any price you ask of me. Anything." She promised fervently.

The Ash merely gave her impassioned declaration another inscrutable look and said, "Beware doctor the folly of promising anything before you know the terms. Surely, you know how to bargain?"

Lauren clenched her hands in frustration but acknowledged the small rebuke. "Yes sir, but as you already know, Nadia is my girlfriend. My mate. I would do anything for her."

"If I ask you to kill? Or hurt someone, using your knowledge of the human body, would that be an acceptable trade?"

Lauren hesitated. Now she suddenly understood what he meant by folly. "I would that you don't ask that of me. I am a doctor... a healer and I have sworn to do no harm. " She shrugged helplessly, "Nadia would not have wanted her life bought by another. So I will do anything else, except the pain and death of a living being." She bit her lip, praying that he won't take offense at that.

The Ash only gave a nod. "I understand. Dr. Lewis, I will share with you all the knowledge and resource at my disposal to help you cure your mate. In return, I ask that you bind yourself in complete servitude to the Light Fae for as long as you may have need of us."

Lauren drew a sharp breath in. For a moment, she feared that she would faint, when her vision started to tunnel in. She blinked heavily and released her breath. "I accept."

"So it shall be. I will draw a formal contract for you to sign when we go back. We will retrieve Ms. Jamison from your home in the meantime and put her in stasis while you look for the cure." At that, Lauren finally allowed herself to relax. She barely caught the edge of the desk to keep her from falling in a heap on the floor. She managed a small smile at the Ash and murmured, "Thank you."

12

It didn't take long to arrange everything. It went without saying that Lauren would be quitting her research in the Congo. She traveled back with the Ash and his entourage (to Toronto too and in a private jet) and she and Nadia's comatose body were installed in the main Light Fae compound. Once settled in, she was presented with her contract and learned what being a servant of the Light meant.

Some of the terms, she had already expected (even if she had not been looking forward to it). She was to cut off all ties with the human world, with no exceptions for close friends or family. (The Ash, or someone working for him, even created a back story to support this sudden alienation: Nadia had gotten sick and fallen into a comatose. She was officially registered to be a patient in a private hospital where visitors were strictly limited. Lauren, in her grief, had decided to bury herself in her research in the Congo. The rest of the details - her apartment, their jobs, their friends and families suspicions - were taken care of.)

In the end, it was a fairly simple contract. There was the bit about full obedience and loyalty. And then her terms, permission to peruse the library at leisure and use all other resources for Nadia's care. Lastly, there was her addition: that she will never be used to hurt or kill another.

She scanned the document and only had to sign the paper, in front of the witness. (There wasn't any need for elaborate magical binding). The Ash made her kneel and bow in front of him. Lauren didn't see but felt him put a necklace on her. From then on, it would mark her as his possession and put her directly under his command and protection. (This was a relief for Lauren. At least she wouldn't be under the command of any Light Fae she encountered.)

Once that was over, she started working. Her first week in the compound, she spent almost completely in the library. It was a vast library, containing thousands of years of knowledge about the Fae. Most of the contents had already been digitized and translated, but the majority still retained their original language, human or not. The librarian had been introduced to Lauren (a real live Sphinx too. And boy was that an adventure or what? ) and grudgingly helped whenever it could in the translation. Lauren had been too busy, she hadn't even noticed the slight animosity of the Sphinx librarian against her. (If she had, it probably would have made her nervous and lose concentration.)

She had been trying to gather as much information as she can on various diseases that sounded the least bit like Nadia's, and wading through them to separate the more unlikely ones. The first week turned to two, and then three weeks. By her first month (Most of which was spent in the library. Other times she'd be locked up in her room, poring over books), Lauren began to realize that there was no cure. At least nothing that will magically show itself in the next few days or weeks. What afflicted Nadia was either something new (which she couldn't accept) or something rare (which wasn't any better). What few symptoms and clues she could gather from Nadia's body was too vague to be properly identified.

It made her despair. For the first time in a month, she allowed herself to feel all the guilt, anger and grief that she had been suppressing to focus on finding Nadia's cure. With this realization, Lauren allowed herself to break down and let go. She didn't care if anyone could hear as she shouted with everything in her, in an attempt to drown out her heart's pain. She yelled and screamed until she was hoarse and then she cried. Lauren had never liked to cry. It wasn't something she was familiar with and it made her feel awkward and heavy, as though the act of crying, burdened her more than simply suppressing her emotions. (She will have more practice in crying over the next months. Lauren will learn to cry and learn to wash her emotions with her tears until it calms and ceases to matter.)

It didn't matter now. She cried and cried until she was an ugly mess. She swallowed her tears and allowed its taste to choke her until she vomited. She cried for what seemed like days, alone and curled up on the floor of her room. When she was done crying, she headed down to the nearest bar and drank herself blind.

After vomiting the remainder of her hollow self, Lauren cleaned herself up and visited Nadia for the first time since she left her at their home in the Congo. Nadia had been put in a pod chamber, where both science and magic held her body in stasis to prevent degeneration. Lauren had overseen some of the move, but she had never truly visited Nadia. She found it easier to bury herself in the books and scrolls, rather than face her girlfriend without an answer. Now, she still didn't have her answer but she couldn't put off facing her sins anymore.

She looked at the smooth egg-like structure that Nadia was housed in and ran her hand at its cool surface. She walked around it until she reached the head part and she could see Nadia's sleeping face. Lauren choked a little, but she fought against the lump in her throat and began to speak,

"Hey babe, it's been a while. I'm so sorry I haven't come to visit." She paused and took another deep breath. "I've been scouring the library to find a cure for you. Rashid hasn't been happy with me staying there all day and sleeping on the books but he's finally come to tolerate me. I mean, we've spent a lot of time together, so he's gotten used to me despite the fact that I'm human. And I do think he likes me a little by now. He's not as cold as he was in the beginning and he sighs a lot less when I ask for a translation. And ..."

Lauren stopped in realization. "But I haven't even told you what was happening yet, haven't I? You don't even know who Rashid is, or what he is. You don't know what's happening because I didn't tell you. I came home that day and you were already unconscious. I didn't get the chance to tell you all about the Fae and where you are right now, and oh God babe, I'm so sorry." She was crying again, heavy, choking sobs that she tried to swallow as she tried to continue speaking. "I'm so sorry babe, I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry. It's all my fault, I know. I should never have taken you with me. I promised you adventure and this is what happens. You're in a fucking pod because I can't even find the cure for you! You're... you... Nadia, please... please...", Lauren finally broke down. She couldn't breathe anymore from her sobbing, let alone speak. She let her head fall on the cool pod and cried and apologized until she couldn't do either anymore.


	5. Beginning of her life with the Fae

13

After her big revelation and breakdown, Lauren gradually came to notice her new surroundings. She also realized that the Ash had made good with his promise. She had been allowed to immerse herself in finding the cure for Nadia and left alone. The other Fae must have been curious with the new addition to the Ash's staff but they haven't tried to bother her. Now that Lauren had accepted her reality, she was ready to face the world again and welcome their curiosity. She will never give up searching for Nadia's cure but she knew now that she shouldn't ignore the world too.

The Ash seemed to sense her new resolution and summoned her. His first real directive was for her to continue her study in medicine, but only this time in Fae medicine. He was assigning her to work with the medical staff, under direction of the Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Bertrand. Lauren fought the reaction to flinch at that statement. She didn't like Dr. Bertrand and vice versa. She knew it will be difficult but she didn't try to complain. Perhaps this was a test? A test of her loyalty or resolve. She would not fail.

xxx

It hadn't been easy, as Lauren had predicted. It was like med school and her residency years all at the same time. She was the lowest of the low. The most ignorant, insignificant person in the clinic. She had to study Fae biology (which was further complicated by the fact that there were literally hundreds of Fae order classifications) and at the same time, help in the clinic under Dr. Bertrand. Not to mention, finding the time to look for more clues on Nadia's ailment and its cure.

Lauren was not unfamiliar with the slight hazing that happens with new people in new places. She had felt it in med school and later when she was a mere grunt intern in the hospital. It was a way for newbies to prove themselves, for them to run the gauntlet only to emerge victorious and become confident of their abilities. The Fae had their own version of hazing but this time Lauren could feel that it was something that she will never fully conquer. Because it wasn't about her abilities but rather it was based on the fact that she was human and that was something she couldn't change no matter her efforts.

When she first came out of her self-imposed isolation, she had been surprised to learn that she was already quiet famous with the Light Fae. Not just inside the Ash's compound but in the general community too. She was well-known as the doctor who cured the blood fever. The Fae's reaction in general varied from disbelief to mild awe and respect. So she had that accomplishment under her belt and it helped reduce the general antagonism of the medical staff on having to work with a human equally. (The consensus was that at least, she was more intelligent compared to the rest of her kind)

She also had the Ash. It surprised Lauren to find him taking close notice of her activities. (Perhaps it shouldn't have. She hadn't met them yet but she knew she wasn't the only human servant the Ash owned. However, they were mostly related to business and entertainment industries. She was the FIRST human doctor and she dealt with the Fae directly, taking care of the most important thing - their health.) He didn't exactly hover, but she could feel his presence nonetheless. She was required to give him weekly reports and often he would call her over to his office, to go over general issues in the clinic. He never asked about Nadia or her efforts on that part, nor did he give her any sort of praise for accomplishments (not that there were many, at this point). On the flip side, he also never bothered to discipline her for her minor faux-pas with the Fae patients (that was a role Dr. Bertrand wholeheartedly embraced).

But despite the lack of any feedback from The Ash (her master, her mind would supply), she couldn't shake the feeling that she was constantly being evaluated. Strangely enough, this comforted her. For most of her childhood and school years, her parents (and various teachers) never bothered to hover over her studies and activities. They trusted her implicitly, that she would do her work properly and never cause trouble for anyone. At the time, it made her feel proud and trusted. She felt like an adult, and therefore couldn't really relate when her classmates usually complained of their parents unfairness (suffocating was the word often used).

The Ash felt like a benevolent Big Brother. She found his silent regard allowed her to almost relax her guard. If he was watching over her (and technically she was under his protection), she didn't have to constantly police herself. And although it was Dr. Bertrand who actually meted out the reprimands (and became her true teacher, instructing her in Fae lore and customs), Lauren found herself connecting to the Ash himself, in a deeper level. As she slowly got used to the thought of being his (his possession, his tool, his ward), she began to let go of the rigid rules she set for herself. While she will never lose her resentment for being a slave, Lauren found that at times, she could be content with her life.

Yes, her first year with the Fae definitely wasn't an easy time. But despite her hardships and her problems, Lauren found also found that she could still enjoy life. She was being introduced (and would gradually be accepted) to the Fae world. No other human (even if they were wards of the Fae like her) could boast of having her new knowledge. She alone was given almost unlimited access to the library and as a doctor, she alone was allowed a peek in the Fae's most intimate sides . Her notion of the world, and the science that explained it had to be reshaped and at times discarded, as she learned and discovered more of the Fae and their magic. She was intellectually challenged in a way she never had been before, and her brilliant mind reveled in the chance to stretch it limits and capabilities.

And in all of these things, Lauren never forgot Nadia, wouldn't let herself to ever forget her. She never stopped researching for a cure, albeit no longer frantically. She had a music system and a portable television installed in Nadia's chamber, just so she could be stimulated even if she is unconscious. (It had been widely regarded in the medical world that coma patients can hear and retain information they gleaned when they were sleeping.)

There were days when she'll visit Nadia and she'll share with her every exciting thing that she had done or had happened to her (like the time she met a Fury, a Harpy and a Muse all in one day). Those days she'll be focused on her work, on the science that she was rediscovering and redeveloping. She'll be almost happy. Other days, she couldn't make herself go to Nadia, couldn't even look at her in the monitor. Those days Lauren felt the guilt pile up in her until she felt almost physically sick. She hated herself for enjoying her "slavery", for failing to protect Nadia before from getting sick, for not being able to cure her after. She would resent Nadia and the Ash, both of which were the reasons she was a slave right now. She would be angry at herself and miserable with her emotions. Those days she wished she'd never taken Nadia to the Congo, never met the Fae. She wished she'd backed off when Nadia had warned her, wished she hadn't left Nadia that morning. Those were the worst days.

But fortunately, those days were also rare. Lauren was too rational to constantly wallow in self pity. Mostly, she balanced between the two extreme emotions. She knew that there was no changing the past and that it wasn't her fault that Nadia got sick. She would acknowledge that she was doing all she could to cure her and that she didn't need to blame herself for failing to do so (Lauren's reason will never fully win against this guilt, though). She knew too that the Ash wasn't to blame. He had offered a solution and it had been her choice to accept. As she began to learn of the Fae, she would know that he had been generous with her, and had been honorable in his bargain. She could appreciate her unique position with the Fae and most importantly, Lauren began to accept her life as it is.


	6. 1st year: Bound to the Rules

14

Even as a child, Lauren had liked rules. She liked having clear directions to maximize a result. That was mostly why she got into science (and had liked math as a kid). Aside from having natural talent for it, science provided her with a clearly defined method to arrive at answers. The elements have unique properties that distinguish them from each other and accuracy was a necessary part of experiments. She liked the certainty and order that science brought her and recently, despite her discovery of the existence of magic, it was still a big comfort for her.

So Lauren was usually good at following the rules. (It must not be said though, that Lauren lived a boring life. She liked rules but as in everything one likes, Lauren knew when to manipulate and break them. It's what made her an excellent doctor and competent diplomat. Nadia would often jokingly complain to her friends that Lauren was almost perfect. She couldn't pick a fight whenever she felt like it because Lauren rarely did anything wrong. And even if she did, Lauren always had a reasonable sounding response, making it hard to pin her slippery ass down.) It was this trait that let her adjust under the Ash's rule much easier than another human would otherwise.

The Ash's rule was simple: total obedience. Everything else was just details. For Lauren, the Ash demanded that she learn all she can of the Fae (a worthy but difficult endeavour) and for her to cut off all ties to humanity. The latter rule was almost redundant. Lauren never had Nadia's wide circle of friends. All she had were her parents, Ollie and her colleagues. After the Congo incident, she lost any desire to communicate with them as she became fully absorbed in solving Nadia's condition.

It was on her 7th month as the Ash's ward when she received her mother's email. It was a curious sensation that filled Lauren's body when she saw the familiar email address on her computer screen. It was a feeling of waking up to a hard slap, mixed with the jolt of fear upon missing a step on the stairs. Lauren felt surprise and guilt rush into her as she realized that not once in the seven months she'd been with the Fae had she thought of her parents and her friends. She vaguely recalled now what the Ash's attendant had explained when they had first been brought into the compound. A spell will be performed to ensure that the outside world forget that Lauren and Nadia existed. It was a fairly common spell used to hide the Fae from the humans. As Lauren understood it, the spell did not erase their existence, only hid it. A person upon thinking of Lauren or Nadia, would become distracted and forget them after a little while. Their mind slips over to something new and they do it without knowing.

When Lauren had signed herself over to the Fae, she accepted that she won't be seeing her family and friends anytime soon. She had also taken for granted that the Fae's magic would be absolute, so she let go of her old life with little difficulty. It allowed her to fully focus on Nadia, knowing in the back of her mind that she had no choice (or maybe more accurately, did not want to choose) and that her family would be ignorant and free of having to worry about her (them).

Lauren clicked on the email after she recovered from her shock. She was sure that it was a fluke right until she read the first line. It was from her mother all right. She asked how Lauren was (How is your work, how is the Congo? I have heard that it is a dreadful place dear, I can't imagine how you can live there. Still, I suppose you are doing good work helping the unfortunate ones. I'm really proud of you.) and proceeded to regale her with news of their social circle. After she read the email three times (checked the date it was sent, again and again), Lauren concluded that the magic failed. (It made sense if one regarded how the Fae became the content of myths and legends. Some humans must be immune to the magic and that was how the stories came to be.)

Her mother had also scolded her for not writing soon, but also graciously forgave her, citing an understanding of what her working conditions were right now (at this Lauren couldn't help but snort. If her mother only knew). Fortunately for them all, she and her parents had been mostly estranged since college and she brought home her first girlfriend. They weren't homophobic but her parents had strongly objected to the way her girlfriend casually cursed in normal speech and the fact that she mistook a coaster for an ashtray. They had been angry and severely disappointed at Lauren for her poor judgement in choosing a proper partner. (In her defense, Lauren was just 20 at the time, newly out of the closet and had a severe case of lust. However, this defense would no longer fly next year, when she brought another girlfriend home who got into a debate and fought a screaming match with her father over politics. After which, Lauren learnt her lesson and her parents never trusted her choice of partners again.)

They had never been a close knit family and the infrequent calls and emails between each other was the norm. It seemed that while her mother noticed the longer than normal gap between their emails, she hadn't thought it so strange. Lauren tentatively wrote a reply back because she hadn't actually thought that the message would go through. When it did, she felt panicked and elated for a couple of minutes before she could contain herself. The one small act had seemed so dangerous. She was still painfully aware of the Ash and her role in this world but this "rebellion" thrilled her too. Lauren was never one to break the rules so easily but she could understand better now why people did it often.

It made her feel powerful, to take control of her actions regardless of the consequences. Still, the feeling passed after a while and Lauren began to panic, sure that The Ash would know of her impudence. When days went by without his acknowledgment of her act (nor by Dr. Bertrand, who was still delighting in torturing her), Lauren relaxed again. It was a one-time thing then, a fluke that she was sure will never be repeated again.

Lauren promised herself not to do it again and she kept that promise, not even bothering to check her mother's charity website for any news of her. She kept it faithfully until another email came, this time from Ollie. And then another from her mother again and another from a hospital colleague. Lauren decided that where she was concerned, the magic had indeed truly failed. (Not on Nadia's though. She checked Nadia's old email address. There wasn't any new activity on it.) And she found that she couldn't stop writing back to her rediscovered human life. She reasoned that it was a small thing (after all, it wasn't like she was talking to them face to face) and that if she hadn't revealed anything about the Fae at all, it wasn't too bad. It was just somewhat comforting to reconnect and relearn that being human didn't always have to be a bad thing.

She kept the infrequent correspondence for a few months, taking care to be careful and discreet. She erased what evidence she could find in her computer and told no one of her secret. (The latter was actually moot because Lauren had no friends and was still pretty isolated from the Fae.) It only began to matter when her mother emailed her one day to tell her that her father had been in an small accident. There had been complications with his surgery and it was discovered that he was weaker and retained more damage than originally seen. He hadn't wanted to bother her but her mother felt that she should see him, just in case.

Lauren only took two minutes to make a decision. She had never been physically restricted in the compound and she used that now to her advantage. (There were guards on the compound but their main purpose is to discourage people from entering. Lauren had been out a couple of times before - mostly for light shopping and of course, that bad day she tried to drown herself in alcohol.) The hospital where her father was currently checked in was no more than 20 minutes away by bus and Lauren was there in no time. She wasn't really thinking at this point (she didn't even have a story on how she got here so quick when she was supposed to be in the Congo) only there was that niggling fear from what her mother had insinuated. That her father could die at any time? It was ridiculous. Her father was young, only 60. He hadn't even retired yet and she knew that he kept faithfully with his fitness regime in the club. He couldn't possibly die.

When Lauren had agreed to be the Ash's ward, she hadn't expected to be locked into the arrangement for years. When it became apparent that she was indeed stuck for now, she had concentrated on Nadia and somehow in her mind, the outside world was frozen or put in slow motion. She imagined that when she was finally able to cure Nadia, they will rejoin it and the world will become normal again. The characters will be changed, but it will be minimal. Lauren wondered now how she could be so stupid sometimes.

The nurse directed her to a private room which Lauren entered with silent dread. It was only hitting her now that she had apparently taken a decision to break the Ash's order: she has gone to see her family. Or not, her brain argued. She hadn't actually seen them yet. She could leave and no one would be wiser. She would delete her illegal mail, in fact, she would delete her whole email account and that way, no one would ever be able to contact her again. Lauren paused by the door as she pondered her choices. Before she could decide, she heard the sound of voices from behind the door. It was her mother and father, she realized. She remembered what her mother had written, that her father was in a somewhat critical state. Her hand was turning the knob before her brain actually caught up. And then Lauren was stepping in to receive the surprised but happy hugs of her family.

15

Lauren was gone maybe three hours while visiting her family. She told them nothing about the fae, or even of Nadia's condition. They hadn't even wondered why she was here, rather than in the Congo. For three hours, they basked in each other's presence. They chatted quietly when an idea struck them, watched the news from the TV and read the magazines her mother bought. When it came time for her to leave, Lauren hugged and kissed her parents and told them that she loved them very much. They had been a bit surprised by the impromptu declaration but had warmly returned the sentiment. (It was the last time that Lauren will see her father again.)

She was let back in the compound with no fuss and it seemed no one noticed her disappearance. Lauren was severely disabused of this idea when the moment she stepped in the building, Dr. Bertrand appeared, along with several other guards who quickly pushed her to her knees while effectively binding her hands behind her back. She yelped when her knees hit the marble floor hard and she struggled a bit when they were tying her up but she already knew that it was a useless gesture.

Dr. Bertrand didn't say anything to her. He only sneered a bit and looked to the guards. "Take her."

The guards each grabbed an arm and proceeded to drag her to the Ash's office. They weren't gentle and Lauren couldn't help but give out a small cry every time they yanked on her strained shoulders. When they got to the office, the Ash had been doing paperwork. The guards threw her in front of his desk and she crashed hard on the floor. There was no other sound in the room except her harsh breathing and the rustle of the Ash's clothing as he stepped towards her.

"Lauren."

She couldn't help but flinch at that. His voice was the same, but it held a darker tone to it. Lauren rearranged herself to kneel in front of him, even if it hurt her bruised knees, and kept her head bowed down.

"Look at me, human."

Lauren felt her head raise up involuntarily. The Ash had never called her human before. Had never truly tried to single out her difference in this way. What she saw made her throat tight with fear. Gone was the Ash that she was familiar with, the one with the passive but gentle face. His gaze had always been deep, steeped in power. This one's gaze was inhuman. Something incomprehensible to her mortal mind. "Tell me why you have disobeyed my order."

Lauren tried to swallow and spoke haltingly. "I... sir, my mother had emailed me. She said my father had an accident. He was weak. He wanted to see me. I... I thought he was dying. I had to see him. It's my father." She gulped heavily. "I had to see him." She took another swallow and then shook her head. "I didn't tell them anything. Not about the fae, not even about Nadia. They don't know anything, I promise." Lauren took a breath and finally, "I'm sorry sir." Then she bowed her head back, unable to continue gazing at his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"You have deliberately disobeyed me." The Ash paused at this but Lauren didn't try to interrupt. She had said all she could and now it was time to face the consequences. She was so very frightened but she had chosen this, she reminded herself. It was her family, her father. It was worth it.

"Human slaves who disobey the rules must be punished. Some are killed." Lauren flinched. The Ash continued. "You are a special type of slave, but even you are not above this law. You have defied my orders and interacted with your human family. You did this freely of your own will." The Ash paused again. His voice gentled a bit as he gazed at his young ward. "Why have you not asked for my permission first?"

At that, Lauren looked up at him again. "I didn't think to," she said, embarrassed. "I didn't think you would let me go, anyway. Would you?"

The Ash shook his head. "No."

At that Lauren slumped back down. She wasn't thinking earlier, but she somehow sensed that she would never gain his permission. Her only chance was to do it right then and there, without anyone being wiser to stop her.

"You left your mate here." Lauren blinked in surprise at the non sequitur. Then she realized the import of the statement and looked at him in horror. Nadia was her responsibility: she only had the Ash's protection while Lauren had the Ash's protection. Technically the Ash couldn't touch Nadia because she was still a free human, never having taken the oath Lauren did. But Nadia was vulnerable right now, she depended on Lauren for her life. If the Ash's protection was removed from Lauren, if he somehow chose to let her go, Nadia will die. The Ash did her a favor by giving her access to Fae knowledge, but in the end she was only human. She had proven her worth before by curing the blood fever, and she must always continue to prove her worth to the Ash. She realized that she had been too hung up with the label "slave" before. Lauren had failed to see the bigger picture here until now. She thought that the price she paid was having her freedom taken away from her when really that was only an incidental detail. She was being educated right now, (slowly and painfully by Dr. Bertrand, but receiving fine Fae education nonetheless) and prepared for her real service which will come later. Lauren slumped back further at this thought. She had chosen this, she reminded herself. She had chosen this but Nadia hadn't and she had to protect Nadia.

The Ash let her absorb that statement before speaking again. "You are very intelligent Lauren, I know you understand what I mean." He waited before she nodded and then said, "You will be punished with 20 lashings of the whip and a week in solitary." Then to the guards, he only nodded and they took Lauren away again, this time to the dungeons.

She'd never been to the dungeons before but Lauren quickly found out that it was no different from the ones she'd seen in movies. They descended deep into the building using an elevator and emerged in a stone hallway. There was faint electric lighting instead of torches that she'd expected, but it was still the same. The walls and floors were made of unpolished stone. The hallway seemed too narrow, triggering a slight claustrophobia in her.

The guards took her to a bare circular stone room and untied her hands, only to retie them again in front. They forcefully gagged her mouth and proceeded to strip her to her underwear, destroying clothes in the process. Lauren struggled and cried out at that indignity but it was no use. They didn't even blink at her efforts. They fitted a chain for her binds and slowly pulled the chain with a wall mechanism to raise her up until she was dangling off the floor. Lauren grunted at the pressure it put on her already aching shoulders. Finally, they left her alone.

After what seemed like hours, the door opened again to reveal a new person. She was extremely ordinary looking, Lauren noted, middle aged with hints of grey in her hair. She was wearing an ordinary shirt and skirt and if Lauren had seen her on the streets have been sure she was human. Except the person carried a whip in her right hand and Lauren knew that this was her Fae jailer. (Much later, Lauren will find out that she was a Poena, a breed of Fae that deals primarily with punishing the wrongdoers.) Lauren shivered at seeing it and bit her lip, unwilling to make a sound. The woman looked her up and down carefully and Lauren couldn't help the blush the spread from on her body. She was still very much aware that she was only in her underwear.

The woman chuckled, seeing her reaction. "Ah dear, don't worry you'll lose that sense of shame soon enough." She even had an ordinary laugh. Lauren blinked at her, and tried to speak making odd murmurs behind her gag.

"No, don't speak child. It's no use." The woman then produced a piece of paper and perused it carefully for a while before returning to her pocket. "So, human eh? Haven't had one of you in a while. Makes for an interesting change." She circled Lauren slowly and Lauren tried to follow her movement, turning her head as far as it can go. She gave a muffled yelp when she felt hands prodding at her body. She tried struggling away but it just caused another stabbing pain through her shoulders. The woman clucked her tongue and continued to talk. She seemed content to hear her own voice. "You're too thin. And pale. What's he feedin' you up there?"

She went back to face Lauren again. " This'll be harder for you, I think. Not much meat to soften the blow." She shook her head. "It says here 20 lashings, child. That you broke your promise to the Ash." She looked at Lauren keenly. "What did you do?" Lauren could only stare at her helplessly. The woman frowned, thinking. Then she said, "Did you go out to see some family?" Lauren couldn't make herself nod, but the woman read the answer from her face anyway. She nodded in satisfaction. "I see. That's what always trips you, humans. A sentimental bunch huh?" Lauren would've snorted at that if she could. She knew that Fae valued families and clans fiercely, more than humans do at times. But the woman was already moving and before Lauren could blink, she was gone from her sight. She would've turned her head to look around except the first lash of the whip hit her back.

She heard it first, the sound of air parting for the whip. It was a couple of seconds before she felt it and gagged or not, Lauren tried with all her might to scream the pain out. The woman didn't linger, she dealt the blows rhythmically, 2-and-3-and-4-and-5-and then a brief rest for a couple of seconds so all her nerves fully woke and protested ... and then she began again. On and on until Lauren cannot distinguish the pain of another lash and she could only give one long drawn out scream of pain. It was like someone had opened her up and dropped live embers in her bloodstream, where they traveled in her veins. She tried to scream again but there was no breath in her lungs. She could feel her body swaying, instinctively straining to get away from the pain but it was no use. She screamed when she could and bit her gag harder when she couldn't.

It seemed like hours, but it was probably only minutes. The hoist was lowered and she was left sprawled on the floor in a boneless bloody heap. Lauren wished she'd lost consciousness by then but it wasn't to be. The woman removed her bind and her gag and pushed her to her stomach, where she stayed exhausted and feeling a bit grateful for the hard floor, cool against the inferno in her body. The woman was speaking again and Lauren could faintly hear her commenting that only a couple would scar. There were footsteps walking away and Lauren closed her eyes for some respite. She opened them later when it felt like someone poured acid on her back, she managed another scream before completely passing out.

xxx

Lauren woke up to utter darkness. At first she thought that she hadn't opened her eyes, and then she thought she'd gone blind. But no, she could faintly see the outline of her hands but nothing else. She shifted a little and was brutally reminded of the pain in her back. It all rushed back to her and Lauren remembered. She was in solitary. Gingerly, she tried moving again and found easier mobility this time. She figured that she was on a bed and sat up slowly, every move stretching the painful wounds on her back. The doctor in her quickly catalogued her injuries, she remembered the pain and was sure that she had bled a lot. She couldn't truly touch her back without wanting to scream again but she thought that it felt a bit more healed. It must've scabbed over but then she wasn't sure how long she'd been in here. And there was something near the end, something liquid splashed on her back. Was it some form of antiseptic?

When Lauren was able, she tried standing up and proceeded to explore her jail like a blind person. She bumped into walls a couple of times, and hit her shins on a cold thing that she deduced was the toilet bowl. The room was otherwise bare. Exhausted by her tour, she felt her way back to the bed and slept some more.

xxx

It became apparent the next time Lauren woke up that this would be the norm for the next week. Utter darkness and silence. She tried to speak and call out to the guards, asking for the time but no one answered back. After a couple of minutes though, a small gap revealed itself on a wall and a tray was sent in with clothing and food and water. The gap was closed immediately before Lauren could say another word and she was plunged back into darkness. She made her way to the clothes slowly and was able to put them on after much struggling. (She was sure she'd torn a couple of the scabs on her back and had started bleeding again but Lauren was only grateful for the clothes and the warmth they provided) She ate the food quickly and tried to tell anyone who might be on guard that she was done eating. Again, she was ignored.

It became a routine. Three times a day (at least she thinks it was three times per day) the gap would open and her old tray would be taken out, while food would be shoved in. The food was either oatmeal porridge or bread. There was only a glass of water. If she felt hungry or thirsty at anytime, she had to wait for the next shift. While she waited, she doctored herself as best as she could. Lauren knew that her wounds were healing cleanly without signs of infection, and that she had developed a slight fever as her body strained to heal itself.

While it was hard to be cold and hungry and in pain most of the time, the thing that really bothered Lauren was the darkness and the silence. She endured it well enough on the first day as she got used to the routine but it quickly crept on her. She tried to sing out loud, make her own noise but it was no use. Her overactive brain was left with no stimulus and it slowly drove her mad. She paced the floors of her room, 2 steps to the right, and 2 back to the bed.

Still, she came to relish the pain it caused on her back if only because it distracted her from her dark thoughts. She thought of Nadia, and finally realized how their lives had become bound together. She had chosen to put herself as the Ash's possession but Nadia hadn't. And the Ash hadn't asked for her either. It was Lauren who held it now in her palms, who controlled Nadia's fate as surely as Nadia's had taken control of hers.

She found that it was too noisy in her brain. Lauren couldn't concentrate above the din. She felt trapped and paranoid and angry and so very scared. It was the latter emotion that almost broke her. She had been scared before, when she had found Nadia shivering and unconscious in their bed. And then again when she had signed her freedom away. But this fear was different. As much as Lauren had feared to lose her freedom, she had never doubted that the Ash would keep his promises. And she hadn't doubted at her ability to follow his rules. She never imagined that it would be her that would stray and fail to obey. That it was her actions that ultimately brought her to this place.

Lauren tried hard not to give in to her rising panic. She made her rational mind think other thoughts but the darkness and the silence seemed unbreakable and forever. In the back of her mind she tried to convince herself that the next meal was due, and the gap in the door would open bringing with it a glimpse of the light. Lauren really tried to wait for it patiently, she really did. It was just too much, more than her tired mind and body could handle at the moment. Finally after much pacing, she broke down and started pounding on the door, shouting to be released, to talk to the Ash, to Dr. Bertrand, to anyone please. She screamed herself hoarse and pounded with her fists until her muscles felt like noodles with the strain.

xxx

She must've fallen asleep amidst the crying and screaming. Lauren was stiff, having fallen to the floor. When she moved, she almost toppled the water and the food from the tray that had snuck in beside her. In the darkness, she ate almost mechanically, still stunned by the force of her emotions. It was one thing that she had found ironic. Since meeting the Fae, Lauren had seemingly become more human as she surrendered herself to her baser emotions. She had cried and screamed and lost control so many times now that the act of crying, once an uncomfortable experience, had become ordinary.

When she finished eating, Lauren laid down on her cot and slept again.

When she woke again, Lauren discovered that she was feeling calmer. It was a big relief and she could feel her muscles relaxing under their unconscious strain. The dark didn't seem too oppressing now and the silence was more comfortable. Her body still ached but her mind was free of fear and guilt. And so, she set it to good use. With no entertainment provided, no means to while the hours left in this hellhole, she let her mind wander. She started with what she knew best, the periodic table of elements, old chemical formulas, the part of the human body (this one occupied her for a long time as she began with the different systems of the body). And so on, eating when the food came and sleeping when she felt tired. When she'd exhausted that, she turned her mind on what she'd learned of the Fae.

Lauren found to her surprise that she'd learnt a lot already. She usually didn't have the luxury of time to ponder on her new knowledge, being made to work and study all the time by Dr. Bertrand. What little time she had left was dedicated to solving Nadia's illness. Right now, her agile mind freely perused the knowledge she gleaned from her 7 month study. It was more than enough to distract her. She spent the remaining time of her sentence reviewing all she knew of the Fae. If she wasn't able to cure Nadia, she could still use her mind to help other Fae. After all, hadn't she already acknowledged that that was her true purpose as the Ash's ward? She might as well start now.

It was like being back in the Congo again, applying her human skills to non-human subjects except she knew and understood more of the Fae now. In her dark cell, Lauren paced and talked to herself of the things she could do to improve Fae medicine, of the research she could conduct and most importantly, how all these things could help her with Nadia. (Always Nadia)

xxx

If Dr. Bertrand and the rest of the Fae in the clinic expected her to emerge broken, they were wholly disabused of this notion immediately. True, it was a different Lauren who came out of the dungeons. She had been timid normally, accepting the challenges set by Dr. Bertrand without faltering, but aloof and subservient. She accepted her low status in the hierarchy and did not protest when she was asked to do the menial, boring jobs.

This Lauren was the same, in but one way. She was no longer subservient. Somehow, her time in the dungeon gave her a weird sort of confidence and everyone could feel it. She stood straighter, looked the Fae in the eyes when she talked and became more outspoken of her opinions. It infuriated Dr. Bertrand but Lauren could see that he respected her too, however grudgingly. (Whether she liked it or not, Lauren knew him well by now. And although he was proud, he wasn't stupid.) She talked to Fae patients herself and they accommodated her, curious of the human in their midst. She conducted experiments, creating new medications and tweaking old formulas constantly, on her free time. When Dr. Bertrand protested (and he did, often and loudly), she took her findings to the Ash and let him decide. Mostly he agreed with Dr. Bertrand but sometimes, sometimes Lauren's will prevailed and it was always a sweet victory.

And while her research for Nadia had drastically slowed down, it hadn't stopped either. Lauren knew that as large as the Fae library was, what she sought was probably not in there. Still she wouldn't give up until she was sure of it. However, she could make discreet inquiries from other Fae too. (She didn't want everyone to know of Nadia's existence. In her heart, Lauren was still a very private person.)


	7. 2nd year: Of Dogs and Tricks

16

Lauren was on her way to the Ash's office to discuss the matter of their new patient. Since her punishment a year ago, she had only become more confident of her skills as a doctor. She and Dr. Bertrand continued to butt heads, but there was more than a measure of respect between them now. She still studied Fae lore under his direction, but he wasn't as condescending as he was before and heard her opinions without dismissing them immediately. As a result, the rest of the Fae treated her better too. They started to overlook her human status and instead she was seen only as Dr. Lewis. Somehow, word of how she handled her punishment had spread and they came to admire her strength. If she wasn't friends with the Fae, they at least became acquaintances. They trusted her as their physician and Lauren did not disappoint them. She cared for her patients genuinely and had learned to see them as individuals, not just Fae.

For the most part, it had become easier to study Fae medicine. Most of the Fae could pass for humans and their differences lied only in the extra genes or protein markers in their makeup. What was more challenging were the UnderFae, the creatures that stories were made up of. In this way, Lauren became an all-purpose doctor. In the human world, she was a general surgeon and was hoping specialise in infectious diseases. In the Fae world, Lauren took on everything, even veterinary work.

Which was why she was on her way to see the Ash today. One of the Light Fae had brought his _kyuubi_, a nine-tailed fox that was said to bring fortune. It had been listless and ill. There had been no other symptoms so Dr. Bertrand had suggested giving it a traditional energy drink, an infusion of herbs and shavings from a unicorn horn. Lauren had suspicions and wanted to conduct more tests before prescribing anything. Dr. Bertrand told her that it was unnecessary and a waste of time. Hence, the need for the Ash.

The ever present guards only regarded her with some amusement. It was now a long standing joke with the Fae living in the compound of her eternal battle with Dr. Bertrand. She gave them a brief smile in turn and knocked before announcing herself. The Ash told her to come in.

Lauren came immediately and was a bit surprised to find him with a guest. They were obviously finished with their discussion and was now shaking hands. In the meantime, Lauren studied the new Fae. She had never seen him before and she had seen a lot of Fae in her near two years with the Ash. The clinic was never without patients and since her "change", she had been allowed to tag along in home visits. The new Fae was a small man, and Lauren first thought he was a dwarf, only less brawny. Then she saw his face and while she idly noted that he didn't have the flowing beards that Dwarves were so proud of, her mind had started to wander.

When the new Fae finally turned to face her, an idea finally triggered in Lauren's head and she realized that she recognized him. With a stifled gasp, she quickly went down on one knee. It was a smooth move borne of constant practice. (The Ash wasn't one for rigid tradition, but after her stint in the dungeon, Dr. Bertrand had insisted on her groveling for a while whenever they were in the Ash's presence) Lauren didn't see it but the Ash had been surprised at her move. Instead she continued in her most solemn and respectful voice, "Hail to my Lord Ash, and hail to the Blood King of Eire."

At that, the Ash and the new Fae started in shock. They looked at each other quickly and then at the kneeling human in front of them. The Ash spoke first, "Rise child."

Lauren slowly stood up but kept her head slightly bowed. The new fae looked at her in bemusement but didn't speak yet. The Ash continued, "Child, what did you call Trick?"

Lauren looked up then. She heard the bewilderment in his tone and she grew confused. Did she get it wrong? She took a quick glance at the other Fae again. "Blood King, sir."

Finally, Lauren registered the confusion in their faces. Before she could ask, the other Fae spoke for the first time. "Why do you call me that?"

She looked at him. "I recognize you, sir, from a book in the library." Lauren hesitated. "Was I mistaken?"

The Ash looked amused now, "No child, but Trick no longer goes by that title. He has since given up the burdens of leadership for tending his humble bar."

Lauren blinked and stared at the other Fae. She remembered what she'd read of him, the Blood King, a powerful being that changed the course of history of the Fae. He stopped the constant warring of the Light and Dark and created their laws. Now he's what? A bartender, if she wasn't mistaken. "My apologies sirs, I..."

Trick smiled at her, a bit wary. "Pray give no thought to it any longer. I am Fitzpatrick MacCorrigan. You may call me Trick." He offered his hand.

Lauren looked to the Ash who gave no indication as to what she should do now. She looked back at the Blood King and shook his hand saying, "Hello... Trick. I am Dr. Lauren Lewis."

Trick's face changed to show another kind of surprise. "The human doctor that cured the blood fever! I have been wanting to meet you!"

Lauren blushed at that and couldn't say anything in return. Trick seemed to notice her embarrassment and spared her. He turned back to the Ash and said, "My business is done here." The Ash nodded at him. He looked back to Lauren and said, "Well met, Dr. Lewis. If you find time please visit me at my bar, The Dal Riata. It is near College and McCaul."

She nodded at that and watched him leave. When she turned back to the Ash, he was looking at her strangely.

"Perhaps it was too reckless of me to fully open the library to you."

Lauren felt her heart sink at that but she didn't let it show on her face. She stared at him impassive and patient. He gave another of those twitching smiles and said, "Nevertheless, it is done." He went back to his desk and sat down, gesturing for her to take a seat too.

He spoke again. "Trick had been our leader many centuries ago, but he has retired, as you humans put it. He has refused a seat as an Elder, but his counsel and alliance is still important." In rare cases, the Ash would explain something to Lauren of Fae politics. She didn't know why he did this but she always treasured these moments. Despite herself, she had grown fond of him and his strict but fair ruling. He was honorable and asked nothing of his people that he did not ask of himself. The Ash continued, "Trick is here now because a friend of his had come to start a new life. He is a wolf that had recently lived in Asia and Trick thought I might want a new enforcer."

Lauren had been surprised the first time she learned that almost every Fae she'd encountered had already lived for a couple of centuries or so. Fae families and clans kept their young close by and isolated for the first 30 to 40 years of their lives. There they are taught what it meant to be Fae and given a sense of family. When they come of age, they choose between the Light and Dark and regarded as an adult. Because they are extremely long-lived, she had also become familiar with how they cultivate various identities to prevent exposure from the human world. It was not so strange that Fae would travel all over the world as they lived out their identities.

She murmured something appropriate and he finally turned back to business. "Well, what is it this time?"

xxx

Lauren took Trick in his word and she visited the Dal Riata on a day off. She rarely ventured out of the compound for pleasure, even though the Ash had not forbidden her after her indiscretion. (From the very beginning, the Ash had always shown a deep understanding of her personality. He never needed to use brute physical intimidation to get her in line because he knew that Lauren came with her own ball and chain.)

She had heard of the bar before, from some of the patients, although she hadn't known that the owner and barkeep was the former Blood King. It was a way station for visiting Fae to register their names and alliances. Light and Dark Fae are welcomed with no bias and no violence was allowed. The bar wasn't full yet when she arrived, so Lauren allowed herself to dawdle and look around. It was a quaint place, giving off an impression of entering a medieval establishment. The woodsy decor was well maintained and she could also see no televisions or other man-made electronics to distract the patrons. There was only a pool table where some have already gathered.

While Lauren looked around her, her presence was also noticed by several Fae around her. Humans weren't allowed at the Dal, it was exclusive for Fae. Before any could approach her, Trick noticed her from the bar.

"Dr. Lewis! You came!"

At that, most of the Fae lost interest. If she was a guest of their patron, then that wasn't any of their business. Lauren made her way to the greet her host. "Well met, Trick. You have a lovely establishment."

Trick beamed at her. Lauren was a bit uncomfortable with his cheerful regard of her. It was an unusual reaction from a Fae who was neither a work mate nor a patient. "Thank you, doctor. Believe it or not, it takes a lot of work to keep this place running smoothly." Again, Lauren felt that disconnect in her to combine what she'd read of this man, to the real version in front of her now.

Trick continued, "Anyway, what can I get you?"

Lauren blinked at him and said, "Beer please. Whatever's in your tap is fine and, a menu would be nice."

"Beer and menu, coming right up."

The food and the drink were delicious and the general ambience of the place was comforting. Lauren gradually found herself relaxing as Trick chatted with her between his work. She had been to other bars after she put herself in the Ash's disposal (like that first bar near the compound where she got stinking drunk after her breakdown over Nadia), mostly for the meager attempt to re-connect with humans however superficially and be amongst her kind. It never really worked though. Lauren found herself looking at the humans, guessing which ones were hidden Fae. Then she'd get drunk and stagger back to the compound. This time, being surrounded by Fae at the outset, felt right. She would have laughed at this irony when a strange guy interrupted her musings.

"Trick! Fill us up again!" He was a tall guy, a hint of stubble in his cheeks and a slight Scottish accent. Lauren couldn't help but observe him. He brought with him a vigorous and cheery air, and from the lines forming under his shirt, he was also extremely fit and muscular. Her regard brought his attention. "What have we here then?" He gave deep sniff and gaped in surprise. "A human! In the Dal! Trick, a little mouse has sneaked past under your nose!" He was drunk and loud and everyone was looking at them now.

Lauren colored under the stares, but mostly she found herself irritated at this brash Fae. A mouse? Before she could defend herself, Trick went ahead and did it for her. "Dyson, my friend, this is Dr. Lauren Lewis. She is a ward of the Ash, and the creator of the vaccine against the blood fever. Dr. Lewis, my old and dear friend, Dyson Thornwood." He didn't raise his voice but it carried well across the room. Most Fae looked surprised to see her, but others had begun to smile and nod at her. Other Light Fae perhaps.

Dyson seemed surprised at this. "Truly?" Trick nodded at him. He gave her an assessing look that made her think he wasn't as drunk as she first thought. Then Dyson gave a large smile and said, "I have been away for too long, it seems! A human doctor owned by the Ash, I imagine old Bertrand is none too happy about this."

She heard it again, and there was no mistaking the tone of his voice. He didn't like her. Lauren wondered how she achieved that in the 1 minute and 36 seconds they've been acquainted. Was it because she was human? That she was, as he not so subtly implied, a slave? Maybe not, maybe he was just truly drunk. But something in Lauren made her want to retaliate and wipe that smug look in his face. "You are the wolf, I presume. The one looking for a job?"

That seemed to startle him and Trick. There was a beat of silence before Trick said, "The Ash confides in you." It wasn't a question but Lauren nodded. It was technically true although she won't tell them at he only does it with things he deems inconsequential.

Dyson recovered quickly. Still smiling, he gestured to Trick to fill up her glass. "Well, well doctor. I have missed a lot." By now, the people that had found them briefly entertaining had lost interest. No one was paying attention to them now. Dyson sat on a stool next to her. "Tell me, how did you figure out that I was a wolf?"

She thanked Trick when he came back with her drink and waited before he left to attend another patron before turning back to Dyson. "I didn't actually. I just assumed. You just have this... certain aura around you."

He smirked at her, "Is that your professional opinion Dr. Lewis?" The words might seem flirty but his eyes were hard. Nevertheless, she couldn't help but blush, realizing that she sounded like a hippy. In that moment, she disliked Dyson. She didn't care who he was before but he had a big chip on his shoulder and he was provoking her. It was probably a dominance game but Lauren wasn't about to back down either.

"Yes. I've had a couple of wolf patients before. They gave off the same impression." She eyed him coldly, as though he was only an interesting experiment. Dyson shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. "You're older than the ones I've encountered I think, but you give off the same energy underneath. A barely controlled restlessness. Like a puppy."

The last one hit its mark, Lauren saw. She felt briefly guilty and disgusted with herself for getting even but she didn't dwell on it. She was just defending herself. Before Dyson could say anything in return Lauren continued, "Plus you sniffed me when you first noticed me. And I recognize some of the markings from your armband."

He blinked at that, derailed from whatever he'd planned to say earlier. "I see. You're very observant Dr. Lewis." He took a wary sip of his beer.

Lauren gave him a half smile. "It's my job to be observant." Then she stood up and laid a couple of bills on the bar surface, "If you'll excuse me." Dyson stood up too and Lauren had to look up to him then. "It was nice meeting you, Mr. Thornwood."

Dyson took her small hands into his. For a moment she thought he would crush them, but he was gentle instead and to her surprise, gave her hand a courtly kiss. "Please call me Dyson. And the honor was mine." He straightened up to look her in the eye. "I apologize for my behaviour, Dr. Lewis." He gestured to his abandoned drink and gave her a lopsided smile. She thought he could be very charming if he wanted to. "I've not seen my friend Trick in a long time and the drinking has gone to my head, I'm afraid." Again that little bit of Scottish accent creeping in his voice. Lauren refused to be charmed. She could play this game too. She slowly took her hand away from his, making sure to let her touch linger. Then with a gracious nod to her head she, "I understand, Dyson. Please call me Lauren and accept my apology for calling you a puppy." Training her eyes to his torso, she murmured under her breath, oh so softly , "Because you certainly aren't." When Lauren lifted her eyes to his face, she knew that he heard her. And his smirk was back.

She fought a similar smirk from forming on her face and finally moved to leave.

They would see each other again at the compound when Dyson started his work for the Ash, but that first meeting set the tone for their encounters. Dyson was distrustful of her, and Lauren wary and irritated of his casual arrogance. In the meantime, Lauren would frequent the Dal more often when she had the urge to "socialize". There she found a unique relationship with Trick who was the only one among the Fae who genuinely considered and treated her as an equal.


	8. The Dark Fae

17

Meeting Trick (and Dyson) proved to be a turning point. Lauren had been largely confined in the compound by her own will but going to the Dal changed how much of the Fae saw her. For one, it made her seem softer and more approachable to her Fae patients (Lauren had been very surprised when she found out that most Fae saw her not just different, but untouchable. Both by virtue of the Ash's special protection, her awesome intellect and her tunnel vision regarding Nadia's cure). And secondly, it introduced her to the Dark Fae.

Lauren didn't come often but when she did, she found in Trick a friend. She had approached him for help on Nadia but like everyone else she'd asked, he had nothing new to offer. He offered his own small collection of books on healing for her research, but he really didn't have anything that she hadn't read before in the Fae library. A year ago, Lauren would have despaired at this news. These days, she was merely sad and uncomplaining. Her drive to cure Nadia had not disappeared, but she had accepted that it wasn't going to be as easy as combing through the library. She needed more clues to solve this mystery and the only way to do that was to talk to other Fae. She did, however, remained discreet. When she asked Trick, she had couched her inquiry as merely scientific curiosity.(In fact, that was how she had been portraying herself to curious Light Fae patients. When asked how she'd come under the Ash's service, she told them of her interest and passion for science and for solving the mystery of the Fae. As far as she knew, only the Fae living and working in the compound knew of Nadia. And they didn't really care for her existence to blab about it.)

When Trick hadn't been able to help, he had been genuinely sorry about it. He had offered to buy her a meal and that's when it started. They began talking and as Trick realized that she was already well-read of Fae literature, he had delightedly engaged her various Fae topics. Their favorite was Fae history, and Lauren loved to get a firsthand account of the events through Trick's ancient eyes. (For all the time they've spent together, Rashid the Sphinx librarian, did not care to debate the finer points of history with Lauren.) Sometimes, Dyson would join their conversation and he brought with him a new partner named Hale (whom she'd already met in passing at the compound). Hale was a siren and also a police officer (Dyson's new job) tasked to keeping the Fae crimes hidden from human public.

For her part, Lauren both enjoyed and disliked it whenever Dyson (and Hale) crashed her conversations with Trick. She enjoyed the social aspect of it, of getting to eat and drink with people she knew and have decent conversations with them. She had been alone for too long and considered these circumstances as a nice treat.

She disliked it because of Dyson. Dyson loved to provoke her, or at least try to. (She was too controlled to ever truly lose her temper) He was polite and charming at times, but his words always contained subtle barbs designed to prick her. He didn't trust her, that much was certain and he enjoyed being annoying.

Lauren gradually realized that his mistrust was rooted in her relationship with the Ash and that he was wary of her motives for "joining" the Light Fae out of scientific curiosity. (He hadn't known of Nadia yet and it hadn't helped when Hale had told him that she was a lesbian and wasn't actually flirting with him that first day) Whenever she felt petty, she would use her most dispassionate voice and calmly dissect any Fae topic that they would be talking about, as though it were only a science experiment. Dyson would clench his rugged jaw (he was always so stubbly, which Lauren put to his wolfy-ness) and glare at her. If she kept it up for long, he'd leave soon enough. Hale would try to mediate but Trick only looked at them amusedly, as though they were bickering children. (It was an apt metaphor too)

Sometimes, she couldn't dislike Dyson at all. He was an old Fae, and wise to the world. He was well traveled, intelligent and he could be very charming (as she had already suspected). The problem was the difference in their personalities. In many ways, Dyson was like Nadia: honest and brave. They were not afraid to face the world and to take what they want from it. They didn't hide their emotions and they weren't afraid to get hurt in the process. And while Lauren admired these qualities in Nadia, they only infuriated her on Dyson. She had changed since Nadia's illness. Although she had definitely grown as a doctor and scientist, she had also learned how to violently lose control of her emotions and in turn, learn to guard it better. It was a necessity to survive living with the Fae. Being with Dyson was just an unpleasant reminder of the past, and akin to rubbing against sand paper.

Dyson didn't trust her loyalty to the Ash. He didn't like that she had his confidence (not really though, not yet, despite what Lauren had implied before) and that she gave only a few, general details when speaking of her past from before she joined the Light Fae. (He thought she was hiding something. She was only being her private self.) On Lauren's side, she was envious of his freedom. He was Fae and a strong warrior as well. He wasn't afraid and did not have to constantly prove himself to anyone. Whatever ties that bind him, he freely chose and was not a leash to choke him.

But whatever her interactions with Dyson brought, she also had Trick and Hale to balance them. Thankfully for Lauren, he didn't interrupt often.

Sometimes too, other Light Fae would come join her, wondering and curious. She was friendly with them, and they with her and it helped her see them as people, not just medical cases to be solved or treated. For their part, they liked seeing her out of the lab. They trusted their Ash to take care of them, and if he thought that a human doctor would be competent enough, then they wouldn't complain (at least, not a lot and not for long). But it reassured them too, to take a measure of their new doctor outside her territory. So they tested her subtly and carefully (it wouldn't do to scare her, she was under the Ash's _direct_ protection) and for the most part, they came to approve of her.

All these Lauren found in the Dal. And something else found her there too.

The Dark Fae.

Lauren had been aware of their presence and was curious enough to wonder and compare them to the Light Fae. What she wasn't aware of was their interest in her. For them, she had seemingly come out of nowhere. A human slave of the Ash was nothing to talk about, but a human doctor that had cured the blood fever? Was it true? Where had she come from? And why had they only heard about this now?

If Trick had been aware of the whispering that followed Lauren whenever she came to his bar, he never told her about it. In hindsight, he probably should've but even Trick's knowledge has its limits. And at any rate, the knowledge itself probably wouldn't have been any help for what happened later.

xxx

It had been raining all day, and there was still a slight drizzle when Lauren came out of the Dal. The air was turning nippy as they headed for fall season, but for now her light jacket was enough to keep the cold out. It was 3 blocks to the nearest subway station and she enjoyed these slow walks after a night in the Dal. It allowed her to gather her thoughts on what she and Trick had discussed, or sometimes to just let it wander, lazy and sleepy from the drinks she had. Tonight was one of those latter moods. She was humming softly, not paying too much attention to her surroundings as her body moved automatically.

All of a sudden, Lauren stopped and blinked. Her mind was struggling out of its lazy state as she tried to see clearly. There was a person, about 10 meters from her, a woman in dark clothing. But what truly caught her interest was the identity of this person.

"Nadia?"

The strangled name somehow made its way out of her blocked throat. She wiped impatiently at the soft droplets on her face, sure that she was dreaming. The vision didn't disappear and Lauren could see. It was her. Nadia. After two years, she was here alive and well. She couldn't believe it.

"Nadia?" Her voice was a whispered plea but somehow Nadia heard. She smiled at Lauren. Lauren had to gasp, to take much needed air in her stricken lung. It was her! She recognized that damnable, smug smile. The same smile that she had when they first met, when Lauren began to fall for her. Lauren almost tripped when her body made an involuntary decision to lunge at her girlfriend. She caught herself in time and began to walk towards Nadia, slow at first and then outright running.

Nadia too had begun to move, walking away.

"No, wait, babe!" Lauren cried out when Nadia turned a corner. Panting, uncaring of the splashing mud on her pants, Lauren could only run harder. She skidded on the corner and almost fell when arms caught her waist. Lauren turned to her rescuer and couldn't utter a word. It was really her. Her Nadia. Thoughts on how she got here and why she's awake disappeared as Lauren basked in her love's presence.

Her arm lifted itself without direction, touching Nadia face gently. "Babe..." her voice was thick, her face wet with rain and tears. Nadia smiled at her again, and said, "Gotcha."

"Will you stop hogging her! I want my turn!"

Lauren was startled. Nadia had released her by now and she saw that there was another person in the alley they were in. A man, also in dark clothing. He was young, not yet thirty, with black hair, blue eyes and hint of stubble in his cheeks. He was the one who spoke.

Bewildered by the turn of events, she let Nadia lead her to the other man. He was taller than her by a foot and looked down at her in amusement. "So, you're Dr. Lewis?"

She didn't answer him, turning to look back at Nadia.

Who was gone, replaced by another man. He was older, with slight Asian looks and about her height. He had brownish hair and black eyes. "Babe?" the question came out of her, soft and confused.

The man with brown hair laughed at that. "Sorry Dr. Lewis. Your babe's not really here." Then before her eyes, he changed into Nadia's face. Horror bloomed in her as she realized the deception. She felt sick and clammy, her heart a heavy boulder inside her chest. "You're Fae."

Still wearing Nadia's face, he grinned. It was an ugly grin too, unnatural and abhorrent in Nadia's kind face. "Yup. Caught on finally huh? I'm _mujina_. Albie over there is a vampire. We're Dark Fae, doctor and we've heard a lot about you."

She couldn't concentrate. That beloved face saying these strange things. Her mind struggled to come up with an answer but at the moment, she could only gesture at her... his face. He seemed to understand though and gave another of those grins. "Neat talent huh? I don't even know who this woman is, but that's part of the my package doctor. I reflect your heart's desire."

Albie laughed behind her, a malicious laugh that made the hair behind her neck rise. She took a step backwards so she could see them both. "Why? Why did you do this?"

Albie answered her, shrugging. "Why not? We don't need a reason to play with humans, human." The _mujina_ took a large step closer to her, crowding her towards a building wall. "I think she meant, why her?" He looked at Albie, and then at her. "Because doctor, you're something else aren't you? A human doctor of the Fae? What's that old gnarly tree up to?"

Lauren realized that he meant the Ash. Before she could say anything, Albie came up to her and grabbed her right arm hard. She flinched and knew it would bruise. "Never mind that. You're here because we wanted you here. No need to bother your human head about it, yeah?"

She pulled away from him and he let her go, amused. Her arm already ached but she ignored it. "I'm under the Ash's protection. You can't hurt me."

They laughed loudly at that. Lauren didn't know what was worse. The creeping fear or the fact that the _mujina_ was still wearing Nadia's face as he leered at her wickedly. She stumbled backwards, shocking herself with the feel of the wet, hard wall on her back. "Stop it." She said to the _mujina_. "Change back!"

He stepped closer until their faces were almost touching. Despite herself, Lauren's heart leaped up. To be close to Nadia after so long, she didn't know what kind of magic this is, but she could swear that he/she even smelled of Nadia's familiar perfume. The illusion was broken when the _mujina_ waggled his tongue obscenely, catching her in the upper lip. With a cry of disgust, Lauren pushed away from the wall and slapped him hard.

He stumbled back at, bent over to catch his balance. When he straightened up, he wore his own face and it contained an angry snarl. He lunged at her and with a move too quick to follow, he backhanded her face. Lauren's lip split open and she staggered back, bracing her body on the wall behind her. The pain finally cleared her head from its confusion and misplaced longing. Fear poured in, but so did adrenaline and she had a clearer idea of the danger she was in right now.

She wasn't sure what the Dark Fae had in plan for her, but she knew that they wouldn't just let her go. They will kill her and disguise it as an accident to prevent any retribution. She didn't think she could slip away from them right now, with her head still ringing from the blow and if she screamed, she wasn't sure if anyone would rescue her. There weren't many people out there at this time of the night. She tried to think if she had any weapons on her, but there was only some bills and change, a couple of pens and her phone. She knew she would never be swift enough to dial for help.

"Bitch!" When Lauren finally surfaced from her thoughts, she saw that they were both staring at her right now with hungry faces. The _mujina_ still looked angry but it was less than before. He had some blood on his mouth and she realized he must've bit his tongue when she slapped him. It filled her with a sense of satisfaction.

The _mujina_ again. "She hit me first, Albs, you saw it?"

"I saw it," the vampire agreed. "And you've bloodied her too." His gaze was trained on her split lip. He gave a deep sniff and a small shudder of satisfaction. "Fear and blood. My favorite combination." He grabbed her again and in a swift move, pulled her close to his body and bent his head to bite her neck. Lauren had a quick inane thought on why vampires always go for the neck, and decided it was a stupid question because her carotid artery was probably signalling to him like a flashing neon sign. Then all thoughts were replaced by pain. Red flashed beneath her eyelids as she automatically tried to jerk away, stopped by his firm grip on her neck and torso. His fangs were sharp, but they were fat and thick and he buried them all the way in.

It was nothing like anything the vampire novels said it would be. There was no desire, or heady sense of euphoria. There was only the aching of her punctured skin, the smell of her blood and the icky feeling of something sucking on her. She could feel herself grow dizzy as blood that was meant for her brain was sucked out instead. She could also feel her pens crushed between their chests uncomfortably. It triggered a crazy idea.

Albie wasn't trying to drain her, so after a few sips, he let go a bit. It was enough room for Lauren who quickly grabbed the pencil from her front shirt pocket and pushed him, them to the floor. He yelled in shock and as they fell, she positioned the pencil as best she could to stab him. A crazy move, and an even crazier result as she felt the pencil go in, not breaking as she feared, forced by her body weight. Albie would've pushed her but he was in an awkward position. And as the wood lodged itself in his heart, there was nothing else he could do.

He didn't explode into dust, like Buffy's vampires usually did, but Lauren knew that it would render him paralyzed. As she caught her breath from the fall, the _mujina_ who had first laughed at Albie's "clumsiness" got impatient and pulled her up.

"Albs, what're you doing, napping there. You're such a kl... Albie?" He stopped, noticing the Albie's frozen face. Lauren edged away.

"Albie, what's wrong with you?" He bent down to shake his friend and finally noticed the pencil sticking up a bit. It had lodged itself almost completely in. With a disbelieving look, he finally turned to the human that had already reached the street. He would've grabbed her again, but Lauren finally chose that moment to scream.

She screamed and screamed as she watched him panic and quickly shoulder the vampire's body to escape. She was still screaming as he disappeared from her sight and people finally came to help.

xxx

Lauren quickly got rid of her "rescuers" with a quick story of a high-jumping biting rat and hurried home. The adrenaline was quickly leaving her system and she needed to be home before the full shock set in. The people in the subway stared at her, until she realized that she was still slightly bleeding. She rummaged in her pockets and found a tissue with the Dal's logo on it. She used it to wipe a few of the blood away, and to cover the gaping holes.

When she reached the compound, the guards took one quick look at her before they dragged her to see the Ash. By this point, her body was nearly crashing. She was dizzy, icky and tired. She gave a small protest but they ignored her. They didn't manhandle her this time, but quickly shepherded her. It was some time before Lauren realized that they weren't going to the Ash's office but to his private rooms.

There was another guard by his door but he took one look at Lauren (and her guards grim faces) and he was knocking at the door. While they waited for the Ash, the guard by the door stepped closer to Lauren. "Are you alright, lass?" His name was Orwin, an Ogre Fae who had been the first to befriend her outside the Faes she worked with in the clinic. He had been very amused with her on-going battle with Dr. Bertrand.

Lauren smiled at his concern and nodded. "Just tired." Before she could add anything else, the Ash was calling for them to come in.

The guards followed her slowly, hovering as though they thought to catch her if she stumbled. Lauren was swaying a bit but she didn't fall. She entered the Ash's rooms slowly and felt awe and curiosity upon seeing it. It was bigger than her own of course, and it was only the living room area. The furniture was simple and tasteful. There were framed pictures and odd knick knacks as decoration. The Ash himself was standing in the middle of the room, his usual calm self. If he hadn't been wearing his robe, Lauren would never have thought that he had been roused out of sleep. She felt a slight guilt about that and bowed a bit deeper. She overbalanced and the guards caught her, holding her between them in support.

The Ash looked at her carefully, noting her haggard appearance, her cut lip, the bloody napkin stuck on her neck and the blood stains on her shirt. He didn't say anything, but he came nearer to remove the napkin. It was stuck, and when he pulled gently at it, she hissed softly at the sting and felt the wound open again. Then Lauren blinked when the Ash touched her again, running his fingers on her collar bone, her necklace, she realized. He lifted it up and she could see the familiar symbol, speckled with her blood. Gently, he released it and stepped back.

When she looked at his face, it was hard and angry. For a brief moment, Lauren was scared again. She remembered that other time the guards brought her to him. She remembered too what the _mujina_ had said, that she hit him first; offered first violence. Would he punish her for that? She lowered her eyes, unable to meet his gaze. But when he spoke, his voice was gentle. "Sit child and tell me what happened tonight."

The guards led her to an arm chair and stepped back, while the Ash sat on his sofa. She told him everything she remembered, from spending time at the Dal playing darts with other Light Fae acquaintances (its why she had that pencil: for scoring. She had absentmindedly pocketed it when she finished), seeing Nadia, the Dark Fae cornering her, her crazy scheme that she still couldn't believe had worked - everything up to her arrival at the compound. The Ash listened patiently, his face never betraying his thoughts. When she was done, he nodded. "Do you still need medical attention?"

She shook her head. "No sir, just a bath and sleep. The wound's pretty much closed now."

At that he stood up and she followed suit. "Then take your rest now child. I will see you in the morning to discuss this further."

She nodded and with a shallower bow, she left. The guards followed her to her room where she thanked them softly and they wished her good night. Lauren immediately took a quick shower, eager to get rid of the lingering touch of the Dark Fae on her. Somewhat revitalized after, she headed to the clinic and attended to her wound. It was clean, she noted and while it opened again from her shower, there was only slight bleeding. She patched it up easily and then headed to the pod chamber.

Lauren gazed at Nadia's sleeping form inside the pod for a long time, memorizing her features. She wanted to reassure herself that this was the real Nadia. That Nadia had been safe here all along, sleeping her long sleep. To her dismay, Lauren found that she had a few more tears to shed tonight as the emotional shock finally hit her. She didn't say anything though, just struggled to see Nadia's face through the glass and her tears.

xxx

Lauren woke up with a slight headache but otherwise feeling fine. She took a shower, changed the dressing for her wound and had a quick breakfast before heading to the clinic. She would've started her day as usual but her Fae colleagues had seen the bandage on her neck and was curious. Like with her "rescuers", she tried to brush it off as an accident but they were unusually pushy today. One of the nurses finally let on that she'd heard from one of the guards on duty last night.

Lauren was finally forced to tell the entire story to a captive audience. She hadn't wanted to share it in the first place, because she had this vague idea that they'd blame her for what happened. As it turned out, the Fae were actually indignant on her behalf. There was a vague discussion that began on what they thought the Ash would do and before it could erupt into a full debate, Dr. Bertrand came to shoo them away to do their jobs. Lauren was about to follow suit when to her surprise, he stopped her.

"Let me see the wound."

She thought of protesting but decided against it. With Dr. Bertrand, it was better for her to choose her battles. He stared at the bite on her neck for a while before giving a grunt. She took it to mean that he found no fault in her patching skills.

"You say you stabbed the vampire with a pencil, eh?"

She stiffened, expecting criticism but he wasn't done surprising her yet. With a small smile, he ruffled her hair like she was a child. Lauren sat still in shock, unable to form words. "Seems like you've learned something after all. You're not that hopeless, I guess." His smile grew to a smirk as he watched her shocked face. He turned to leave, but he had one last parting shot. "Of course, you've had me as your teacher. And we all know I'm the best there is."

At that, Lauren scowled. There was the arrogant doctor she knew and hated most days. But when she turned away, she couldn't help but smile too. Dr. Bertrand might be an arrogant prick most days but he wasn't stubborn to be spiteful. He recognized her work (however unwillingly at times) and drove her to be better than she could be. He was her most difficult teacher, and the best one she'll ever have too. It was infuriating.

xxx

It was near lunchtime when the summons came. A guard came to escort Lauren to the Ash's office and she felt another tinge of apprehension. It didn't help that the guard's presence sent the clinic into a tizzy. She was grateful that Dr. Bertrand stopped the hushed whispering quickly with a few well aimed glares. He gave her a glare too for good measure and she found herself grateful for it.

When they got to the Ash's office, the door was open and there were no guards on it. She stepped inside gingerly, and saw the reason why. In the room were the Ash, his guards and some guests. A beautiful woman in expensive, stylish clothing with her own guards was standing in front of him, and the air was tense. The Ash saw her come in and gestured for her to come closer.

"Dr. Lewis, I would like you to meet the Morrigan. She's the leader of the Dark Fae." Startled, Lauren paid more attention to the other woman. She was wavy brunette, with piercing amber eyes. They were probably the same height but the Morrigan wore ridiculously high heels and everything about her spoke of class and danger. Her beauty was that of a well made blade, cold and sharp. "This is my human doctor, Lauren Lewis."

The sharp stare raked through her like a spotlight beam. Lauren felt naked under her gaze and fought not to show her discomfort. With a little smirk, the Morrigan said, "Charmed." She turned back to the Ash and they seemed to continue a previous discussion. "Anyway, you know I can't do that. I can't just give them to you like that." She looked back at Lauren, "And on a human's say so too."

"I believe her. And I want the fae that assaulted her to be brought under my justice."

The Morrigan began to pace, her irreverent smirk fading. "I hear ya big guy, but I can't just give them to you..."

"If you don't, I will move to take them myself."

The Morrigan stopped dead and looked at him incredulously. "Outright confrontation! Are you crazy? You're willing to risk war over this?" She gave Lauren a glare. "Over a stupid human?"

Lauren jumped in shock when the Ash raised his voice. He was usually so mild and calm that she never thought he could lose his cool. "I will not be forsworn!" With a glare of his own, he pinned the Morrigan under his terrible gaze. "The doctor was under my protection and they both knew it!" With a visible force of will, he calmed himself to continue in his normal tone. "You do not need such stupid fae anyway."

Morrigan seemed to recover from his outburst and continued her pacing. "I didn't say they weren't stupid. They should've at least made sure to kill her so she couldn't tattle." She said this so casually too that Lauren couldn't help but shiver faintly in fear. The Morrigan raised an amused eyebrow in her direction before turning back to the Ash.

"Very well, I'll see to their punishment myself."

"Not enough. Their lives are forfeit and you know it. I want them brought to me."

The Morrigan threw her hands in frustration. "You know I can't allow that!" They exchanged glares again before the Morrigan stepped back. "Fine, I'll kill them myself." She raised a hand when the Ash made to speak again. "You can watch while I torture and kill them, but I can't give them to you. That's my last offer."

A beat and then the Ash nodded. "Very well. Call me when you have them."

"I will."

Now that the haggling for Fae lives were done, some of the tension dissipated. The Morrigan looked coldly amused again. "I knew it." She smiled fully, dimples showing. Despite her fear, Lauren felt a tingle of attraction for the beautiful fae. She struggled to ignore it. The Morrigan stepped nearer to the Ash and his guards were quick to put themselves before him. "I knew you still have it in you. That underneath that suit, and all the laws you are so quick to uphold, you're still that savage warrior from the wars. You haven't lost that blood thirst at all, just repressed it."

The Ash made no comment. The Morrigan looked to Lauren again. "You must be very special doctor, to be held in such high regard." She paused for a bit and then, "My condolences over your girlfriend Dr. Lewis... Nadia wasn't it? Nadia Jamison. I'm sure you're doing everything you can for her."

Lauren couldn't help the faint gasp that came out of her. How? She looked to the Ash but he didn't seem surprised at the Morrigan's knowledge. Did he tell them? The Morrigan seemed to read her mind, "He didn't need to tell me doctor. Don't you know? The Fae community is a small one, we're in everyone's business."

She knew that was true, but not the whole truth. The Morrigan had spies (no doubt the Ash had them too) and Lauren had become interesting to her. This was a warning of sorts. She nodded and cleared her throat, "Thank you for your concern my lady. The Ash has been kind to us both."

The Ash spoke then. "We're done here."

The Morrigan was still looking at Lauren. She snapped her fingers and one of the guards produced a silver card holder. She took one of the cards and offered it to her. Lauren looked to the Ash first but he was still his impassive self. She took it reluctantly.

"If you ever feel that the big guy here can't fulfill your needs, contact me. I'm sure we can find a place for you and Nadia."

"Go." The Ash voice brooked no argument.

"Gone babe." With a last smirk and wave of her fingers, the Morrigan left. Lauren slumped tiredly, unaware that she had been holding herself taut the whole time. Then she remembered that she was still in the Ash's presence and that she was holding the Morrigan's card. She dared not look at it now.

"I..." she gestured at the card hesitantly and moved to give it to him.

He only gave her a small look before waving her away. "Keep it if you wish to. You are dismissed."

Stunned at the turn of events, Lauren managed a small bow and left quickly. But instead of heading towards the clinic, she went to her rooms instead. There she collapsed on her sofa and finally managed to read the Morrigan's card. It was an innocuous piece of paper declaring that Evony Marquise was a talent agent, along with her office and email addresses and the phone and fax numbers. There was nothing else to indicate that Ms. Marquise was a powerful Dark Fae leader.

Lauren decided to keep the card and put it away for now. What truly occupied her thoughts was the event she had just witnessed. She knew that she was under the Ash protection. She acknowledged his ownership of her every time she saw her necklace (which she now wore every time to avoid Dr. Bertrand's lengthy lectures about it) But it was different just knowing to actually feeling that protection on her. She knew that he was doing it to avoid being forsworn of his promise, that it wasn't really about her, but her stupid feelings felt otherwise. Ever since that time the Ash punished her for breaking the rules, she had been wary of him and of his power over her. She stepped lightly, eager not to cause any more offense. This time, she felt the other side of that power. She was protected, and that idea eased something in her. The Ash was her master, but he wasn't an overly harsh one. He was fair and honorable as he could be and that meant a lot.

This is what it meant to be owned by the Ash. Somehow, it's not so bad anymore.


	9. 3rd year: The Light Fae's Human Doctor

18

It wasn't long after this time that the Ash began to take her with him on his frequent trips. He always had a busy schedule, and part of it was flying off to different places to visit and check on various fae clans all over the world. Most of the time, he took Dr. Bertrand with him as part of his general entourage. (Lauren had looked forward to those days, which was almost vacation time for her) Now Lauren too had to tag along.

While she was disappointed to lose her "free days", the travel part made up for most of it. The Ash traveled extensively all over the world. He usually dedicated international travelling during the winter times and over the course of season, Lauren was able to visit various countries in all the continents. Sometimes they'd let her go for a few hours to take in the sights and it was a lovely perk that she appreciated. It would have been perfect if Nadia had been with her. (But she wasn't. So Lauren never took pictures of the places she'd been, not wanting for Nadia to feel left out when she finally woke up)

It wasn't actually a pleasure trip for Lauren. Although there was never much required of her during the trip, she knew that this was part of her training too. To learn and experience the fae as she couldn't from the books and scrolls of the library. And it took a while, but she realized too that she was being paraded by the Ash as his pet human doctor. She was an exotic creature that drew everyone's curiosity and regard. The Ash was seen as "progressive" for taking a chance on a human and "wise" for nabbing her talent (she was still introduced as the doctor who cured the blood fever). Lauren didn't mind being treated as a prized trophy/pet, because almost everyone came to her. Elders and commoners alike, they were all interested in her. It provided her with an opportunity to talk to fae that would normally not deign converse with a human. And she talked to everyone she could, and asked all of them of what they knew about Nadia's symptoms.

For the Light Faes' part, they generally liked her. For a human, she was charmingly respectful, soft spoken and clearly intelligent. She also had a way of phrasing her questions in a way that flattered the fae of their intelligence. So they indulged her questions and answered what they could. Unfortunately, they didn't have much to add from what she'd already gathered. Still, Lauren relished the chance and was grateful for the Ash's tacit permission. It was probably part of him honoring his original bargain too, to provide resources in assistance with Nadia's condition.

And really, for all that she was a human slave of the fae, Lauren could sometimes admit to herself that she truly cared for her master.

xxx

Five months after Lauren "celebrated" her 3rd anniversary with the Light Fae, Dr. Bertrand announced his retirement. To say that Lauren was shocked would be a massive understatement. Especially when he named her his successor as the Ash's Chief Medical Officer and no one objected to the proclamation. Although technically, Dr. Bertrand wasn't "retiring" but only transferring to another place. He had always been asked to head the Light Fae's main hospital in Europe, (this is where the serious and long term illnesses usually end up in, as the clinic's too small to hold them all) but he had preferred his position with the Ash. Apparently, now he believed that Lauren was "ready" to take on his mantle and he could offer his services to others that need him.

He left with much fanfare (and with a snarky comment or two, directed at Lauren of course). For all his bad attitude, he had been a brilliant doctor and his staff would miss him. And yet when Lauren tried to give his position back, they stood firm in their decision. They bid him a proper good bye and gave Lauren a cheerful welcome.

It was a heady feeling that filled her with a deep sense of satisfaction. All that hard work had finally borne fruit. In what seemed like a blink of an eye, the insignificant human was now the head of the Ash's medical team. She deserved it all too. Lauren worked hard for all of it (Dr. Bertrand wouldn't have accepted anything less than her best) and not only that, she improved continuously. She went beyond what she was taught, experimented and perfected old formulas and ways to further improve the quality of care in the clinic. So for the next couple of days after her promotion, Lauren floated on a cloud of happiness. Because not only did she deserve her position, the fae themselves acknowledged her merit. The Ash himself stood by Dr. Bertrand when he announced his decision. She was finally recognized and accepted as equal to fae in terms of abilities.

Lauren's celebratory mood ended earlier than she would've preferred. (For her actual celebration party, Trick bought her a meal and dedicated a round at the bar in her honor) As the new CMO of the Ash, her workload has nearly tripled in size. Unfortunately, Dr. Bertrand took his secretary with him and it took her a couple of weeks before she was able to decipher his system. Still, she wasn't about to let herself be beaten by a messy filing system after all she'd been through. Lauren established her own system, hired her own fae secretary (and wasn't that a trip? Her very own fae underling) and proceeded to do the best job she could. (She wouldn't put it past Dr. Bertrand to make his threat come true and take back his position if he heard that she was slacking off)

xxx

Her first month as the official CMO brought a case of a teenage fae suffering from a persistent cough. After a simple test, Lauren discharged the fae with a cough medicine and strict instructions to follow. A few days later, he was back along with his mother. His cough had settled but he had developed a sort of rash in his limbs. Lauren conducted other tests and required an overnight stay. In the morning, haggard with the lack of sleep, she informed the fae's mother of the sad news. Her child was suffering a quick degradation of his cells, a genetic disease that sometimes hits their type of fae.

The mother only had one question: "Can you save him?"

Lauren told her she'd try her best. And she did too. She forwent sleep for the next couple of days working to find a cure. But this wasn't an infection like the blood fever. It was a genetic issue, a quirk of nature that he had been born with. Still Lauren tried (she even considered genetic manipulation but it was too risky and too slow for the quickly degenerating body) and failed. In a week, the teen was dead and his family in mourning.

That night, Lauren went to "her" bar and got drunk. (Not the Dal, but her "drink-your-sorrow-" bar) In the morning, she realized why the case hit her hard. In all her years as a doctor, she was already very much familiar with death. In fact, some would argue that death is her trade. Her role was to keep death at bay for as long as she could. She walked hand in hand with it, aware of how close people, human and fae alike, were to death; and how fragile and precious life was. This wasn't even her first fae death. There were the fairy folk in Congo before she discovered the cure, and there were a couple more after she became the Ash's ward.

But this was her first death since becoming the Ash's chief doctor and without Dr. Bertrand, it was her first time to be fully responsible for the fae's care. Only, it wasn't just that; it was also the way the mother had looked at her too. She had known Lauren as "the doctor who cured the blood fever". And she had expected a miracle of her own too. She hadn't said it out loud, but it had been in her eyes: if Lauren had managed to cure something that had plagued the fae for centuries, then she could just as easily find a way to save her son. And Lauren had failed that expectation, no matter how unfair it was.

She had always relished that title too: "the doctor who cured the blood fever". It had been hers, a foothold in a world that looked down on her kind. It gave her a chance to prove herself, made the fae stop and pay attention to her. She never imagined that it would become a burden to her. That it would elevate her to something she never inspired to be: a miracle worker and a hero of sorts. She didn't like the feeling and the heavy responsibility of it at all.

Lauren had become a doctor mainly because she loved science and the challenges it offered and because she wanted to help people too. And when she was younger, she had envisioned research that would change the world for the better. She had shared that vision with Nadia, who had her own grandiose, revolutionary dreams. Together they planned to conquer the world and make their mark on it. Now the memory just made her feel very old.

She shook herself out of the funk and struggled to move on. Anyway, the Ash barely commented about the incident, just stated a need to deliver his condolences (and Dr. Bertrand hadn't come back swooping after her). Lauren just firmed her determination to be a good doctor, and do her very best regardless of the expectations.

xxx

Once Lauren was fully settled in her new position, the Ash started assigning projects to her. Little things at first, like vaccination plans for fae flu or creating a healthy alternate dietary plan for some faes that have lost their food sources from humanity's drive to modernity. Soon though, she finally felt the full brunt of her new position.

If Lauren thought that she knew what it was to serve the Ash before, she was again mistaken. She was beginning to think that she shouldn't let herself feel complacent because every time she thought she'd figured the Ash out (and her relationship with him), he surprised her. First, she had been isolated but well-cared for. Second, she had broken the rules and was punished for it. Then she had been in danger and was protected from it. Now, she realized that he had come back to her original purpose: to be wielded like the tool she was and had been from the very beginning.

Hadn't she already realized this before though, when she was in the dungeon. The Ash bound her in his service for her abilities. And she thought she had understood and accepted it then too. But it was different, without Dr. Bertrand. He had acted as a buffer and only now did Lauren realize how "sheltered" she was, still. (A word that she would never have thought to use to describe herself by this time) She discovered this when the Ash came to her one day and asked her to make a cure.

A small Light Fae clan in the US had contracted a curious case of STD, apparently from having unprotected sex with humans from the general area. Fae were normally immune to many of the human diseases. This clan however, had managed to contract and retain the STD, to the point where the disease had mutated to cause them real harm. The cure was easy enough for Lauren to make (she only had to bind the normal medicine for STD to fae herbal remedy so the faes' bodies won't reject it) and she had it ready pretty quickly. However, the Ash had his own plans. He wouldn't let Lauren send the medicine to the fae. When she asked why, he told her. The fae clan was being punished. They had been engaged in some sort of illegal human trade with Dark Fae, and had contracted their disease through indiscriminate "sampling" of their wares. The fae clan began to degenerate quickly but the Ash was adamant. It wasn't until one had died that he finally relented to giving them the medicine. It took a while and with many treatments but they did recover. And most importantly, they remembered the Ash's justice.

For Lauren, it was a horrible experience. She had never been a spiteful person and what the Ash made her do horrified her. She tried to reason with him, to ask that the fae be punished "normally" as she had been punished before. When that hadn't worked, she tried to remind him of their agreement, that she wasn't to be ordered to harm or kill a living being. The Ash only maintained that it was a different situation. She hadn't harmed them or killed them, it was the disease that they contracted themselves through carelessness. It was a flimsy loophole but the Ash had looked at her with challenge in his eyes. She knew her choices then: refuse to obey and be punished, or completely back out of their agreement. And where would that latter choice have taken her (them) anyway? Nadia would still be in a coma and she'd have no way of curing her. She hadn't suffered three years to back away now. So Lauren gritted her teeth and waited it out. She waited until the fae clan were begging, waited until finally the Ash gave her the permission and only afterwards did she allow herself to mourn for the dead fae and her lost morals.

It only grew after that, of course. While her service with the Ash wasn't always distasteful (sometimes it could be downright boring - especially with common checkups), she found herself learning to tolerate and do things she normally wouldn't. There were the long hours spent in the lab with no time to spend on Nadia because he demanded reports to be available quickly. There was also that time when they had been on the way to a meeting and a passing cyclist clipped a pedestrian right near their car. Lauren had been about to jump out and help the woman but the Ash had stopped her. She tried to make him go without her (if he was so concerned about being late) but he wouldn't hear her out. And she couldn't do anything but watch the woman bleed on the street as people called for help, until the light changed and she couldn't watch anymore.

Sometimes, it wasn't about the medicine and her role as a doctor that Lauren compromised on. Sometimes, it was just about her being the Ash's ward (servant, slave). Though the fae liked her, their regard could be a double edged blade too. As the Ash began to take her to various meetings with important, high ranking fae, Lauren found herself falling under their scrutiny. And faes know humans only as either food or entertainment so she became the latter at times. It wasn't anything degrading, like say being made to act as dog, or being made to go naked. She was still the Ash's and they respected his honor to not humiliate her too much. Sometimes she was made to serve the food and the drinks; other times they subtly played with her. There was the time a luck eater took some of her luck and she tripped into a potted plan, hurling dirt everywhere. Or that time when an incubus kept touching her and building up her arousal all evening with no relief in sight (but she got him for that later with lots of painful, jerky injections when he came to the clinic). And then there was a time with an unknown fae who she had talked to during a small party. It was only later when Lauren found herself sobbing her eyes out and considering whether to use the fork or the butter knife to gouge her eyes out that she faintly realized that the fae had somehow messed with her. One good thing did come out of that event: the Ash forbade anymore "playing" with his ward. (In the fae's defence, he probably didn't realize how much despair was actually bottled up inside of her. The guards had to subdue and restrain her to get her away from the party. Later at home, she had to be sedated and made to rest for a couple of days as she occasionally burst into tears at random times)

And through all these things, Lauren wilfully chose again and again to follow and bend under the Ash's will. There was only the one time where she seriously contemplated on leaving his service altogether (and take Nadia's chances some other way) and that was when she was asked to euthanize a sick fae child. Because they were a hardy breed, Lauren hardly ever saw child fae patients and this one was the youngest she'd seen so far. He was only a baby at 15 months old and very sick. Unfortunately all the combined science and magic in Lauren's hands still weren't enough to cure him. At the most, he would be a weakly child that will need to spend countless hours at the hospital when he grew up. At the least, he would die painfully.

She hadn't wanted to do it, refused the Ash even as she trembled at the thought of punishment. But then his parents came to her and asked themselves. They were sad and devastated with their decision but nevertheless, they have already decided. They wanted to spare him a life of pain, they said. And if they could they would take his life themselves, but that was the one line they wouldn't break. So they asked her, asked Dr. Lewis to please spare their child, please? And Lauren understood, despite not wanting to. She was his doctor, she knew best what his chances were and she could see too how hard it was for his family to do this. But she also saw how much he fought for his life, trapped as he was with tubes and masks all over his tiny body. In the end, she granted him reprieve and pulled the plug.

Afterwards she resisted going to her bar to get drunk. Instead, she headed straight to Nadia's chamber and stared dry-eyed at her girlfriend's prone body. She wanted to leave the fae then, and never come back. Her mind had already begun to look at her options (maybe she could find a job in a hospital and install Nadia in their coma ward or something) but after a while she just stood there and sadly acknowledged that she couldn't leave the fae now. And it was no longer just because of Nadia, but because of her too. Because sometimes Lauren couldn't remember how she'd lived before she met the fae; because the Morrigan was right, the fae was a small community and she knew and cared for all of her Light Fae patients (more than she'd cared for her human ones from before); because as _petty_ as it seems, she had gotten used to being the Chief Doctor with her own assistants. Lauren touched Nadia's pod and admitted to herself that she liked her life now. "The only thing I need is for you to wake up and everything will be perfect, babe."

In return for her loyal service, the Ash made sure that she had the latest gizmo gadgets for the clinic. He built her a better lab and indulged all her research projects. Gradually, she also finally had his confidence (making Dyson's suspicions finally correct). He trusted her with his some of his secrets and perhaps more importantly, he listened to her counsel and advice. He would often ask for her opinion on things that were not necessarily of medical nature and if he chose not to heed them, at least he took them into account. At long last, they have finally achieved the right balance on their relationship as master and servant.


	10. Interlude: Lauren and Nadia

19

As Lauren slowly evolved and learned to navigate the choppy waters of faeworld under the Ash's rule, something else happened to her: she cheated on Nadia.

It was such a cliché too. They were attending yet another meeting abroad and Lauren had been dismissed for the day. She had been a bit mopey all week because she had missed Nadia's birthday from all the traveling they were doing. So she went to the hotel bar and proceeded to drink a little. A little turned to pretty tipsy soon. Then a woman sat beside her and they chatted a bit when Lauren recognized her as one of personnel of one of the Light Fae elders' entourage. The next thing she knew, they were in the woman's hotel room and they were having sex.

Afterwards, a numb Lauren took a shower and nodded dumbly as the other woman proceeded to talk to her (like she just hadn't cheated on her girlfriend). Apparently, she was her first human female and that it was nice but nothing to write home about (no offence intended). Lauren made her way to her own hotel room, took another shower and stared at the walls until it was time to go. In the Ash's private plane, he gave her a small speech about curiosity and how it was normal but that too much of it can be harmful. She took that to mean that he knew what happened and that it was his way of reminding (warning) her that Fae-Human relationships were forbidden.

When they got home, she took another shower before she made herself go to Nadia's chamber. The moment she saw the shining pod, Lauren couldn't help but choke out a gasp. And then she was crying again, kneeling beside Nadia in her stupid pod, wanting so badly to hold her in his arms as she begged for forgiveness. (Sometimes she thought that all she ever did in this room was cry) And the story poured out of her as she sought absolution from the girlfriend she had betrayed. She had been drunk and it had been an accident. She promised never to do it again ever. She was so very sorry.

Later when she had recovered from her heavy crying jag, Lauren struggled to be more coherent and maybe explain to her comatose girlfriend what really happened. She ignored the small voice in the back of her head that insisted that she didn't need to do this because Nadia would never know anyway. She had always tried to be brave for Nadia's sake, and she won't be a coward now. So she explained as best she could.

"I was drunk, yes but it wasn't an excuse. It's just... she touched me babe. She held my hand as we talked, and she continued to hold it when we rode the elevator. She... It was my fault for being weak, I know. And I'm so very very sorry about that. It's just..." Lauren paused and resisted the urge to tear her hair in frustration. She took a deep breath and started again. "It's been almost 3 years since you fell into a coma, and I... you've been in this pod for that long. I can't touch you, I can only look at you and I miss it Nadia, I miss your touch." Lauren gave a small bitter laugh. "Actually, I miss anyone's touch. I didn't realize it until that fae did it, but... God, this is so pathetic. You must want me to stop talking now huh?" Another heavy sigh and then, "I'm human and I think it all comes back to that? No one has touched me since I came here, except for that time with my parents. It's like I came with my own pod too, except its invisible and every fae can feel it. I touch people, it's my job to palpate and swab and feel around for their various illnesses, but no one touches me back. Aside from handshakes and occasional shoulder patting, there was only the time Dyson kissed my hand and Dr. Bertrand ruffled my hair that I felt genuine emotion, not professional gestures! Maybe they think I'm too fragile, or just an icky human. Maybe it's because I'm the Ash's property, I don't know. I just know that when that fae woman touched me, I felt something in me relax. But when it was over, I promise you babe, I felt nothing for her. Just shame and guilt and a familiar emptiness she temporarily filled."

Lauren promised never to do it again. But she broke that promise next year when she got tipsy again at some strange place. This time, she wasn't so drunk she couldn't have helped herself. When that new fae (she never asked for their names but they gave it to her anyway - last year was Greta, now Jeannie, and next time it will be Alexandra- and she didn't need to give her name because they knew her already) asked her to come up to her room, Lauren could have refused but she didn't. She made a choice. She knew what she had promised but she wanted to be selfish for once. Surely Nadia would understand this? They were all fae, so it wasn't and could never be serious. It's not like she felt anything for them, really. It was a biological function at least and at most, it was a brief respite from her overwhelming loneliness. Lauren believed that if she cheated in body, at least she never cheated in her heart. (And she told Nadia about all of it; she didn't hide what she did, just apologized for her weakness) She believed this completely, at least until she met Bo.


	11. A Mysterious New Fae is in Town!

20

The afternoon they called her to do an autopsy on a body (a fae kill, apparently) was supposed to be her "day off". (Although technically she had no real "days off" because she was on call 24/7) She had been creating an "antidote" for Nadia and she had wanted the whole day free to properly monitor the effects. She felt slightly guilty that it had been almost 8 months since anything remotely Nadia-related had popped up, so she created the antidote, (without magic, just pure science this time) to force Nadia's body to awaken. (This wasn't her first try with this method anyway. The first time had no effect and the second time triggered a cardiac arrest. She was reasonably wary for such effects this time, hence the "day off" to fully observe the results) But as always, duty came before experiments (i.e. Nadia).

The body was of a male in his late thirties, sporting an off putting grinning rictus. It didn't take her long to determine it had been a chi drain but that was the extent of her findings. (she didn't think the Ash would be concerned that his blood toxicity level was above normal and that he had crabs) There weren't many clues as to what kind of fae had done it, although if she would have to guess it was probably a positive chi drain (not like her time with the despair eater, or any other negative emotion eaters), at least going by his smiling visage. She passed the report on to the Ash and tried to salvage the rest of her day.

xxx

The morning after, Lauren received a call from Hale to expect them. He and Dyson had tracked the unknown fae that dumped the body and they were bringing her in as per the Ash's orders. He called to give her a heads up as she might be asked to test the fae's particular species. As she readied her equipments necessary for testing, Lauren's mind wandered over that unknown fae. It had been sloppy, leaving that kill in plain sight. Was she so arrogant as to not care at all? And which side does she belong too anyway?

When they arrived, Lauren was still fussing around in the lab, having found other work in the meantime. She decided to wait awhile until the Ash called for her because she figured he'd want to interrogate her first. While waiting, the first of the rumours regarding the new fae trickled in. Apparently, the new fae was claiming ignorance of being fae in general and was demanding for a lawyer. As her staff giggled over the clueless fae, Lauren's mind began to wander again. If the fae was telling the truth that she knew nothing of her kind, well... that was absurd. The fae have a very good detection process in place in case a child fae was lost in the human orphanage system, as would be the case here. They find orphaned fae children (which was actually rare, considering how tightly knit and interwoven fae clans were) and put them with fae clans of their kind to be fostered. How was this one able to slip undetected then?

Before she could ponder on that, she was finally summoned by the Ash. On her way to the hall, she spied the guards trying to block the Morrigan from entering the premises. Instead of stopping to help them, Lauren just hurried forward knowing that they wouldn't be able to stop a determined Morrigan for long. Better if she could just warn the Ash as soon as she could.

When she finally saw the new fae, she noted that she was beautiful and tall. Also judging from her expressive face, she was confused, scared and angry. Lauren was beginning to think that she might not be lying about her ignorance. And then the Ash was telling them to go, so Lauren used her special "soothing" voice she usually reserved for the aggressive fae patients and led her to the lab with Hale following at a discreet distance. While they were walking, a thought struck Lauren and she asked impulsively, "How old are you?" (Because for years now, Lauren had never seen a fae that was her age. They were either too young, or too old. The youngest intern in the clinic right now was 83 years old. He was only in the second World War, not the first)

The fae seemed startled at that and looked at her suspiciously before answering, "29, why?"

While Lauren did a giddy dance in her head, her voice remained smooth. "As a doctor, it's my job to know these details before we start testing." The fae seemed to accept that and fell silent. And then Lauren spoke again this time a bit sheepishly, "By the way, what's your name again?" The fae gave her a small smirk but by then they've reached the lab and before she could answer, Lauren gestured to Hale.

"Please remove her cuffs."

Hale hesitated, "Are you sure doc, cause this one's feisty."

"Yes, I need her arms free."

Hale moved reluctantly, "Well okay, but I better stay here just to make sure..."

Lauren interrupted him again. "Hale, it's fine. You can't be here because it's a private examination." At which point Hale looked bit uncomfortable. Lauren wondered what he was thinking. "There're guards in the hallways, she won't be able to escape so easily. You can just go back to the Ash, he might need your help dealing with the Morrigan's goons."

After a brief staring contest, Hale nodded in defeat. "Okay doc, whatever you say." Then he turned to the other fae and with a pointed finger in her face said, "Behave."

The other fae glared at him and watched as he walked away. "So, you're Lauren."

Lauren was also watching Hale and turned to her new patient. "Yes. Dr. Lauren Lewis. And you are?" She picked up a blank chart and began to take down "Bo's" answers to her following questions. When she had most of the relevant information, Lauren said, "Okay, I need you to strip all your clothes off." She turned to put her clipboard away and began to prepare a fresh syringe for the blood analysis. When she turned back, Lauren couldn't help but inhale deeply at the sight before her. "Bo" was buck naked and so so ... so beautiful and God help her, so utterly fuckable. It was like getting hit with a bat right on the face. She blinked rapidly, trying to recover. Part of her brain noted her reaction and determined that it was probably a fae effect. It couldn't possibly be a normal reaction because it was too intense. She had never felt this way about anyone before, and it was exhilaratingly scary. Lauren swallowed discreetly and gestured to the bed for "Bo" to sit on.

Bo nonchalantly sat down and didn't look a bit bothered by her nudity. Lauren dropped her syringe and picked up the chart again. Then she watched her hand move as if on its own, parting Bo's hair away from her back and running her fingers lightly over the sinfully smooth skin. She saw Bo gave an involuntary shiver from her touch and her own body gave a sympathetic shiver in reaction.

"So, what are you checking me for?"

The question jolted her out of her very unprofessional lusting. She needed to focus and started spouting fae traditions (all the things she learned from Dr. Bertrand. There, the thought of him calmed her suddenly raging libido) about the branding of fae clans. Then Lauren made the mistake of facing Bo and seeing her nude body again (the back view was bad enough). Of course she couldn't be blamed for the inane sounding, "My God, you're beautiful" that came out of her mouth. She turned away quickly and heard how Bo sounded a bit smug when she admitted that it was her effect on everyone. That confirmed her initial hypothesis then. When Bo asked to put her clothes back on, she felt both relief and disappointment. (She couldn't help but sneak glances though. Lauren never realized how much of a turn-on it was to see a woman put on some clothing.)

Bo had more questions about the fae and Lauren concentrated on giving her the facts to further distract herself. She could see her absorbing her answers carefully but eagerly. She was reminded that not an hour ago, this woman had thought herself human. It was a very curious thing. Lauren's mind started to wander again, thinking of how she would feel if she were to discover that she was actually fae. It simply would not compute. Shaking herself from her silly thoughts, she half-focused on Bo (it won't do to get sucked in that lustful haze again) who had only put on her bra. "So what are you?" Lauren trotted that old line "I'm in it for the science" and fought not to blush at the flirty "Oh, kinky" reply she got in return.

Then there were no more jokes and Bo asked the only question left. "What kind of fae am I?"

"You're a succubus."

It shouldn't have surprised Lauren that Bo's first question was, "Can you fix it?" But it did, and along with the surprise came an unexpected pang in her heart at that slightly desperate tone. She tried to reassure Bo that she was a perfect specimen of her kind but Bo's wry reply of "Who has a habit of waking up to dead lovers. I mean, if that's not sick then I want a second opinion" only twisted the pang in heart a little bit tighter. Her mouth ran ahead of her and Lauren found herself offering her help without the Ash's backing. She backtracked a bit, elaborating on the divide between fae and the constrictions on her offer. But looking at Bo's hopeful face, she figured maybe the Ash could forgive her if she managed to recruit this one to the Light Fae. Plus she had a bit more leeway with him these days and maybe...

All thoughts evaporated when she felt Bo take her hands in her own. It felt like drowning in lust (in feelings) that was personified by Bo herself; like her whole self was immersed in Bo and every want and every need can only be satisfied by her. In that moment, she was willing to offer everything for whatever small bit of attention Bo might deign to give her. The small surviving part of her rational brain told her it was the fae power and that what she was feeling right now wasn't real. Lauren said that out loud trying to convince herself, but that small part drowned too when she glimpsed Bo's amused smirk.

Of course then Dyson had to be the one to see her in this state. Bo released her and Lauren had to fight not to grab her back. Instead she avoided looking at Dyson's face, sure that he felt amused by her embarrassment. And then Bo apologized. That, more than the embarrassment she currently felt, made her stutter in reply (something about the experience being interesting? Such a lame word to describe what had occurred in the last minute) because it was so unexpected. Fae never apologized to humans, ever. At least, not directly like Bo so casually did.

She tried to remember again that this particular fae was raised as a human by other humans. It made her a singularly unique being among other "interesting" beings.

"Where are you taking her?" she finally thought to ask Dyson.

The Glass Factory, Dyson said. It was a neutral territory where they conducted the tests for when the fae were mature enough to choose a side. It is traditional test conducted through battle that sought to determine the physical and mental capabilities of fae. And fae children were usually trained for the first 30-40 years of their lives. (Hence the reason, fae children were coddled and isolated by their families) It was madness and she said so. But she already knew before Dyson said it, they had no choice. She watched him lead Bo away and sighed deeply. She felt a need to stop them (stop this whole thing) but Lauren pushed it away. Likely it was an after effect of Bo's power, to feel protective of her. They were fae, they could take care of themselves.

That night, when there had been no word of what happened with the test, Lauren gave Bo up for dead. There was no way she could win without training and new to the fae world to boot. If that thought pained something inside her, she ignored it. It was still just an after effect from this afternoon.

xxx

In the morning, Lauren heard from the Ash himself what Bo had done. While she was surprised that such a newbie (a baby fae really) was able to pass the test, she did found that she had been halfway expecting the other news: that Bo would not choose a side. This was an unfamiliar world to her yet and it made sense for her to look at her options first before truly choosing a side. Still, Lauren felt glad at the news. When she got back to her lab, she took the medicine concoction she created for the incubus that one time from the drug vault. Just in case Bo decided that she was better off joining the Light Fae after all, then this could be helpful in some way. Lauren also found herself refreshing her knowledge on Succubi (and Incubi for that matter), as well as other sexual chi eaters. Again, it just might be handy someday. It was always prudent to be prepared and as the Light Fae doctor, she could not be caught off guard by a "new" species of fae. Her curiosity was just appropriate. (Not that she was expecting Bo to join anytime soon)

In the meantime, Lauren learned that Succubi gave off some sort of pheromone/aura energy that instantly attracts people around them. (Lauren believed that Bo must've been overloading the pheromones in the lab's air that afternoon and she inhaled/absorbed a good many of it because she was still slightly affected by the thought of her now) This energy affected human and fae alike, by triggering a desirous/lustful reaction. If the Succubi were to touch another person, this energy was tripled in effect and they were able to manipulate their prey easily. They usually take the energy through the mouth, but they can also absorb the general sexual aura of a person while in full body contact (ie intercourse). There were also a mention that older and more experienced Succubus could reverse the energy flow to make "thralls" but there were no specific methods described.


	12. Getting to know Bo

21

Bo came sooner than she expected and at a bad time too. One minute she was looking at her microscope and the next she was aware that Bo was there, watching her. She hoped Bo didn't see the odd humming and occasional mumbling she did, and tried to paste her respectable doctor face on. It was harder than usual, because once again she was aware of Bo (of everything about Bo) and trying not to be distracted by it. It irritated Lauren a little. It had been a couple of days already since Bo used her powers on her, so why was she still so damn affected? She tried to distance herself from the feeling, letting her scientist nature to rationally dissect Bo. From the ever fruitful gossip vine, Lauren had learned that Bo was helping another fae do something. While this was a good thing in that Bo was trying to relate more with her "heritage", it was almost somewhat of a concern as she was too "inexperienced" to deal with the fae as they were.

Bo proved this with her request. With a shy, hesitating expression, she asked Lauren to help her control her urges. Lauren couldn't help but frown at that. It was a political complication of course, which she mentioned to Bo. Although she had relative freedom and power nowadays by "the name of the Ash", she did have to run her decisions by him at the end of the day. And she couldn't risk her stable standing now for Bo, not when she has Nadia to think about. (She fought the urge to grimace at the thought of her girlfriend which ironically she hadn't given much thought this past few days) Lauren should have firmly turned Bo away. But Bo was gently persistent, and there was genuine distress there, Lauren could see. Bo was clearly afraid of herself and in that moment, Lauren began to understand how truly lost this woman was. She was right in thinking that Bo was a baby fae. She was lost and now that she was found, it was a foreign and dangerous place she had landed on. And Lauren found herself wanting to help, so she did. (The incubus medicine turned out to be helpful after all) She'd just deal with the Ash later.

As Lauren watched a grateful Bo leave her lab (hopefully downgraded from hungry horny to normal frisky), she wondered how a woman can be both childishly earnest and super sensual at the same time and be overall adorable for it. (She really should check herself because Bo's powers might've managed to mutate her insides causing these unusual feelings for the new fae)

xxx

Lauren didn't tell the Ash what she did, assuming that he would already know (he knew everything after all) and tell her off. When the Ash failed to mention anything about Lauren helping Bo, she concluded that he either didn't know yet (unlikely) or that he was letting it stand for his own reasons. He was probably waiting for her to make a big mistake and then punish her for it too, that sly old tree. (While she had never been whipped or thrown in the dungeons again, the Ash would occasionally punish her by restricting her access on her research and Nadia, if she mouthed off at times. It was something she did when fighting for what she believed was right and wrong in her medical care - the one thing she hated to compromise on)

In the meantime, she would continue helping the succubus unless stopped by a direct order. She made it a priority to fiddle with the formula for the medicine and tweaked it to correspond with Bo's particular body chemistry. Bo came a couple of times a week in the clinic for her shots and some exercises that Lauren had fashioned for her to be able to control her powers. (Lauren hadn't been able to gather much about succubus training in her research but she made do with what she knew of the physical process of it) At some point in these "illicit" visits, Bo brought her human. Or rather, her human friend and housemate named Kenzi.

While it had been weird to have another human in the fae labs, it quickly became irritating. Lauren tried to be gracious, truly. This was the first human she had significant contact with over the years (the other human servants of the Ash didn't count as they didn't live in the compound and basically just humans that have "sold their souls to the devil" for riches and fortune) and it excited her a bit to be able to interact with someone of her kind. This mood only lasted until Lauren caught Kenzi pocketing a crystal in her pocket. It was probably not deliberate, merely reflex for the sticky-fingered Kenzi, but whatever chance they had to bond was lost then. She had summoned her chilliest professional voice to chastise the girl. (The crystal was actually acting as a temporary home for a fae energy being while they were looking for a suitable body to transfer him in - thus very important and should never be messed with) Kenzi had been embarrassed and tried to brazen her way out with an outrageous story ("I was just making sure it's shiny because you know, you can never have more shiny?"), while Bo had been apologetic. Lauren relented of course and told Kenzi carefully that the things in the lab were very important and she mustn't touch them. That last part was unnecessary and made it seem like she was treating Kenzi as a naughty child but really, if something went missing then it's her head on the Ash's block.

After that, it was no surprise that Kenzi no longer came to the "succubus lessons".

Which suited Lauren just fine. She was able to concentrate on Bo and her progress without distractions; except for Bo herself. Who was still a big distraction, only now, it wasn't just her blatant sensuality but her personality too. Bo was utterly curious about everything fae (which was understandable and a little adorable) and was an eager student. She talked to Lauren like they were equals, and in between "lessons", gabbed about her current home life, her human's antics (Kenzi. Kenzi's! antics) and sometimes she let out little bits from her past. And she asked Lauren to reciprocate, clearly interested in befriending her too. It made her feel confused and pleased at the same time. No one had been interested like this in a long time (and Trick didn't count because even if they're both fae history aficionados, there was still the gap of their age and experience that was not breached) and she was a bit overwhelmed. Her mind couldn't process the fact that Bo was a FAE and that she wanted them to be friends, making it stall at times. Which was unfortunate because Bo was still Bo and very sexy without trying and she needed her guard up at all times.

xxx

It was a couple of weeks after their first "lessons" had begun when Lauren thought to go to the Dal for a break. It had been a while since she got there and it was only polite to check in with Trick once in a while. (It had nothing to do with the fact that Bo had talked about hanging out there once in awhile) She spotted Bo and her human (Kenzi! God, talk about a bad habit she'd picked up) Kenzi at the bar and made her way to them. Bo gave her a smile which she returned but Kenzi hadn't noticed her yet and she had to hear the girl compare her to a "frickin' specula". For a second, Lauren felt her irritation with that _stupid human_ flare up. She got that Kenzi had a tough life being a street kid but she knew nothing about Lauren's life to make comments like that. She fought the irritation down and just smiled coolly, putting it down to inebriation. Speaking of which, she turned to Bo and said, "You know, as your doctor, I should recommend against excessive intoxication."

As becoming usual, what followed was a somewhat flirty banter when really she had just been curious about the effect of alcohol on succubus powers. Stupid Bo playing with her hair. She went away quickly, not wanting to drown in Bo-induced lust again but before she left, she gave a last advice on Kenzi. "Keep an eye on her." Even though Kenzi had the talent of irritating her, she knew how loyal the girl was to Bo and she was a good friend and influence on the succubus. For a second, she let herself remember Ollie (the best friend from her former life) and their own shenanigans but then she caught Kenzi's curious remark.

"...serious sparkage. I think she likes you." Unfortunately, she also caught Bo's laughing (drunken) reply.

"No, it doesn't matter. Lauren is human. I sleep with her and she dies."

Lauren sighed and left then. She hadn't been able to talk to Trick yet but she had to leave by that point. She wasn't stupid, just in a massive denial. It wasn't just Bo's powers that was making her hyperaware of the succubus. She knew that she felt genuine lust for the other woman, something she hadn't felt in a long time. It was inconvenient and making her feel guilty (hence the denying) because despite the fact that she had already had sex with other women (while Nadia, her girlfriend, was in a magical coma) this was different. She had felt brief lust for those women while doing the act, but they were the ones who came after her and afterwards they were easily forgotten. This time she wanted to go to Bo, she wanted Bo to learn how to control her powers so they could have "safe sex". It was disconcerting and agonizing to feel like this.


	13. A foot in a soup and a snake in a tank

22

A few more weeks passed and they continued their "lessons" as Bo prospered in her new career as fae private investigator. From what Lauren had gathered, Bo had developed a considerable network with both Light and Dark fae. Neutrality was actually a very attractive state, where one had to follow no one but their own rules. Unfortunately, the Light and Dark leaders knew this very well and they took extreme measures to enforce mandatory membership. Those who chose to go neutral don't usually stay neutral for too long, as they were gradually coerced to choose a side. The fact that Bo had retained her neutrality this long meant that both the Ash and the Morrigan were deliberately ignoring her for the moment. And both Light and Dark fae were taking this opportunity to use Bo as their go-between. It worried Lauren at times, knowing how precarious this position was but so far Bo had been doing relatively well.

As for herself, Lauren tried to just ignore her body's wants regarding Bo and focus on her job instead. Currently, this resolve was nowhere in sight. It had been a month or so since they've started the "lessons" and she had determined that they needed a field trip to test Bo's new found control outside the lab. There were currently ogling people at a bar as Lauren tried to concentrate on Bo's answers to her questions rather than how sexy she looked with that particular top on.

"So tell me something first. When you're in a crowd like this, how do you read libido?" Lauren asked as she let herself enjoy this moment. To see a fae in live action, so to speak, was amazing. For all her knowledge of the fae: their history, their culture and their bodies, this was one thing that she wasn't truly privy to. The fae trusted her but she still couldn't ask them to indulge her curiosity and describe to her the way their powers worked. (She only knew this from her books and the occasional fae bodies she had to autopsy) But with Bo, it was not only allowed but she could sense the fae wanting to share, wanting someone to truly understand and help her understand herself in return.

"I see energy flow..."

"Huh, like an aura."

Bo looked at her, "Kind of." And then continued to describe the sexual energy that she "saw" . With her attention fixed on the couple at the other end of the bar, Lauren sneaked looks at her. She wondered what Bo would see if she looked at her now. Something reckless in her made her ask, "Okay, what about me right now?"

Bo gave a funny nervous giggle. "What about keeping this professional?" Lauren spouted something about scientific curiosity, smiling. Then Bo turned those darkening chocolate colored eyes to her and Lauren felt naked under her gaze. She held the stare for as long as she could and then lost her courage, turning away.

"We need another drink."

Bo agreed, laughing to break the tension. "Yeah we do."

Later, after many more tequila shots, Lauren felt loose and tipsy. Bo had professed a liking for "after-hours!Lauren" and for once, she wanted to be how Bo saw her. Fun and easy going. So she gave her hand to the fae and almost dared her, "Come on. Hit me." Bo joined their palms together and let her power loose. In that instant, the sudden heat in her body seemed to burn the alcohol in her blood. There was only Bo again and Bo forever.

"You feel that?" Bo let loose another pulse of her power.

Lauren couldn't help but hiss at the sensation, struggling afloat, wanting to retain her wits for a while. This wasn't only Bo's test, it was hers too. She needed to know how strong her will was. "Yeah, now focus on what you're feeling."

Bo inhaled, visibly gathering her control. "Hungry." And then their gazes met again and then she was drowning again, lost. There was nothing else Lauren wanted more than to kiss her (devour those lips and plunder that luscious mouth) but fortunately (or unfortunately?) Bo pulled away. Lauren reeled in her desires almost painfully. She was utterly frustrated but slightly relieved too. She struggled to get her professional mask back on and comfort the slightly freaking fae in front of her. She reminded herself that she was a doctor and tried to help Bo with her biggest stumbling block: her fear.

Fear of her powers, fear of herself and fear of the unknown. She made casual references to what she called her "ten year killing spree" but Lauren knew that it wasn't just a casual event as Bo would want her to believe. Once, Bo told her that she tried to choose the human scum, to try and turn her power as an agent of good instead of evil. She slept with criminals and dirtbags, drug addicts and malicious, evil people. But even so, it all ended the same way; they were all dead by Bo's hands. That responsibility (to play judge, jury and executioner) and guilt, how had it changed that young teenage "human"? Her own 5-year stint with the fae seemed petty in comparison. Bo had deep scars in her psyche, and Lauren badly wanted to help her heal some of them. And not just because she was a doctor, but because it was Bo, her fae friend. She deserved to bloom and realize her full potential. Just now, Bo was being very brave despite her fears (and the occasional stumbling blocks). She was already so strong and magnificent, what more if she would learn to accept her fae nature. She would be a force of nature. (No wonder that the Ash and the Morrigan were being careful with her, Lauren realized, maybe they could see the potential too) And to achieve this, she had to make Bo to realize that the fae weren't monsters and that most of all, she wasn't a monster.

That final conversation put paid to the night. They just set a date to meet tomorrow morning and declared the fun over.

xxx

That morning, Lauren woke up a little early to prepare for Bo's arrival. However, she received a summon from the Ash regarding a medical emergency from one of the Aswang order. They experienced the first symptoms in the middle of the night but instead of coming directly to the clinic, they only called this morning to report the incident. Lauren frowned at that, thoughts of Bo leaving her mind as tried to figure out this new problem. She knew about Aswangs but she'd never had them as a patient before, being a particularly hardy breed of fae. Lauren was still thinking when she came to the lab but she stopped a bit when she heard Kenzi's voice, magnified by the natural acoustics of the place.

"... so ever asked yourself what she's getting out of this arrangement?"

Lauren sighed. She was sure they were talking about her because Kenzi had that tone of voice- sarcastic and contemptuous. (And she really should stop eavesdropping on their conversations too, however accidentally) She didn't bother dissecting that particular comment now but rather hurried to make her excuses to Bo. But then Bo gave her the perfect excuse to salvage their morning and still spend time with her: just bring the succubus to work. Ignoring Kenzi's snarking, Lauren decided that this was a good idea. It was a chance for Bo to learn more of her work with the Light Fae and meet a respectable fae order.

Everything was normal and routine with the house call (although Lauren did find pleasure telling Kenzi off again like a child and then again at Bo who'd looked shocked and slightly grossed out at learning what the Aswangs' main diet was) until they went to retrieve the foot. The socialite that Lauren's mother painstakingly bred in her shrieked in horror at Kenzi's deeds. To be that familiar with a stranger's house, to eat their food without permission? Where was the common decency! After she wrestled with this emotion, (and the slight schadenfreude from Kenzi's horrified expression when they told her the contents of the soup) her doctor persona finally reasserted itself. She watched Kenzi obsessively clean her mouth for a few minutes before she finally lost patience and left for the labs.

xxx

That night while lying on her bed, Lauren pondered the day's events. She had gone out of the lab (not unusual) to infiltrate a medical research facility (very unusual). In the process, she had to restrain a succubus from being impulsive (a recent but already well developed routine she'd perfected), created a diversion and injected a guard with sleepy medicine (very very strange and unreal) . Then she found a sick basilisk, took a sample of its skin and turned off its life support (actually not as unusual as it sounded, with her life as it was now). Lastly, she had to create an antidote to save Kenzi from basilisk poison (the only thing unusual there was the fact that she was trying to save _a human_ this time).

All that and the Ash didn't have much of a comment apart from, "Make sure that we don't let anything like this happen again. I expect you to tighten the monitoring process for any fae-related research done by humans." (very unusual and slightly suspect)

It felt good though, Lauren acknowledged. Once she got over the shock of doing something very (unusual) out of character, she found that she had liked it. Bo had thanked her for "saving her ass" and it was great. For once, she could be the hero and not just because of her medical skills but apparently for her planning, sneaking and impersonating skills too. (This wasn't like curing the blood fever at all, this time there's only a grateful Bo, a maybe-grateful Kenzi, a relieved Trick and a sulky Dyson. Needless to say, it was the latter that made this victory very sweet indeed) And there was one another win that came out from all this: Bo's control.

When Lauren had learned that Bo was able to "succubus" the guard without killing him, she felt pride first at her "student" and having all their efforts finally pay off. Then she felt something inside her tighten, as though in anticipation, something dark and excited and impatient. But there was still the saving to be done so she had locked that feeling away for the moment. By the time Kenzi started responding to the medicine, another feeling had woken up in her. Fear. So she ran away. She accepted Bo's thanks, gave her own thanks, told her she understood that they were in the real world now and left.

Now in the privacy of her rooms she pondered that moment again and this fear that she could still feel at the back of her mind. She wanted to be with Bo and still does, that much she knew. And she'd tell herself that it was a bit late for her body's instinct for danger to have kicked in (because wanting to have sex with a barely controlled succubus - definitely a suicidal move) but it wasn't even that. It was the intensity of her feelings that scared her; the intensity of the feelings that Bo's succubus powers effortlessly evoked in her, combined with her natural lust for the fae, it terrified her. Bo was the fire and she was the curious moth drawn to her. It wouldn't end well, Lauren thought. But still, she'd do it. It was better to satisfy this curiosity now and burn it out, rather than let it stand like this. If they get the chance, she would sleep with Bo and get it all over and done with. Then they can pursue a good friendship; this was what she had decided.


	14. Doctors vs Dogs

23

With that night's decision firmly in place, Lauren accepted Bo's invitation for a little drink at the Dal a couple of days after the "foot soup" event. She had still been a little scared, but mostly she was giddy at having a game plan (she never really did well with "winging it") and the prospect of meeting Bo with the chance of ending in her bed. She should have known though, the Dyson would be there, because clearly he can smell when she's even faintly happy and would come to irritate her instead.

The whole encounter started awkward and ended badly, which was no surprise to Lauren. She and Dyson generally had an antagonistic relationship, but it had grown a bit more hostile these years as she became closer to the Ash. However, what surprised her was the fact that he was acting like this in front of Bo, who was still a stranger by all accounts. He usually reserved his biting remarks in private. Like now, she had just commented in his presence (perhaps with a bit of a subtle undertone to "get lost", but still) and it had degenerated to this.

"Haven't had a sick day since before you were born." Was his reply to her comment about dodging the physical check up. Dyson liked to throw this in her face once in a while, that he was older than dirt and therefore the automatic winner because of his "years of knowledge". Funnily enough, Trick- who's older than him- doesn't do the same thing.

"The Ash requires it." Lauren tried to keep her tone cajoling, not wanting to be outright confrontational. But Dyson was really making it hard. "Well then, he can call me himself."

She wanted to laugh at that but didn't. He doesn't rate private phone calls from the Ash, he's not even the Head of the Guard. She settled for, "We're on the same side Dyson." Which turned out to be a mistake because he brought in the big guns. "No, you're a human that works for my side." It startled her. He was deliberately goading and being very antagonistic. This was more extreme than he usually got with her. It seemed to surprise Bo too because she tried to break the tension with a nervous laugh and an offer to do the shots.

But Lauren won't back down from Dyson now. This was an old game that poor Bo found herself in the middle of, and so far there had been no winners, just wounded pride all around. "My work is the will of the Ash, are you questioning that?"

"Are you questioning my fealty?"

Bo, poor, brave Bo tried to rescue her. "... I'm pretty sure she wasn't questioning it."

She was a bit sorry to cut her off but this was her fight. "I can speak for myself."

At that, Dyson let out an almost triumphant smirk. "When the Ash lets you." Lauren felt stupid for walking in that trap, but she didn't retaliate. Sometimes it was the better part of valour to know when to retreat and that was what she would do. Turning to Bo, she put her drinks down and said, "Thanks for the uh... fun."

Anyway, it was also part of valour to be a bit manipulative, right? (She hadn't lived this long with the fae and the Ash in particular and not pick up a few tricks) Well, she was sure she just got the sympathy vote from Bo with this move too. Stupid, territorial Dyson ruining her evening.

xxx

The next morning, although she was glad to see Bo (and Kenzi) again, she was distracted by their strange symptoms. If it was only Bo, the injections could explain it (because she constantly tinkered with the formula) but since it was also Kenzi, (who came to her on her own volition, which Lauren figured was a good sign if the girl was at least willing to trust her medical expertise now) she suspected that it had something to do with their environment. She hadn't been to their house yet (fondly nicknamed as "the clubhouse") but she'd heard that it was a condemned building and likely not a very healthy place to live in. Before she could suggest temporary relocation, they started bickering and left.

Later that day, Dyson came bearing evidence in the new case they were working on (cobwebs from the crime scenes) and it was quickly determined to be fae creation. While Lauren promised to research its exact origins later, she decided that it was time to get the upper hand with Dyson. Since he professed a dislike for being prodded and poked, that's exactly what she would do now, in the name of physical check up.

"Bo mentioned that you've been extremely tired." She wondered how long his hours were with the police and if he was really tired, then she should probably suggest to the Ash to rearrange his schedule.

Dyson only flashed that smirk again, "Bo said that, huh?" as though he was amused that Bo would say that to her. She was a bit defensive and slightly smug when she replied, "Guess she was worried about you. And we're close. She knows she can talk to me." She and Bo were friends now and nothing he could say would change that.

But that smirk only grew wider. "Yeah I'm tired, but it's Bo's fault."

At that, Lauren felt a creeping sense of realization. "Why is that?" She found herself holding her breath.

"Well, if you guys are that close then just ask her." His smirk was bordering on obscene now. He could probably smell her embarrassment but she won't let it show on her face. "Sure Dyson." At that, she just let him go and slumped near the exam bed. If she got him correctly (and she was sure she did), he and Bo were sleeping together and Bo had been feeding from him. (She had to wonder what would make a powerful wolf fae tired, hadn't she?) It hurt something in her, that knowledge. It felt like something sharp and heavy had landed in her stomach and every breath she took caused jolts of pain throughout her whole body.

It wasn't that Bo was sleeping with someone else, because she hadn't been looking for forever (God, talk about a laughable concept) just a couple of nights with the succubus. It was the fact that she had slept with Dyson. Dyson! (Now she understood why he was being so hostile last night - in fact she was a bit turned off to basically lust after his "sloppy seconds" now)

Why couldn't it be sweet, funny Hale? Lauren sighed. She knew the answer to that too. Because Hale WAS sweet and funny and compared to Dyson's brooding good looks and rugged manly charm... there was no competition. Lauren knew that if Bo was sleeping with Dyson, then it wasn't a monogamous thing (not that Bo was capable of that anyway, being a succubus) because she also knew that Bo was sleeping around. Bo herself had been discreet about that, but the fae rumour mill was in full swing. (In fact, these days most of the gossip was somehow related to Bo, "the unaligned fae")

Before she could ponder on that some more, her computer bleeped with a message. It was the scan for the origin of the web, with the results. It came from a rare class of Underfae called _Djieiene_, a poisonous spider that causes rage and paranoia in its victims resulting often in widespread madness and death. Although the entry hadn't said how to kill it, it had accompanying photos of the catastrophic events it had caused in the past. Without thought, Lauren activated the security alert. They needed to contain that danger soon for the safety of all humans and fae alike.

Then she called Dyson and could've hit herself in the head for not realizing it sooner (before Dyson did, anyway): Bo and Kenzi had already been bitten. Still, she couldn't just call off the alert she'd sent out. It was too important, even if it was Bo. She told Serena that it would be quarantine for now, while she looked for a way to kill the fae. They were to make sure that the _Djieiene_ was at the location, make sure it won't be able to escape and then wait for her go signal. The _ifrit_ had given her a patronizing look at that as though to say she's the head of guard, not Lauren, she'd make that decision. But Lauren insisted that Serena double check the location and quarantine because they don't want unwanted publicity. And when Serena agreed, she hightailed it to the Dal for Trick's advice.

xxx

A couple of hours later, with the heart safely stabbed with one of Trick's steak knives, Lauren was patching up Gordon Hurley before she left for the clinic. Bo, Kenzi and Hale should already be on their own way over there, brought by the Ash's security team, for a final check up. (There were also some on their way here to detain Hurley for questioning) Dyson was glaring at her again but Trick was beaming, again clearly relieved by the outcome. She felt deeply relieved too although she couldn't show it yet. She thought that it would've killed something in her if she had inadvertently caused Bo's death, no matter the reasons.

When they got back to the lab (with the heart carefully preserved for future study), she checked Hale, Bo and Kenzi's status and pronounced them all well. As she was marking her final notes on the patient charts, Bo came over and Lauren could barely hold herself back this time, wanting to show her relief at her (their) safety. What came out was a small babble regarding how electrons played a part in the feeding process of the _Djieiene_, which thankfully Bo found amusing instead of annoying. She thanked her for once again saving her (them) and secured another promise of a night out. (This time Dyson-free, she hoped)

While Bo wandered over to Kenzi and Hale, Dyson came over looking serious and calculating. Lauren automatically straightened, her guards up and ready.

"You would've killed Gordon, wouldn't you?" he said matter of factly.

Lauren refused to flinch at that. She hadn't been sure what kind of fae Gordon was but he WAS fae and they were resilient. "I'm a doctor. It's called triage." At that moment, Bo and the others were the ones in critical danger not Gordon, so she made a decision.

Dyson's look was still calculating as though she'd done something that surprised him. "Call it what you want, I just didn't think you had it in you." Because Dyson had always underestimated her; because she was human, because she was the Ash's, because he didn't care for her. When she said as much, he replied, "You're inconsistent. First you call a strike on Bo, then you stab a man to save her. I just don't trust your motives."

She wanted to protest that because she hadn't known that she had been calling a strike on Bo, but she decided that it didn't matter. She wouldn't have done anything different if she had known, only hesitated a little. So she simply replied, "It's not your trust I'm interested in."

He nodded at that. "Fair enough."

And then Lauren couldn't resist a last jab (she deserved a little gloating anyway, after all his shots at her), "Is it really my loyalties you're worried about or that this time I was Bo's hero?"

He snorted a little at that and turned away, "You're the one that almost got her killed."

At that, Lauren really had to fight down the urge to smile. Of course Dyson would be a sore loser. He had thought that Serena had given him two hours but she knew that it was part of the schedule (that's why she knew she had time to get Trick's help). She had also seen his look later when her own phone call had stopped the cleansing, not his. He definitely didn't like that he had no control over the events whatsoever.

And he may not trust her motives, but he was one to talk too. Why was he helping Bo? There were other beautiful fae vying for Dyson's attention (she knew this from the gossip mill too. In fact, a couple of nurses in her staff drool whenever he's in the compound) but what made Bo different, aside from she's new and unaligned (and also as becoming apparent, a trouble magnet)? The "life-draining" sex? For that matter, Trick too had been very helpful to Bo and Kenzi. She knew they had hidden motives, she wasn't stupid. She'd been in this world too long to know that nothing came free with the fae. Lauren suddenly remembered Kenzi saying something like that a couple of days ago, hadn't she? But she had been talking about Lauren's motives too.

Her motives were actually both simple and complicated. It's simple in that, Lauren helped Bo because it is in her nature to help as a doctor.

It's complicated in that, she was going behind the Ash's back to do it; that she wanted to sleep with Bo herself and the only way to do that safely was to help her gain control; that Bo had somehow became a friend; that with Bo's arrival in their lives, it had felt good to shake up her old routine a little and go on "mini-adventures" like this time. All these and more that she couldn't quiet articulate. These were her motives. She didn't think they were bad or suspect at all. Maybe a little selfish, but she was taking a risk here too. There was still the possibility that the Ash was just setting her up and will punish her once he "found out" what she'd done. (She always had to be careful because her life was entwined with Nadia's and if something should happen to her, it could also affect Nadia. And that was unacceptable)


	15. A Night to Remember

_Hey guys, this is my belated Christmas gift to you all. I'm sorry it took so long to update, but I'm on vacation and I didn't realize how hard it was to play and work at the same time. :D Anyway, please enjoy the Vexed episode part of this story._

24

Lauren saw Bo again at the clinic for another check up (trouble-magnet Bo struck again) after what Bo had called a meeting gone bad. They were still seeing each other regularly for the injections and training (and also for a couple of afterhours drinks - Dyson free, as promised), but this was the first time she came here for treatments of this kind. And Lauren was beginning to think that Bo came only to flirt. She touched her collarbone, dipping her fingers lower and Lauren tried not to pant at the sensation. Then Bo was holding her necklace, complimenting it and that effectively killed her libido. She took the necklace away quickly, tucking it back in her shirt and moved away from Bo's ready reach. Bo then asked her if she missed treating "normal" humans, and she answered that quickly enough. No, she didn't miss them at all and "pedestrian" was how she put it.

"Once you go fae, you never go back huh?" Bo asked, her tone suggestive and laughing.

Unexpectedly, Lauren felt the urge to grimace at that but forced a chuckle instead. She remembered her fae encounters (all three of them) and she wasn't exactly keen to repeat them. Unable to stand that line of thought, she changed the subject. "Speaking of humans, have you had any success sexually yet?"

Bo hesitated a bit, and answered that she was still afraid to "try the whole meal deal". And then she said something that made Lauren pause and listen carefully. "But there's no rush right?"

"No. No, of course. You should take your time."

Now Bo looked a bit keen, "Because I was thinking that taking things slow on that front would be good. For everyone. If they were OK with that." She was staring at Lauren hard and Lauren just smiled at her. She got the not-so-subtle message very well. No sex for Bo and Lauren yet in the near future. (Damn it) But as Bo's doctor, she had to add on to that.

"Devil's advocate...a succubus needs a healthy sex life in order to be stable. And, of course, when wounded you'll have to have sex in order to heal." she said matter of factly.

Bo blithely replied with, "Yeah, well, I kind of have that covered. Or I did anyway." Now Lauren really had to fight an urge not to grimace. She couldn't believe she stumbled in this painful line of conversation. Instead she pretended innocence and in her smoothest voice asked, "Oh. Really. With who?"

Dyson's name came out of Bo's lips and Lauren had to fight another more extreme reaction.

"I trust him and he's Fae so I don't have to worry about draining him to death. Everybody wins." When Lauren looked up, she noticed that Bo didn't look that enthused about this set up. And hadn't she mentioned that this was now no longer the case? The thought cheered her up a bit so she just settled for, "Well, that's good to know. As your doctor, I would be more comfortable with you choosing someone slightly less well-traveled. But, um, it's your choice" as her reply. Implying of course that Dyson was a mangy mutt that would hump everything that moved. (And she wasn't even lying really. Dyson was well-traveled and before Bo came, had been a veritable ladies' man. The two nurses in her staff drool over him because he'd slept with them before - and they were still hung up on his "charms")

If Bo looked a bit amused at her dig on Dyson, Lauren just ignored it.

xxx

The next time she saw Bo, there wasn't much flirting involved. Bo looked harried and a bit upset and it was purely a business meeting. She had asked Lauren to set up an appointment with the Ash to ask him, on behalf of Lou Ann, to rescue the Dark Fae from the death row conviction. Lauren would accompany her to him and maybe do some damage control if Bo's impatient nature reared itself. The meeting itself turned out the way Lauren had expected: not very well at all.

Bo had done well until the end when it became apparent that the Ash wouldn't help (and wasn't even a tiny bit concerned about it) and then she had lost her temper. She had looked to Lauren once, as if for help, but Lauren just turned her gaze away. There was nothing she could do. Later when Bo had walked out and she had been dismissed from the Ash's presence, she tried to tell Bo again that what she was doing was dangerous and that if the time comes, she had no influence with the Dark Fae.

"I can't help you if got into trouble", Lauren pleaded.

But Bo had to be her stubborn self. She said she wasn't asking for help but it was clear that she needed it. She always needed it. More than ever, Lauren saw her as that baby she once thought Bo was: stumbling around without care but the minute she encountered something she didn't like or understand, she cried and threw a tantrum about it.

Bo also mentioned her other connections, meaning she was going to the Dark Fae. What she hoped to accomplish with that was beyond Lauren's comprehension. Had Bo forgotten that it had been the Dark Fae who'd abandoned Lou Ann in the first place? Had set her up for this fate? But despite that, Lauren could see that she was committed to this and that she wasn't giving up without a fight. And with Bo, most of the time, the fights end with casualties.

It worried her a lot, but mostly it frustrated her. Bo (and Kenzi) attracted trouble on a regular basis and she knew that their lives were "full of adventure", to say the least. Lauren knew that in some way, they enjoyed this kind of life too. Because who wouldn't enjoy that kind of life? They were free and their only responsibility was to the other person. Being unaligned, Bo could jump from Light to Dark and back again without consequences. But the same rules that Bo and Kenzi hated to be put under was the same thing that protected the fae. And without it, Bo was vulnerable. She could only do the things she does right now because the elders from both sides were ignoring her for the moment. And Lauren feared that this "crusade" Bo was on would only bring their negative attention to her.

It frustrated her that Bo was being stubborn and stupid, refusing to listen to reason and putting her life on the line for something like this. But mostly it frustrated her that she couldn't do much to help. Maybe she had gotten used to being Bo's "hero" or maybe this was just normal concern for a friend, but Lauren wanted to do something beyond arranging meetings with the Ash.

xxx

The next day, the Ash called for her to have a "chat". They walked around the compound for a while in silence, admiring the view of the gardens. In the past, the Ash had often used this "waiting game" technique to make her nervous and fidgety before he had even begun to speak. These days she was mostly immune to it and had learned to like the comfortable silence between them.

"Our little succubus is very persistent," he finally said. Lauren had a feeling that this would concern Bo, so she wasn't too surprised. That's when he dropped his bomb. "I know you've been helping her without my permission."

She looked at him quickly and tried to defend herself but he wasn't even interested in whatever she tried to stammer out. He continued, "I assume you've been getting close to her for the good of the Light Fae, yes?"

"Yes! Of course I have." It was true. She'd originally helped Bo knowing that it would earn her good points with the Ash should she manage to turn her to the Light Fae. It just wasn't the whole truth now.

However, the Ash proved that he was thinking several steps ahead as usual. "Good. And now we can use that relationship." She felt herself stiffen at that but fought not to show it. "The man Bo seeks is called Vex. He's a favorite of the Dark Fae. If Bo kills Vex, the Dark will kill Bo and I'm not ready for that until I know more about her."

Lauren let out a sigh of relief. If the Ash won't extend his protection over the convicted Dark Fae, he'll at least try with Bo. "Good. How can I help?" And this at last, something she could do, something to help Bo.

The Ash already had a plan. "I'll negotiate with the Morrigan to have Vex sent away. You will keep Bo on a leash until he is gone." At that, Lauren felt her frustration rise again and she couldn't help the plaintive tone of her voice. "How? I've tried to reason with her."

The Ash looked amused. "She's a succubus. If you want to keep her alive I'm sure you'll think of _some_ way to distract her." With that casual "encouragement", he walked away leaving Lauren blinking in surprise. This was actually not one she'd thought of before. She had thought to sleep with Bo and she had thought to rescue Bo from herself, but she hadn't thought to combine the two before.

It made sense in that ruthlessly practical way the Ash had. What better way to distract a succubus than sex? She sighed at that. It wasn't that she was against sex with Bo it was actually all she could think about some times (she's surprised Bo wasn't blinded yet by what her aura was projecting) but this way just seemed so... cheap. Lauren sighed again and started moving towards her lab. At least the Ash didn't say it as a direct order, only as a "suggestion". He didn't even say anything about sex, just about Bo being succubus. Maybe he meant, hire lots of prostitutes and have all of them jump Bo thereby creating a "distracting orgy"? Or she could just take Bo to a strip club and let her bask and relax in the charged up sexual atmosphere (hadn't she read somewhere that some succubi, when they do deign to get proper work, preferred jobs in the sex trade like stripping? Or was it called exotic dancing?). Anyway, she definitely had to go to Bo today and stop her from getting herself killed by the Dark Fae.

xxx

That night Lauren headed out to buy a Chinese take-out meal and some wine as part of her "Distract Bo" Plan. The plan had its first hitch when she realized getting back in her car that she had no idea where Bo's house was. She had to call Bo then, get its location and confirm that the owner was in residence (Kenzi wasn't and but Bo was).

When Lauren got there, she saw that Bo hadn't been joking when she called their clubhouse a "crap shack". It was in an isolated place, and looked like a haunted house from a horror story. The inside wasn't that much better but it was clear that Bo and Kenzi had tried to make it feel like home with their unique touches. Bo received her well enough and thanked her for the meal. They had dinner quietly, both just absorbing the others presence and occasionally commenting on some mundane thing.

Finally when the dishes were put aside, Bo poured them both another glass of wine and asked, "Why are you here Lauren? I got the feeling that you're not one to casually invite yourself over to someone's house."

Lauren took a quick breath in and just went straight to the point. "I heard your friend Lou Ann dropped her appeal and I thought you might not want to be alone right now." She took a seat near Bo and hesitated. It baffled her that Bo cared for this woman so much (she'd already heard that Bo originally thought Lou Ann might've something to do with her birth mother). She could understand that it was unfair for the woman to die for crimes she hadn't committed, but in a sense shouldn't she have already known that betraying the Dark would result in something like this? She was Dark Fae herself and an old one at that. She should already be familiar with how it all worked. If she had wanted to protect her human family then she should have left them alone, hard as it was to do. Or maybe she could've claimed them as hers, her wards (like Bo had claimed Kenzi). In the end it had been her choice to turn away from the fae, wanting to be human when she knew she couldn't. But she had gotten her wish too, hadn't she? The Dark treated her like a human, an expendable plaything they wouldn't bother to save (and they could easily make all this go away too, if they wanted to). Lauren could pity her for this.

But Bo's motivations confused her, so she asked. "You barely know this woman, why are you taking this so personally?"

"Because we both want the same things." she said without doubt, staring deep into Lauren's eyes. Bo sighed deeply and tried to explain, struggling with her emotions. "No matter how miserable I was, before you told me I was fae... at least I had hope back then that I could live a normal human life one day if I wanted to."

That surprised Lauren a little, although maybe it shouldn't have. Bo was raised as a human, it was only natural for her to have human desires of the picket fence and the 2.5 kids. When she said so, Bo looked frustrated, " I want to know that it's my choice to make. Not theirs. I mean, Lou made her choice and look at what they did to her. If I just let that go… if I let them get away with it then what chance do I have of living a life of my own? And who would want to live it with me?" The last line was said wryly, as though Bo had already begun to give up.

Something inside Lauren's chest woke up and expanded, filling her body with a nameless emotion. She wanted to hug Bo to her and promise her that everything would be alright; that she shouldn't worry about it because she could get whatever she wanted. Despite everything she'd already done, Bo was still the poor lost girl she had been when she first stumbled upon her fae heritage. There was an innocence in her that was beautiful and shining and something Lauren wanted badly to protect.

This was Bo at her most vulnerable and even in this state, she was still the bravest creature Lauren had ever known. Lauren was suddenly ashamed of her earlier thoughts regarding Bo. Bo wasn't a baby crying out because she couldn't get what she want. Bo knew what she wanted and she was prepared to fight for it, even if everyone told her it was a useless effort. For years Bo had been on the run, at the mercy of her uncontrollable nature. Now that she had finally learned to manage her powers, the Dark and Light were vying with each other to take that control away and put her under their mercy. But she was fighting back, fighting for her rights to her life and the way she wanted to live it. Where Lauren had given willingly up her own rights, Bo dared to have everything. It made her feel small and ungrateful.

As Bo stood to walk away, talking about finding who framed Lou Ann, Lauren found herself taking hold of the succubus' arm. "Wait."

And then she was kissing Bo and it was all the she had imagined and more. Bo's lips were soft but slightly rough making tingling sensations on her own lips. Her skin that she had touched so many times before seemed smoother than ever, warm and alive under her hands. Bo tried to stop them but she couldn't let her go now. She didn't want to stop but she had to allay Bo's fears too. She had to show Bo that she trusted her completely. So she let Bo stop the kiss and look into her eyes to see the truth there. Her wants, her needs, her faith in Bo. It was enough.

Lauren lost track of time then, unable to figure out how they made it to Bo's bed. She was only conscious of Bo herself, of her touch and her maddening kisses. But she did remember when her necklace had fallen on Bo's chest. They had paused as Bo took it in her hands. The quick pull startled her, as well as the slight pinching sensation at the back of her neck as the latch gave way. But Bo's words shadowed all of that. "Nobody owns you", she declared quietly but firmly before giving her another addictive kiss. How long had Lauren wanted to hear those words? For someone to reassure and remind her of that fact whenever she had felt down. She felt so grateful for Bo then that she wanted to cry but she settled instead at kissing every inch of the fae under her. It seemed that by removing the necklace, Bo had set her free, making her feel lighter than she felt in years.

xxx

When she woke up, slightly cold, the first thing Lauren saw was Bo. She would've smiled at her except it registered in her sluggish mind that Bo was fully dressed and tying her boots on. Bo greeted her with a kiss that she returned distractedly. Bo had said something about going to check on the Lou Ann situation some more and for her to go back to sleep but she couldn't concentrate on that. Bo was dressed and leaving. She had to stay with Lauren. It was important that she stayed because ... why was it important? Her mind was still too sluggish, dazed after their electric encounter.

"You have to stay." She managed to say.

Bo grinned a little at that, "I didn't figure you for clingy." But she seemed to sense Lauren's inner turmoil and asked gently, "What is it?"

Lauren tried to clear her mind and say something reasonable. Something that would make Bo stay with her. She had to protect Bo. "Just — please let this go, Bo. For me. Your revenge could start a damn war. I'm doing what I can, politically. I just need a few more hours..." It was the wrong thing to say, judging from Bo's falling expression.

"Is that why you're here with me? You're a diversion?"

Lauren hesitated and said, "Just hear me out. We have your best interests at heart..."

Bo cut her off at that, "We? Who's we?"

Another wrong thing to say. Lauren could see her getting upset, those chocolate eyes that had just looked at her with so much desire now looked disbelieving and outraged. She tried to calm the fae down but Bo wouldn't let her. She had moved away from the bed leaving Lauren to look up at her.

"Were you sent here?" Bo asked. Still Lauren tried to be calm, not to let the growing panic inside her infect her voice. "Let me explain..."

Bo cut her off again, angry now. "Were you sent here?" she demanded.

Lauren found herself nodding, "Yeah..." It's true the Ash sent her and but it wasn't what Bo was clearly thinking right now. Bo walked away from her and Lauren followed, almost stumbling from the tangled sheets that were her only defense against the creeping cold. "It's not what you think..."

"You have no idea what I think and less about what I feel or you could not have done this to me!" Bo gritted out, her voice so hurt that Lauren just wanted to take it all back and beg for forgiveness. Anything to erase that expression on Bo's face that was causing such havoc on her insides. But she couldn't because she had to protect Bo. (In the deepest part of her mind, the part that Lauren wasn't truly conscious of, she thought of Nadia and her failure to protect her girlfriend) The thought of Bo getting hurt, or dying was too much to bear especially after all that had just happened between them.

"I'm... I'm sorry! Goddamnit, Bo, I'm trying to protect you! I haven't done anything wrong." One more wrong thing to say. Lauren was truly panicking now and frustrated at her inability to say the right things to make Bo believe her.

At that, Bo came to her, standing close but careful not to touch her. "You are in my bed because he told you to be. Everything about that is wrong." Her face looked disgusted and Lauren wanted to tell her that she was wrong. The Ash may have suggested it, but it had been Lauren's choice. It had been her desires and her feelings that had pushed her into Bo's bed, not the Ash's planning. But Bo had turned away again, about to leave for good and Lauren had to try one more time.

"This is suicide! Vex is too strong for you!" She couldn't stop saying the wrong things.

"You know his name?... Where is he?"

Lauren stopped talking then, lest she make it worst (if it wasn't already). She just looked at Bo pleadingly, not wanting to drive Bo straight to harm's way. When it was clear that she wouldn't say anything, Bo turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" Lauren asked, voice wavering.

"I am going to get answers." Bo said, her passionate anger from before had been tempered to an icy rage. "I am through playing nice." Somehow, she noticed Lauren's necklace on the floor. She picked it up, stared at it for a second before throwing it back at Lauren's direction.

"Don't forget your dog collar."

That hurt so much, that Lauren had to gasp out. It was an instantaneous pain, like someone had shot a large hole in her middle and there was no shock to numb the ache. She couldn't help the involuntary move to hug herself tight, as though to contain such pain from spreading out. Bo couldn't have said a worse thing right now to Lauren, not after just reassuring her of the opposite earlier in bed. She felt her knees weaken and Lauren allowed herself to sink down on the cold, hard floor. She wanted to cry and shout out the agony she felt but she couldn't. She only felt so cold and so sad. She trembled heavily, clutching at her body still in an attempt to repress her pain.

When the trembling passed, she got dressed and left quickly. She had been tempted to leave her necklace behind but she figured Bo wouldn't want to see it. So she picked up her "dog collar" and put it back on. Bo was out looking for a dangerous fae and even though she hated Lauren right now, Lauren would still do all she could to protect her.

xxx

What Lauren did was look for Dyson. She was still a little panicky but the shock had finally fallen over her body and she was quickly becoming numb. She found him at the Dal, playing pool with Kenzi. She didn't even have to convince him, she just told him that she had done something wrong and that Bo was in danger. And then she watched him and Kenzi leave. They would succeed, Lauren thought. Because Dyson was a powerful warrior and Kenzi in her own way, was very strong too. Bo would listen to them and they would give her comfort and protection that she had been unable to give.

Trick tried to offer her his own brand of comfort but she wouldn't accept it. She had to go home soon before her hard won composure wore off.

xxx

Back in her own rooms, Lauren stood still in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. She could still faintly smell Bo on her skin and she was contemplating on whether she should leave it on, or take a shower now. Mostly, she was distracted by her image in mirror. She looked haggard. Her eyes looked a little glassy, her mouth turned down. Her shoulders were slumped and a little curled in. She was still shivering a little from the emotional trauma of the day. Her tired mind struggled with confusion as she gazed at herself. She couldn't quite understand why there was no gaping hole on her chest when she could feel it clearly, throbbing with every breath she took.

The numbness from earlier was disappearing, leaving her with all the pain she had been trying to repress. It was time to let go, now that she was alone in her place. No one would judge her here and she could cry to her heart's content. But Lauren didn't cry so easily these days. (When she first came to the fae, she found that she would cry easily as her emotions overwhelmed her. Gradually though, she tired of the constant crying and learned to handle her emotions better) She sighed heavily and finally moved away from the mirror. There was no wound for her to see. At least not the visible kind. But still she moved gingerly, aware that every small movement (every breath and twitch) caused waves of phantom pain in her body. She slowly removed her clothes and climbed to the shower.

As she washed herself (washed Bo away, and the entire night down into the drain), she thought of the things she should've said earlier to Bo. Things that would've convinced the succubus to let go of her revenge, or maybe just things that wouldn't make her hate Lauren. It was hard still, to remember the words from earlier. Her words, however unintentional, had hurt Bo. Bo's words were her retaliation against that pain. She could've lied to Bo but she hadn't. If Bo had just let her explain fully, but she wouldn't. All the "could haves" and "would haves" in the world wouldn't change a thing now, Lauren thought. And it would be so easy to get angry at Bo's stubbornness and hate her for the way things turned out, just because she wouldn't listen. But she wouldn't, because those characteristics of Bo were the ones she loved about her too.

Wait, what?

_Again, Belated Merry Christmas everybody! (and advance Happy New Year!) Thanks so much for reading the story and the constant support. (Best audience/reader ever. :D)_


	16. The mornings after

_Hey everybody, here's my new year's gift to all of you. Enjoy!_

25

The next morning, a very tired Lauren was summoned to the Ash's presence. She hadn't been able to sleep well last night after the catastrophic realization of her feelings and she looked liked she felt: wrung out and exhausted. The Ash took a look at her and got straight to the point. "You failed to distract the succubus."

She couldn't even muster a defense at that. With a slight shrug of her shoulders, Lauren murmured, "I am only human."

Thankfully, he nodded at that. "I understand. It is just as well that the Morrigan had forbidden her Mesmer from killing the succubus outright. She must have plans for her too." He regarded Lauren with what could only be called a fond expression (at least what passed for fond in his stoic face), "For all your talents, child, sometimes even I forget that you are human and cannot do everything."

It was high praise, coming from him and she let it lift her spirits a bit along with the news that Bo wasn't dead. (If she had died and Lauren had somehow caused it... It didn't bear thinking about) He continued, "You look tired. Are you unwell?"

He was being very good to her right now and for a quick second, Lauren had the urge to cry and tell him all her problems. She didn't do it of course, although she did feel grateful for his concern. "I wasn't able to sleep well last night, nothing more. And of course, Bo had fed from me too."

She remembered that moment clearly, Bo afraid but trusting Lauren's faith in her. Lauren had felt her life energy leave her (like sweetly flavored electricity in her mouth) and be absorbed into Bo as she exulted in the feeling. In that moment, they were connected at their basest levels. She was in Bo, nurturing her, giving her strength. And Bo had glowed with fierce, triumphant joy as she finally believed in herself and her control. It was beautiful... their whole encounter had been beautiful until she had ruined it. She dismissed the memory quickly before she really cried in front of the Ash.

He didn't seem to notice her wandering attention and spoke again. "The succubus had been able to feed on you successfully? I wasn't sure that she could really do it." And yet he had suggested that Lauren sleep with Bo. "But I had gambled that she would have affections for you and be able to control herself." Of course, he thought of everything. But he still wasn't finished. "I find myself surprised that she is able to handle herself this well after only a couple of months of training. Succubi generally train to control their powers for years."

Lauren felt that she should defend Bo a little. "Bo is not so young and she has a very strong will. The medications would've helped too in suppressing much of her hormones."

He gave her another one of his inscrutable looks and said, "I see. Good work, child. You may go now." She bowed a little and left.

xxx

Lauren checked her projects when she got in the lab but there were nothing immediate that required her attention. So she left for Nadia's chamber, with clear instructions that no one should bother her for less than a critical alert.

When she saw the outline of Nadia's body inside the pod, something heavy dropped in Lauren's chest. "Oh." she gasped out, grabbing hard at the pod with both hands. "Oh babe, I'm so sorry."

This was something she never, ever thought would happen, this heavy feeling in her heart right now. She never believed that Nadia could ever feel like a burden. It crushed something inside her. "Oh Nadia."

For five years, Lauren endured the isolation, the discrimination, the hardships and never once had she considered Nadia a burden. She had felt resentment sometimes yes, but more at the situation rather than Nadia herself. Nadia was the innocent in all this and now... "I am so sorry." And she was sorry, wasn't she? This was what she had struggled with all night. However much she tried to deny it, she couldn't change the fact that she had somehow fallen for Bo. What she had thought as only lust had become love without her knowledge or permission. It was just an another complication adding to an already complicated life. And anyway, how does one tell their unconscious girlfriend that they've developed feelings for another girl? She just felt so ashamed and guilty about it.

"Babe, do you remember that fae I've been telling you about? The succubus named Bo? I slept with her last night. I... It was only supposed to be sex like the other times before, but somehow I've ... I..." Lauren sighed. It was so hard to have to say this out loud and acknowledge it but she'd never withheld anything from Nadia before. "I love her. I didn't mean to and I never even realized it until last night. I..." What could she say to make this right? Promise not to love Bo? If it was that easy, then she wouldn't have bothered telling Nadia in the first place. "It doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore, though!" Lauren hurried to reassure her, feeling stupid for not doing that sooner (for almost forgetting to do it). "I do love you babe, of course I do. I always miss you and I still wake up every day hoping this will be the day you'll wake up too." And Lauren did feel like that. She was still waiting for Nadia and still hoping that every day would be the day she could take her girlfriend in her arms and hold her tightly.

But five years was a long time and even though she has photos and some video clips of Nadia, it wasn't the real thing. Her memory of her girl had faded in time and sometimes it was hard for her to remember certain events, certain quirks in personality. (They were together for almost three years but now they've been apart for longer) What hadn't changed was the way she felt. She remembered clearly how Nadia's presence had made her heart beat just a little bit harder, how she smiled just a little bit bigger and how the rooms always seemed a little bit brighter with her in it. Her heart had remembered even if her brain couldn't. Until today, when it had seen fit to betray her by letting another one in.

If Lauren tried, she could still rationalize these feelings. Bo was superficially like Nadia in some ways: outgoing, a little bit of a hero mentality and they both loved to pull her out her shell. But she knew it wouldn't work for long because they were very different too. Nadia had grown up confident in herself and in her abilities. She took on the world with this attitude, certain and firm in her beliefs. Bo had been running from herself for years. She carried in her a deep vulnerability that she tried to hide most of the time with her innate sensuality and she'd only shown her true self to the few people she trusted. (And until yesterday night, Lauren had been one of those trusted few. It sent another twinge of pain in her heart before she could push the thought away)

She turned to look at Nadia again but she had no words left. What else was left to say? Should she reassure her that Fae-Human relationships were forbidden? Maybe she could promise to try and use magic to somehow erase these emotions, or maybe just to let herself forget about them? It was ridiculous. None of these words could possibly make up for this accidental betrayal.

Besides, Bo hated her now. And although the thought of that made her heart feel like it was getting squeezed for pulp, Lauren clung to it because it was still easier that way. With Bo hating her, then maybe her feelings for the succubus would go away sooner. Bo would be sure to avoid her and if she didn't see her, there would be no more adding fuel to the fire right? (And Bo had better control of her powers now- as evidenced by last night's activities - that they wouldn't need to continue the lessons anymore) When their paths eventually crossed (it was inevitable in this small community), they could just be professional and ignore what had happened before. (Lauren just gritted her teeth as the thought of a coldly uncaring Bo sent another wave of pain to her heart - this time of the stabbing sensation variety)

She would get over this. She had to because she was never leaving Nadia.

xxx

Lauren's resolve lasted all of two days as she tried to ignore all thoughts of Bo or her feelings about her. (Keyword being "tried". She wasn't successful at all) She pretended that nothing had changed in her life and went about her day as usual treating the fae of their illnesses and reporting to the Ash. It was easy to go back to this routine, especially since no one was popping in at the lab at odd hours of the day (i.e. Bo). And while it felt a little duller than usual, this was something familiar and comfortable for Lauren. Hale came by to have some more evidence processed and lingered to gossip a bit. Lauren learned from him (which he'd learned directly from Kenzi) that Bo had been gutted by her own knife in the fight, but managed to break away from the Mesmer's control and turn the tables on him. If it hadn't been for Dyson and Kenzi's arrival, she would've killed him with a magic unicorn sword (Kenzi's wording, she assumed. It was probably the Syracon). When she inquired on Bo's condition, Hale assured her the succubus was already up and about with no lasting damage.

After Hale had left, Lauren found herself distracted from her work. She finally gave in and called Bo herself, just to reassure herself that the fae was alright. Even if Bo hated her, she was still her doctor and it was her duty to tend to all her patients. Bo didn't answer the first call, or the second one hours later. She didn't answer the third one too, the next day. She also didn't answer all 6 messages that she'd sent. Finally, Lauren gave up and decided that Bo was healthy if she could actively ignore Lauren.

It didn't ease the hurt though, once she realized that Bo was ignoring her. She'd expected it, had tried to prepare herself for it, but was still caught by surprise by the amount of pain she felt at such simple snubbing. However, it also made her think.

She still considered Bo a friend (despite her feelings for her) and Lauren was beginning to think that if she could somehow salvage that friendship then ... She had so few friends already and she didn't want to lose more of them. Bo never had to know of her feelings (she could read lust, not love in auras, so she should be safe from the succubus' powers) and she... well, she'd just have to suck it up. Wasn't this her original plan anyway? To get the sexual tension out of the way so they could be good friends. (She just hadn't counted on the "other" feelings to blindside her)

It would probably be torture for her and more unnecessary pain for her future, but Bo's friendship was worth it, she was sure of that. And she owed Bo, for ruining her trust and damaging their relationship. She owed her amends and she couldn't just run away from that. If nothing else, she should at least give her a proper explanation for what had happened that night. She couldn't let Bo continue to feel that everything had been a lie, perpetrated by the Ash. She should know that Lauren cherished that memory and that she hadn't regretted anything except the way it ended.

To make all these things happen, her feelings for Bo would just have to take a back seat until they completely disappeared. And they should disappear if she just ignored them. They would have to because her life was bound to Nadia's and there was no place in her heart for Bo in it.

xxx

On La Shoshain, the holiest of all the fae holy days, Lauren was given the day off. This wasn't usually the case these last few years. Her first three years with the fae, she had been left alone on La Shoshain while everyone went to town "partying" (read: bacchanalian orgies) with the other side. (In fact, after La Shoshain, it was not unheard of for fae children to be born with parents from opposing clans. Lauren had found out that there had been rules already in place for such occurrences. Fae children stayed and were raised by a parent for a year, alternating with the other parent for the next year until they reach their majority and choose a side. After which they relinquish all inheritance from the side they "abandon" as part of the central idea that La Shoshain revolved around on: sacrifice. This was usually a good way to keep the bloodlines "fresh" and at times more powerful) Lauren generally spent these special days with Nadia, hanging out in her chamber with the books and scrolls she'd been studying, or just watching TV. (Although she did attend a small party at the Dal once, out of curiosity, after she'd met the real Blood King)

For the last two years though, Lauren had been deemed acceptable into fae polite society and was brought along as part of the Ash's entourage as he attended several festivities. She had witnessed her share of various respectable fae "letting their hairs down" and getting wild and wacky during this "holy" day. Light mingled with Dark freely, all animosities and differences forgotten for the day. In fact, last year she could swear that she saw a giggly (!) Morrigan and a smiley (!) Ash disappear together from the party that they've attended. She just couldn't be one hundred percent sure because a) she was already tipsy from the overflowing mead and b) a slinky Dark Fae was doing her best to seduce her. (Incidentally, she had been Lauren's third conquest with the fae)

This year, there would be no festivals to attend and the only party was made up of two people: Lauren and Nadia. She had decided that it was time that she "hung out" with her girlfriend because it had been a while since she did it properly. So for her day off from all fae, Lauren camped out on Nadia's chamber. It had already been installed with a TV and sound system previously but over the years, she had added a DVD player that was later replaced by a Blu-ray one. The TV and the speakers had doubled in size and although, she had found herself hanging out in that room less and less over time, the technology continued to improve.

As Lauren cued the first movie she'd picked for "their" marathon today, glancing at the complicated remote control, she could admit that Dyson has cause for resentment. Although she didn't have a formal salary, she received a monthly allowance that had grown generous over the years (not that she ever really used it for herself - she didn't even have her own car and she wasn't big on shopping. Mostly it was donated to various human charities to assuage her guilt of having essentially "abandoned" her kind). Being the Ash's favored ward meant being showered with expensive and top of the line items most of the time. It also meant that she had a direct line to the tech department, that was responsible for incorporating fae magic into human technology. She got the newest gadgets for the lab (she could even commission one if she was struck with an idea that could help with her medical work) and any other "toys" she wanted for her personal research was fully accommodated.

It had always made her feel giddy, whenever she got a new gadget from the tech labs. Like a geek with a new toy, she liked to play with it immediately and then gush to Nadia about how the new tech worked so much better than the old tech. (She often got smug whenever her new toys would spout of readings that no other doctor in the human world would be able to read or understand) Today, seeing the big TV and the fancy video player, she couldn't summon the effort to feel satisfaction. Instead she remembered how the clubhouse had boasted its own 40" flat screen TV with a complicated looking sound system and comprehensive gaming consoles. It was something that had roused her curiosity seeing such luxurious items in a decidedly poor household. She didn't think that Bo made a lot of money yet and she suspected that Kenzi had a hand in "procuring" the said items. At the thought of the quirky, outspoken girl, Lauren gave an involuntary grin. Her thoughts though didn't linger though, and jumped to its real target: Bo.

The person she promised she wouldn't think about at all this day was occupying her mind again. (Not that she'd ever left because Lauren had thought of Bo on and off for the last 5 days since she'd last seen her) She had broken down again and called her a couple more times with no response. And by now, Lauren had felt surprised that Bo still wouldn't speak to her. She thought that maybe the succubus would've answered her phone by now if only to yell at her a little but there was still nothing... Sometimes she would think that Bo couldn't speak to her because the kind of hurt she felt was the kind that was not easily dismissed. The one that said she had similar feelings for Lauren... That was a very dangerous thought that Lauren struggled to put away forever. Instead, she concentrated on the immediate problems for now.

It was becoming clear by now that the original plan to avoid/ignore Bo until her feelings "dissipated" (Plan A) was not going to work, as she couldn't let go so easily of the friendship they've formed. But it was also becoming clear that Plan B of regaining said friendship and keeping all "non-friendly" feelings repressed couldn't work when Bo won't even let her explain her side of the story. Lauren fought the urge to sigh again and tried to concentrate on the movie again. She wasn't supposed to think about Bo today and she was going to stick to that. (She very carefully did not think of the fact that La Shoshain was about sacrifice and being with Nadia right now felt somewhat like it)


	17. Of Anger and Heartbreak

26

The three weeks since her night with Bo, she was only able to see the succubus twice and then only because it was "official" business. It seemed like Plan A was back in action, despite her wishes.

The first time she saw Bo was about a week after La Shoshain. After she had tried calling again and got no reply as usual, she eventually gave up. (Before she gave up, Lauren had considered calling Kenzi to check on Bo but she didn't have the girl's number. She had almost asked Hale for it but stopped herself in time) Lauren hadn't seen Bo for over two weeks now so when the succubus finally called to tell her that she was coming down for a consult on a new case, she was almost beside herself. It had been like taking a direct shot of espresso to her veins and everything Lauren had been repressing and pondering and agonizing over the past days were suddenly prominent in her mind again, confusing and distracting her. But mostly it was the thought of seeing Bo again, (finally!) that made her heart flutter madly. She struggled mightily to bring herself back to a semblance of calm. It wasn't easy but she did it with sheer force of will and utilizing the great patience she had developed living with the fae.

Lauren made herself study the evidence sent to her earlier, concentrating on the details of it so she could present Bo with something useful (she badly wanted to be useful to Bo again). She was able to master herself before Bo finally came a couple of hours later and managed to present a decent professional mask that hid her naked feelings.

It was a good thing too because the moment she saw Bo, she knew that the succubus hadn't forgotten a single bit of their argument that night. Like Lauren, Bo must've prepared her own mask of indifference too in preparation to seeing her, but unlike Lauren, Bo's mask was weak. Her whole body choreographed her tumultuous feelings to the doctor: her expressive eyes were dark and cold, her whole stance was guarded and slightly aggressive and that luscious mouth (that she had kissed again and again and hadn't been able to get enough of) was flat and rigid with stress.

Bo's voice too was tight and abrupt when she finally spoke. She went straight to the point, ignoring Lauren's overtures. It was clear that she was only here for business and certainly not for Lauren. Lauren struggled with that a little, her mask slipping a bit. It was so hard not to just cry out to Bo and pour her heart out and it was harder still that Bo was so cold and unyielding. (The hole in her heart felt simultaneously empty and achy)

And then when Lauren gave up and just spouted business, Bo made a pointed dig at her.

"Not so sure I trust your judgement on sexual matters."

"Pardon?" she asked, confused but willing to engage with Bo. Maybe they could hash it all out now.

"I mean, let's say hypothetically that one party thought the connection was real, and then found out that the other party was just manipulating them into bed to impress their controlling asshat of a boss."

Lauren's brain stuttered at the idea that Bo felt that connection between them too but it recovered quickly to point out to her that the succubus probably meant friendship, not love. (She couldn't mean love because that was not allowed at all, no matter what) Her reply was less than diplomatic and almost callous. "Bo, do you really think that we weren't headed that way on our own, anyway?" (Sure, remind her what we had before I ruined it)

Bo didn't hesitate to call her out on it, her voice a mixture of derision and disappointment. "I think that you ruined any chance of us finding out, and I think that's very shitty." And then she turned away, intent on leaving with those last words.

Frustrated at still not being able to explain herself, Lauren burst out trying to stop Bo from leaving. "I don't know how many different ways I can tell you that I'm sorry... Bo, if you just let me explain!"

Bo didn't look back. "Kenzi's waiting for me, I gotta go."

xxx

The second time she saw Bo was an accident. Lauren had been keeping busy the last few days, (still trying not to think of Bo) and working on research projects when the news about Dyson's "dilemma" reached her. Hale had more or less barged into the lab, a little frantic as he passed her the evidence for Dyson's arrest. She had gathered the story quickly from the distressed siren: Dyson was being accused of killing a Dark Fae named Ba'al, a former enemy of his. Apparently, there was a human witness that saw a wolf attack Ba'al and now the Dark was clamoring for Dyson's blood. The catch though, was that Dyson seemed to have no memories of the night except waking up bathed in Ba'al's blood.

The Ash had called them in almost as soon as Hale got the story out but he didn't see them together. He called Hale in first and then Lauren. She had been a bit surprised at that and a little more surprised to see an almost deflated siren come out. Before she could ask him about it, the Ash was already calling her in.

It didn't take long for Lauren to sense that the Ash was in a mood. It had been something that she had developed years before as a form of survival method, an almost sixth sense regarding the Ash and his moods. She liked to think that by now, she had sufficient knowledge to "know" his thoughts and feelings, based on the micro expressions that passed on his stoic face. This time, his mood was ranging from irritated to downright pissy, judging by the muscle twitching every so often on his jaw. No wonder Hale lost all his animation. Besides the small cues she got from his face and stance, his overall attitude screamed serious business and the atmosphere in his office was heavy.

"You will assist the siren in this case about _Dyson_'s crime," the special emphasis on the wolf's name was subtle but identifiable. "...and make it your first priority from now on. I expect to be informed as soon as you have relevant information. Dismissed."

She hated to do it but she had to. "Sir..." She waited until he turned to her again, clearly impatient. He made an abrupt gesture for her to continue. She swallowed and spoke quickly. "I would need to get samples from Dyson himself to make a proper match with the evidence found from the crime scene... you haven't mentioned anything about him yet?"

At that, the Ash stiffened a little. He visibly forced himself to relax and everything became clearer to Lauren as he finally explained his tension. "Unfortunately Dr. Lewis, you will have to do your best without him in the mean time. He has barricaded himself at the Dal and asked for its sanctuary. Unless he gives himself up, neither I nor the Dark can touch him."

"I see." Lauren left promptly then, anxious not to stir his anger once more.

xxx

Upon getting back to her lab, Lauren abandoned her current projects and concentrated solely on processing the evidence for Dyson's case. She skipped sleep to ensure that the testing would proceed quickly and efficiently, constantly re-checking to ensure their accuracy.

It didn't help that even safely ensconced in her lab, she could still feel the Ash's bad mood pervading the atmosphere (the whole compound could feel his mood and had become tense and irritable themselves) and she felt the unseen pressure to do a better job than usual (Lauren had momentarily forgotten that she always gave 300% for any job that she took on).

Also adding to her stress was the fact that there was too few evidence to start with and however creative she got, they weren't enough to give conclusive proof of Dyson's innocence. She needed him physically for that. Still, she had promised and so after giving her meager report to the Ash, she went to see Hale to pass the news.

Bo had been the last thing in her mind when she went and so she was more than surprised to see the succubus hanging out at Hale's desk. Her stupid heart tried to give a leap while her brain quickly tried to tackle it down, resulting in a crashing sensation in her chest as she saw her (love) friend. The slight stinging feeling in her chest intensified when Bo greeted her with cold sarcasm. It only abated when the fae grudgingly apologized. And then Hale's unwelcome curiosity and her body reminded her that she was tired and have had no sleep yet, so whatever drama she was feeling was drowned out in a wave of fatigue. She was here to do her job, not spar with Bo.

She did her best, presenting her inconclusive results but she could see that Hale and Bo were less than pleased with it. She reiterated her need for Dyson himself but before she could continue, Bo was already interrupting.

"No. Not happening. He leaves that bar, he's fair game."

Lauren fought for patience at Bo's combative attitude. She knew that the succubus cared greatly for her friends and was fiercely loyal to them (she refused to consider the fact that Bo was defending Dyson this passionately because she felt intensely for him. That wasn't the point right now. She had no right to feel hurt at this) but it was very hard with all her contradictory feelings.

"Dyson and I haven't always been on the best of terms... " from the corner of her eye, Lauren could see Hale nodding thoughtfully at this. "... but I am actually trying to help here."

And it was true. She wanted to help Dyson even though the guy was a prick to her most of the time because she didn't believe that he would be that stupid to kill someone right outside of a club full of people. But it was also true that Dyson had undermined the Ash's authority by going to Trick of all people for protection instead of coming to his true liege (and he was talking about his fealty just a little while back!). She could understand why, knowing Trick's true identity, but to the rest of the fae he had just picked the way station bartender over the leader of the Light. It made him suspect, and there was a lot of resentment and confusion over his choices right now at the compound.

As she tried to explain some of the obstacles that she was facing to Bo, she could already see that the succubus was too impatient for it. There was no way that she would truly understand the political undercurrents in Dyson's problems if Lauren had tried to explain it - undercurrents that were part of a normal fae's life. And even if she could, Lauren knew that Bo would have no patience for them too. For a second she both hated and envied Bo's naiveté but then another wave of tiredness passed over her and she had to blink herself awake. Her role was done here. She would have to go back to the lab and continue re-testing the evidence. She was also expecting to receive the report from the medical examiner of the Dark Fae to find out what "proof" they were offering to convict Dyson.

"I'll keep working on it." Lauren sighed and walked away without looking back. This time she truly did not care on whether Bo was looking at her retreat or not.

xxx

A couple of days after Dyson was finally exonerated of all charges made by the Dark, Lauren became aware of a disturbance in her clinic. Following that last meeting with Bo, she had decided to bury herself in research and was determined to ignore all thoughts of the succubus. Lauren wasn't stupid and it was clear that Bo would have nothing to do with her right now. While she didn't like it, she had to respect Bo's wishes even if that wish was to never see her again. (Although she still had hope that wouldn't be the case, there was also a small matter of her pride: like any other normal person, Lauren didn't take rejection very well. She might not want to feel love for Bo but it didn't make it hurt any less to be disregarded)

In the mean time, she was distracting herself with the never ending work in the clinic and was mostly successful at it. It was why it took her almost until the end of the day before she realized that there was something wrong in the usual work flow of her staff. Distracted by a clanging noise, Lauren lifted her eyes from the umpteenth slide she had been studying in the microscope. She blinked a couple of times, adjusting to normal view and the first thing that caught her attention was a frowning harpy nurse.

Jill wasn't a cheerful person on a normal day (being a harpy, nobody took that against her - although it was an odd choice to have a medical career as their kind usually gravitated to punisher roles) but she looked positively thunderous today. Lauren usually have good relations with her staff and so she wasn't afraid to inquire now. "Jill" she called out softly, making the harpy turn to her with a glare. Jill then seemed to remember that Lauren was her boss and softened her regard. "Sorry Dr. Lewis. I didn't mean to disturb you."

She shook her head slowly, "No, not at all. I could use a break." Lauren paused a little and with a sincere voice she voiced her query. "Is something the matter? You look a little out of sorts."

The nurse grimaced at that but she didn't apologize again. Instead she tried to prevaricate. "It's nothing Dr. Lewis, some personal problems that I shouldn't have brought to work."

At that, Lauren hesitated. She got on well with her staff but they had never been that close as to share personal experiences. They could share idle gossip once in a while or go out for some drinks after a hard day at work but no one truly confided anything of import. (There were several reasons for this but two of the major ones were because she's the boss and the other because she's human) She weighed the pros and cons quickly in her mind and decided she could at least try to reach out. If she got shot down, then she'd leave it alone. If it could help solve whatever tension was infecting the workplace, then all the better.

"If there's something, anything I can do to help?... "

Jill hesitated but it was clear that she wanted to vent. Her grip on the metal tray that she was still holding flexed continuously, a sign of her agitation. Still, she didn't say anything so Lauren prodded a bit more. Perhaps she could start with an innocent subject. "I noticed that Sabrina isn't here today? Is she sick?" Sabrina was another nurse in the clinic and Jill's best friend.

The reaction she got was more extreme than she expected. Jill slammed the metal tray back at the table with a bang, rattling its contents and startling her. "No. No she's not sick. Well, not physically sick but heart sick."

Lauren blinked in confusion. "Romance problems?" But last she knew, Sabrina was still... no actually, Jill too was pining for... wait...

Jill blurted out her thoughts. "Dyson has picked a mate."

Lauren swayed a little as her vision temporarily blurred. She barely managed to remain upright in her seat and managed to grab the table's edge. Jill didn't notice. Now that she'd started venting, she couldn't stop. "It's the main rumour going on these days. Usually we just ignore it because Dyson's always been a lady's man and there's always been rumours of him settling down but we saw them this week at the Dal. He was with that succubus and he looked smitten. Sabrina read his aura and you know she's an _erotes_, she confirmed it ... heck she fed from them! ... " Lauren tuned the other woman out, temporarily surprised. She'd forgotten what type of fae Sabrina was. She was in essence, Bo's counterpart: where Bo dealt with lust, Sabrina dealt with love. She could read auras and feed from them. By now, Sabrina would've sensed her frustrated love but she doubted the fae would feed from her. As she recalled, Sabrina came from the _Anteros_ line, meaning she preferred to feed on "requited love". Hers would not have been appealing to the fae but apparently Bo and Dyson's were.

Jill was still talking and Lauren made an effort to concentrate on her again but it was very hard. Her body felt like it was tearing itself. One half wanting so badly to stay in the compound with Nadia, the other half wanting to run screaming out the door to fight for Bo.

"... I don't even know what he's thinking. She's a succubus, god's sakes and he's a wolf! There's no future there."

Lauren amazed herself with how calm her voice still sounded despite the agony running through her. "I see your point. Their very natures would make having a relationship very difficult..."

"Try impossible!" Jill interrupted before going on another rant about how there were many other women available out there. Lauren let her talk it out, nodding and making agreeing noises at various times until finally Jill ran out of steam.

She looked a little sheepish but her eyes were still fierce. "I'm sorry about that Dr. Lewis, I didn't mean to go off like that on you..."

Lauren shook her head, her voice still maintaining its calmness. It was like a ventriloquist trick, where she was both puppeteer and puppet at the same time. "It was nothing Jill. I'm glad I could be here for you when you needed someone to listen."

Jill was still embarrassed but she was still fae and older than Lauren. Her natural grace returned and with a simple nod, she accepted Lauren's kindness. "Thank you Doctor." She paused thinking and then added, "I'm glad that you're with us today, Dr. Lewis and I'm glad we took a chance on you. You're a very good doctor and chief."

That brought a real smile to Lauren's lips as she basked in the unexpected praise. She knew that her staff liked and respected her but it was only shown through their actions and very rarely into words. Jill's appreciation was a small balm to her aching heart. "It's almost the end of the day. Why don't you leave early and leave the clean up to me? I still have to finish some work over here..." Lauren gestured at her microscope.

Jill smiled at her again and with another small thank you, left Lauren alone with her thoughts.

It wasn't until Lauren felt wetness on her hands that she realized she was still staring at the door where Jill had passed through and that she had started crying. She wiped her tears gently, moving slowly against the stiffness that she felt. It felt like her body was too tight, too full to bursting as it tried to contain all her emotions. It was over. They hadn't even begun but it was already over.

Lauren gasped out loud and let out a big sob. The next one almost choked her, but she just gulped in more air as she finally cried her feelings out. This had been a long time coming and much needed release of her emotions. She hadn't cried yet since discovering her love for Bo (and betraying Nadia) because she had gotten used to repressing her feelings, but this was something she cannot repress anymore. Lauren literally broke down in the middle of the clinic, bonelessly sliding out of her chair and onto the cold hard floor as she cried her heart out. It was like the early days again, when she hadn't been used to crying yet. Every sob seemed to rip out of her, every tear squeezed out of her eyes dragged painful tracks on her face. It was an ugly cry and Lauren didn't care. She let herself be overwhelmed as she finally let go.

She cried in relief, for Dyson has effectively taken her temptation away; she cried in despair as she pitied herself; she cried in anguish for losing something that was never hers to begin with; she cried for Nadia, for their circumstances, for her love, no matter the recipient. Lauren cried until she tired of it, and then she picked herself up, clutching at her jagged self determined to start over. Bo wasn't meant for her despite what her heart said and she had to let her go for all their sakes. And she will. (Goodbye love)


	18. Part 1: Under Siege

_This chapter was too long so I decided to post it in two parts. Enjoy!_

27

Lauren expected to feel either constant pain or numbness again after her breakdown but she found that the crying actually helped. She thought it may be part of the grief process and that she had stunted her progress by denying herself the opportunity to truly mourn, but now she might just be finally able to really move on. At any rate, she didn't feel like a walking wounded anymore and although thoughts of Bo still stung, they weren't crippling and she didn't ignore them either.

Of course just when she thought she might have some peace for a while Bo called her up, asking to meet. She was very tempted to refuse her at first, aware that at this point, she was at an important crossroad in her life. Lauren had survived without Bo for over a month and she knew that she could live without the succubus in her life. It would be painful and hard, but in the end she knew she could do it, if she wanted to. She only had to be strong now and refuse Bo, ignore her like she had been ignored all this time.

She even had a good reason not to entertain Bo. Last night while she had been sleeping, they had brought in the body of a Light Fae elder that had died from a stab wound. She had been woken to perform the autopsy and confirm cause of death. The Ash had decided to call in a meeting this afternoon to deal with the matter and she needed to complete her report before that happened. She didn't have time for Bo and her problems right now.

But Bo's voice on the phone had been pleading and slightly desperate. She sounded like she really needed Lauren's help, and Lauren couldn't resist her. She never really could, even after all that she'd been through. Besides, Bo had also asked her a curious question something about how to fight a succubus. Was she learning how to properly defend herself or had she met a hostile one? She didn't have to wait long for an answer because Bo was there in less than an hour.

Bo was there in the clinic and for a moment Lauren allowed herself to daydream and imagine that nothing had changed, that Bo was here for her lessons and her injections. And they would flirt gently and talk and be good friends. But then Kenzi was there and waving her an only-slightly-insincere-cheerful hello. Lauren was brought back to the present and she gestured at them.

"Hello Bo. Hello Kenzi." Before the other two could finish their hellos in return, Lauren was already moving. Already, just a short glimpse of Bo was causing a small havoc at her insides. She was determined not to lose control today and for that, she needed to be distracted. Luckily for her, she had an urgent job to do. "Walk with me to the lab."

They had no choice but to follow her and Lauren tried to explain why she was in a rush today. The dead body that Kenzi immediately found interesting was her visual aid. (She did notice how Kenzi hadn't seem all that bothered seeing a dead body and it made her wonder how the other human was coping with her introduction and immersion to the fae world. Probably better than hers, which made Lauren a bit envious)

Lauren reached for the clipboard that a nurse held out for her and quickly jotted more notes on it. She was about to describe how the elder died when Bo butted in. "...by a succubus?"

She looked at the fae curiously. "By something sharp and pointy," she raised the blanket for another quick look at the wound, "I have to get my report into the high elders this afternoon. Just standard procedure but a mountain of paperwork." As she finished signing the clipboard form, she handed it back to the nurse along with a brisk order, "Go." She watched them wheel the body of the elder away but Bo was still focused on her. Lauren had no choice but to look at her now.

"So you can't help me then?" Bo asked, uncertain and tense at the same time.

Lauren shrugged, quickly putting her hands back in her lab coat's pockets. It helped hide her closed fists as she tried not to let their trembling too obvious to the succubus who was causing them. "I just don't think I understand. What succubus are you so afraid of facing?" In spite of her anxiety with Bo, she couldn't help the curiosity in her voice.

"It doesn't matter. I just need to learn how to protect myself from her. How do succubi fight one another?"

Lauren ignored Kenzi's ridiculous suggestions (Crotch lasers? Really?) and although she could see how important this question was to Bo, she regretted that she had no ready answer for her. Instead she said, "I suppose I could ask the Ash..."

The suggestion was shot down immediately as she knew it would. "No. Can we just keep this between us for now, until I know more?" Bo looked earnestly at her, their eyes meeting. It was so different from the other times they've met, when the fae could barely look at her.

"Alright, I'll see what I can find out." Lauren agreed to help, because she couldn't not. However, she also couldn't help herself. "On one condition, that afterwards you and I finally have that talk and you let me explain myself." It was a risky move, "blackmailing" Bo again. Hadn't all this trouble began because she tried to trade a favor from Bo on the strength of their relationship? But this time she was going to help Bo, not hinder her from doing something dangerous so it should be okay.

"I've missed you." Lauren added, unable to stop the words from getting out. Three simple words that conveyed more than she could.

Bo hesitated but whatever trouble she's in right now seemed more important than her grudge. She agreed. "Okay, deal." Lauren breathed deeply in relief and allowed herself to give Bo a small smile. (She didn't even register Kenzi making her excuses to leave) This hadn't been her plan, but for now Lauren could wait and see how it comes out. Even if it took a long time she couldn't give up hope that maybe she and Bo could really be just friends.

xxx

All thoughts of Bo left her mind a couple of hours later because her world collapsed under her feet. (Or maybe the word should be "exploded". To say that her world exploded had a better ring to it, but then maybe she shouldn't be making terrible puns right now either)

They heard the explosion all that way to the lab that afternoon. Lauren had managed to finish her report in time for the High Elder meeting and she had begun to research on the information that Bo needed. Fortunately, most of the information on the succubi had already been digitalized so she hadn't needed to go to the library herself. She had just begun to read the information on the Koushan pendant when the noise startled all of them. And then the alarms went off and for a second, she had frozen in place, uncertain of what to do next.

But her staff was well trained and already they were moving towards their positions in cases of emergency. Lauren only had to look at them to remember where her duties lie. It wasn't long before the alarms were shut off and the first news trickled down to them. There had been an attack on the compound. As far as they could ascertain, a bomb had triggered an explosion in the South Wing and every medical personnel was needed on the double.

Everyone rushed out quickly, grabbing medical kits and cots as they hurried to the damaged wing. Lauren went with them but her body was only moving automatically. As soon as the guard mentioned the South Wing, her brain had stuttered to a halt. The High Elders' meeting was being held in the South Wing but it couldn't be. He couldn't...

There was no time for panicking as they arrived quickly at the site of explosion and Lauren breathed deeply willing her professional mask on. There was a crisis now and she was the Chief Medical Officer. She would need to set an example for her people and lead them all until the crisis has passed. Her calm almost cracked when she saw him. He was near the door, lying face down in the smoking debris of the ruined room. (Later, Lauren will note the curious position as she remembered that his usual chair was situated farther in the room. He must've somehow tried to rush the bomber that had come in through the door) Lauren was aware that some elders were less injured than others, having escaped farther into the room and her staff was already working on them. She herself, only had eyes for the Ash.

She kneeled quickly and felt for a pulse. It took her a couple of tense seconds before she found one and it made her heart leap to her throat. "He's alive! Let's get him to the lab now!" A couple of her staff that had lingered nearby leapt to action. Within minutes the Ash was on a gurney and settled with a temporary IV and oxygen mask. They ran as quick as they could without jostling him back to the lab, with Lauren tensely checking out his numerous injuries.

"Come on get him in the lab! Move! Move! What's his status?"

"He's crashing!"

"Shit!" Without thinking about it, Lauren jumped onto the gurney, right on top of the Ash, to start compressions. She didn't even realize that she had started muttering, "Alright, come on hang in there. Don't you dare die on me..."

They were able to stabilize his condition soon and Lauren was once again amazed at his strength. If he was an ordinary fae, he would be dead by now. But he had survived a bomb blast and he was still hanging on (inside, Lauren was very thankful for his Obsidian ancestry which was most probably the only reason he was still alive). It would make do for now as she reluctantly left him to deal with the other injured elders.

It was only after she'd finally gathered what had really happened (a suicide bomber? How could the guards be so careless as to let him get so near to the Ash?) that she realized how this may have something to do with Bo. It was not a truly rational thought because if pressed, she won't be able to state her reasons why the recent events connected with Bo, but she felt it strongly nonetheless and it made her worry. It was only added stress to what was already a very stressful day. (She took the opportunity to take a small break during a lull in the mayhem at the lab)

As she couldn't possibly handle all the medical needs of all the injured right now in her lab, she had to send some of them to other nearby fae doctors. It was further complicated by the fact that there were all high profile fae and that an attack like this made everybody nervous. As captain of the guards, Serena had taken temporary helm of the leadership and was ordering an evacuation of all important Light Fae to safe houses in case there were other attacks planned.

That was why when Bo came into the lab (with Kenzi in tow), Lauren breathed a big sigh of relief to see the succubus unharmed. "Bo, thank God you're okay!"

Bo looked confused and concerned. "What the hell is going on?"

"There was an attack on the meeting of the high elders. It was a suicide bomber. The Ash is on life support and it does not look good." She couldn't help the wobble in her voice.

A heartfelt "Shit" burst out of Bo.

Lauren continued. "The rest of the wounded are being moved to a safe site as well as the noble families until we can just figure out what the hell is going on."

Bo interrupted again. "I know what's going on." She looked faintly guilty and Lauren put together the clues. "This is about that other succubus isn't it?" She didn't have to wait for Bo's answer because it showed clearly on her face. Lauren gritted her teeth and tried to firm her voice so that they will know the severity of the situation. "Bo you listen to me very carefully, a hit like this looks like a declaration of war from the Dark," Already there have been more than mutterings about that in the clinic, despite the chaos they were in. "... And it will not be long before our side retaliates..." She paused to make sure that her next words be taken seriously. "If someone else is involved in this, we have to stop her now! You can't afford to protect her..."

"She's my mother." Bo stated flatly.

It took the wind out of her sails. "... What?" Lauren wasn't sure she heard it right. Bo's mother? Since when has Bo found her mother?

Before she could say anything else, Hale came bounding in, all tense and armored up. He was supposed to lead a convoy of elders to a safe site and she had the list of his charges. When Hale had walked away, Lauren turned back to Bo. She didn't have a chance to follow up on the mother issue because Bo was already moving on to her main concern.

"I will either stop her myself or bring her in, I promise! I just need one more chance to get through to her before you bring entire damn Light Fae army down on her!"

Lauren shook her head, uncertain. What Bo was saying was crazy. If this was truly her mother, then she would have less than 10% of a fighting chance. This was Bo taking ridiculous risks again and this time the whole Light Fae clan may be at stake. She sighed, "I don't know... Bo..."

"Look, you have to trust me. I have a plan." Bo still looked desperate and while her eyes were begging at Lauren to do something, they were also very firm in their conviction and Lauren found herself wanting to believe in the succubus. "She told me about some kind of amulet that blocks chi..."

Lauren returned to her aborted research from earlier. "Yeah, yeah." She quickly turned away to pull up the information on her computer terminal. "Koushan. I looked into it after you asked..."

"Well where do I find one?" Bo looked even more determined now that parts of her "plan" were falling into place.

This time, Lauren didn't hesitate. She had failed Bo once when she hadn't trusted her before but maybe that's all they need now, a little faith. Lauren would trust her this time. "The Light Fae have a trophy room, this thing's passed down from Ash to Ash. We keep one in there inside an amethyst crystal." She reached into her pocket for the map and the key to the trophy room. Lauren hadn't been sure earlier, when she had taken the time to grab them during the chaos, what to do with them and if she should just hand them over to Bo but now was not the time for second thoughts. Bo would succeed or fail and in the mean time, she would do all she could to help prevent a war from happening.

"Here, take these." She handed the items to Bo and explained their significance. "The guards are helping with the evac so you have _got_ to hurry!"

Bo grabbed her arm and squeezed it in gratitude. "Thank you. I know the risk that you are taking..." Strangely enough, this was the one time that Lauren was helping Bo with little risk to herself. She could easily convince anyone, if discovered, that the succubus used her powers to manipulate her and without the Ash to catch her in the lie, no one would doubt her words. "... and if I get through this, I owe you that last talk." Bo's last words jolted Lauren. She realized that if Bo failed, then this could be the last time she'll ever see her again.

Without fighting the impulse, she reached for Bo's face and kissed her with all she had. And Bo kissed her back. It was the first time they've kissed since she'd acknowledged her love for Bo and there were no words for it. (It was like drinking water after a being thirsty for so long, like coming home to a warm house after a long, cold and tiring day. It was like recovering something precious that one thought was lost forever) It was perfect and everything Lauren never expected that she had been waiting for. But it was also cut off too soon. With a trembling voice, she looked straight into Bo's eyes and begged, "Will you please just come back safe?"

Bo nodded, and with one last thank you, she finally left. Lauren fought the urge to cry as her heart ached to go with Bo. She still had a lot of work to do.

xxx

She didn't see Bo again until the next, next day. And although she worried about her, all thoughts of the succubus remained in the very back of her mind as Lauren was strained to the limits of her responsibilities. After Bo had left, Lauren delegated the work of seeing to the elders' evacuation and begun to work on the Ash. The surgery alone to repair internal damages had taken almost 5 hours and Lauren barely had any sleep from the night before when they brought in the first dead elder body. (That already seemed like a lifetime ago and she couldn't quite believe that in less than 24 hours, their whole world had changed so drastically)

Aside from the physical strain, she was also very conscious of the fact that she was operating on the Ash. Not only was he the most important Light Fae, he was also her master and there was a good reason why doctors were not allowed to treat family members. They become compromised as their good judgement was clouded by emotion. Lauren barely kept professional working on him and as it was, she found herself muttering half prayers and pleas while she was at it.

One other worry that also had to be dealt with was the identification of the suicide bomber to determine their allegiance. The hard part turned out to be finding a suitable body part for DNA testing from the bombed site because when it came to the identification process, they discovered that the fae was in their system. He had been a guard at the compound, one Lauren had known and liked. That was how he got in so easily and unchallenged. It was also how he knew to attack at that specific vulnerable moment. At the impromptu meeting held by the remaining "chiefs" of the compound, many had expressed confusion over how the guard had been turned against them. Lauren had her own thoughts, knowing about succubi and their thralls, but she withheld the information for now. She had sort of promised Bo that she wouldn't bring the Light Fae army down on her mother yet, but once she had substantial information otherwise, or should the Ash wake up then she would share her knowledge.

And that was the other thing, Lauren hadn't realized how high and significant her position was in fae hierarchy (at least in the compound) all on its own even without the Ash's physical presence to back her up.

The compound was essentially the Ash's household and during his term of office, he lived in it along with his family and his entourage (all of whom were personally chosen by him). The current Ash had no family living with him but the number of people in the compound was still sizeable. There were several "departments" necessary for its function and although Lauren headed one of them for 2 years now, she had still been somewhat surprised to be asked to join the meeting. (Among the others were Serena, as head of the guard, the Ash's personal assistant, the Chief of Staff, the human relations officer, the Chief Legal Officer along with various diplomats and lieutenants. The meeting itself wasn't meant to represent the whole Light Fae but as the Ash's home base and the place attacked, they do have to set the trend and start the whole procedure up before contacting the High Council of the Old World - with a decision on whether or not to declare war with the Dark)

The atmosphere of the meeting was grim underlined with a barely hidden panic. Lauren felt it the moment she entered the room, and she could see some of the people glaring at Serena with blame. Fortunately, the head of guard kept her cool (although small streams of smoke expelled from her nose every couple of minutes) and they managed to have a productive gathering.

They had waited for Lauren to finish operating the Ash before having the meeting, which made her feel strangely special. But then again, her department was actually very important right now. She had sent some of her staff with the injured elders in the evacuation and they had sent her various reports throughout the day of the changes in the status of their charges. Lauren presented these reports with her own, concerning the Ash's condition and possible recovery time. (By the time of the meeting, several elders had succumbed to their injuries bringing up the death rate to 4 out of the 8 council elders, with the rest in critical states) She was also responsible for presenting the results of the ID'ing the bomber.

For her part, Lauren learned several key information. The first and most important of which was so far as Serena could determine, no one outside the compound knew of the extent of the Ash's injuries yet. Basically this meant that the Dark was still ... well, in the dark about it. According to the spies, they knew about the explosion and that there have been injuries that resulted to an evacuation taking place, but so far they weren't aware that the Ash was one of the badly injured. This state won't last (briefly, Lauren thought of how she'd told Bo and Kenzi about the Ash) but for the moment, they were taking advantage of it. For now, there was a gag order in effect (courtesy of the Chief of Staff) and they have spread the word that Ash was only slightly injured. (It wouldn't do for the rest of the Light Fae to truly panic - the evacuation was a cause for worry but it wasn't so uncommon and could be passed off as an overreaction)

There were other key points discussed in the meeting such as covering up the explosion from human media, the tightening of security measures and several discussions on the various repercussions from this event. Once again, Lauren was faintly surprised to find that her opinion was sought and considered. She imagined that they've forgotten her human status for now while everyone was still in crisis mode but she was disabused of this notion when the meeting broke up and everybody headed to do their assigned duties. Marcus Chase, the Ash's lawyer, was the first to approach her. "Dr. Lewis, may I have a word with you?"

Lauren fought not to show her confusion at this request. Instead she gave a small smile and nod. "Of course Mr. Chase, how may I help you?"

The fae lawyer gave her a small smile. "It is nothing so dire, I assure you. I merely want to offer my regards on how well you have acquitted yourself today." As Lauren's growing confusion showed on her face, Chase just looked at her warmly. "I have heard that it was your quick thinking which allowed us to evacuate the elders quickly and efficiently." Lauren blushed a little at that. She remembered how after triage, she had suggested the use of several amulets to put the elders into stasis to make them fit for transportation. It wasn't normally used for medical purposes as it was too temporary to do anything without serious spells to augment their powers but in this instance, they worked well enough as a stop gap. Chase continued but in a firmer voice, "I also know that the Ash asked for your advice before. I wasn't sure until today that it had been wise for him to rely on a human." He paused a little to watch her reaction. He was a little impressed that her curious but impassive look never changed. "I know now that he was wise to seek your opinion. You have a good mind, Dr. Lewis, and you had good ideas to share in there. I can also see that you understand the fae very well and more than that, you care for us genuinely. It is only to our fortune that you are now part of the Light Fae."

Lauren was flabbergasted at such high praise. She was passing acquainted with Marcus Chase but she'd always gotten the impression that he didn't like her because of her humanity. (One of the more snobby faes that saw humans as irritating bugs) To be praised by him right now, at this very moment, was surreal. Lauren felt a slight regret that she was too tired to actually feel pleased by the compliment and only managed a small nod at him. He didn't seem to expect anything else because he just returned the nod and went on his own way. She also saw Serena nod at her approvingly, having stopped nearby to have another quick chat with Kathryn Torres, the human relations officer.

Before she could step away though, another fae approached her. This time it was the Chief of Staff, Jeremy Volpe. Lauren was closer to Jeremy than with Chase (she had been present at the birth of his grandchildren) and this time she welcomed the interruption. "Lauren! What a day huh?"

"And it's not over yet, Jerry."

Jeremy became more serious. "I know. It is a great tragedy that has befallen us but I am glad that you are on point. There is no one I would trust with the Ash's health more, except for Dr. Bertrand. And I know that many of the others feel the same way."

Lauren firmed her suddenly trembling lips. She'd heard it said that tragedies bring people closer together but this... she never expected this. Blinking quickly to dispel the suspect moisture in her eyes, she gave him a small smile and a nod. "Thank you."

He gave her another warm smile and then he started on the business at hand. It seemed that while his people were going to be busy representing the Ash to various Light Fae clans, he could spare some to help her in the lab since they were also stretched thin at the moment. "It's a good thing you insisted on that first aid workshop that one time. My people could assist in giving out band aids while yours could concentrate on the important ones."

Lauren agreed that it sounded good and certainly it should free up some of her people to get much needed rest. He told her he'd send her a list and have some of his people report to her tomorrow. She thanked him and they parted.

Lauren was just heading back to her room, already dreaming of having a bath and maybe a long nap, when her paged beeped urgently. Without hesitating, she ran quickly back to the lab with her heart in her throat. The pager was designed to warn her of any severe change in the Ash's status and an alarm right now could only mean bad things.

It was an intacranial hemorrage, a brain bleed, and something she had been afraid of happening. Lauren thought that the IV fluids would help prevent it, but obviously the Ash had suffered too much damage already. It took another couple of hours as she drilled a hole in his skull to install a catheter and prevent the blood from building up. It worked to lessen the pressure but they'd still have to wait and see, on what the long term consequences could be.

This time when Lauren headed back to her rooms, she only let herself collapse on the bed and let unconsciousness take her.


	19. Part 2: Reparations

(Second Part)

Lauren was once again woken up too early the next morning. She had popped out of the bed frantically, thinking it was her pager again (and another problem with the Ash) but the noise came from her phone. Bleary-eyed, she checked the screen and blinked in surprise. It was Trick.

Clearing her throat, Lauren answered the phone while walking to the bathroom. "Hello?" She cringed at her reflection with one hand, tried to comb out the bird's nest that grew on her head overnight.

"What, Trick, slow down... I see, I'll be there in a half hour. I'll see you then."

Lauren gave up on her hair and just jumped straight to a fast shower. Dressing quickly, she headed directly to the lab to check on the Ash's injuries. There was only one nurse on duty and she was instructed to call Lauren as soon as anything changed with the Ash (although she was also bringing her pager with her) and that she would only be gone an hour or so. With that last order, she grabbed her medical bag and hurried to the garage. Lauren didn't have a car and she was usually chauffeured to her home visits but occasionally she could borrow one and go driving whenever the urge took her (which had been scarce these days). Today, she was almost detained by the guard on duty as part of the new security measures but she overrode his authority as Chief Medical Officer and hurried to the Dal.

There she found a very pale Trick and a pool of blood on the table and the floor. Assessing the damage with a professional eye, she determined that while Trick had lost a considerable amount of blood, it wasn't permanently damaging. Without asking why he chose now to spill his blood, she took his injured hand in hers and gently examined the wound. It had already clotted but as far as she could see it was a small wound and precisely cut. Just what she expected. (Trick had more experience with bloodletting than she'll ever get her whole life and she knew that she was only here to help with the clean up) Lauren cleaned, stitched and patched the wound quickly before she helped Trick back to his bedroom. He murmured his thanks and she whispered back a small welcome. Finally, she made him some blood replenishing tea, left a balm for the wound and cleaned his living area before she left him alone to rest.

xxx

Lauren went back to the lab and checked on the Ash again. There was no other change but she couldn't linger either because she was supposed to go check on the surviving elders. This time, she allowed herself to be driven around along with an assigned bodyguard, as she made her rounds. The other elders were more or less stable in their own injuries and there wasn't much she could add to their care, but it was still her duty to make sure that every effort be made to facilitate their quick recovery. Lauren conferred with their personal physicians for treatment and recovery suggestions and asked to be kept up to date on their conditions.

When she got back that night, she checked on the Ash one more time before she allowed herself to turn in. The results were not promising. If he didn't wake up or stir on his own soon, he would fall into a deeper coma that had nothing to do with healing. It was a disheartening end to an already exhausting day. Once again, Lauren trudged heavily back to her room and let herself fall into an exhausted sleep.

xxx

The next day, Lauren spent most of her morning hovering by the Ash's bedside. He was paler than his normal skin tone should allow, his body so very frail-looking under all the bandages, wires and tubes attached to it. His face was heavily bruised and he looked weak, not like the strong, stoic Ash that she knew.

It had only begun to hit her how much she cared for his recovery and how much part of it was because he was the Ash and her master. She had had to bury all personal feelings while she operated on him as a professional and then yesterday, she had to turn her thoughts on other duties that called to her (Lauren thought that perhaps the Ash might appreciate such dedication to duty would he learn of it). All the initial feelings she first had when she'd heard of the bombing and all its implications came rushing back out of the box she'd hid them in and threatened to overwhelm her.

A sob got caught in her throat but Lauren refused to break down in the lab for the second time in less than a week (in broad daylight with her staff around, no less). Tentatively, she touched his hand and eventually held it gently in hers. They had never truly touched each other before, aside from the first time that they've shook hands and the time the Ash put on her necklace. (There was also the occasional accidental jostling when they all troop in the elevators with his entourage) It felt weird to touch him now, like she was waiting for someone to catch her in the act and yell at her for the presumption, but she didn't let go. More than seeing it on the monitor, it helped, to faintly feel his pulse underneath her thumb and really know that he was still alive.

She found that she wasn't surprised to feel this way, feeling dread and concern and worry for his life, no: what surprised her was how okay she was to feel this way. She felt a little guilty about it, as though admitting that she cared for the Ash was the final straw in betraying her humanity. She thought of the many ways people would misconstrue their relationship, the foremost being Stockholm syndrome on her part. But that was wrong because he wasn't her captor and she wasn't his captive slave (like Bo believed). In fact, she was actually his equal because they had made a true bargain. It had always been her choice whether to continue honoring that bargain or not (Nadia's condition notwithstanding), just as it was his choice to fully utilize her potential for the good of the Light Fae. She remembered how the Ash had carefully molded her all these years (how she'd allowed him to mold her); he had been her boss and benefactor, her teacher, her protector - hers as surely as she had been his. (It was this possessiveness she felt for him in return that defied any simple labelling people put on their relationship)

Lauren gripped his hand tightly as the she imagined a future without him. It was a scary one that she had no desire to live in. "You have to get well soon." Lauren found herself murmuring, watching the rise and fall of his breath. "We're all waiting for you and you can't let us down. We need you."

She didn't notice her staff give sympathetic looks to each other, or the way they made sure to preserve her pseudo privacy.

xxx

Bo came in the afternoon. She found her in the compound's cafeteria where Lauren had been forcibly ejected to by Jill the harpy when the nurse learned that the only thing she's been eating for the past two days were protein bars and juice. Lauren had been served with a full meal course by a glowering cook (as though daring her to protest) who stood by her until she ate at least a third of the portions and left with a gruff warning of "Child, I better come see you finish that or else!" (The cook was actually one of the faes that Lauren would consider a friend. Carmella was a Brownie and was one of the most maternal creatures that she'd ever met. She'd never forgotten to send Lauren a meal whenever she missed one - and she missed a lot whenever she's caught up with her projects in the lab - and chatted with her whenever she ate at the cafeteria. Incidentally Carmella was Jeremy Volpe's mate and together, they ran the Ash's household. It seemed she was miffed that she'd somehow missed Lauren's "diet" meals from all the ruckus of the past 2 days)

Lauren had been finishing her fruit cup dessert when Bo's shadow loomed over her. She had looked up, slightly startled and embarrassed at how dedicated she seemed, to getting the last peach cube stuck on the bottom of the cup with her tongue. When she saw Bo, she blushed.

"Bo. Hi! What're you doing here? I mean, how did you get in? The guards are... oh did you succubus... I mean, how are you?" Lauren flushed a deeper red at her stuttering. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Looking Bo in the eye, she started again, this time with more feeling. "You're okay." And then she simply smiled in relief. She had been pushing all thoughts of Bo out of her mind these past days because it was the only way she could still function without worrying to death and now, now the succubus was here before her alive and well.

She stood up quickly and grabbed the fae into a fierce hug, one that was quickly reciprocated. "You're alive. You're okay." Lauren repeated, unable to fully believe it yet. She gripped Bo to her tightly and was glad that Bo was holding on to her the same way. She didn't realize how much she had worried about Bo until now.

Finally they separated slowly and Bo gave her one of her slow smiles. "Lauren, hey. I see you really missed me."

Lauren fought the urge to kiss her but she let her hands hold Bo's face, staring straight into the others eyes. "I did. I was so worried... I.. how are you?"

Bo took her hands into her own but didn't remove them from her face yet. "I'm good. I'm fine. I'm... here." Disentangling their hands, Bo took a small step back and took the Koushan amulet from her pocket. "I came to return this." And then she seemed to realize where they were and what it meant for her to be returning this to Lauren personally and Bo quickly hid the Koushan in her palm. "Can we go somewhere private?"

Lauren nodded and took Bo's other hand, unable to keep from touching the succubus for too long. "Yes, we'll go to my rooms."

She led the way to her private rooms in silence, and Bo never let go of her hand. In her rooms, they were forced to part for a while as Lauren gestured at it. "Home sweet home. Why don't you go take a seat in the couch while I get us something to drink?"

She really didn't give Bo a chance to say no and hurried to her small kitchen area. She was aware that this was her chance, their moment to talk and finally clear the air and her earlier relief was now overpowered by anxiety. She grabbed some soda from the refrigerator and hurried back to Bo, who had begun to wander around. Lauren could see the Koushan pendant lying on her centre table.

"Nice place." Was Bo's only compliment as she took the offered drink. "Thanks."

Lauren tried to look at her place with stranger's eyes, trying to see it as Bo saw it. It wasn't anything special and was actually quiet ordinary. There was very little here that she'd changed from its original state when she first arrived at the compound. The furniture was the same (chosen by whoever the decorator the Ash picked out) and she hadn't put up any new pictures. The only thing that was new and hers were the overflowing bookshelves (mostly of her personal collection of human and fae medical books with occasional fiction novels thrown in between) and a metal cabinet of various fae concoctions. (Maybe not so ordinary after all)

They sat back down on the couch, each taking a corner end and leaving a wide gap in between. Bo began first, pushing the pendant to Lauren's side. "Here. It saved my life, so thank you so much for taking the risk with your own and letting me borrow it."

Lauren took the pendant and studied it closely. Such a small and delicate thing, yet like all fae, deceptive in its looks. "I'm glad I could help." She looked at Bo with a small smirk, as she laid the pendant back on the table. "I'm surprised you didn't try to keep it. I figure Kenzi wouldn't have wanted to part with such a valuable thing."

Bo grinned, a little smug. "How did you know?" They laughed a little at that, breaking some of the tension. Bo continued, "But no, I can't keep it. And as much as I hate the thought that the Ash owns something that would effectively collar my powers, I can't just destroy it either. We might still need it in the future and... I can't let you take the fall if they discover it gone."

Lauren smiled at her thoughtfulness. "Thanks." She took a sip of her soda and just looked at Bo for a moment. The succubus looked tired and a little weary. There was a hidden worry in her eyes and Lauren wanted to know what put that there. She asked, "How are you really?"

Bo sighed and put her soda on the table. She suddenly looked tired but she still gave Lauren a small smirk of her own. "I'm fine, really. I'm just... I'm sorry I didn't call you immediately, by the way, things have just..."

"No, of course not. I'm sure that you had a lot of things to take care of."

Bo pursed her lips at that and Lauren continued to gently prod at her. "How's that thing with your mom? We haven't heard of any other attack so I'm guessing you were able to get through to her?" When she saw Bo frown, she hurried to add, "What's her name, anyway? You didn't say. And how did you find her?"

Like a dam bursting, the story poured out of a suddenly agitated Bo. Lauren watched the succubus pace her small living room, attention divided between her words and her expressive body language. Her heart gave a little dip when she realized all over again how beautiful Bo was and how much she'd missed her. And then the words started to distract her. Dyson and Trick had known of Bo's parentage since before they met the succubus and had kept it from her all this time. (Lauren couldn't help but selfishly think how that crime was certainly more severe than hers was) Bo also told her what happened with their confrontation 2 days ago.

Lauren could almost see it in her mind, how Bo had begged Aefa to reconsider and the fight on the stairs; how Aefa had changed her mind at the last moment and sacrificed herself for her daughter. And then later, how her body had seemingly vanished without a trace. It made her heart ache for Bo as she imagined how much the succubus hurt right now. This valiant soul that would allow no one to harm themselves for her sake.

"I met her before you know? It was on that case where the depressed woman killed herself on the bath tub? She called herself Saskia and I liked her. She wasn't mom-like, but God..." Lauren watched Bo's expressive face crumble slightly at the remembered emotions. Bo turned to look at her with a faint smile. "I liked her a lot. It wasn't just because she was the only succubus I've ever met, but there was something about her... she was charming and nice and carefree." She sat back down on the couch, this time near the middle and closer to Lauren. "She asked me to come with her to Europe and told me that she'd introduce me to lots of people and that we'd just party all day long." There was something wistful in Bo's tone that made Lauren touch her arm in comfort. "Bo..."

Bo shook her head, mistaking Lauren's gesture for something else. Pity maybe. "Yeah, I know. I know that Trick and Dyson just wanted to protect me and that's why they didn't tell me about her earlier but I keep thinking that if they had, maybe I would have had more time to spend with her and maybe I could've convinced her sooner not to go with her plan. It's stupid because I know that she's been planning this for, like... centuries! But still... she seemed interested in my private investigating and maybe as her daughter... I don't know... I could've made a difference or something."

Bo looked at her with mingled shyness and pain in her face and this time, Lauren drew the fae closer for a hug. Bo came willingly and snuggled in her embrace, soaking up the offered comfort. After a while, she disentangled herself from Lauren and wipe surreptitiously at her eyes.

"Anyway, enough about me. How about you? How's the Ash?" The last question was asked as an obvious afterthought but Lauren was glad that Bo at least tried.

This time, it was her turn to stand and pace the floor. "Not good. He's fallen into a coma and there's no telling when or... or if he'll wake up..." Bo made as if to interrupt her but she shook her head gently and continued, "We haven't made that information public yet. As far as the Light Fae knows, the Ash is only a little injured but okay." This time Bo pursed her lips in doubt and Lauren reassured her. "We know we can't keep it quiet for too long, but it's important that we assemble a temporary government in the meantime - set up an acting Ash and stuff like that - because we can't appear too weak in front of the Dark. That's the most important thing right now."

Bo's face showed her comprehension. Lauren hesitated at her next words but forced herself to continue. "As promised, I didn't tell them about your mom but some of the injured elders had woken up yesterday and they know that it was Aefa who'd been behind the attack... apparently there was a message before the bomb went off, and so while war with the Dark is averted for now, they'll be gunning for your mom. I'm sorry about that." Lauren doesn't know why she's apologizing but she did feel slightly guilty about it.

Bo waved away her apology. "There's no need for you to apologize, Lauren. I know what my mom did and what she would've done if her plans had come to fruition. Anyway, she's gone now so... the Light would still have to find her if they want to try her for her crimes." Bo paused and caught Lauren's hand in her own when she passed by the couch. "What about the you? You've talked about the Ash and I know he's your master and all but..." Lauren could tell that she was trying to be diplomatic but bitterness had seeped into her voice. She pulled away from the succubus' gentle grip.

"Bo..." Lauren sighed and sat back down on the couch, facing the other woman. " I think we better have that talk now."

Now Bo looked a little tense and sat up straighter. She made a little gesture with her hands and said, "Okay, fine. You... you go first."

Lauren nodded jerkily. "Okay, right. Uh... First of all, I'm sorry about..." she trailed off when she saw Bo's jaw tighten abruptly with displeasure. "Okay, so no more apologizing." Lauren muttered under her breath. She cleared her throat nervously and began again, looking Bo in the eyes. "Maybe I should start at the beginning and what the Ash means to me."

Bo tried to cut her off with an impatient sigh but Lauren was determined now. "No Bo, you have to hear this. You probably heard Dyson tell you how I'm just the Ash's pet and his little hardworking slave..." An awkward little silence fell as Lauren unconsciously began playing with the Ash's mark on her necklace and they both remembered Bo's harsh words about it.

"It was Trick who told me that you weren't just the Ash's employee." Bo offered lamely.

Lauren cleared her throat again. "Anyway, I'm sure you've heard about it from everyone and I need to tell you my side of it, okay?"

Bo nodded and waved at her neck "Okay, Lauren I'm sorry I called that your..."

It was Lauren's turn to stop her. "No, later okay? Once you've heard my story and then you can decide if still want to apologize." She waited until Bo nodded reluctantly before beginning.

"The thing is, Trick's right and I am the Ash's slave." Bo's face darkened but she didn't say anything and Lauren continued. "For all intents and purposes, he owns me completely. But it's also true, that I agreed to all of that. I agreed to give up my freedom and become the Ash's property. Bo, I did that. No one forced me to."

Now Bo looked a little confused.

"The Ash... he, he did me a favor before. A big favor that was very important to me. And when he asked me if I would become his ward in return, I agreed. There was a contract and it was all there in print; what being his would entail, what I would lose and what I would gain and I read it carefully before I signed it."

"But... what did he...?" Bo asked, unable to keep silent anymore. She was more than confused now, and less pissed at the notion of Lauren's "slavery".

Lauren clamped her mouth shut so hard that her teeth clicked. She wasn't ready to tell Bo about Nadia and besides this wasn't the time for that. Just thinking of trying to explain everything made her nauseous. It would only complicate an already difficult talk and wisely (cowardly), she avoided that issue for later. "I'm sorry Bo, but I'm not ready to talk about that yet."

Bo must've seen how desperate she looked and left it alone. She only nodded at Lauren and gave her a small smile.

Lauren took a hurried sip of her now tepid soda and said, "Uh, so anyway, I agreed to become the Ash's ward and Bo... I could back out of that agreement any time I want to. No one is keeping me here against my will." She pushed all thoughts of Nadia lying prone in the basement right now. This was the important thing that Bo needed to know.

The succubus looked flabbergasted and her jaw had dropped a little. "What? Lauren... you... what?"

Lauren only nodded at her. "It's true Bo. I doubt Trick knew that part but I'm different from all other humans beholden to fae. I have the power to walk away anytime I want to. I just don't."

Bo's face was changing constantly, from shock to confusion to anger... Lauren headed her off, sure that she knew what Bo was thinking right now. "That night, uh ... earlier that day, the Ash talked to me. He told me that he knew about the fae you were looking for, the Mesmer." Bo was listening intently now, not looking to interrupt.

"He told me that if you two faced off, the Mesmer would kill you and I was so scared for you Bo. I knew that knowledge wouldn't stop you either. You're just too stubborn for your own good." Bo looked a little sheepish at that. "The Ash told me that he couldn't let you die because he didn't know anything about you yet." Now Bo looked affronted but she was still listening.

"He had a plan. I told him I wanted to help." Lauren paused at this to make her point. "Bo, I asked him what I could do. I told him that I'd already tried reasoning with you but he just said that you're a succubus and that I should know of a way to distract you." Lauren remembered how amused the Ash was at the time, how self congratulating he seemed at what he thought was elementary plotting. She couldn't help but smile a little at his typical 'Ash-ness' but a sharply cleared throat pulled her back out of her trance. Now Bo looked distinctly un-amused.

Lauren blinked and said, "Anyway, that's all he said. He didn't tell me to sleep with you and I know that maybe I'm being too technical!" She raised her voice a little when Bo made tried to speak out. "But, the point is I could just as easily have drugged you so you'll be safely out of it for the whole night, or day even."

Bo crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, as if to say, 'Really? That's your argument? I am so not impressed.'

Lauren cleared her throat again. "Uh, so I came to your place with the intention of delaying you, yes. But only by trying to reason with you again. I promise you Bo, that no matter what the Ash suggested, I never thought to sleep with you for those reasons." She paused again to gather her thoughts. "I asked you that night why you wanted to help out Lou Ann, do you remember? I couldn't figure out why you'd want to risk your life for some stranger that didn't even have information about your mother. Then you explained it to me."

Lauren looked at Bo's eyes, willing her to feel her sincerity. "Bo, I felt so embarrassed." Bo looked confused again and so adorable as she struggled to remember what she'd said that night that could embarrass Lauren. Lauren ignored the inappropriate urge to kiss her and just continued. "I was so embarrassed because here was a fae that was strong and powerful and yet used all her talents to fight for what she believed in. She wouldn't let anyone control her or dictate to her and then there was I, who gave up her own freedom so easily. It made me feel small but mostly I was just in awe of you. How could I not kiss you then?" Bo looked stunned at that outburst. "I wanted you before, but that night I wanted to be there for you too. I wanted to comfort you and reassure you..." Lauren hesitated. "I wanted to love you." It hit too close to home, making her very uncomfortable but she figured she owed Bo her honesty.

Lauren paused for a moment, letting the silence soak up her words before she started again. "I swear to you that by that point, I wasn't thinking of the Ash or Vex or Lou Ann. I only wanted you." And then she shrugged, her lips turning down wryly. She couldn't look at Bo anymore. Instead she stared at the Koushan pendant on her table. "And you know how that ended. I am sorry Bo. I truly don't regret that night except for the way it ended. When I told you that I wasn't doing anything wrong, _that_ was wrong of me. I ruined what should have been a beautiful moment between us. I was a stupid jerk who hurt you and made you feel bad about yourself." She made herself stare at Bo's eyes again for this part. "But Bo, you were wrong too. When you said that I was in your bed because the Ash told me to. I was there because I wanted you so much I couldn't wait anymore. I was at your apartment because I wanted to protect you." This time, Lauren turned away completely from Bo to look at her bookshelves. "In hindsight, I probably should've just drugged you and maybe there'd be less drama from that fallout."

She heard Bo sigh beside her and felt her move a little closer. Lauren turned to Bo when she felt the succubus' touch on her arm. Bo sought her gaze before she spoke. "Lauren... I... I won't lie. You really hurt me that night. I felt so cheap and used and I just felt really bad, okay?" Lauren cringed inside, feeling more guilty when she heard the slight tremor in Bo's voice.

"But that was before. I've had some time to think about it and I have come to some conclusions of my own." Bo paused, again staring at her as though asking for permission to continue. Lauren only nodded.

Letting out a big breath, Bo started. "First of all, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have tried to just freeze you off like that. I mean, I was angry but we should've talked it out properly like mature people. So I'm sorry for that. And I am sorry for calling your necklace a dog collar." She looked firm on that last one but Bo paused again and this time, Lauren could almost feel the succubus' restlessness. She wondered if she should be nervous. She gave another nod at Bo.

"I'm sorry I just... I came here more or less prepared with what I'm going to say but with what you just said... everything's just a little... uh, anyway, I wanted to say that I understand, or I thought I did, how you couldn't really refuse the Ash without consequences or something. And I wanted to say that I'm okay with that now. But with everything you just told me... I'm still okay with it!" she rushed to explain, not wanting Lauren to feel bad, "I just... You wanted to protect me. I get that. And you didn't sleep with me because of the Ash's orders. I get that too. I'm... relieved." Bo unconsciously grabbed Lauren's hand. "I could understand it when I thought that you had no choice because of the Ash, but I like this better; knowing that you felt something real and knowing that having sex with me wasn't just some chore or duty you had to do to stop me from ruining the Ash's plans." She gave Lauren a crooked smile. "It was bad timing, but it shouldn't take away from what we felt during that moment too."

Lauren could hear the 'but' coming from a mile away and wanted to stop Bo from talking. This was already great. Bo had forgiven her and understood.

Bo continued, not knowing of her increasingly desperate thoughts. "And while I can't say that I'm... pleased that you tried to protect me by plotting against me, I get that too. I know I can be impulsive..." she smiled when Lauren playfully rolled her eyes at her. "Hey! Not that impulsive!"

"You are Bo, but that's one of your charms." Lauren teased.

Bo grinned at her. "Yeah, but I am working on that. I am impulsive and stubborn and I've spent long years of my life grasping for control so I guess... now that I have learned control, I'm also a bit of a control freak. I want to decide what's best for me and I can't let anybody protect me, even if it's for my own good." She gave another sheepish grin at Lauren before she turned serious again. "I want to trust people, you, but to do that, you have to trust me too. Trust that I know what I'm doing and not keep things a secret from me." Lauren barely kept herself from rolling her eyes again, this time less playfully. Bo didn't know what she's doing more than half the time. She was just very lucky. But maybe she had a point. If people would just fully explain to her what her actions meant and how it affected other people, then maybe she could start making better decisions too.

She nodded. "I understand Bo. I won't keep things from you..." Lauren stuttered a little at that, "...to protect you. From now on, I'll trust you. And Bo, thank you for understanding. You don't know how much this means to me."

Bo nodded at that. She looked a bit hesitant now. "Lauren, there's something else."

Lauren felt her earlier unease creep back up. It was time for the 'but' moment. "Yeah?"

"When I said earlier about our feelings that night, I really meant that. I felt a real connection with you and if things had turned out differently... I think we could have pursued that." Lauren felt a ball of dread settle deep into her stomach. She hated Bo's concerned expression. The succubus was concerned for her, when she shouldn't be. She didn't even know about Nadia yet.

Bo continued. "But that was before. Now I'm with Dyson and I want to be with him. To try and have a nice, normal relationship for once, even though we're fae and not normal." That last one hit Lauren hard particularly. She knew Bo didn't really mean it that way, but she felt judged and found wanting for being only a human. And it surprised her too, how even after Dyson had kept the secret of Bo's mom, Bo was still willing to stick with him. (Maybe her earlier betrayal was some sort of dry run test to prepare Bo for this bigger one of Dyson's)

Lauren didn't show any of her painful, dark thoughts on her face. Instead she pasted a polite smile on and said, "I'm happy for you Bo, that you've finally found that balance between you and Dyson. You guys always seemed to be kinda off most of the time, sometimes fighting, sometimes together..."

Bo smiled at her, but she still looked like she was expecting Lauren to burst into tears any second now. "I know. It's taken a while but we've finally settled our issues." And then as though she couldn't help herself, Bo blurted out, "I love him." and then looked horrified at her faux pas.

Lauren couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the other woman's expression, despite her aching heart. Bo looked confused but laughed a little too. "I'm sorry, that was insensitive of me..."

"No Bo, don't apologize. You shouldn't apologize for how you feel. I understand. Well, not the Dyson part but I understand that these feelings aren't easily contained." Lauren wanted to say that she was sorry she missed her own chance, but she wasn't sure if she would be lying or not (because parts of her were still relieved that Bo's with Dyson now) so she just settled for, "Dyson's a lucky guy."

Bo smiled at that. "That's what I tell him." They both paused again, just to look at each other. Lauren felt that she could just look at Bo's beautiful face for hours, even now (especially now) when she knew that the other woman was taken and beyond her reach. (She could look at this woman forever and be happy, Lauren thought)

Bo interrupted their mutual gazing. "By the way, do you know where he is?"

"Lost him already?" Lauren asked, teasingly. She still felt pain in her heart but already a part of her was already burying it for later contemplation. Right now, she just wanted to bask in Bo's easy presence back in her life.

"No, I just... he hasn't called yet or anything. He wanted to come with me to face my mom but I told him that I wanted to take care of it myself. I haven't really seen him since. Nor does Trick or Hale."

Lauren stood up, intent on clearing out their soda cans. "I'm sure he's just sulking somewhere. Dyson's an alpha wolf and they are very dominant. He's probably unhappy that he can't say no to you." Before she could move away, Bo's hand touched her hip. She suddenly froze and tensed up.

Bo was looking up to her. "I guess. Don't go yet."

Lauren tried to move again but Bo's touch firmed and kept her in place. "I'm only going to the kitchen to throw these away. I'm not going anywhere else."

"Lauren."

Just her name, and Lauren found herself putting the soda cans back on the table and sitting near Bo. "What is it?" she found herself whispering a little, not wanting to break the delicious tension that had fallen on them.

Bo shook her head and whispered back. "I just wanted us to stay like this for a while, okay?"

Lauren nodded okay and let Bo rearrange them until they were comfortably snuggled up, stretched out on the couch. She could feel Bo's heartbeat behind her, languid and soothing, and heard her soft words spoken on her hair. "I'm glad we're okay. I missed you too."

Lauren grabbed Bo's hands on her and gripped them tightly. Yeah, she could definitely stay like this for a while too.

End of Season 1

_Taking a brief break before I tackle Season 2. Should be back in a couple of weeks. Thanks for reading!_


	20. The Interim

_I__'m back! Hope I didn't make you wait too long. Here's the start of the second season. Enjoy!_

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><p>28<p>

The month that followed the attack on the compound was marked by an atmosphere of uneasy waiting. Waiting for another attack, waiting for the Dark's reaction, waiting for the Ash to wake up and for some people, waiting for Dyson to come back.

As predicted, it didn't take long for the news of the extent of the Ash's injuries to trickle down to the masses. Fortunately by that time they were already more or less organized to deal with the resulting fallout. An elder was found to take on the role of acting Ash while the rest did their best to provide protection and reassure the fears of the Light Fae.

Unfortunately, while they were prepared for the eventualities, it did not mean that they were also able to fully stop all problems from arising.

During the first two weeks after, there was a distinct sense of paranoia permeating the atmosphere while the Light Fae was embroiled in a hurried appointment of the new High Council of Elders. Elders were usually appointed by existing council members to take over their old positions, after which their decisions were ratified by the Ash. This time, since there was only 2 elders that ultimately survived the bombing and the Ash was still in a coma, former council members came back to take up the position again and the noble families were allowed to represent themselves.

Barely organized, the new council's first order of business was to set up an acting Ash. Their choice was Buzz (Lauren wasn't exactly sure if that was just a nickname), a former council member and the only one who'd served under different Ashes. However, despite how good he looked on paper, the reality was vastly different. It was clear after one day that the only thing he was good for was getting drunk. Still, they stuck by him (not wanting to take more time to find another suitable Acting Ash) and it was only luck that he was able to control the council.

Because after the hurried election of the acting Ash, they returned to their original concern: the safety of the Light Fae. And at this point, many of the members were convinced that the attack was truly perpetrated by the Dark. Lauren learned that they were arguing now that the Aefa business was only a trick to throw them off the scent. There had been no sign of the succubus despite the testimony of the surviving elders and they were beginning to doubt that she had ever been involved. No one had seen her after all and their only 'proof' was a supposed 'message' from the suicide bomber. (Besides, Aefa was Dark fae herself, and who's to say that she hadn't returned to her old loyalties?)

Buzz was useful at creating distractions at least. Instead of fanning the flames of war, he was more concerned with the proper burial of the dead council members and the respect owed to them. (Privately, Lauren thought that he was just lazy and not up to making war. Also, funerals usually mean open bars and overflowing booze. Always a requirement for their new acting Ash) Buzz insisted on traditional funerals to be conducted, full of rituals and pageantry and in the meantime they waited for another attack that never came.

To be fair, the funerals did help in reducing the turmoil within the Light community. It assuaged the pride of the clans that the slain council members belonged to, and assured them that the sacrifices unintentionally made were still acknowledged. Eventually, the anti-war faction successfully argued that if the Dark was responsible for the attack, then they should have moved in earlier when the Light was still in disarray and panic. It helped ease the paranoia and fear.

Through all this, Lauren herself was under great pressure. Every time the council held a meeting, she would be called in to share her reports about the Ash's condition. She never had anything new to say and it made her feel inadequate, despite rational thinking. No one thought to blame her though. Most of the Light Fae already knew her personally, having been her patient over the years and others knew her by reputation with the blood fever. While it confused (and flattered) her, they trusted her judgement and believed her when she said that she was trying everything to bring him back.

It was true, Lauren had dedicated all her time to reviving the Ash from his coma. She had her staff manning the clinic and the labs, while she stayed glued to his bedside. She didn't have to stay with him all the time but Lauren wasn't immune to the paranoia that infected the Light Fae. It wasn't that she didn't trust her staff to care for him, but she believed in her mind that if she wasn't beside him, he would die. No one else was as attached to him personally as she was and for Lauren, right now that made all the difference.

The only time she wasn't near him and trying on new tricks to wake him up (which in a 'lucky' coincidence, were the same ones she'd already tried on Nadia) was when the nurses kicked her out to eat or when Bo came over.

Which was the other big thing: Bo came over a lot these days. She didn't stay long and their interactions were still somewhat awkward but Lauren appreciated it. Now that they've had the "talk" and cleared the air between them, Lauren hadn't really expected that they would easily go back to being friends. Bo may have forgiven her but she still had to earn her trust back.

Besides Lauren preferred having that distance lingering between them. The talk had done nothing for her feelings, except make her feel a little more tormented. She knew that Bo was with Dyson (even if the wolf wasn't physically present for now) and this could be her chance to truly become "just" friends with Bo. She clung to that latter idea and tried hard to ignore how she felt for Bo. In fact, Lauren let herself be treated to a discussion of "Where's Dyson, why isn't he back yet and do you think he's okay?" once.

It wasn't that Bo was insensitive, it was just that every time she came, it was so obvious what was on her mind. And since Lauren had already promised herself to be a good friend (and only a good friend): she couldn't just ignore Bo's suffering. So that one time Bo came and tried to casually inquire again if Dyson had shown up or called (for the nth time), Lauren asked Bo and Bo eventually gave up what was on her mind. The rant started about her worry for Dyson's condition, but later the concern had shifted to anger at his "so irresponsible, so douchebaggy" behaviour. Afterwards, Bo felt guilty but Lauren was actually pleased about the "discussion". Even though it hurt to see Bo's strong feelings for Dyson, she could also see how the ranting had helped Bo and their relationship. A measure of trust was gained and they felt more comfortable with each other then.

Lauren was grateful that their relationship was improving. It was a relief because even if she was only a "friend", she was finally allowed to show her affection (as a friend) unlike that time when Bo was completely freezing her out. Sometimes she could even forget that she was in love with Bo and just be able to enjoy her company without feeling like her heart could burst from just watching the other woman. And Lauren convinced herself that even when she remembered, it wasn't as painful as before because she could still claim Bo's friendship. It was better than nothing at all.

It was also around this time that Lauren began to think of telling Bo about Nadia. In some ways it was the ideal time: she and Bo were getting to trust each other again, Bo was "officially with" Dyson and therefore shouldn't be too offended learning of Nadia's role in her life and she had sort of promised to be honest.

She tried to tell Bo but she always bit it off at the last moment. Something in her just shrank at the prospect and she felt dread every time she tried. It was partly cowardice, with Lauren not wanting to take a chance in ruining their newly re-forged friendship. After all, what would Bo say if she learned that Lauren slept with her, while her girlfriend was in a magically induced coma? Lauren didn't think she could bear it if Bo looked at her with disappointment and disgust again.

But part of it was also letting Bo inside her innermost defenses. Nadia was a vital part of Lauren, their lives entwined in a way that transcended the simple label of "girlfriends/partners". Complicated did not even begin to explain what they were, so how could she make Bo understand what and who Nadia was to her? It was too private, too close to her heart and Lauren wasn't sure that she wanted Bo to know yet. Bo already had too much power over her, even if she didn't know it. Letting her further in would only make Lauren more vulnerable.

And she didn't want that, despite of her feelings for Bo, wasn't ready for it yet.

Lauren had long ago perfected the art of protecting herself, knowing these past five years that she was the weakest creature in the room. What she lacked in physical strength, she made up for her mental ability, with her knowledge of science and its applications. And what she lacked as a human, she made up for by emulating and absorbing fae norms and values. She developed a mask until it had gradually become indistinguishable from her true face.

Bo's arrival in her life shook that up. Shook her up and introduced chaos to her routine life. It felt good to do new things, to exert herself in ways she never would've considered before. But Nadia was different from all that. It was one thing for Lauren to risk herself helping Bo, but quite another to risk Nadia. Not that she really believed that Bo would harm Nadia deliberately or anything like that but Lauren had protected both of them for 5 years now, and while she may have unintentionally relaxed her own guard, she couldn't just relax the guard around Nadia so easily. (Nadia was her secret heart, her pure intentions)

So she let it go for now. Perhaps she could tell Bo soon.

xxx

The third week after the bombing incident brought a few troubling changes to the waiting atmosphere. With most of the fae guards still scattered amongst new council members and noble families for their protection, there was only a few left in the compound. Lauren thought this must be the reason why the letter reached her in the first place. If the protection and guard detail around the compound was running normally, they would have been able to detect and intercept the letter. At any rate, she just didn't want to think that the Morrigan had the power to send 'secret' messages inside the Light Fae headquarters any time she wanted.

The letter was on her table when she got back to her rooms, so Lauren didn't know who had delivered it (and who could possibly the spy in the house). It was in a simple envelope but once she saw the seal, there was no doubt where it came from. Lauren found it strange that she wasn't nervous to receive a letter from the leader of the Dark Fae, but she did hesitate in opening it. When she finally did (after almost half an hour of just staring at the seal), the only thing she found inside was a business card. It was nearly the same business card that she had received from the Morrigan at their first meeting, but for the hastily scrawled note at the back that simply said: "Offer's still open, Dr. Lewis"

Lauren couldn't help but be bothered by that message. What did it mean?

She knew that the Morrigan, like the Ash, was a political creature. They were usually embroiled in plots and planning that put them steps ahead of their competition. If she was reminding Lauren of her offer to come to the Dark, did that mean that the Morrigan saw no hope for the Ash's recovery? Or did she just want to mess with her head? (Lauren didn't think she rated mind games from the Morrigan, though. She was still just human) Or maybe this was a vague warning of sorts, a call to jump ship before the Morrigan took steps to sink the Light Fae?

It frustrated her but Lauren let it go for now. She had other troubles and it wasn't important (yet).

It turned out to be a good decision too because the next day, they received a report that an Under Fae was seen by the a couple of humans while out hiking. This was a normal enough request on an ordinary day but pretty soon, other reports of Under Fae sightings were reported from all over town.

The human relations department, which was generally in charge of keeping the Fae's existence secret from the human public, was immediately stretched to its limits, covering up the Under Fae appearances. However, they still managed to discover that the Under Faes were some of the secret "illegal pets" that the slain council members kept for their private amusements. Apparently, the elders didn't think to create back up plans for continued confinement of their pets, should they die unexpectedly (as what has happened) and their magic break down. (Lauren wasn't really surprised. This was a typical fae behaviour of not being concerned over dying, as they are a usually long lived race)

In covering up and hunting down the Under Fae, human relations department usually utilized Dyson and Hale, along with a few more undercover fae working in the human justice system and media. With Dyson gone, they were without their best tracker and scrambling to contain the breach. Fortunately Trick volunteered to help and with him also came Bo and Kenzi.

Lauren hadn't been sure at first when Trick suggested that Bo and Kenzi participate in the "clean-up", not certain that Bo's "private investigation" skills would be useful in tracking down the Under Fae. (From what she'd observed, Bo was becoming a better PI as she solved more cases but it was still mostly luck that she had survived until now) She did change her mind once she realized that giving Bo a project was one way to help her stop obsessing constantly over Dyson's disappearance and burn off her restless energy.

Plus, Lauren knew that even if Bo complained about having to do the "Light's dirty work", she liked having something helpful to do. She had been feeling useless and growing concerned these past days over what she called Lauren's "obsession" over the Ash (Lauren made an awkward joke that they were both obsessed, just with different men in mind. It fell flat) and was beginning to tire of Lauren's repeated explanation on how things were still very much uncertain over the safety of the Light and that everyone was contributing on fixing that right away; Lauren's contribution/duty just lied on the Ash.

So far, the only drawback she could see with this arrangement was that Bo wasn't coming around anymore.

xxx

Lauren was beginning to think that their problems would never be over because the minute they finished rounding up the Under Fae "pets", there was another call from the lab about a fae skin they picked up off the highway.

Lauren watched Bo and Hale tiredly play rock-paper-scissors for this new case.

She smiled at Bo's, "Ugh, you suck siren." and cheered a little at the prospect of a field trip.

Of course later, she wasn't cheering anymore. Dyson was back and some Sluagh had decided to take over the Light Fae's territory while the Ash was incapacitated. It was a nightmare as they scrambled to complete the puzzle pieces before the Sluagh could manage to kick them out of their land.

That night, when the enemy was finally foiled and defeated, the heroes went back to their safely re-secured homes and celebrated. Or in Lauren's case, hovered beside the Ash again, as she pondered the past day's events.

As she looked down at the Ash's sleeping visage, it was brought home to her once again how close the Light Fae had come to losing their homes and the real danger that they had only closely avoided. She had told the Ash once that they needed him but at that time she had been more focused on her personal need for his presence. Now she realized the truth of her words again. They do need him. It wasn't just the stragglers challenging the Light Fae's defences and the Under Fae running around willy nilly, it was the Light Fae themselves as a group who needed his leadership. Buzz, before he was discovered as a traitor, had been nowhere near enough. He signed and stamped the Ash's seal on documents shoved in front of him by Jerry Volpe and Marcus Chase but his main "leadership" skill was buying a couple of rounds for all Light Fae in different bars.

Lauren knew they couldn't continue like this any longer. Something would give soon and she hoped that it wouldn't be something bad and irrevocable. The Light held more than her loyalty, it was her life now and she liked it. She didn't want it to be destroyed.

Lauren sighed and with one last look at the Ash's condition, she decided to head back to her rooms. As she got ready for bed, her thoughts decided to turn to Bo. And Dyson.

While she had been somewhat surprised to see him back, she was also a little confused at the what little she had observed between the two. Dyson was professional, not even bothering to give her a gloating smirk but she could put that down to the pressure brought by sensitive situation they were just in. But Bo too hadn't look happy to see her old lover back. It could be that Bo was still a little pissed by Dyson's "incommunicado" status the whole time he was gone but there was something else there. She looked confused, which also confused Lauren. She wanted to ask Bo about it when she had come over the other night for research and braced herself for the inevitable hurt that came with discussing Bo's feelings for other people. What she got instead was food and a gentle admonition to relax. Bo's worry and pampering warmed her heart unlike any other and she finally let herself relax after so long. In fact, she relaxed so much, she started babbling about carbohydrates and its relation to serotonin. It would have been very embarrassing if she wasn't so tired and if Bo hadn't given her this tender smile that made her heart flip flop.

Lauren also found that her brief nap at Bo's old and musty couch was the best rest she'd had for the last three weeks. She knew immediately that it was Bo's presence that allowed her that reprieve and was once again grateful for the succubus' friendship. She fell asleep thinking that she wanted to give Bo back that kind of caring. She wanted a chance at it.

Two days later, any concerns she had for Bo was swept away by a new event.


	21. Out with the old, in with the new

29

She was in the lab, humming an odd tune that someone else was humming earlier. She was actually working on a new project right now, having finally relaxed her "obsessive guarding behaviour" (as her staff had termed it) over the Ash and allowed other people to look after him without double checking it. (She was actually lucky that they had let her get away with it. They could just as easily have taken her behaviour as distrust at their capabilities and in turn, resented her. Instead she knew they'd taken to calling her teacher's pet affectionately behind her back. She resisted the urge to correct them: the Ash was never formally her teacher)

It was late and there wasn't anyone else with her, so Lauren occasionally allowed herself to burst into song when she knew the lyrics and back to humming when she didn't. Sometime later, her ringing phone interrupted her. Groping for it, she answered automatically, without taking her eyes off the microscope, "Dr. Lewis..." and flinched at the loud sounds.

It was Bo. She was saying something about rampant frivolity at the Dal but before Lauren could comment on that, Bo was continuing, "...listen. I thought you should know, they're replacing the Ash."

Lauren blinked and straightened up, unsure if she heard correctly. "What? Uh... wh-who?" She paused to gather her thoughts. "What are you talking about?"

"Some guy from merry old fae town is here and however they elect new Ashes, it's going down this weekend." Bo explained.

Lauren couldn't speak, as she fought the rising confusion inside her. Her mind was furiously trying to concentrate but it was getting nowhere. For a brief second, she thought of a hamster running on a wheel before Bo's voice brought her back. "Are you there?"

"Uh yeah, yeah I'm here." she stuttered out.

Bo seemed to sense her distress and her voice gentled. "Look I'll see what else I can find out okay? Call you later?"

"Yeah, please do." Lauren hung up and couldn't help but reach for her necklace, playing with it as she was wont to do when stressed. A selection for a new Ash. She'd thought about it before, of course. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't ignore that possibility when it was also on everyone's minds and lips. The longer the Ash stayed in his coma, the more rumours there were of replacing him and its consequences.

Lauren refused to participate in those discussions and turned a deaf ear whenever she encountered them. She put all her focus on the Ash's condition and what she could do to wake him because thinking otherwise scared her so very much. (In all her years with the fae, this one something that she had never considered happening, ever. Even when the Ash punished her, she never wished for another Ash to take his place) Her whole existence with the fae rested on the Ash, but the Ash was only a title and different persons may wear that title.

She fought off the panic and despair, brought by that thought. Above all, Lauren was a scientist and she had learned to be highly pragmatic from the fae. She couldn't worry about things that were beyond her control for now. She would do what she has always done well these past 5 years: hope for best and roll with the punches.

xxx

Lauren didn't have to wait long. An hour after receiving the call from Bo, they were all called to the compound's lobby to pay their respects to the Blackthorn and his entourage. She gathered from some of the household members that this was definitely a surprise visit and she felt better knowing that she wasn't the only one caught off guard.

They all waited; the sound of murmured conversations and fidgeting bodies stilled when the door opened and as one, they all bowed and curtsied. Jerry Volpe stepped forward and formally said, "Hail to the Lord Blackthorn. We welcome thee and thy people to the Ash's house."

The Blackthorn let loose a small chuckle. "Rise everyone. I am very much welcomed." He stepped forward and clasped Jerry's hands. "Well met Jerry."

"Well met, my lord." Jerry proved why he was Chief of Staff with his next words. "Your rooms have already been prepared, and I would be glad to escort you to them." Despite having no notice of their arrival, he wouldn't fail any guest of the Ash. The Blackthorn looked slightly impressed but he waved away the words. "Later. Take me to the Ash's office."

"Of course my lord."

They watched him go and when he was out of sight, everyone broke out into excited whispering as they returned to their posts.

Except for Lauren. She didn't go back to the lab and instead lingered nearby. Half an hour later, a guard came to tell her that the Blackthorn was asking for her. She followed him quietly.

In the Ash's office, she kneeled in front of him again with a murmured, "My Lord Blackthorn."

"Rise, my child." His usually flamboyant and jovial voice was replaced by a more somber tone and it made Lauren look up. He looked serious. It startled her. She had met the Blackthorn many times before when the Ash would travel for work and they were familiar with each other already. Where the Ash was stoic and unsmiling, the Blackthorn was the opposite. His mask was that of an affable, mild mannered person - the carrot to the Ash's stick. (In terms of government, the Blackthorn's position in the hierarchy was complicated to articulate due to the confusing political ties of the clans and the elders, but as far as she understood, he was a balance to the Ash's power and his domain was mostly in the Old World.)

If Lauren had any favorite in the Light elite, one of them would be the Blackthorn. He was also a political creature but he was a... gentleman about it. He had an honorable attitude that meant he wasn't mean to those weaker than him (ie humans) and she knew that he truly respected her talents and contributions.

The Blackthorn spoke again as she stood up to fully face him. "I take it you have heard of the good news?"

Lauren nodded. "Yes, the selection games for the new Ash begin this weekend." She hesitated but continued, "My lord, is this truly necessary? I don't mean to be disrespectful but... I ... you know of my situation..."

The Blackthorn straightened and walked towards her, stopping only when they were face to face. "Yes my child, I know your deal with the Ash and yes, this is necessary. He has failed to act accordingly and thus many high elders are dead and the Light Fae is in chaos and danger. We cannot continue this way."

He turned away abruptly and picked up a folder from the desk, flipping through it idly."I have read your reports on the Ash's condition." She didn't speak, waiting for more. He continued. "I must say that I didn't understand half the medical jargon in it, but I had an expert check for me and he says that you've done well considering the circumstances." He paused. "He wanted to see you."

Lauren frowned in confusion. And then she couldn't help but whirl in surprise when she heard a familiar voice come from behind her. "I see you barely managed without me."

"Dr. Bertrand! You're here." she blinked in shock, unable to believe her former mentor was here in the flesh. She had been corresponding to him lately to ask for his help with the Ash, but she hadn't expected to see him.

He fake glared at her. "Why are you so surprised? Of course I'm here." He sniffed a little in pretend disgust but he couldn't help the small smile that crept in his face. "I knew I made the right decision when I appointed you in my place."

Lauren couldn't help the small blush that rose on her face at the compliment. She looked back to the Blackthorn, whose face had gentled slightly. "The Ash must be punished for as the humans say, 'dropping the ball', and allowing the elders to be harmed, but he is still my friend, child. And he will be in better hands this way."

She finally caught up to his meaning. "You're taking him."

He nodded. "Yes. He will be of no use to the new Ash and would only be a liability."

She nodded at that, understanding the reasoning behind it but feeling hurt by the decision nonetheless.

"I will take care of him." Dr. Bertrand said. He raised a challenging eyebrow at her. She nodded to him. "I understand, of course, I just..."

"We understand child." The Blackthorn gave her one last smile and said, "Go now."

She bowed again, to both of them and left. This time she hurried back to the lab.

xxx

The rest of the weekend, while the whole of Light Fae prepared for and celebrated the selection games, Lauren stayed near the Ash in a protracted goodbye. She tried to talk to him, give him thanks or say some sort of meaningful message that would encompass their relationship but she couldn't. She didn't have the words. Instead, she lingered by his bedside, looking at his face. Her staff left her alone this time, giving her space.

She was still so very frightened of what the future would bring but she found that she was less sad at the prospect of losing him. Despite their ups and downs, he had been a great comfort to her and in many ways, she knew that she had been spoiled under his lenient guidance. But she would take this as her legacy from him: he had taught her well and she knew her duties. The Ash maybe just be title, but she was a doctor and that wasn't just a job title. It was who she is and who she will still be in the days to come. She would take courage in that and remain strong. (She imagined that the Ash would be pleased with her kind of attitude)

So when Bo called explaining another harebrained-but-might-just-work idea, she gladly extended her help. Revive a dead stag to cheat the selection games, all in the name of true love? No problem. Bo and the others were to make sure the stag either gets to the bell on time or doesn't get killed by any of the Ash candidates. Her job was to stick a huge needle in her heart to counteract the poison from the hunting arrows. In the end, not counting the actual hunt, the whole operation didn't even take her a minute accomplish.

As they looked on at the embracing couple in front of them with glad hearts, Bo tried to joke a little, "I guess science kicks the crap out of tradition, huh?"

But Lauren could only smile slightly at her, her ears still ringing with the sound of the hunting horn. All hail the new Ash.

30

At the coronation, they had all lined up in the throne room to make their obeisance to Lachlan, the new Ash. Lauren had seen Trick at the front of the line, but the barkeeper hadn't noticed her and left immediately.

Curiously, after that swearing in ceremony and ritual greeting, nothing happened. Lachlan kept the old Ash's personnel, with a few new additions, and people in the compound continued their daily work as though nothing has changed. Lauren's curiosity has prompted her to ask some people if this was a normal occurrence. Some of the 'younger' fae were baffled like she was, expecting immediate action. On the other hand, many of the 'older' ones were less affected by the whole process. (It reminded her of normal human voting process. Government officials were constantly being elected but unless one was directly involved in politics, one seldom felt the change in normal life)

However, the issue with the new Ash's rule was put to the back burner when Lauren learned of what happened to Bo and Dyson's relationship.

Bo called her up one night when she was still in the lab (sometimes Lauren still found herself lingering by the room the old Ash had occupied while he was in a coma) and it took her a while to realize that the succubus was slightly drunk.

"Bo, are you drunk?"

Bo hesitated a little and Lauren could hear the background noise of a bar through the line. "Maybe. Just a little though. They're all still high here and celebrating the new Ash."

"I see. But you don't sound like you're celebrating either. Is something wrong?"

Bo sighed and Lauren felt slightly worried. She still couldn't help but feel protective of Bo and she hated the thought that the succubus was sad and drinking.

"Just relationship stuff." Bo said.

Lauren was surprised. She couldn't help but already envision scenarios of Bo and Dyson breaking up and had to force herself to proceed gently. "What…um… is Dyson okay?"

Bo let out a loud bark of sarcastic laughter but her tone was still sad. "Yeah he's okay. He's great. Awesome. Fantastic. Uh… Anyway, it's not even really his fault, y'know?"

"What isn't?" She was growing confused. Maybe Bo was more drunk than she'd thought.

"He was just trying to help me with my mom." Bo explained. "He wanted to give me his strength so he went to this bitch hag and made a wish in exchange for his wolf." She paused at that and Lauren could hear her drinking. "Anyway, turns out, the thing he valued the most wasn't his wolf anymore. It was me. So she took me from him. His love for me. From him…. Uh… Where was I? Oh yeah, so now he can't love me anymore because it's gone. She took it. So you see, it's not his fault. He just wanted to help."

Lauren took a moment to analyze that explanation and then she clarified, "He went to see a Norn?" For a moment, she allowed herself to be impressed once again by the variety and ingenuity of the faes powers and then she let that thought slip away.

She could almost see Bo's careless shrug from here. "Yeah, Norn, bitch hag. Tomato, Tohmahto."

"Oh Bo, I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that." Lauren felt truly sad for Bo. She knew how Bo felt for Dyson and it was so unfair for her now that she won't get the chance to express those feelings for him. She ignored the tiny part of her that was rejoicing at this 'break up' and reminded herself that she still couldn't be with Bo.

"I know. What right does she have to do that? I mean seriously! Faes suck!" Bo complained. In the background, she could hear a "Hell yeah!" from Kenzi. Lauren relaxed a little, knowing that Bo wasn't alone.

"The old ones are very tricky. It's their main form of entertainment and they don't discriminate between humans and faes. Actually, they consider it a bigger win if they manage to trick a fae. Fae children are often warned about them… um…" she explained lamely, only realizing that she'd essentially insulted Dyson. After that, the conversation ended pretty soon. Bo was still drinking and had been pulled away by Kenzi. Lauren let her go because she was also distracted by her thoughts.

Bo was free now but Lauren still cannot have her. Bo was free but it was not by choice (either hers or Dyson's) and Lauren … beside her bittersweet feelings for Bo, she also felt a strange envy of Dyson's dilemma. Why couldn't the Norn take her feelings for Bo, instead? It would have been so much better for everyone if that had happened. No one would be hurt and everyone would win.

Lauren contemplated this for a moment. She imagined a world where she didn't love Bo and she wasn't being torn apart every day by her feelings. It wasn't as tempting as she'd imagined. She shook her head, banishing the images. Loving Bo hadn't been easy but she couldn't imagine losing that feeling either. Just now thinking about it, made her ache inside, as though someone had hollowed out her body and there was only gaping emptiness left that made her cold and hurt badly. No, fae magic wasn't the answer. She didn't know if there was a real answer to her problems but at least she knew not to aggravate it by making a moving on Bo.

xxx

A couple of days later, Bo called her up again but this time for professional reasons. It didn't matter anyway because Lauren was just happy to see Bo. And Bo seemed happy to see her too. It became clear why after an checking their nth apartment and sleepwalking elderly.

"So, you haven't mentioned yet. Do we open the champagne or not?"

"Over what?" she asked, smiling confusedly.

"New Ash in, old Ash out." Bo sat nearer to her, leaning a little and Lauren couldn't help but peek at her generous cleavage. But Bo's next words wiped everything else out of her mind. "He doesn't have a hold on you anymore. So um... are you, yknow? Free?"

Bo was smiling hopefully, eager and happy for her. It broke Lauren's heart a little to deny that expression. "Well, like all things fae... it's uh... it's complicated." It was a cop-out explanation, Lauren knew but this wasn't the time to discuss such things. Just as she was saying, "I promise you, I will tell you everything..." the forgotten elderly with them shot up screaming in distress, cutting their conversation short.

Lauren intended to keep that promise. It was high time Bo learned about Nadia and she couldn't cowardly stall any longer.

xxx

The next day, she met with Bo again to discuss their new findings. They were able to determine that a Mare had caused the mass sleepwalking insanity at the apartment building and that somehow, she had also managed to latch on to Bo. This has cost the succubus her precious sleep and they were in Lauren's rooms right now to figure out how the Mare fed.

"You're brain is lighting up when you're asleep. The overload is probably what drove the humans insane. See, this area is strobing even when you're awake. I think the Mare established a psychic connection with you, the first time she was on top of you."

"Is that why I'm inside her head too?" Bo asked exhaustedly.

"You shouldn't be. Usually it's a one way street." As Bo explained the difference of hunger that she felt, Lauren was struck by an idea. She couldn't help her admiring tone as she shared her new theory. "It's amazing. It could be that you're even more powerful and unique than anyone has ever given you credit for."

Bo looked flattered and would have flirted more but she was hit by another dizzy spell. Lauren headed straight to her metal cabinet and began to look for an "anti-sleeping" pill. While she was distracted with her fae concoctions, Bo made herself comfortable on her couch and said, "Soo... outside of yours truly, I noticed a distinct lack of crazy people screaming."

"Uh huh?"

"You promised me a bedtime story about you and the Light Fae. Feels like bedtime to me."

Lauren hesitated and then abandoned her metal cabinet to go sit near Bo. It was now or never. They were in her rooms and no one would bother them for a while. She took a deep breath and started, "I wanna tell you Bo, I do. I wanted to ever since... ever since..."

The door opening and Lachlan coming in, interrupted her abruptly. They both turned to look at him and his goons but Bo was first to make an indignant comment. "This is a private party."

Lachlan (she couldn't call him Ash yet. In her mind, he still hadn't earned that privilege) didn't look at her, concentrating on Bo. He said, "Bo right? What is that? Is that short for something?" And then he proceeded to make himself at home, treating her sofa chair like a throne. "You might remember me as the guy that's just been crowned head of the Light Fae." He was still talking to Bo and ignoring her.

Bo was never one to back down from a challenge and gave as good as she got. "I remember a preening jackass prancing around the woods... with a bow and arrow." Lauren vaguely felt that she should stop Bo from antagonizing Lachlan, because as he has just said, he was now the head of Light Fae. But she stayed silent, watching and waiting. (This was a learned behavior. One that has served her well in the past)

"I've been asking around about you. You have a kind of casual approach to faedom, haven't you?"

"Kinda like your approach to locked doors?"

At that, Lachlan paused and then he finally looked at her as he said, "Actually, I'm a bit of a stickler for protocol."

That was her cue.

Lauren had spent five years kneeling and bowing and offering the traditional greetings to various fae that she met. She hadn't always known how to do it, but she hadn't minded it. Even during that first time with the old Ash and her "official" welcome to the fae, she had only felt gratitude that he was helping her. Later it became a sign of her submission and respect; but there was also something about the elaborate actions that she liked and tickled her fancy. (Just because she liked science, didn't mean she couldn't appreciate tradition. And she might've enjoyed the story of chivalric knights and brave princesses stories she'd read when she was younger)

This was the only time she could remember feeling true humiliation at the act and for a brief second utter loathing for Lachlan rose up in her, only to get stuck in her throat to burn painfully. She hated, hated hated for Bo to see this and she was helpless to stop any of it from happening. She got down on one knee silently and ignored Bo's tight grasp of her arm and the whispered, "Get up."

"As the new Ash, all the old Ash's _chattel_ is passed to me. Means everything from the lab, including you." Lachlan explained, daring to even wink at her. And then he turned to his goons and said, "Take her out and come back for the rest and help him." while gesturing to the 'dreamcatcher' tech and other lab equipment she'd brought.

Before the men could even touch her, Bo was there with a hissing threat. Lauren would have appreciated the defence if she weren't still in shock from her conflicting feelings. She could only stand there, looking at the floor and listen to Lachlan chastise Bo. "Now now now Bo, don't be so petulant. If you want access to my _property_, you make a formal request."

Lauren finally made a move when Bo pulled a knife on Lachlan and said, "Lauren, is no one's property." She touched the succubus' tense arm and explained softly, not wanting to further agitate her, "Bo, don't. You'll just make it worse."

"No I'm gonna make it right." Bo insisted, her knife hand not wavering.

"Bo, look at me. Please. I need you to stay out of this." Bo was still focused on Lachlan and while Lauren was focusing on her, she could also see out of the corner of her eye, Lachlan's amused gaze jumping between them. Slowly, Bo lowered her hand and Lauren let her go. She made a move to leave with the guard but stopped to turn back. "Bo, stay awake."

That was the last she'd see of Bo for the week.


	22. Doctor on the Lam

31

It had been a couple of hours since Lachlan's goons had frog marched her back to the labs and given her vague directions to continue her work. Lauren had just followed obediently, still fuming and humiliated but not wanting to make a big deal out of it. She worked quietly but in the back of her mind, she continued to dissect the previous events, unable to let it go. She was currently checking a blood sample when it finally hit her.

"Damn it!" The small expletive burst out accidentally but there was no one near at the time anyway, so Lauren allowed herself to show her frustration, rubbing a tense hand over her face and pulling on her hair a little. "Damn it." she echoed softly as her thoughts finally began to coalesce.

It had been seriously bugging her why Lachlan had done what he did. Not that it wasn't in his right to do so because for all she knew, he was just that arrogant and that was just how he treated his "property". But it also confused her. He made sure to bring her back here, put her down in her "place" and essentially dismiss her whole being as triviality..._ but_... he could have done that anytime this past few days. She realized that he had specifically chosen this time because he somehow _knew_ that Bo would be there. Wasn't he in fact, fixated on Bo the whole time?

She shook her head at the realization. It wasn't about her at all. It was all about Bo and she was just the unwitting player (once again a pawn) in his games. He had deliberately emphasized the way he made her kneel in front of him and the way he'd called her "chattel" and "property", basing his actions on the way Bo had increasingly reacted.

Lauren closed her eyes as the despair rose up in her. She felt a great sense of loss and sadness, her throat closing up with the tears she repressed. She knew that having a new Ash would change things, but this was another matter altogether. She was going to be used against Bo again and she would be helpless to stop it.

xxx

Lauren refused to play the Ash's game. He had plans for Bo but she wasn't sure what it was. Because of this, she couldn't warn Bo yet. The succubus was just too impulsive and has no regard for her own safety. Even though she'd promised not to keep things like this, Lauren decided that it was better that she handle it herself for now. She didn't need things to blow up out of proportion and that was guaranteed to happen if Bo were involved.

She didn't call Bo for a couple of days, trying to downplay their true relationship. When she heard later that Bo had asked for Lachlan's help in rescuing Kenzi from another dimension, she very carefully tried to not show too much interest in the matter. It became somewhat harder to feign indifference because the news had captured the attention of the compound, considering what Bo wanted to attempt was very dangerous (to the fae, the Baba Yaga was one of the more vicious Under Fae that shouldn't be trifled with), but she managed it in the end. (Lauren found that since discovering her feelings for Bo, it was harder to hide her emotions these days)

Lachlan had visited a couple of times, ostensibly to check her department, but she could feel his curious eyes landing on her often. Still, nothing happened as the days passed by and she began to think that she was being too paranoid. She missed Bo too. She had to cut short a few phone calls that the succubus initiated, citing her work as an excuse and it made her feel crappy. Their friendship was still too new that every time she had to say goodbye, she felt like it would be the last time.

It was this latter feeling that drove her less-than-sensible (crazy) actions later.

It was very early in the morning when Lachlan called for her to come to his office and when she arrived, she was surprised to see other humans. A second look identified them as some of the former Ash's humans, most of which she'd met in passing over the years. They too looked confused at being called in but before they could ask each other, Lachlan was there to inform them.

"As you know, you're all mine now." he started, lounging casually at his chair, his eyes flicking once in a while to the different faces of the 12 or so humans assembled in front of him. They were all listening intently and although some looked put out at his 'wording', no one interrupted.

Lachlan continued, "I have decided that from now on, all humans are to lodge in the compound where I can keep a close eye on you lot. A curfew will be enforced and aside from work, no one would be setting foot outside without my permission."

The announcement was met with silence for a few moments before an angry buzzing rose. Lauren herself was shocked and silent. Lachlan raised a hand that abruptly stopped the rising noise. "This is what I've already decided. If you don't like it, you know the consequences." with that last subtle threat, he gestured a shooing motion with his hand and said, "Dismissed."

Stunned, they all left his office and began to break up in smaller groups to discuss this latest development. Some had begun arranging for their move (except for Lauren none of them actually lived in the compound and just stayed there occasionally for the odd times that the old Ash had required them to), while others were still busy protesting this new edict. Some were looking at Lauren in envy, knowing that she would be the least inconvenienced but she ignored them. Instead, she headed straight to her rooms, grabbed her pre-packed luggage (for when the old Ash sprung an impromptu trip) and left the compound. She didn't bother stopping by the garage and instead hailed a taxi a couple of blocks away.

She arrived at the clubhouse and promptly called Bo.

The moment she hung up, she immediately regretted all her actions during the past hour. She stood up a couple of times, prepared to leave and go back to the compound but she stopped every time and sat back down, hesitating until Bo and Kenzi arrived to find her pacing at their doorstep.

She was ushered in quickly and Lauren pretended not to see Kenzi's disbelieving stare at her small luggage. Once they were in, the story poured out of her with little prodding.

"... so starting tomorrow, unless we're working, all humans are to be locked in their living quarters. Compliments of the new Ash." Lauren said, her voice trembling slightly from the leftover adrenaline rush of her 'escape'

Kenzi's dry, sarcastic tone brought her back down. "Well, here you are, running amuck." Bo's look made her add, "I mean, what an Ash-hole." before giving Lauren a brief pat on the shoulder.

She didn't take her eyes off of Bo, still trying to articulate her feelings and willed the succubus to understand them. Lauren feared that the Lachlan's edict would mean the end of whatever was between her and Bo, and she couldn't take it. "I kinda panicked when I found out. I just ran while I still could. I didn't know where else to go, I'm sorry."

Bo took her by the shoulders then and with a little shake, said, "Don't be. We'll fix this, he can't treat you this way!"

"Yeah! He can!" Lauren interrupted, getting worked up again. "The old Ash was more lenient than most. Rules were bent. But this new one, he just..."

"...he's not so bendy." Bo finished. "Right..." Lauren watched her head over to a chest container and realized what Bo was planning to do from Kenzi's alarmed, "Please tell me you're just blowing off steam."

Lauren stopped her. "You can't!" she talked quickly, knowing Bo was impatient and that once she got started, neither she nor Kenzi would be able to stop her. She was really beginning to regret coming here in the first place. "Lachlan has no idea that I'm here. I don't know what he'll do to either one of us if he finds out."

Bo grabbed her shoulders again, their faces close to each other. Lauren could clearly see her anger and determination on her behalf. "I don't care. You stay here as long as you need."

"I'll be putting you in too much danger. Both of you." Lauren said, glancing at Kenzi. "Besides Bo, I don't want to complicate things..." she hadn't wanted to say that but now that it was out there, Bo's face mellowed out in understanding. "Oh...yeah..." Lauren wasn't sure if Bo truly understood what she meant but right now, that possibility didn't send her panicking as she normally would. (Lauren thought maybe she was already on emotion overload, not just from today's events but from the whole last month alone, and this was her limit)

Bo continued, "But, no. You think of this as your safe haven."

They both left it at that but she heard Kenzi mutter behind her, "Gee, I wonder what could possibly go wrong."

She couldn't help but wonder either.

xxx

A couple of hours later, Dyson and his friend Caden showed up talking about a Mongolian Death Worm (something she'd read a little about in an article she found on matter transmutation), and then Bo was leaving for the docks to gather intel about it. Privately, she shared Kenzi's irritation that just because Bo was unaligned meant she should automatically save their butts. However, there was no point arguing because, well, Bo had already left with the guys leaving her with Kenzi.

She and Kenzi stared at each other awkwardly for awhile before the girl made a quick excuse and left the house.

Alone for now, Lauren wandered around Bo's clubhouse randomly, her mind unable to rest from its constant worrying. _She shouldn't have come here_. This was the line that kept popping up in her brain every few minutes. She recognized this as truth. Over the last few days Lauren had been trying to make it seem like she had no deeper connections with Bo to throw Lachlan off the scent. But the minute he made his move with the curfew restrictions, she went off running to the last person she should have gone to.

But then again, Bo was the only one she could ran to. She couldn't go to the Dal like Dyson had done and ask for sanctuary. She was still human and technically a slave of the Ash, and therefore her only rights were the ones her master deemed to give her. She just wished that going to Bo wouldn't cause problems for the succubus.

_She shouldn't have come here._ It was stupid of her to come. It only made things more complicated, not just for her (because of her feelings) but also for Bo and Kenzi. Bo clearly felt something for her. She couldn't deny it anymore just because she was afraid that her feelings could be returned. But Bo also felt something for Dyson still, and Lauren was not... Ugh! Enough! She didn't want to get stuck in that never ending loop again. What was important right now was to decide if she should stay or not.

It hadn't been that long yet. Surely when they noticed her disappearance, they wouldn't suspect yet that she had run away if she came back now. And even if the Ash won't believe her, he could still be lenient with his punishment?

No, Lauren shook her head. Bo was right, this one is "not so bendy" and she suspected would entirely enjoy humiliating her for her brazen attempt to escape.

Lauren frowned and felt her heart sink to her stomach. _She shouldn't have come at all_. Or more precisely, she shouldn't have left in the first place. Because all of this was futile effort on her part. There was no true escape for her, not when she left the most important thing in her life behind: Nadia.

Lauren cannot help but think about how leaving the way she did could endanger Nadia all the more from the new Ash. But she also refused to believe that Lachlan would be -not cruel, she knew he had the potential for malice- but he couldn't be stupid. They both knew that Nadia was her weakness and he need only threaten her to get Lauren to follow him. But he should also know that if he manipulated her through Nadia, then he was also limiting himself. He could keep her away from Nadia or make things uncomfortable for both of them but Lachlan couldn't harm Nadia in truth. If he did, then he will lose her forever. And she wasn't being prideful if she thought that that was not his desired conclusion; she just knew her own worth to the Light.

There were too many ifs for her to be comfortable about the situation, but this was a situation she had created herself. She could go back right now, at this very minute. She only had to write a note for Bo and she could pretend that this never happened. So why wasn't she moving? Why was she was still sitting in their couch instead of calling a cab to take her back to the compound?

The simple answer was also a very hard answer to swallow: Lauren was being selfish.

Perhaps for once in her life, ever since she came to be with the fae, she was making a decision that did not take into account Nadia's well being.

Before, she would have said that what was good for Nadia was good enough for her; that their lives, their needs, were truly entwined as one and that there was no gap between her desires and Nadia's welfare.

It was different now. She wished it wasn't but it was. And this whole moment was her proof.

Running to Bo had nothing to do with Nadia but all to do with her. When she heard Lachlan's declaration of virtual imprisonment, her mind had stalled but her heart raced in panic. The thought of being stuck in the compound day in, day out with no chance of seeing Bo whatsoever had scared her so badly that she had ignored her reason and escaped at the first chance she had. (Just like she'd done before with the news of her father) It should have shocked her, how much the succubus had come to mean to her in just a few months, but it didn't. Bo was special and it wasn't just because Lauren's in love with her that she could say that. Bo was different and unique from all other people she'd met before, human or fae. And she wanted Bo in her life, any way she could have her.

Lauren was here because this was her only chance to be with Bo. She knew that her time was very limited (she couldn't really abandon Nadia for long) but she was determined to make the best of it anyway. She would enjoy this precious time out with Bo that she carved for herself and make great memories out of it that she could keep for later.

xxx

_Memories her ass. SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE FUCKING COME HERE!_ was the revised thought that blared noisily in Lauren's mind as she ignored the noisy moaning and groaning coming from the two people upstairs. She tried hard to concentrate on the cupcakes that she was making and utterly failed in distracting herself. So she tried a new tactic: she tried logic.

Bo was injured. She needed to recover from her injuries. To do that, she needed to feed from sexual energy because she was a SUCCUBUS!

Lauren took a deep breath to calm down. It was shocking how angry she felt. She had always been able to repress her anger before, but then again she had always been allowed to escape -to her lab or her rooms or Nadia's chamber. This time she was well and truly stuck in place and would have to wait out the cause of her aggravation. Lauren was tempted to ask Kenzi to turn up the volume of her music but she didn't want the girl to know more of her distress. (It's the reason why she hadn't left the house already) She was already shooting Lauren pitying looks and it was another sting to her pride.

Even knowing Dyson was also made to listen to this horrendous noise was no comfort. He looked uncomfortable but ultimately uncaring. Lauren bet that at this moment, he wasn't minding that the Norn took his feelings for Bo.

Lauren sighed again as she moved to start cleaning up. An hour ago, she had committed herself to staying here with Bo until Lachlan made his move. Then Kenzi came home, followed shortly by the trio of 'investigators'. She had worried when she saw Bo was injured and felt the bite of jealousy when she realized what that meant. And then Bo had smiled a little at her as though to reassure her that no, she won't have sex and dragged Caden upstairs. Five minutes later, the growling and banging started.

She didn't know why she was so angry too. At least Bo wasn't with Dyson, right? Caden was a stranger and she knew that it was purely sex and feeding this time. But it still burned her, made her want to puke as her insides roiled in jealous rage. And more than that, she was deeply hurt. It wasn't the fact that Bo was succubus and therefore naturally polyamorous. Although that fact already stung, she had more or less dealt with that part of Bo's nature.

It was the other fact that she knew Bo could heal without actual sex. Hell, she could drain a person with just a kiss!

Maybe it was preferable to have actual sex, to enhance the 'flavour' of her food, Lauren wasn't sure. But in this instance, was it really necessary to do it knowing that there was an unwitting audience downstairs? Was Bo really that arrogant or was it done deliberately? Maybe she was trying to hurt Dyson by throwing it in his face (and the fact that Bo was doing it with a former pack mate would be an added burn) and Lauren was only in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

It also didn't help that the noise Bo was making was turning her on. She couldn't help herself, despite her anger and jealousy. Those sounds pulled at her memories of her night with Bo and she remembered how glorious the succubus had looked in her pleasure. She hated that her body would betray her like this and hated that Dyson was less than 5 steps away from her and hoped he couldn't smell her unwanted desire.

It was just all too much at once, on top of an already stressful morning she had and the ding sound of the oven timer wasn't enough to drown out the shouts of release echoing from upstairs.

xxx

That night Lauren found herself unable to sleep. It had been a very long day and she was exhausted, mentally and emotionally. As she stared at the cracked and chipping ceiling of Bo's living room, her mind insisted on reviewing the events of the day.

After every one had left again to crash the bidding party for the Mongolian Death worm, she had been left alone again with nothing better to do. It had been a big relief to see them go.

She had just taken the cupcakes out of the oven to let them cool when Bo came down the stairs in her robe, all glowing and flushed from her recent activity. She had come to admire the cupcakes and Lauren thought she could still smell the scent of sex around her, not quite overpowered by the scent of the baked goods. It made her sound short when she said they weren't cool yet.

Bo had looked at her, all innocent and bewildered and asked, "You're not mad, are you?"

Lauren had to fight harder to keep her violent feelings in check. It was the first time that she had truly felt angry at the succubus and it made her feel powerful and uncomfortable at the same time. She sighed heavily and said, "It's alright Bo. You had to heal. It's who you are."

And then before either of them could say anything else, Caden was there and grabbing her not-yet-cool cupcakes and stuffing them in his stupid mouth. He made a good target for her anger, especially when he so casually draped his arm over Bo's shoulders as though claiming her for his own. But she still stopped herself, knowing that Kenzi and Dyson were listening carefully at their interactions. What came out instead was a mini science babble on how simple it was to make delicious cupcakes, with eggs as a binding agent. She pretended not to hear Kenzi's snarky aside.

"Missed the lab much?" Bo asked knowingly.

Lauren shifted her thoughts to the her earlier concerns. She shared with Bo her theory about Lachlan's leniency if she returned and apologized right now.

Bo's answer was predictable. "No, I've met the guy. Lenient would be an ankle bracelet of razors."

Lauren bit her tongue to contain her automatic reaction to reply, 'An ankle bracelet of razors is still better than staying here and listening to you and Caden have sex."'

Bo continued, "...Besides if you go back now with your tail between your legs, Lachlan would have more power over you than ever before. You're safe here."

She knew it didn't work that way, but she let herself be convinced anyway. Bo wanted her here and despite her anger, she wanted to be here too.

Of course that did not mean that Lauren forgave her already. As nice as Bo's speech was about having someone else take care of her for once, there was no way in hell she'd sleep in the bed where Bo and Caden had rolled all over this afternoon.

Which brought her back to this moment: Bo's couch was surprisingly comfortable despite its looks but it did nothing to help her sleep.

She sighed and turned over again, fluffing her pillow a little. She hoped that the next days would turn out better than today, she needed it to be.


	23. Together again

_Hey guys, sorry for the late update. I've recently started watching this British TV show, Bad Girls (1999-2006) and was thoroughly distracted by its gripping plot and colorful characters. :D Anyway, here's the chapter for "It's Better to Burn Out Than Fae Away" episode. Enjoy. _

32

Lauren's grace period lasted all of two days. It was probably the best and worst two days she'd had since coming to the fae. On one hand, she was able to spend all her time with Bo (at least on the first day) but on the other hand, it was also the longest she'd been willingly apart from Nadia. (She didn't count the days when she traveled with the Ash, or that time she spent in the dungeons)

Her bad mood around Bo passed through the night and by morning, her only feelings were of being overwhelmed and a manic sort of glee as she fully realized her "freedom". She woke up a little too early and started making breakfast, which attracted her new housemates like electrons to protons. Bo came in smiling softly at her, followed closely by a still half asleep, staggering Kenzi.

That first day was the best because after breakfast, Kenzi excused herself and somehow managed to leave her and Bo all alone in the house. It was an absolute delight to have the succubus attention for more than a couple of hours and in the intimate privacy of her home. They teased and flirted with each other, both highly aware of the other's wants and feelings, but maintaining a short distance between them and sustaining that delicious tension.

Lauren got the feeling that Bo thought she was still too "fragile" especially with the recent events happening, and that's why she never made a serious move. For Lauren's part, she was just enjoying the emotional intimacy between them and not letting their physical desires overwhelm their senses (and maybe she still couldn't quite forget that only yesterday Bo was with another guy, making yet another guy jealous)

The second day, Kenzi refused to let them get away as yesterday. This time, she stuck close and often placed herself between them. She even dragged Bo for a quick talk in the kitchen and Lauren caught the phrase "fugitive" before they could lower their heated voices.

It brought her down from her relative high. She felt slightly depressed that Kenzi had a good point. She couldn't stay with Bo forever and pretending that everything's alright won't change anything. And then shortly after that, Bo was pulled away for a case, with the Morrigan hiring her no less. Kenzi came with as usual so she was once again left alone with only her thoughts for company.

Lauren sighed heavily as her whirling thoughts began to press in on her. She didn't want to spend the whole time rehashing old arguments and worries so instead of brooding about her current situation, she grabbed her laptop and settled on the couch. She tried to do some work, accessing the remote server for her computer in the lab. Even though it was mostly catching up on her paperwork, Lauren was grateful to lose herself in it for a couple of hours.

She took a small break for lunch to make herself a sandwich and continued working until Kenzi came to interrupt her in the afternoon.

Lauren put her laptop away when she saw the goth girl walk towards her with a serious face on. She had a feeling that this encounter was long overdue.

She had never been truly comfortable in the girl's presence and she knew that Kenzi felt the same way with her. At first, she thought it was just Kenzi sulking because of the way she'd told her off that first time they met at the lab. She'd felt sorry about her actions later, especially when Bo tried to explain Kenzi's situation and she'd seen how fond the succubus was of the girl. Lauren promised herself to keep an open mind about Kenzi and maybe try to befriend her too. After all, she didn't have many human friends who knew about the fae.

Eventually though, she realized that the girl didn't like her and she found that she didn't care either way. When the foot soup debacle happened, Lauren decided that she and Kenzi were just too different to ever get along as well as they both related to Bo. The only good thing that came out of that event was that Kenzi had learned to trust her as a professional, and for Lauren that was good enough. (She told herself, she didn't mind that Kenzi got along well with Hale or Dyson or Trick or heck, any other person but her. But sometimes, she allowed herself to acknowledge her envy for the goth's ability to relate to people, human or fae)

Kenzi sat on the centre table to face her and baldly stated, "Let's cut the crap. I know you did a nice thing helping Bo against her mom, but you also spybanged her for the Ash and broke her heart. She really likes you." She paused and continued in a more playful but deadly serious tone. "So, if you hurt my best friend again, one day in the future anthropologists will find your skeleton in an unmarked grave with a massive, massive life ending blow to your head by a totally awesome chick that rhymes with frenzy. Okay?"

Various responses flashed through Lauren's brain in a quick second. She felt conflicted as different emotions rose up in her heart. She wanted to tell Kenzi that she didn't know what she was talking about, that she had no right to tell her off. She wanted to ignore Kenzi's threat or maybe laugh at her face to show that she wasn't the least bit afraid of the goth girl. Instead something else occurred to her, something that was already brewing in the back of her mind, but only articulated itself today.

Lauren replied, "You know I get the whole best friend routine, I do. But if you're trying to be the only human in Bo's life, you're not being much of a friend at all. You're being selfish."

She watched Kenzi's turn to be conflicted and silenced by her quiet reply.

She knew that Kenzi fancied herself as the observer, the one who noticed everything because she was human and no one cared to pay attention to her. Lauren knew this from Kenzi's snarky rejoinders and how she could cut a person down with her sarcastic, insightful wit. But Kenzi underestimated her this time. Lauren was, the original human so to speak. She was a veteran at being unobtrusive and blending into the background, long before Kenzi had learned of the fae's existence. It was also her job as a doctor and researcher to note the tiniest details that would help her connect the dots and make the proper judgement calls required of her.

So yes, she could guess what Kenzi felt and thought about. Perhaps better than the girl knew herself.

Because despite the similarities of their situation, there was also a great big difference between them. On one hand, Lauren respected the fae she served, had grown fond of them over the years, and they returned the sentiment. On the other hand, it was more simple: Kenzi loved Bo and Bo loved Kenzi. For a girl like Kenzi to have found Bo, to have a proper home and a real friend (family, really) that cared for her, it was no wonder that the girl was so loyal and fiercely protective of the succubus. And Lauren knew that Kenzi was good for Bo too. There was an equal give-and-take balance in their relationship.

But that closeness between them also worked against Kenzi. In a world where humans were common and faes were glittering, interesting and powerful, it was a challenge not to feel small and shabby at times. Lauren had risen above other faes through her sheer hard work and intelligence but most importantly, before Bo, she wasn't as personally invested in them (apart from what they could help her with, regarding Nadia's condition).

Kenzi had her unique talents and connections gained from living in the streets which she offered freely to Bo. But she must also feel that some of her worth lay in the fact that she was Bo's best girl buddy: one that the succubus could confide in. Now, Lauren finally understood that she was a double threat to all of that. Not only was she another human female that had the skills and knowledge to properly guide Bo on her new life with the fae, she was also a potential romantic partner for the succubus.

This realization made Lauren sigh. It wasn't like it would change anything. Sure, she was glad to have more understanding on why the other girl seemed unable to stand her but her problem with Kenzi was so far down the list of her current problems that there was no point worrying about it now. And then just speaking (thinking) of the devil, somebody knocked on the door.

xxx

Lauren listened to Kenzi bluffing against Lachlan. She was trying to be her usual flippant self but Lauren could clearly hear the fear threading her voice. And then the girl seemed to choke, while still joking, "...Except this one, he's awesome"

She saw the fae goon holding Kenzi up by her throat and she couldn't hide anymore. "Let her go." Lauren demanded.

Lachlan gave a small smirk to his goons and said, "That's what I love about humans. Whistle loud enough and they'll come."

She ignored his taunt and came closer, trying bravely not to show her fear. She had to be strong now, for Kenzi's sake. "You're overstepping your authority by attacking Bo's human and you know it. Put her down or what is left of the light fae elders will hear about this." Lauren argued, her voice wavering a little with tension.

Lachlan didn't even acknowledge her added threat. He got into her face and his usual smooth tone reflected his irritation and impatience as he hissed, "It's merely only the thinnest wisp of respect of Bo and her territory that I haven't had you dragged by your hair this very second. 24 hours doctor and if you haven't your wiggled your little rear end back home by then, your special research project goes dark. I'll pull the plug and you can say goodbye..."

"I'll be there." she said quickly, his threat proving more effective.

"Very good." With a last glare, he hissed an order to his guard and a coughing, wide eyed Kenzi was released. They watched him leave before Lauren's nerves finally caught up to her.

"Kenzi... I'm so sorry I brought my problems into your home." Lauren could feel the heavy weight of guilt settle into her chest as she looked at the other girl. This was all her fault.

Kenzi was rubbing at her neck and recovered enough to say incredulously, "Are you really going back to him?"

Lauren couldn't explain without mentioning Nadia and she couldn't reveal that to Kenzi before she confessed to Bo. Instead of answering, she came nearer and changed the subject. "Let me see your neck."

After a quick inspection, she determined that there wasn't any long term damage. A couple of bruises maybe but everything was fine. Then she headed straight to the kitchen and promised Kenzi a great meal. The goth girl seemed content to let her go and only flopped down on the couch, already phoning Bo.

xxx

True to her word, Lauren served Kenzi a wonderful meal and practically waited on her hand and foot to assuage her guilt. Of course, it didn't go unnoticed but Kenzi only teased her a little about it. They didn't talk about what happened, both preoccupied by their thoughts. Kenzi passed out a couple of hours later from all the wine, and she left Lauren staring at their dirty dishes.

Lauren knew she should start cleaning up a bit but she only sat there, sipping at her wine. All thoughts that she had tried to put off had come rushing back to fill the silence now. She resisted another glance at Kenzi's prone form, knowing that the bruises in her neck were already showing.

And all of that was her fault.

_She shouldn't have come here_, Lauren thought for the nth time. It was stupid to think that she could be safe here. It was unfair of her to bring her problems here and expect Bo to protect her. The succubus was her friend, and maybe more, but she shouldn't have to take the brunt of Lauren's troubles. It wasn't like she could help anyway.

_And she didn't even know about Nadia_.

That was the problem. Lauren had come to Bo for help, but she wasn't even telling her the whole truth yet. She was actively deceiving the succubus, making her think that ... what? That they had a chance together? Lauren shifted uneasily. She didn't even know if Bo wanted to be with her like that. And even if she did, what about Nadia? And how would that work exactly? Lauren was human and Bo was a succubus. She wouldn't ever be enough for Bo's appetites and she would forever have to share her with other people.

The familiar sense of despair settled once again on her shoulders and she felt herself bending at the weight of it. It was hopeless. Whatever dreams she had for her and Bo were just that, dreams. It was better to forget them and concentrate on reality. Lachlan had given her 24 hours and then her time was up. Lauren needed to tell Bo about Nadia now, confess everything and hope that the succubus could forgive her and still be her friend. If she'll be locked up in the compound for a long time, she needed that reassurance at least.

xxx

Bo's voice broke her musing. "Everyone okay?"

Lauren put her wine down and turned to look at her. "We're fine, uh, all things considered."

"Where's Kenzi?"

Lauren pointed to the couch. "She drank some wine."

Bo gave a slight smile at her roommate's state and pulled up a chair, facing her. "I think I have some really, really good news." she started.

Lauren interrupted her quickly, wanting to get her part over and done with before Bo could say anything else. "Bo, I appreciate everything you're doing for me, I really do. But I'm going back to the Ash's compound. I... I can't let you and Kenzi take this kind of heat for me." She was about to start her explanation when this time Bo derailed her, saying, "You might not have to go back for long."

It was a curious statement and she couldn't help but ask, "What do you mean?"

"If I find Jason, the Morrigan will tell me how to free you from this thing that's tying you to the Ash." Bo stated simply and eagerly, not knowing she'd dropped a live bomb. Lauren felt her heart stutter and her brain freeze at the words. She wasn't sure she'd heard right and she had to rally with all her will to respond. "That's really something." she said weakly. Bo was smiling at her and she had to struggle to smile back, but her brain was running wild now with questions. She continued, "Uh, did she say something else? Any specifics?"

"No, she wouldn't cough up any details but she did give me her blood oath." Bo said. It figured. The Morrigan knew how to cure Nadia? For how long? Did she have something to do with it? Lauren suddenly remembered that letter she received when the old Ash was in a coma, and took a deep breath.

Bo finally noticed that Lauren wasn't squealing in glee with the news. "And yet you don't look as excited as I am."

Lauren immediately reassured her. "I am. I guess. I mean... we have no guarantees how any of this is gonna turn out." she said, trying to hold back her conflicting feelings and be a voice of reason. There was no point in building up her hope like this. Not without proof. Not yet.

Bo grabbed her hand in hers and stared into her eyes. "Hey. I will not let anything happen to you." she promised earnestly.

Lauren gave her a rueful smile. "I know that you'll try. But tomorrow I'll be gone. Maybe forever." The last bit slipped out of her accidentally as Lauren realized the import of all that's happened. This was it, her chance to tell Bo what the "thing" tying her to the Ash was. But this was also the end of the line; she might never see Bo again when she returned to the compound tomorrow. And if what the Morrigan promised was true and Nadia was finally woken from her long sleep, then anything she might've had with Bo wouldn't matter anymore. Couldn't matter anymore.

So instead of going ahead with her original plans for the night, she found her hand instead sliding up to cup Bo's nape, feeling the small, soft hairs under her fingers.

"I need to know that this isn't you getting over Dyson." Lauren said, gazing intently at the other woman. This... she shouldn't do this, shouldn't give Bo more hope. Briefly, she reflected on Kenzi's earlier threat but it was only a wisp of a thought, overpowered by the rising emotions in her. She needed this. She had to have one more night with Bo. Her one, maybe last, chance to show all her love. Selfish or not, she needed this.

"No, this is about us." Bo answered fervently.

And then they were kissing and once again, Lauren had little idea of how they were able to maneuver up the stairs and into Bo's room. For a moment, seeing the red sheets reminded her vividly of their previous encounter and its devastating end. But Bo was kissing her again, and all thoughts of the past were wiped from her head. Only this present was important. Bo's lips and Bo's touch burning her.

Last time, Lauren had been in denial of her feelings. She thought that she had only wanted a couple of nights with Bo, to fulfill her desire and then get on with her life. Last time, they had been cautious and hesitant - they were strangers still, and their bodies were uncharted, dangerous territories that were carefully traveled and gently appreciated. Last time, Lauren felt small and grateful and awed.

This time, they were more frantic. Pants pulled down quickly, their tops and bras almost torn from their haste to feel and taste the familiar flavours of their lover. They started rough, tumbling on the bed with the force of their desire. Teeth and nails scrabbled at skin, the slight pain only driving their need further.

Lauren felt the urge to take and take and take, all that Bo could give her. She banished all thoughts of Nadia and her possible cure from her mind, wanting only to make this moment with Bo last. She was so greedy for the succubus, and she delighted in Bo's reciprocal hunger for her. In this moment, she felt like the predator and Bo was the vulnerable one. And while she took everything, Bo held nothing back, giving in to her completely until they both burst in delirious climax.

After a few minutes of catching their breath, Bo smiled at her and would've said something but Lauren just kissed her and started again. This time, it was the opposite of their recent encounter. Lauren took her time in showing her reverent devotion to Bo's body. She was gentle and deliberate. She spent what seemed like hours just kissing every inch of skin she could, light kisses that worshipped and teased the succubus. She poured all her love into every kiss, each one a promise of her affection and care. And when Bo couldn't take it anymore, Lauren rose above her and whispered, "Feed from me."

Bo's eyes were bright blue and so heavy with desire. She looked at Lauren's eyes and didn't hesitate. She pulled Lauren closer and kissed her until Lauren felt that familiar feeling of sweet electricity in her mouth and her energy - her life force - passed from her and into the woman she loved so much. The sensation was too much for both of them and they both came again. Lauren felt Bo hug her tightly and heard her murmur, "Thank you." Then Bo was rearranging her suddenly boneless body on the bed and cuddling against her in the aftermath.

She fought off sleep, relishing the feel of Bo spooned against her back, her arm heavy on Lauren's torso. She struggled to memorize this feeling, embedding this encounter in her mind until she finally fell asleep.

xxx

After Bo and Kenzi left that morning, Lauren packed her meager belongings and left the clubhouse.


	24. The cure for the secret what!

33

Lachlan was there to greet her when she returned. She knew why he was there. His strange hissing voice, so much different from the old Ash's soft and deep voice, was gloating and triumphant as he met her. "Ah, the prodigal child returns. Welcome back Dr. Lewis, did you enjoy your vacation?"

She kneeled in front of him and was gratified to see him startle at the gesture. She humbly bowed and murmured, "My Lord Ash, I ask forgiveness for my actions these past days. I have no excuse and only beg for your mercy."

He blinked. Lauren had decided earlier that she didn't mind grovelling for Lachlan. It could only help her in the long run, and allow her to soothe his pride. Now that she was back here, she would do all she could to ensure that her stay be as comfortable as possible. She didn't want Lachlan restricting her access to Nadia, with everything at stake.

Lauren didn't see Lachlan's calculating stare at her bowed head but she heard him say, "Well now, I didn't expect this at all but I can't say that I'm displeased Dr. Lewis. I like you in this position." She gritted her teeth and didn't say anything. Finally, Lachlan got bored with her silence and sent her away to the lab.

xxx

Lauren detoured to her room and dropped her luggage inside before heading back to the lab and continuing to Nadia's chamber. At the sight of the white pod containing her girlfriend, she had to suppress a slight whimper. Being in this room again, with everything that had happened... it seemed different. It was like seeing the place with new eyes and everything was slightly strange. If the Morrigan came through and Nadia finally woke up... no. Lauren stopped the thought dead. She couldn't think about it right now. Not yet anyway, or it would drive her mad. She concentrated instead on the figure lying under the milky white pod and began talking.

"Hey babe, I just wanted you to know that I'm working really hard. I'm still trying to help you, I promise," she paused and thought of what else to say. She didn't want to think about the possible cure, let alone mention it but her next words surprised her too. "You know if you could meet Bo, you would really like her. She's such a good person. She's so trustworthy. She has this big, huge heart. And she's strong. She's so strong. And she takes care of me. Imagine that. Someone taking care of me for a change."

Lauren remembered this morning and how she had woken up feeling safe and warm in Bo's bed. She missed the succubus' presence beside her but she had relaxed upon hearing her in the shower. For a moment, she considered joining Bo in her bath but in the clear light of morning, her indiscretions finally caught up to her. In the light, she found that she could no longer justify her actions last night as well as she had before. So, instead of walking up to shower with Bo (where she knew she would be welcomed), she feigned sleep again and pretended to only slowly wake up when Bo came up to her.

Bo kissed her forehead gently. The fresh scent of her, and her hair still slightly wet from her shower hit Lauren's face softly and she heard her murmur, "Go back to sleep. I'll be back soon." Lauren listened to her go down the stairs and heard her wake up Kenzi and bustle around the kitchen. At that, she decided to get up too. There was no point in delaying the inevitable. (And then of course, Kenzi had caught her in the bathroom and her only lame response was to ask where the toothpaste was)

As she remembered, Lauren felt her knees give out and she found herself crying once again by Nadia's pod. She wasn't sure why she was crying this time but she knew that something inside her felt broken again and the only cure to the hurt was to cry for now.

So she did, she cried hard holding on to Nadia's pod tightly as if it was her raft in a stormy sea. (Who knows, maybe it was)

xxx

Lachlan kept Lauren very busy the next few days, checking and re-checking reports of fae related violence and deaths. She was in the lab early in the morning and despite the supposed curfew, she usually got into bed near midnight. It was punishment, she knew, and Lauren wouldn't have minded (she was a workaholic anyway) if only her mind could take a rest from the constant worrying over whether or not Bo got her reward from the Morrigan: the "thing" that's supposed to solve her problem.

It was exhausting to have to constantly remind herself not to hope but unable to stop hoping anyway. It drained her dry and even sleeping did not help to regain her energy. It was no longer her respite - her escape - as she was constantly plagued by nightmares.

The nightmares were old memories from before, when she first came to the fae. They were simple wishes and daydreams that she had indulged in - or more accurately, they were her proverbial light at the end of the long, lonely tunnel. Always, they were about the things Lauren would do when Nadia woke up.

Maybe she'd take her out for a chocolate milkshake because she distinctly remembered Nadia moaning about the lack of milkshakes in the Congo. Or maybe they'd take a long walk out, just so Nadia could breathe fresh air after 5 years of the filtered oxygen in the pod. Or maybe they'd cuddle and watch TV. Or maybe even just to see that smile again on her face. The one that she missed so much.

All these dreams from before turned to nightmares now. They tormented her sleep, and wouldn't allow her rational mind to hide from her desires.

But these thoughts of Nadia were nothing compared to thoughts of Bo. Nadia was still a vague possibility in the future; Bo was now, in the present. She felt guilty for leaving the succubus that day, for not explaining (for lying! even by omission), for... using her. She loved Bo but that night, she had been selfish and only cared for her own feelings. Worse still, her guilt about Bo did not kill her hope that the succubus would provide the answer to her problems. What kind of a person did that make her? To use the woman she loved to free the other woman in her life.

She couldn't help but hate herself a little then and if she lost sleep over her thoughts, then she accepted it as due punishment.

xxx

Lauren only got a break a full week after her 'escape' when she had to go for a consult with Dyson at the police station. And it wasn't even a real break because she had to be accompanied by a bodyguard/jailer to ensure that she didn't stray from her 'work'.

Luckily after the brief consult (they had figured out that the wild band of fae strippers were making a Hand of Glory), Dyson allowed her to stay in the investigation room to take some time of her own. (She had noticed that Dyson had become more tolerant of her lately. He was professional and sometimes even kind - whether it was the consequence of the Norn's actions or his new relationship with this Ciara, Lauren could only be thankful for it)

As soon as he was out of the room, she called Bo. She hadn't been able to talk to the succubus for the whole week, not because she didn't want to, but because Lachlan also monitored her calls and emails. It became clear early on that Bo was irritated and Lauren wasn't sure if it was because of the current case they were working on, or because of her. It didn't stop her from trying to get a clear answer for her worries though. "Well, it's a little bit awkward but..."

"No, no. Go ahead." Bo said, her tone short and abrupt.

"Have you had any luck getting the so-called solution to my... predicament?" Lauren asked.

Bo hesitated and softly said, "All I ended up with was a lot of questions." And then her tone became brusque again. "Was there something else that you wanted to tell me?"

"No. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Bo answered. Lauren looked at the phone confusedly as she put it back down. Maybe Bo had found out about Nadia and that's why she had a lot of questions. Either way, Lauren got no answers herself. She sighed heavily and decided to just go home.

Her second break came up quicker this time, only two days after her trip to the police station. This time, she had Trick to thank as he asked her to meet at the Dal for advice. He had concerns over the outbreaks of violence happening between fae groups all over the city for seemingly no reason at all and asked Lauren to check her sources. It meant a bit more work for her but she was glad to do it anyway. (She always felt thrilled and honored that Trick would come to ask for her help regarding the fae - especially if it had nothing to do with medical matters. She felt all her work and studying was validated by his trust in her knowledge.)

She was in the middle of a rambling explanation concerning her days at the lab when she stopped short at the sound of a familiar voice behind her. "...and blocked phone numbers?" Bo asked.

Lauren felt her heart leap at the sight of the succubus but managed to contain her reaction in front of the other people still in the room. "Something like that," she said.

Trick, bless his kingly heart, managed to lure her bodyguard away for a few moments, allowing her and Bo some time to themselves.

Lauren watched Bo go around the table and sit in front of her. She felt nervous and edgy at the presence of the succubus, but also happy at the sight of her.

Bo spoke first. "I owe you an apology."

She reacted almost unthinkingly. "No you don't." Her mind was still struggling at the fact that Bo was here with her and fighting against the cascade of thoughts and feelings Bo's presence triggered. She felt overwhelmed by all the words she wanted to say right now.

"I was angry with you. And it was unfair, but it was only in reaction to you being unfair as well," Bo said slowly.

"Me?" Lauren said thoughtlessly. She bit her lip almost as soon as the word was out. There was no point in playing coy. She knew it was more than likely that the Morrigan had already told Bo about Nadia. But it was also surprising that Bo wasn't that angry with her and was even apologizing.

"The Morrigan gave me that. She says it's the key to saving Nadia. Your girlfriend," Bo continued.

"Oh." she said, lamely.

"Oh?" Bo asked. Lauren could see now how tense the succubus looked. At this moment, when all her secrets were about to be revealed, Bo looked the more fragile of the two of them. It made Lauren's heart ache but she powered through and started her confession. "Actually I'm relieved. It's been killing me, not telling you. But how do you turn to someone that you care about and say, 'Oh by the way, I have a girlfriend and she's lying in a coma'." Her voice cracked at the end but she fought against the lump in her throat.

"She's in a coma? For how long?" Bo asked. She sounded so concerned that Lauren's battle with her tears was almost lost. How could Bo sit there and feel compassion for her? She didn't deserve her, Lauren thought.

"5 years. Because of me," Lauren finally revealed.

"Tell me." Bo said, her tone gentle but firm.

And the whole story spilled out of her, halting at first but gaining conviction as she told Bo of her research grant in the Congo, how she'd persuaded Nadia to come with her and making it seem like a grand adventure. She told Bo how she had discovered the existence of the fae and later, how Nadia had fallen ill and the deal she made with the Ash: complete servitude. Saying the words made Lauren flash back to the past 5 years of her life, how difficult it had been. She thought of how much she had wished for this moment, as she gazed at the innocuous box containing the answer to Nadia's illness.

"Well, this could be the cure for Nadia," Bo said and paused to let Lauren recover a little before continuing, "It would change everything."

"You haven't opened it?" Lauren was surprised at that. She was sure that Bo would've been too curious and peeked into it already.

"I thought we should do that together." Bo replied. Both holding their breaths, they watched as Bo undid the red bow and opened the box to reveal a long, rusty nail.

Bo recovered first to ask, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She lifted the nail and examined it.

Lauren took it from her gently and as she turned it over, she murmured, "I have no idea."

xxx

Lauren came back to the compound alternately giddy and despairing. For a full minute, she only stood in the hallway, not certain what she wanted to do. All through the ride back home, she had felt numb and her thoughts had been stuck on the fact that she finally had her first solid lead on Nadia's illness after 5 years of searching for clues.

Now though, she could feel herself trembling as the shock was replaced with excitement and dread. She felt like drinking at her favorite bar and crying a little; she wanted to go see Nadia, or the Ash and tell him that her days serving him were nearly coming to an end; she wanted to call Bo and see her again. She wanted to do all of it at once and so she found herself standing there unable to do anything.

The guard standing by the door finally let out a loud, obvious cough that startled her from her thoughts. She gave him a confused look, totally forgetting his presence. Lauren moved then, going to her room instead of heading to the lab. She didn't think she could work right now if she didn't make sense of her thoughts first.

She had told Bo her secrets and the succubus had accepted it with good grace and maturity that was uncharacteristic of her. Bo also promised to help her solve this mystery with the nail. As much as she appreciated it, it also confused her and made her nervous. This was Bo, after all. The succubus usually thought with her emotions rather than her brain. Did that mean that Bo didn't care if Lauren got Nadia back? What about her? Them?

Lauren suddenly felt sick with guilt. She felt small and petty to feel disappointed about Bo's supposed lack of feelings for her, when the succubus was only being a good friend and helping her with her previously-secret girlfriend. It was so stupid of her. Lauren shouldn't even think that way anymore because this was it! There was a cure for Nadia now, not just hearsay information but a concrete item that they just needed to figure out. After all this time, all her waiting and hard work and all the years in between - and she was hesitating.

That was the problem, wasn't it? As much as she was thrilled - over the moon in fact! - at finding the possible cure for Nadia, something in her heart rebelled. If Lauren was given to flights of fancy, she would think that that something was her love for Bo; that it had become sentient and knew that Nadia waking up would be the end of its existence. And right now, it was fighting so hard for its "life" and right to exist.

But she wasn't given to flights of fancy. She prided herself on her control and reason. Whatever she felt for Bo (and God, she felt so much for that woman) would have to take a backseat from now on. And this time it would be for real. She had tried before to just be Bo's friend but she hadn't tried hard enough. Maybe at the back of her mind, Lauren figured that she could still be with Bo because she had already given up on Nadia. She had hope for something with Bo (however slim and unrealistic), she knew that.

And it was time to kill that hope.

Lauren needed to concentrate on Nadia now. She needed to go back and find that drive she had, 5 years ago, when all she could think about was Nadia and curing her. She had to be strong because now more than ever, Nadia needed her.

34

The next few days saw a gradual loosening of her chains. Although, she still couldn't go out without an escort/bodyguard, the Ash allowed her the privacy to her emails and phone calls. Once she heard that news, her first call was made to Bo asking her to sneak in to the compound, so she could introduce her to Nadia.

It was strange, making that call and having to convince Bo to come (in a bodybag no less) but something in Lauren had snapped over the past few days. She had allowed herself to be consumed with her research on what a rusty nail could mean regarding Nadia's illness. What little sleep she had was sacrificed for that endeavour and maybe the lack of it had finally driven her over the edge. At any rate, she had decided one day that she needed to "introduce" Bo to Nadia (and vice versa, she supposed).

It hadn't been easy, sneaking Bo in the compound but they were able to do it anyway. But then Bo was balking at the last minute, so Lauren struggled to explain her rationale. "Look, if somebody that I slept with, and care about, told me that they had a girlfriend in a coma, trapped inside a top secret facility, run by a society of uber-humanoids called the Fae... I'd think it was a blow-off. I really need you to meet her."

Bo pursed her lips and finally nodded. "Okay."

Lauren watched nervously as Bo gazed at Nadia's sleeping form. She smiled when Bo complimented Nadia, feeling absurdly proud for her girlfriend. Bo was still being a great friend; she had been mature about it as she had promised, understanding and helpful - even going so far as to thank her for "letting her see Nadia".

When Bo left, Lauren returned to Nadia's chamber and stared at the pod. She felt weirdly deflated.

What she said to Bo earlier, about a blow-off, it was true but it wasn't everything. She just didn't know how to articulate the rest of her feelings. Nadia was her... well, hers. If someone was to say that she lived for Nadia, then they wouldn't be too far off, wouldn't they? She picked this life, endured five years of it (and would have endured more if needed) because of Nadia (and her guilt too, of course. If she hadn't insisted on Congo and this adventure) ... well anyhow, it wasn't just about the guilt. She loved Nadia and the thought of losing her permanently was just not an option. (So really, servitude was a price she had been willing to pay in return for Nadia's life.)

She had once referred to Nadia as her secret heart and it was still true.

That was what she had wanted to show Bo today. Now that her secrets were out, she wanted to go all the way and show Bo that last and most precious part of her. When she schemed to get Bo here, Lauren had felt somewhat excited at the prospect -this act was a surrender, in a way. She had lied to Bo in the past (lies of omission yes, but no less severe) and she knew that she'd hurt the succubus badly each time.

Bringing her here to see Nadia, she wanted... to atone for her mistakes and offer herself up in return. (Be the vulnerable one this time.)

At least, those were her feelings before. But now that Bo's left again (and who knew when she would be able to see the succubus again?), Lauren only felt sharp disappointment mocking her. She left the chamber and headed back to the lab, knowing that she couldn't stay there with Nadia, feeling like that. Why was she so disappointed anyway? Did she want Bo to react otherwise?

Lauren had spent the last few days concentrating on Nadia and her illness that she had actually managed to put Bo out of her mind for a while. But seeing her again, being in her presence was a blow to her senses. It woke the rebelling thing inside her chest until it was pounding furiously, hurting her from inside out. Maybe she wanted Bo to be less than gracious. Maybe she wanted to provoke the succubus, to make her angry at Lauren for deceiving her and keeping Nadia a secret all this time. Maybe she hadn't wanted understanding at all and wanted to be pushed away because God, she couldn't seem to do it herself.

It hurt so much, Lauren thought, stifling a sob and hurrying to hide herself in the bathroom. She stumbled in and hugged herself tightly, breathing fast to keep the tears at bay.

It shouldn't hurt so much. She had envisioned this moment so many times before and she had always seen herself as happy and ecstatic as she "discovered" Nadia's cure. She shouldn't be hesitating. She shouldn't want another woman at all.

xxx

A couple of days later, Lauren was surprised and curious when she learned that Dyson was escorting her out for "police business" (although she was asked to dress nicely) only to find herself at the Dal. At her bewildered face, Mr. Stoic Wolf only nudged her towards Trick's quarters and said, "Bo's waiting for you."

She was pleasantly surprised to find that Bo had requested her for back up but she was fairly sure that the succubus had other plans. She found out what the real agenda was, when Bo explained while they were preparing. She paused in applying her lipstick and listened carefully.

"I think you should talk to this Lich fellow. He's been everywhere, met everyone and learned everything. And I thought he could tell us what the deal is with this little guy. And we can get Nadia back to you." Bo said, lifting up the nail and looking earnest and innocent. It made Lauren's heart flutter as she finally realized what the succubus was offering. A moment later, the tiny flutters turned to outright thumping as Bo reached out to wipe at the corner of her lips. "Here. All pretty," she whispered.

Lauren gently caught her hand and said, "You know, things have been bleak for me these past few years. And I don't know what I would do without... your friendship." She became more nervous when she realized that she had almost slipped there, about to say something that they weren't ready to hear just yet.

Bo smiled, looking pleased.

Lauren continued as her constant worries rose up again. "You sure you okay with this? Helping me with Nadia?" she asked. Bo pulled away and her only response was to offer a tissue to Lauren ordering her to blot her lips.

She could see the turmoil in the succubus, she wasn't blind, but Bo didn't say anything else and it frustrated her once again.

Lauren didn't know why she's still asking when Bo was already proving that she could be mature for both of them. It was like an itchy scab that she couldn't help but constantly pick until the wound re-opened and bled again. She felt deeply dissatisfied with herself and her contradictory wants.

Now, more than ever, she keenly felt the lack of control. These days felt like a weird nightmare where she's on a car and it's heading straight for a cliff. When she looked at the driver, she could see herself behind the wheel and no matter what she said or did, she couldn't stop herself from this course.

Lauren could have Nadia back and she needed to have her back, but she'd lose Bo. Bo was helping her get Nadia back. Lauren wanted them both. There was no way to get what she wanted.

xxx

The Lich looked terrible, health wise. He was pasty grey and his skin looked like it was molting, with small infected patches. He smelled like mold and rot. But he proved to be a gracious host, treating her and Bo with the finest manners. Unlike other fae, he didn't snub her just because she was human. It was somewhat refreshing.

Of course, he became frustrating later on when they tried asking him about the nail. He had been surprised to know that Lauren was the human doctor that had discovered the cure for the blood fever and gave her a backhanded compliment (he actually complimented the old Ash for nabbing her talents, not her per se). When he saw the nail, Lauren could see that he recognized what it was but he clamped down quickly. Bo's powers were no help at all and she felt infuriated and depressed that they had gotten nowhere.

Later still, what was merely frustrating became outright menacing as the Lich showed his true colours. He wanted to see a succubus feed and chained them by their necks on the stage, as though it was a performance. Lauren could only watch, anxious but not yet afraid as he threatened them. That quickly changed to outright terror when the cowgirl from the entourage shot Bo right in the stomach.

She felt a strange gratitude that their chains allowed her to reach Bo as the succubus fell hurt and panting on the floor, but she also knew utter helplessness and despair when she realized that there was nothing she could do for the wound. Even as she panicked and tried to persuade Bo to feed from her, she knew that the other woman wouldn't. Something in Lauren shut down at that and in the back of her mind, she found slight amusement that she was the one going into shock when Bo was the one that got shot.

And then the Lich had said something about being hungry and Lauren felt hands dragging her away from Bo. She protested weakly, feeling numb and confused. Bo couldn't die. She just couldn't.

Lauren realized that this was the first time she'd seen the succubus truly hurt. She knew of Bo's injuries before and that she was able to heal them (oh how she'd healed them!) but Lauren had never really seen her this hurt. The kind of hurt that could kill her now, not later (Not like with the Mare and the Djieiene). And Lauren couldn't even help (wasn't allowed to help).

No, no. Bo was too strong and special. She had to survive this. Lauren hadn't even told Bo yet that she loved her, her mind offered. But before that thought could fully register, another voice in her mind spoke up. What does it matter? You can't have her anyway, you have Nadia.

The thought stopped her short and when they laid her on the table, she ceased her faint struggling. In that moment, when she felt the Lich's sharp blade touch her throat, Lauren just gave up. She closed her eyes and for a second, she let go of all her fears and her worries and gladly accepted death as an escape. There would be no more need to choose, no more need to be torn in two all the time making it so hard to breathe.

Her eyes flew open in surprise when she heard the gasping and saw Bo, looking fierce and otherworldly. The succubus had managed to stand up and seemed to be glowing as she spread her hands wide and sucked everyone's chi out except for hers. Lauren continued to watch incredulously as everyone fell to the floor like puppets that had their strings cut. Amazed and slightly frightened, she listened to Bo declare in her terrible double voice, "I could be more powerful than all of the fae! Everyone would kneel at my feet. There would be no more Dark and no more Light, there would be. Only. Me!" Giving one last grunt of effort, she tore the metal collar at her neck and finally collapsed.

Lauren hurried to the succubus' side and woke her up. Bo returned to her normal state and seemed confused as to what had just happened. When Lauren explained, Bo went immediately to the male dancer and reversed the chi flow, giving him life and energy back. She would have done the same for the others in the Lich's entourage except they wouldn't let her.

The day's surprises didn't end there because once they found the fallen Lich, crawling to the nearest piece of raw liver, Bo proceeded to get the answer he had denied them earlier.

Weak and panting, the Lich explained. "Lauren's girlfriend isn't sick. She's been cursed. That nail is an African shaman's cursing nail. Somewhere there is a piece of wood with Nadia's nail in it. Remove it and she will most likely wake up." And then he proceeded to beg for food but Lauren didn't even flinch when Bo kick the meat out of his reach and they watched him die.

xxx

For the second time that week, Bo sneaked into the compound via bodybag. This time it was her idea to come, obviously detecting the mingled confusion and frustration in Lauren's voice when they talked on the phone earlier.

This time, while her heart still leapt at the sight of Bo, she was distracted and mostly irritated by the new information they've gotten. Lauren didn't even reply to Bo's joking greeting of "You really need to figure out a better way to get me in here."

She was looking at Nadia's pod angrily and said, "You know I've spent years looking for a cure to a disease she doesn't even have? Who would curse Nadia? I mean, why would anybody...?"she cut her tirade short, reigning her temper in. This was not the time for that. She needed to re-do 5 years of research and instead of diseases, look at shamanism and curses. 5 years of wasted effort and for what? Lauren felt anger rise again and she took another deep breath to calm down.

Bo had moved closer to her and she couldn't help but inhale the succubus' particular scent. She was saying something about blessing in disguise but Lauren had gotten distracted. The effect of Bo's scent and her presence had mingled with the guilt and anger roiling inside her and in a burst of recklessness, she grabbed the succubus' face and kissed her fiercely.

Bo was surprised at first but then she began to kiss her back. It was only when Lauren surfaced for air did she realize what she'd done. And near Nadia's pod, no less. They looked at each other awkwardly for a moment and then Lauren made some excuses and Bo went back to the bodybag eagerly to escape the tension filled atmosphere.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hey to those that came this far. First of all, thanks for reading my story. It's been great to be part of the Lost Girl community here in FF .net. :D Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm going to slow down drastically with the updates. As you know, I've been following the show's story line pretty closely and haven't really created anything new (except for the backstory). This has made it harder for me to find an appropriate ending for this fic so I decided that I'll just tie it up with the end of season 2._

_This chapter already tackles episodes 7 & 8 (Fae gone Wild and Death didn't become Him) so I'm going slow on the remaining while I wait for the last 5 episodes to air. Cheers! :)_

_-rabastan04_


	25. The things we hide

35

Lauren was still shaking slightly from the aftershocks. She was supposed to be sleeping already, her exhausted body all but screaming for it, but her hyperactive mind refused the rest so Lauren allowed her thoughts to dwell on her earlier 'adventure'.

Her biggest plan for the day was only supposed to be a quick trip to the Dal to pump Trick for more information on the shaman that cursed Nadia. She could only smile now when she remembered how anxious she had been to stretch the truth and get Lachlan's permission for the outing by citing "official" business. If she had known of the dangers she would encounter, she probably would have been more nervous and she would not have left the lab at all.

But she did and the first thing she saw at her arrival was a strangely (but still appealingly) attired Bo. Her mouth had run off on its own again ("I can't believe how good you look.") and after the awkwardness, she had cowardly escaped from Bo's attempts to discuss their previous, ill-timed (and ill-situated) kiss.

So really, she probably deserved the body possession that happened shortly after. Maybe that crazy Dark fae sensed a kin in her cowardly self and deliberately chose her to play with.

Lauren sighed at that and struggled to find to find another comfortable position to lie in. Her body was still sore and weak after being hit with the lightning bolt (and wasn't that just something else? Even with all the strange things she faced every day with the fae, she never, in a million years, imagined that she would get hit by the stupid defence system protecting the Ash.) but something else inside her felt wounded. Her "self"? Soul self? Her spirit? Whatever it was that escaped their physical bodies and shifted, Lauren felt that it was damaged too.

She told Bo that she had been in limbo all that time talking to a dead aunt about old family recipes but it wasn't the whole truth. There had been no aunt to talk to, just an empty, grey Dal where her voice echoed at the nothingness. She made up that story about Aunt Edna and her cheesecake recipe to reassure Bo while she struggled to mask her real feelings.

Lauren thought she did well because the succubus hadn't noticed anything unusual and Hale hadn't been suspicious when he drove her home. It was only when she was back in her rooms that Lauren allowed herself to truly let go of her composure.

It was a shock to come back to her body but more than that, it appalled her to realize that she remembered everything that psychotic Raynard had done while he was in her. A small part of her brain was already forming theories about it (most probably, it was caused by the electric shock she'd received, acting as a sort of conduit that imprinted Raynard's memories to her physical brain.) but the largest part was still stuck in disgusted disbelief of "her" (their?) earlier actions: Lauren had tried to kill Lachlan. No, Lauren reminded herself, Raynard tried to kill Lachlan in an attempt to cause chaos between the Light and Dark clans. But she couldn't deny that Raynard had found the idea inside her, fueled by the volatile emotions she had been suppressing for years. Lauren herself was surprised by the violent rage inside her, never realizing that she harbored feelings of that magnitude.

For a brief moment after she had safely come back to her body, there was an odd sensation of duality in her as though she was both Lauren and Raynard at the same time. It was only years of stoicism and demanding professionalism that kept her from breaking down in the middle of the Dal.

Much later, when Lauren was back safely in her home, she had been able to separate and isolate the 'foreign' memories. For a crazy being, Raynard had been too wily. He had been disoriented like the rest when they started switching bodies but he had swiftly adapted and was able to impersonate Dyson well enough to fool the others for a while.

He had watched with delight as they began to turn against each other (and Lauren noted the extreme pleasure Raynard had taken at being able to provoke that "redneck " bounty hunter Woods) and thus escaped unnoticed. Lauren felt sick when she got to his memories of being in the lab, of him touching her stuff and looking at Nadia's body on the monitor with the sick pleasure of finding a new and promising toy to play with.

And then there was her rage which he absolutely adored. It was unlike anything Lauren felt before, (and maybe it was with good reason that she had suppressed it in the first place because look what at what it had almost caused) but there was no hiding from it now that Raynard had dragged it out. It was all her swirling confused emotions that could not be expressed in her current status with the fae, buried deeper and deeper inside her until she forgot about them.

Well, maybe not completely forgotten. Raynard had noticed it immediately because, Lauren now realized, she had been so frustrated these past few days, angry at her helplessness and inability to solve the problem of the curse. She was so wound up and stressed and that crazy fae had found her the ideal vessel for the chaos he planned to unleash. Lauren had been so angry at many things even if she never acknowledged it. She had been furious with the Ash and herself the most, but she had also felt anger towards Bo and Nadia, the two people whose presence in her life right now was threatening to tear her apart.

Raynard had played with that rage, delighted in it like a puppy finding a muddy puddle to roll in. Lauren had closed her eyes when she remembered the sensation of letting go and letting pure emotion guide her actions. She had shuddered in mingled shame and relief because while she regretted her actions (Raynard's actions), she knew deep inside that part of her had really wanted to plunge that poison into Lachlan's neck. It was her emotions that asked for that action and in a sense, Raynard was the tool - the path that bridged it into reality.

Lauren clutched at a pillow tightly as she recalled those memories, now feeling scared and uncertain. All of a sudden, she felt like a stranger to herself. She knew that she had been changing over the years but she also believed that she had been self-aware to note the changes in her. This 'development' caught her by surprise and shaken her already wobbly world.

Lauren sighed loudly and forced herself to push the dark thoughts away, trying to get some sleep. The only good thing that came out of this was that that Lachlan hadn't tried to blame her (or punish her) for what had almost transpired. (He was, however, going to take out his frustration on his supposedly "elite" guard that was taken out by a mere slip of a human doctor - albeit possessed by a crazy fae at the time.)

36

One other good thing that came out of that whole body switching thing was that "the awkward kiss beside coma-girlfriend's pod" was no longer an active issue. By silent agreement, Bo and Lauren had decided to put it on the back burner for now as they dealt with their immediate lives. (Which just meant getting back to solving cases for Bo and more studying and dissecting for Lauren.)

Strangely enough, Lachlan must have decided that he trusted Lauren _more_ (despite or because of the previous events, she was not sure which) because he had further loosened his grip on her leash. During the day, she was now allowed to go on house visits without needing prior permission from him first but she still had a curfew and was required back at the compound before nightfall. (Lauren suspected that this was less of a restraint on her freedom and more of an attempt to force her to finish the seemingly never-ending pile of work she was acquiring these days.)

Still, the new arrangement was lucky for Oscar the Ogre because when he called for help, Lauren no longer had pesky bodyguards to tattle about what she was omitting in her formal reports. In his case, it was getting badly beaten up for joining an illegal fae fighting club.

When Lauren had gotten to the abandoned warehouse, she had worried immediately at the amount of damage she saw on the ogre. It was too severe, even for a fighting club, especially considering his species' well-known toughness. When she made noises about reporting it to the Ash, Oscar had panicked immediately and begged for her silence. Hearing him plead had actually torn at Lauren's heart. She had known Oscar for a while now, what with him working mainly as a compound guard. She had even met his family once (his brood, as he affectionately called them) and she understood that he fought mainly to supplement his normal wages and provide for them.

It wasn't a hard choice to keep this report from the Ash but Lauren hesitated over calling Bo. In the end, she knew that only the succubus would be able to help in this unique situation.

xxx

Lauren should have known better though. When she called Bo to investigate the super powered human that managed to beat an ogre, she should have expected an outcome like this to occur: a fiercely snarling, heavily beaten up succubus who was barely able to walk without Dyson's supporting arm.

Lauren hated to see Bo hurt in any way, (especially since that time with the Lich and Bo almost died in front of her) so she should be excused that her bedside manner was less than "professional". She had been waiting tensely in Dyson's apartment after getting a call from the curt wolf about needing her medical expertise and seeing Bo's battered self had only served to increase her anxiety. Her exasperated exclamation of "Bo, why haven't you healed yet!" was unlike her usual collected manner but it was

genuine and indicative of her honest feelings.

It did however, only managed to spark a surly response from an already prickly, hurt succubus. "Because I'm not in the mood!" Bo snarled back, wincing heavily as Dyson tried to gently deposit her on his bed.

"Since when is mood a factor? Bo, you have a biological imperative...!" Lauren argued, getting cotton swabs and antibacterial ointments ready before joining Bo on the bed.

"Oh screw my biology!" Bo interrupted angrily, "I am so tired of my life being dictated by something I didn't choose. I am done being fae!"

Lauren was surprised to hear the vehement vow, but from what she had heard lately (from Dyson no less), it was an understandable reaction to what the succubus was going through recently. Although these days Bo had more or less accepted her fae-ness, Lauren knew that Bo had been hurt deeply before by her very nature and she had never really been able to fully reconcile with it.

Dyson came nearer to pass an ice pack for Bo's rapidly swelling face. He lingered as if to help but Lauren almost absent mindedly dismissed him. Fortunately, he didn't seem to mind and only warned her about her curfew before leaving them alone.

Lauren dabbed gently at the bloody gashes that marred Bo's face and tried to draw the reason for the succubus' attitude. "I heard about your encounter with your past," Lauren began softly.

"Oh great! Does everyone know now?" Bo threw her hands away in exasperation.

"No," Lauren countered immediately. "Just the people who care about you."

Bo hesitated at that and in a halting tone, began to explain. "It is just not my past. It's my present," she paused and took a deep breath, her voice starting to shake. "For a long time, I'd forgotten what I am to humans: a monster."

"Bo, you're not a monster. I know that. And whatever happened back then, it wasn't your fault." It twisted something painfully inside Lauren to hear Bo talk like this and see her so beaten. Bo had always been so strong. Even when she got hurt, she would only fight back and not give up like what she was doing now.

"I killed a boy," Bo stated baldly and continued in a teary voice, "And then what? Then I ran, I ran away. I didn't take responsibility for what I did. And his poor family, I never gave them closure!"

Lauren couldn't take it anymore. She had suspected that Bo had big issues with her past (because no one runs for ten years without a reason) but Bo's hurt was so deep and it was tearing her up just to see it. She said the first words that came to mind, without thinking.

"You are a different person then you were then! And the person you are now I absolutely love!" Lauren bit out and then realized what she'd said. "I didn't mean," she tried to backtrack but sighed instead. "Oh, I don't know what I mean."

It was true anyway, she couldn't deny it. It was inappropriate with the whole Nadia issue but it was still the truth. The selfish part of her didn't want to take it back. She wanted her feelings for Bo to be acknowledged before she was forced to give them up when Nadia awakened.

At any rate, Bo only sighed heavily and said, "Forget it. I know you're all mixed up over Nadia."

Lauren felt a bit sheepish at that. When did this become about her? "I don't even know what I'm feeling these days," she admitted.

"How's that going?" Bo asked. She looked genuinely curious though, not just asking politely and Lauren felt grateful that Bo wasn't too annoyed with her bringing up their issues now.

"Mm… thank you for the nail. I'm looking into it," Lauren assured Bo with a slight smile. But it disappeared when she continued, "And the thought of waking Nadia up is… " she faltered, unable to explain the complexity of the emotions clamoring inside her. Lauren changed tactics instead and gently cupped Bo's bruised cheeks, murmuring, "But, Bo, the thought of losing you..."

Bo shrugged a little and said, "It hurts." Lauren smiled at that, feeling slightly giddy that Bo acknowledged her feelings. She was glad that Bo understood her worth to Lauren but before she could say anything else, Bo flinched and spoke again, "No, I mean the spot you're on it hurts, it really hurts," she glanced sideways at the hand on her face.

Lauren hastily retracted her hand in embarrassment but she still felt glad that Bo was joking now. And her eyes didn't look tortured anymore. The only thing left to do was to tend to the visible wounds and Lauren was good at that. She could patch Bo up and take care of her.

They had issues, yes, but they would deal with them later and (she hoped) it wouldn't interfere with the trust they still had in each other.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey guys, I'm back. Finally. Sorry it took so long but I've just figured out how I wanted to end this story and I'm warning you now that I will be diverging from canon soon. I know the whole "appeal" of this kind of story is that it only shows the "behind-the-scenes" stuff while faithfully following canon storyline but I do want a proper conclusion (I don't want to drag it out till season 3 and beyond) and a proper Doccubus ending (which I suspect we won't see for a long time yet in the show, or if ever. The show writers seems determined to just tease us mercilessly about it.) :D.


	26. Lie to me

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks so much for the warm welcome. I was so surprised and flattered by the lovely comments and I hope I will be able to meet expectations. (Fortunately, my beta is awesome and I trust that she'll catch my OOC moments. :D) Anyway, here's the chapter for the Can't See the Fae-Rest and Masks episode. Enjoy! :) (I'm veering slowly off canon now and I'm slightly nervous, but please bear with me.)

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><p>37<p>

Lauren's brief reprieve with Bo was just that: brief. Once again she was back in the labs, working up to 16-hour days. Perhaps only four of those hectic hours would be dedicated to research about the curse and the rest would be taken up by the overflowing investigative reports that she needed to complete for the Ash. (Who was currently asking for a more comprehensive report on a preliminary autopsy she'd done to a Peri weeks ago. Apparently, he was no longer satisfied with the initial report and was blaming her for its shortcomings. It was all she could do not to answer him back about wasting her time.)

It was enough to frustrate anyone but for someone like Lauren, who had been waiting so patiently these past five years for answers that were almost in her reach, it was almost devastating.

The recent body possession hadn't helped any because emotions she had long buried were brought to the surface, snapping at her control. She felt too sensitive, like at any moment she could burst and there would be nothing left of her but desperate need and hopelessness. Lauren could no longer find solace in her work, finding it a burden instead, as it kept her away from the research she wanted to do.

She had already gone through most of the books about African shamans and curses that were available to her from the Fae library and Trick's own collection but she hadn't found the solution to Nadia's coma yet. Lauren had been in the middle of research when it struck her with a certainty that none of the remaining books she had would yield the right answers. For a moment, she just sat there in despair.

But then she remembered that she hadn't checked everything yet. For a long time now, Lauren had gotten used to having unfettered access to the Light Fae library and was even encouraged to seek more knowledge. It was part of the former Ash's bargain with her: to have access to all knowledge and resource in his disposal. It was a grand gesture and one she had been grateful for. However, even that promise had its limitations. Lauren had respected that, knowing that it was a reasonable restriction.

Usually though, she only had to ask for permission and the former Ash would still grant her access or at least, look up any information for her.

Lauren sat up straighter at that thought. She barely resisted the urge to bang her face on the book she was reading. How could she have forgotten about those resources? It must have been the stress, Lauren rationalized. She wasn't able to properly concentrate for days now, what with the constant worry (for everything!) dogging her heels. She was only getting by at work automatically, her body going through familiar motions with minimal thought.

With new options to consider, Lauren felt her determination firm once again. She resolved to ask Lachlan about it the next time she met with him.

xxx

"...And based on the evidence you provided, we have at least three Peri deaths... by electrocution," Lauren finished her report and waited.

"It doesn't make sense," Lachlan commented confusedly. He was perusing the report she'd given, as though a second look would change the stated results.

"I agree. And I have a theory," Lauren offered, her voice growing a bit bolder as her heart started to pump faster in anticipation of her plans.

"Oh yes?" Lachlan turned his full attention to her then and seemed intrigued with her tone.

"But I need your help first. With this." At that, Lauren took the nail from her lab coat pocket (she always carried it with her now and had become some sort of talisman.) and passed it to him.

Lachlan readily looked it over. "Cursing nail. African," he determined quickly. Lauren felt a pang at that. He had known so easily what it was. They had not needed to risk their lives tangling with the Lich for answers.

She quickly shook off her regrets over that matter and explained. "I have reason to believe it is related to Nadia's state," she paused and added pleadingly, "I have to get her out of that coma."

"You think she's cursed," he said flatly.

"It fits," Lauren agreed. She took one deep breath and said, "I have done everything that you've ever asked of me. I think I have earned the right to ask one thing of you... surely there's something that you could..."

"I wasn't the Ash when she was cursed, if indeed she is. I can't help you," Lachlan frowned and cut her off immediately.

"But you're the Ash now and you have all the power of the Ash. Just grant me top level clearance for research and documents. The old Ash kept journals religiously..." Lauren almost babbled as she tried to hastily explain what she needed from him.

"No." There was no explanation, just a blanket refusal. Lauren almost stepped back from the sudden wall that appeared before her. She blinked, trying to make sense of it, trying to see Lachlan's reason but all she could hear was his resounding no, echoing inside her.

The overwhelming emotions that she had been trying to suppress for days, surged forth in a fury. It left her trembling in its wake, like a desperate junky without a fix.

"I cannot go on like this." Lauren shocked herself with her own words but the moment they left her mouth, she knew they were honest. (Maybe they were an unconscious plea for help too?)

"You can and you will. Come back when you've composed yourself," Lachlan ordered before turning his back away to dismiss her. There wasn't even a flicker of pity in those cold, brown eyes.

"No," Lauren argued. She grabbed her necklace and pulled it viciously, breaking the clasp. There was a sting of pain as it caught skin but it was disregarded at the rush of exhilaration she felt when she threw the necklace at her master's feet. "Because nothing is worth this life and I will not be your servant anymore. I will take Nadia and we will leave," she declared and felt completely fine with the snap decision. Lauren wouldn't normally decide something of this magnitude (the fae were her family now and she felt comfortable in this world, ward-status notwithstanding) but she had reached her breaking point.

Yet Lachlan only had a smirk for her and she knew why with his next words, "And how on Earth will you manage that?"

She shook her head as renewed despair crashed over her, pushing away her newfound confidence. Lauren began to beg "No please, please, please, please Ash, I beg of you, please, please Ash, please..." even when strong hands began to lead her away.

xxx

When they stuck her in a dungeon cell, Lauren had waited tensely for someone to come and take her to be whipped again. It took a few hours before she realized that no one was coming and that imprisonment was her ultimate punishment. She looked around her "new" room then and acknowledged that it was already miles better than her old cell if only because it was well-lit.

After checking to make sure that she was really locked in, Lauren only turned to lie down on the bed and promptly fell asleep.

She wasn't sure how long she slept but when she woke up someone had already seen fit to pass her a food tray that was left untouched. Lauren hated to admit it but it was probably the best sleep she'd gotten in weeks. While she was still angry and sad at how she was treated, some parts of her were relieved by this forced "time-out". It was a chance to re-group and relax without feeling guilty about it. Since it was clearly not her "choice" to stop and take a break, then she shouldn't be blamed for it either. For this moment, the heavy weight of responsibility was no longer on her shoulders but on Lachlan's and she could breathe easier.

Lauren "enjoyed" this unintended break for a whole day (in her estimate) before the anxiety rose up once again and she began to get antsy at the confinement. She became slightly paranoid over what Lachlan may be doing to Nadia. (She replayed the way Lachlan had said that he wasn't the Ash when Nadia was cursed and that he couldn't help her. Did that mean the bargain she'd struck with the former Ash was no longer valid? Fortunately, Lauren wasn't entirely convinced of this "fear". After all, Lachlan hadn't just thrown Nadia out when she ran away to Bo's and for the most part, he still treated her skills with the respect afforded to her position as Chief Medical officer.) When Lachlan came to visit her the one time, she couldn't help but beg once more even though she already knew it wouldn't do any good.

The panicked feeling hadn't lasted for long, though.

As Lauren was left to stew on her own, the worries that plagued her gave way to her own rational thinking. The break had allowed her brain the rest it badly needed and now it worked furiously to make sense of things.

Lachlan's actions especially baffled her. (Not the imprisoning-her part, she understood that. She had challenged him directly and he wasn't about to let that go. In fact, she still wasn't sure that this was her whole punishment; part of her was waiting for the other shoe to drop.) While he was not bound to cater to her needs, his point-blank refusal felt too extreme. What she had asked for was not unreasonable: she hadn't refused to do her duties, just requested for some assistance in a personal project. Even if he wasn't inclined to indulge her there and then, he could have just put it off. He didn't even have to promise anything because Lauren was clearly desperate and would only appreciate any reassurance from him. It would have been good for her flagging morale and help with her productivity, why hadn't he seen that? (Or did he see it but chosen to ignore it? He was too cunning to have missed that.)

Lauren began to suspect then that Lachlan was purposely provoking her. Which did not make any sense but why else would he act this way? Her mind began to review previous interactions with the Ash and she suddenly remembered that scene in her rooms; how he'd made her bow to him to goad Bo and her later conclusions as to why.

He was using her! Maybe it wasn't about Bo as she had originally thought but still, somehow, Lauren had become a plaything in Lachlan's eyes. He was deliberately running her ragged, keeping her from doing what she really wanted to do. He must've been so amused at her and at that last thought, Lauren felt a sudden shift in her emotions.

She sensed the swirling, conflicted feelings inside her coalesce into a ball of anger that grew bigger as time passed by. It was different, not like the anger that Raynard had unburied. This was colder and almost serene. There was no overwhelming passionate desire to get revenge, only a careful patience of a hunter that knew when to strike. Lauren let it encompass her whole being, finding comfort in the hardness slowly encasing her inside out.

38

Four days later, Lauren was set free and taken to the Ash's office. She felt a small thrill from the tentative freedom of being away from the small cell but she did not let it get past her apathetic mask. Last time, she had presented a pitiful picture to the guards as she begged shamelessly at her master's back. This time she was determined to appear stronger and uncaring; this time she would have control.

And to do that, Lauren couldn't let the Ash get the first word in. When she was brought in front of him, she started immediately.

"So what's next on the agenda? Torture?" she asked sarcastically, maintaining a careless and derisive tone.

Lachlan didn't take the bite and only said, "I was hoping you'd be ready to go back to work."

Lauren chuckled bitterly at that. She could feel her mask cracking a bit as the cold anger in her began to gave way to more fiery emotions.

"You lock me in the dungeon for four days. I'm supposed to be grateful to be let out that I just head back to the lab as though nothing happened?" she taunted Lachlan, wanting to crack _his_ mask of affability.

Lauren knew she succeeded when she heard him say, "You've forgotten your place here," in a flat tone.

But his words also hit a sensitive nerve in her. She wanted to protest that statement because she had anything but forgotten her place with the fae. No. Even if she had wanted to forget, the fae wouldn't allow her to, either. She had carved her own place here with literal blood, sweat and tears and it was Lachlan who had driven her to this state.

Lauren only shook her head and said, "I just refuse to play anymore." She wondered briefly if he understood the layers of conversation they were having now; if he sensed the hidden history of her words and actions. But then she continued, "I'm gonna pack my things and take my chances with the Morrigan because she seems to know a hell of a lot more about Nadia's condition than you do."

It was a deliberate challenge, one that Lauren had especially tailored for this encounter. She had remembered the Morrigan's simple invitation after the bombing incident and used it now to provoke Lachlan as he had done to her.

And it worked effectively. He lost the cheerful air he was maintaining and his voice was irritated and threatening when he said, "I can assure you that if you so much as try to make any contact with the Morrigan, punishment will be swift and severe."

Lauren didn't flinch. "As severe as five years of indentured servitude?" she asked. It was a half-lie because even though her tone suggested only bitterness over the years spent with the fae, she did not (could not) completely regret them either.

In a quick turnabout, Lachlan tried to bring back his charming facade and adopted a cajoling tone. When it was clear that Lauren wouldn't yield to his tricks, he changed tactics again and adopted a more serious air as he decided to get to the point.

"I called you up here because I have some information about Nadia," Lachlan said. Lauren couldn't help but react slightly at that, her heart beating faster. "I read the journals of the former Ash," Lachlan confessed, "I discovered that he had known about the curse but decided not to share the information with you."

Lauren felt like all the breath was gone from her body. "What? Why?"

Lachlan looked slightly sympathetic and Lauren could hardly bear to look at him. "It's obvious really. He saw your potential when you managed to find a cure for the blood fever. He didn't have leverage to keep you with him but Nadia's sudden illness worked perfectly in his favor. When he found out about the curse, he kept it from you so he wouldn't lose your talents."

"It was a lie? I worked night and day for the Ash!" Lauren felt bewildered, her brain seemed stuck and couldn't process anything beyond the fact that the Ash had known, and had willfully decided not to inform Lauren. "But he promised! He was under oath!"

Lachlan shrugged. "From what I read, he found a loophole in the agreement. If you had asked him directly about it, he would have been forced to tell you. But since he had already offered resources, it seemed you never thought to ask him about it." He sighed and tried to look understanding. "I don't condone what he did but you're just going to have to put that all behind you now," he said.

Lauren was thinking furiously and realized that Lachlan was right. She had asked many fae about Nadia but she hadn't thought to ask the Ash. Why hadn't she? If she had then all of this... But then Lachlan's words finally reached her. "Oh and what? Continue working here? I'd rather burn the place to the ground," she stated calmly. At that moment, she would have done it without hesitating.

Lachlan saw the conviction in her eyes and instead of threatening her again, he appealed to her logic. "That wouldn't bring you any closer to Nadia's recovery now, would it? Besides I believe I've located the shaman who placed the curse on Nadia. He's in a village in the Congo," he said.

Lauren's focus changed. "I can go there, I can talk to him..." she offered earnestly.

But Lachlan had to refuse her. The shaman was Dark fae and they both knew that clan politics could not be ignored. Instead he offered, "Lauren, I would do anything in my power to help Nadia but for now, I'd appreciate it if you just clean yourself up and go back to work."

She didn't acknowledge his promise and only turned to leave.

xxx

Lauren had left at the Ash's bidding but it didn't mean she would blindly follow his orders either. After taking a quick shower, she went back to the lab to snag some paperwork and headed straight to Nadia's chamber. At least this way, she could pretend to be doing work but really, she needed time to think. To process everything that she had learned today and figure out how that would affect her and Nadia.

A multitude of thoughts were threatening to crash her brain. She needed to be logical about it but a few doubts began to creep in: what if she had just asked the Ash about it? They could have left long ago. When had he learned about the curse, anyway? And what if Lachlan was lying now? How could she trust him - or any fae for that matter - after the old Ash had betrayed her? She hadn't known anything at all! She had been so clueless and helpless.

With a force of will, Lauren pushed the doubts away and tried to concentrate on the important matters. She couldn't do anything to change the past but she could still find some answers. First, there was still the matter of Nadia getting cursed at all. Why her? According to the texts she'd read, curses were mainly used as punishment for evildoers. However, the term "evildoers" itself was broadly and arbitrarily interpreted by the shamans and that was why they were regarded with caution. (There were some anecdotes of people managing to piss off a shaman and ended up getting cursed.)

So, on that premise, Nadia was either evil or had managed to get tangled up with the wrong sort of people.

Her eyes wandered to the familiar pod and felt her lips turn up in a pained, rueful smile. "Hey babe. Sorry I haven't been here to see you in the past few days, it's just been kind of busy and... " she let out a sad chuckle, "Why am I lying to you? Truth is... the Ash held me prisoner. Again. But I guess we've both been prisoners for the past five years huh? But maybe that's all gonna change soon. I don't wanna get my hopes up but there could be a light at the end of the tunnel. And maybe someday real soon you're gonna wake up from your long sleep. And maybe I'll get to hold you again."

Lauren barely held her tears in check. In all the stressful chaos that was her life right now, she had been so preoccupied in finding a solution and trying not to hope that she had forgotten why she was doing this in the first place. She had been so frantic, running herself to the ground, that she hadn't allowed herself to imagine what would happen if she succeeded. (Because she was scared and excited and she had hoped so many times before that Nadia would wake up but she never did and it would kill her now if she failed again.)

xxx

She was still pacing by Nadia's pod, a couple of hours later, when the monitors started beeping. Alarmed, Lauren tried to figure out what was happening but before she could even think of a hypothesis, the life support tubes connected to the pod had fallen away to the floor. She felt her heart climb into her throat in panic and then there was a bright flash of light. The pod dome had disappeared and there she was: Nadia, blinking awake.

Lauren couldn't help but raise her hands to her mouth in awed surprise.

"Lauren?"

That voice. She had dreamed of hearing it for five years and now...

"Nadia?" Lauren asked in disbelief.

And then the prone woman on the table sat up and smiled at her in wonder.


	27. Bo's Lonely Birthday Party

Note: This is still in keeping with the Masks episode. After this chapter, I won't be relying so much on the show's episode timeline (since Lauren wasn't really present from Barometz ep to Table for Fae ep). Anyway, enjoy this one!

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><p>39<p>

There was no other way to put it: Lauren literally lunged at Nadia and captured her mouth in an all-consuming kiss. She didn't even notice when another figure stopped and stared from the open door. Or when that person left looking broken-hearted.

When they finally parted for breath some time later, Nadia was grinning wildly at her. "What was that for?" But she noticed the tear tracks on Lauren's face and her smile dropped. "Lauren? What's wrong?"

Lauren laughed and sobbed and clumsily tried to wipe at her face but Nadia caught her hands and did it instead. She gently ran her thumbs over Lauren's cheeks and said, "What is it?"

"I... I'm just so glad to see you. I missed you so much," Lauren replied, her voice shaky with tears and so much emotion.

Nadia smiled at her quizzically. "What do you mean? Did I go somewhere...?" and then she finally noticed her surroundings. "Huh, apparently I did. Where am I?" She looked at Lauren more closely. "You look different too... you had shorter hair yesterday... Lauren?"

Lauren saw that Nadia was beginning to panic and began to soothe her girlfriend. She hugged the other woman to her and Nadia willingly sank into the comfort she was offering. "There's no other way to say this easily and I'm so sorry for that, but babe..." Lauren pulled away to look Nadia in the eye, "we're back in Toronto because you've been... sick and you had fallen into a coma."

"What?" Nadia's eyes had widened in astonishment and Lauren could feel her heart pounding furiously against hers. When Lauren didn't say anything and only continued to look serious, Nadia blinked and frowned. "You're serious? This is serious? I was in a coma...?" She disengaged herself from Lauren to stand up and began to pace. "How long?"

Lauren winced and braced herself. "Five years."

"Five years? Fuck me!" Nadia yelled out in surprise. Lauren watched her continue pacing and mutter to herself for a few moments before she tried to step closer.

"Nadia..." she began.

"I'm sorry babe," Nadia cut her off. "I... this just doesn't seem real. I can't believe..." She looked up to Lauren again and reached out for her face. Lauren let herself lean in to that hand, craving her girlfriend's touch. "But it's so strange because I feel like I haven't seen you for a long time too and then I look at you and I can see how much you've changed..."

Lauren pulled away with a fake glare. "Is that your subtle way of telling me I look old?"

Nadia couldn't help but laugh at that. She pulled Lauren closer and gave her a tender kiss. "I don't care how you look, I love you anyway. Nothing will change that."

Lauren struggled not to become a puddle of mushy goo on the floor and swallowed heavily. "Good answer."

And there was no talking for a while as they reacquainted themselves.

xxx

Lauren managed to stop them before anything serious could happen and herded Nadia off to a private room in the lab for a check up. Nadia bore her attentions willingly enough until she got bored and started to playfully distract Lauren with more kisses.

Lauren decided then that they better go to her rooms since Nadia seemed to be feeling particularly amorous (she wasn't sure if it was a lingering side-effect of the five year coma or what) but when they got there Nadia was sufficiently distracted by her bare rooms ("You live here? Ugh, why am I even surprised? This room looks like your first apartment before I moved in.") and then there was more explaining to do.

"Well basically, remember that all-important guy from the village who didn't want my help with developing the vaccine?" Lauren asked, struggling to remember the details of that week in the Congo.

"The tall, hot, black guy who was wearing white clothes?" Nadia asked, her brow furrowing in curiosity.

Lauren shivered in slight disgust at having the old Ash be described as "hot" by her girlfriend. Not to mention, he had played a large part in keeping Nadia in a coma state too. She understood his motives (and if he'd done it to someone else, she would have only shaken her head at his typical, arrogant "Ash-ness") but right now, she was just wasn't sure what to think of him.

"Yeah, him." Lauren nodded, trying to concentrate on Nadia. "It turns out that he was the CEO of this huge corporation called the LF Group," at this Lauren had to hide a smirk at the unimaginative name of the actual front organization for the Light Fae (she always found it funny.) before continuing, "Since I did him a favor for solving his problem, he offered me a position in the medical division of the company."

"It's a medical company?" Nadia asked. Lauren could see her journalist mind spinning already and she couldn't help but smile at this. That expression was so familiar and yet she had somehow forgotten about it. And then all of a sudden, Lauren felt like she could cry at that thought and had to take a deep breath to rein in her see-sawing emotions.

"No, not really. They have their hand in a lot of things and medical research is just one of them. Anyway, they also offered to place you in an experimental cryo-sleep procedure. This compound is one of their main offices, so to speak, and these are apartments set up where workers like me can live. I guess they figured it would be more efficient if they could cut down the commute time. And it doesn't affect salary rate either, whether you choose to stay or have a place of your own."

"Wow, that was really generous of them," Nadia commented.

Lauren shrugged at that. They talked a bit more about other stuff such as Nadia's parents (whom they've called and sounded really glad that their daughter was awake. Lauren had been really nervous at first but the magic in place was finely wrought and no one got suspicious.), their mutual friends (Nadia didn't seem surprised to find out that Lauren had drifted away from them) and about the changes in the world since Nadia had fallen asleep.

Nadia also tried to talk about the changes in Lauren but when they came to that topic, Lauren tried to put Nadia off, not wanting her girlfriend's keen eyes to note the other, non-physical changes in her yet. They could rediscover each other later, at a slower pace and it would give Lauren more time to get a handle on her emotions.

Nadia wouldn't have ordinarily allowed her to squirm away but Lauren's cell phone alarm saved her. It distracted Nadia ("This is a phone? How does it work?") and it also reminded her that she had a birthday party to attend to in a couple of hours.

Bo.

Dammit.

Lauren hadn't even thought of her for a couple of days now. She instantly felt guilty about that. She looked at Nadia fiddling with her phone and her guilt doubled. But then there was no time for any introspection because Nadia had begun to pull her towards her room.

"Babe?"

"You're invited to a birthday party right?"

Lauren blinked and nodded. "Yeah, it's for a friend, a work acquaintance uh friend. Just, Bo. Her name is Bo. It's her party but it's a surprise thing planned by her best friend Kenzi."

Nadia smiled indulgently at her. "I miss your babbles. It feels like I haven't heard you do that for too long, even though for me I had just literally seen you yesterday."

Lauren stuttered a little in embarrassment but didn't say anything.

Nadia let out a small laugh at her red face and continued to pull her until they reached her closet. "By the way," she asked as she began pawing through Lauren's clothes, "do you have some of my stuff here?"

Lauren's brows furrowed. "Is that what you're looking for? No, I'm sorry but they're on storage. I kept a few shirts and pants here though, just in case..." _you woke up earlier_ was the unsaid part.

Nadia seemed to hear it anyway and went to hug her again. "That's okay." And then she pulled away to continue her invasion of Lauren's closet. "Hmm..."

"What are you looking for?" Lauren finally asked.

"Party clothes, of course. Seriously Laur, this is pitiful." Nadia gestured to the half filled closet.

Lauren shrugged at that, not bothering to defend herself. Nadia was right anyway. But then again, there weren't many opportunities (or more importantly, no desire) to party it up.

"Look at this!" Nadia flicked the sleeve of a random pink shirt derisively before she continued with her rummaging. "Don't you have any...oh... finally, here we go." She leaned further back into the closet and Lauren looked around curiously to see what caught her attention.

"This would work perfectly. It'll show off your legs and you'll turn everyone to putty in no time."

Lauren stared at the dress and wondered how that got into her closet. She remembered it from her time "before the fae" and ... hadn't she, in fact, worn it for their anniversary before?

She was already shaking her head before she was even aware of her refusal. "No way."

Nadia frowned at her. "Why not? It's a killer dress."

"Right. And I don't need to impress anyone. It's a small gathering of friends."

That seemed to throw Nadia off. "Friends? I thought you said work buddies." She glanced at the dress in her hands and smiled at Lauren. "Then this would be even more perfect! I'm sure they've never seen you out of those boring shirts and pants..."

"Hey! It's not boring! It's professional but comfortable!"

"...as I said, boring. And you need to live a little, babe. It's a party and we have a lot to celebrate for, don't we?" Nadia glanced down and looked up at her behind her lashes. "Why don't you just do it for me then? I love you in this dress." Lauren realized that she recognized this expression too and remembered that she had no defense against it. She sighed deeply.

"Fine."

Nadia grinned triumphantly. "Okay, you can take a shower first, even though I haven't bathed in five years, and I'll do your hair when you come back. And then later when you come home, tell me what they think of the dress and we'll have our own party here."

Lauren was on her way to the bathroom but stopped short when she heard Nadia's words. She ignored the subtle innuendo and concentrated on the other part. "You're not coming with me?" She felt her heart beating faster in slight panic already, just from the simple thought of being separated from Nadia for a few hours.

Nadia looked confused. "Uh, do you want me to? I wasn't invited so I didn't think I should come with..."

Once again, it occurred to Lauren that for Nadia, they had never been parted for more than a day. Even though rationally, she had already accepted that she lost five years of her life, Nadia was still acting like it had been a small thing. Yes, she had seriously freaked out upon learning about it but her quick acceptance of her situation baffled and concerned Lauren.

Perhaps she was still in shock and everything hadn't quite made an impact yet? Maybe it would be a gradual breakdown as Nadia was slowly forced to realize all the changes in her life. Lauren tried to remember the things she had read about long-term coma patients and how to help them re-integrate to society but she couldn't concentrate beyond her own panic.

She really didn't want to go to the party if it meant leaving Nadia behind. Large parts of her were still firmly convinced that this was all a dream and that any moment she would wake up to find Nadia back on the pod.

Lauren walked quickly back to Nadia's side and gently squeezed her hand. She tried to be calm but still managed to sound a bit frantic. "Of course I want you to come. I'd love for you to meet my friends and you don't have to worry because I already told them about you and..."

Nadia stopped her anxious explanation with a small kiss. "Okay. I'll go with you." She took a deep breath and smiled at Lauren shyly. "I realized that I don't want to be separated from you either. I just... I really don't remember the past five years but somehow, deep in my heart, I feel that gap between us too. Like I'm hungry and empty but then I'd look at you and touch you and everything will feel right." Nadia shook her head a little, "I'm sorry, did that make sense?"

Lauren only smiled and kissed her again. "Yes. I understand perfectly."

xxx

The closer they got to Bo's place, the more nervous Lauren became. Fortunately, Nadia didn't notice as she was too busy ogling the outside world from the cab windows. Lauren tried to concentrate on her instead, commenting occasionally about stuff but then it also became apparent that she herself hadn't paid too much attention to the world as the years passed by (at least not the human one).

Nadia jokingly teased her about having her eyes glued to a microscope for the last five years and Lauren finally relaxed a little at their banter.

Her tension mounted again when they finally entered the house but the warm, if stilted, reception they received from everyone (even Bo) managed to relax Lauren again. She hated to throw Nadia in Bo's face like this but a part of her also felt giddy and proud of her girlfriend as she introduced her to everyone. (That tiny part of her was like an excited kid, wanting so badly to brag and yell out to everybody: "Look, everybody! This is her, this is my girlfriend Nadia! She's awake! Isn't she beautiful?")

But when she got the chance, Lauren slipped away quietly and followed Bo to the couch.

Bo's greeting was a bit too enthusiastic as she commented on Nadia's presence, which Lauren might've noticed as odd at any other time, but today, she had other thoughts in mind and was eager to gush. "It's incredible. Five years under the dome and she wakes up like it was yesterday we were in Africa," Lauren paused and then continued in a calmer tone. "If you hadn't gotten the cursing nail from the Morrigan we wouldn't have known the problem."

Bo just nodded at that and didn't seem to know what to say. Her hesitant smile finally clued Lauren to her state of mind. In an effort to change the subject, she brought out her gift and handed it to Bo. "I got you something."

Bo's smile as she received it became more genuine. "You didn't have to," she said, although she still looked pleased. However, her delight quickly turned to confusion when she saw the actual gift. "Blades from a Cuisinart?" Bo guessed.

"They're shurikens," Lauren explained. "Strange, I know, but what do you get the woman who has everything?" she tried to sound light-hearted but inside she was actually wincing at the gift. The truth was, there was no time to shop properly for Bo's gift what with the heavy workload of the past weeks and getting jailed in the dungeon for the last four days. In fact, if it weren't for the uncharacteristically anal Kenzi-planning, she wouldn't even have remembered to bring a gift. (The goth girl texted and called her so much to "remind" her that she almost wished Lachlan was still monitoring her phone calls.) As it was, she only managed to grab the shurikens from the armory and decided it was a safe bet for a gift since she knew that Bo had gotten into collecting weapons recently.

Lauren sighed as she watched Bo put back the shurikens in their case. "I worry about what you get mixed up in and I just want to keep you safe," she admitted softly.

Bo only glanced to where Nadia was talking to Kenzi and Nate, and said, "You don't have to worry about me. You have other things to occupy your mind now."

This time, Lauren really had to work not to flinch openly at the mild censure. She understood where Bo was coming from but it only hit her now as she thought about the changes that needed to happen in their relationship in the future. (No more late night visits to the lab or pondering musty books about fae on Bo's couch; no casual touches and soulful looks; no more smiles with hidden promises and most of all, no more hope for something more to develop.) This was it. Nadia's awake. Her biggest wish had been fulfilled and ...

Lauren blinked but then she smiled again. This time her smile was a copy of Bo's: strained and mostly fake. "I should get back," she said.

Bo only gestured to her gift bag. "Thank you."

xxx

They left soon after Lauren's talk with Bo. That time, there was only silence during the cab ride as both became immersed in their own thoughts.

Nonetheless, the moment they entered her apartment Lauren was suddenly jolted out of her musings to find herself pinned to the door and kissed thoroughly. She recovered quickly though, and returned the kiss with just as much passion.

There were no words this time, no interruptions in the form of jokes and reassurances. They only needed (wanted) each other with a desperate desire and they sought to give the other what they couldn't ask for in words. It was a blur of limbs and torn clothing.

It was almost a frenzy but the moment they dropped on the bed and Nadia sat up on top of her, the mood gradually changed. What was once a frantic touching became a slow, sensuous tracing of a beloved body. Hands and mouth re-traced their paths on familiar skin, remembering and re-learning what made the other gasp and sigh and moan.

Lauren hadn't realized that she had began to cry and murmur words of love and sorrow and guilt, but she noticed when Nadia wiped the silent tears away with gentle kisses and careful hands. When Lauren looked into Nadia's eyes, she felt her heart expand as if it would burst, because she could see that Nadia understood. Nadia wasn't trying to stop her tears, she wanted only to soothe Lauren and the five years worth of pain that had marked her lover so deeply. Her every gesture to the vulnerable doctor spoke of care and acceptance, and Lauren finally felt something in her relax and unknot. It seemed, at that moment, she was able to breathe deeply and fully, free at last from her heavy burdens.

"I love you."

xxx

Lauren woke up early despite the late night. Nadia had fallen asleep quickly but even after their exertions in bed, Lauren couldn't make herself relax enough to follow into slumber. She hadn't been able to remove her eyes from Nadia's form, still afraid that it would be the last time she'd see the other woman and this waking dream would vanish forever. (In her paranoia, Lauren would nudge Nadia once in a while to elicit a sleepy reaction just to make sure that Nadia hadn't fallen back into a coma. Unfortunately, she had also forgotten that her girlfriend had quite the temper. Nadia wasn't pleased with her actions and threatened to banish her to the couch so Lauren had to content herself with watching Nadia sleep instead.) Eventually though, exhaustion caught up with her and she finally got some rest.

In the morning, she felt relieved the Nadia was still there beside her and that yesterday hadn't been a hopeful figment of her severely stressed mind. But still, Lauren didn't linger. She dressed hurriedly, in silence, and left her sleeping girlfriend behind. Later, they could have a nice morning together but for now she had to take care of something important.

The compound was relatively empty with the morning hour but some people were already up and working (Lauren knew he would be up by now, too). She took a quick detour to the lab and picked up the tests she had ordered yesterday to be finished regarding Nadia's health. As she had already suspected, her girlfriend was 100% healthy. Still, another knot loosened in her chest and her steps were lighter as she headed towards her destination.

The guards by his door weren't surprised to see her, knowing the hours that she kept and let her in without trouble.

"Ah, how's the patient?" Lachlan greeted cheerfully.

Lauren was solemn. "She's good. She checks out completely. It's astonishing."

Lachlan grinned arrogantly and declared, "No, it's fae."

"I am... extremely grateful to you." Lauren took a deep breath and knelt slowly. This time, the act of kneeling no longer burned her. He was still a smarmy bastard but he had kept his word and for that she could no longer begrudge him his due as her Ash. "And I honor my promise, Nadia's life in exchange for my recommitment to you."

She did not bow her head and instead, looked up to him so that he would see her sincerity. He lifted his hands to show her a necklace - her necklace, she realized, the one she had thrown on the ground in defiance - and put it on her, saying, " And from now on, the necklace, stays on."

Lauren nodded and promised, keenly aware of what her decision entailed. "Forever. "

Lachlan cupped her face, his touch surprisingly warm and gentle, and looked deeply into her eyes. She didn't know what he was looking for but then he surprised her by giving a genuine smile. It made the corner of his eyes crinkle and a small dimple to appear on his left cheek.

"I'm glad to have you on my team, doctor."


	28. The notsohappy ever after

A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the wait. I struggled a bit over this chapter and I'm still not sure about it. There's a lot of "thinking" (deep brooding, more like) done here and not much action so it might be boring, but please be patient because there is a point to this.

* * *

><p>40<p>

The next few days were positively idyllic in terms of Lauren's workaholic lifestyle. As soon as she had recommitted herself to the Ash, he lifted all restrictions on her freedom and even allowed her some privileges.

One of the privileges was reducing her workload, along with letting her work from home. This essentially freed up a lot of time and Lauren put it to good use, re-connecting with Nadia.

Their first order of business was a detailed tour of Toronto, to examine the changes more carefully. It was exhausting but Lauren was surprised to find it enjoyable. Although she didn't care for the shopping part (Nadia declared her old clothes from storage "un-wearable" from moth damage and proceeded to shop for a new wardrobe... and new furniture and decorations for Lauren's bare apartment.), being with Nadia was thrilling.

She didn't have much time for vacations (none at all in fact) and during her breaks, she usually only went to either the mall (for the infrequent clothes shopping) or a bar (which usually meant the Dal). If she did go out, it was usually fae-related and involved examining a kill or doctoring a sick fae.

In many ways though, the whole going-out-with-her-girlfriend was also a surreal experience for Lauren. She hadn't allowed herself to enjoy life these past five years, feeling guilty that she could and Nadia couldn't, and it had taken a toll on her. While she enjoyed being with Nadia like this, parts of her became anxious if she was away from the lab and her work for too long. That feeling in turn, made her feel guilty for valuing her work more than Nadia.

It was stressing and Lauren wondered, as she gazed at an excited Nadia pointing at yet another new item, if somehow their roles hadn't been reversed. Shouldn't Lauren be the carefree one? After years of working to wake Nadia up and finally achieving it, she should be reaping her rewards now. She should be playing the relaxed guide, be her girlfriend's rock amidst the chaotic world. Nadia should be more bewildered and frightened at her new situation.

But no, why would she? Yes, she had woken up to a strange world but Lauren had prepared everything well for her, hadn't she? Lauren had ensured that there would be no damaging consequences to Nadia's awakening, whenever it was. Nadia's family was worried but not frantic. They had reassured Nadia of their love and care and her old friends would do the same. Lauren was here for her. In the end, she only lost her job but she could easily get that back.

The world had changed but the important things hadn't and with all the support, Nadia didn't have anything to fear. Besides, she had always been the go-getter in their relationship, the brave one, who put herself out and faced the world head-on.

Lauren's musings stopped abruptly when she realized something else. It wasn't just the outside changes, wasn't it? It was Nadia too. For her, she had only lost a day and she still viewed herself the same. It wasn't her that changed, it was everyone else around her. Lauren blinked furiously as she processed another thought: she was 26 years old when she met Nadia and the other woman was 23. When they went to the Congo she was 29 and Nadia, a mere 26 year old. She was sure that Nadia still considered herself that way and this definite played a large part in her girlfriend's current outlook.

What must it feel like, Lauren wondered, to be able to seemingly jump through time and experience a future world without the chains of life weighing you down?

Suddenly, she felt those chains weighing her down like anchor. Her earlier enjoyment of the moment had vanished, leaving only a lingering aftertaste. She wished she could be as lively and enthusiastic as Nadia was but right now she just felt like a boring, old fuddy-duddy that Nadia had accused her of being.

Lauren wanted so much to share everything again with her girlfriend but she could still feel a barrier between them preventing her and she didn't know exactly what caused it. Even with her theories on Nadia's recovery attitude, Lauren knew there was something else that was bothering her and preventing her from fully connecting with Nadia again.

But just as she struggled with the frustration of this unexpected riddle, the answer suddenly came to her: innocence, her and Nadia's.

It wasn't just the "age gap" (which effectively widened from three to eight years apart) and Nadia's "leap" in time. It was also Lauren's experiences that changed her and made her uneasy now. She recognized all of this - shopping and acting as tourists and playing around - as a fun moment to be relished but it was temporary. Lauren had her own life and sooner or later she would go back to it, regardless of Nadia's active presence in her life. (How strange. Lauren had believed all this time that Nadia was the centre of her life, every deed done for her sake and now that she was awake, Nadia had unexpectedly become almost superfluous, the one who didn't belong.)

That's what it was. Looking at Nadia now just made Lauren feel her lost innocence and being with her no longer felt as comfortable as it should be. It felt like a blast from the past... Lauren shook her head furiously, she was only making it harder for herself with the time metaphors. The point was that she could feel a gap between them and it wasn't anyone's fault. She couldn't apologize for what she had become because it was a matter of survival and she couldn't blame Nadia either. They were just stuck.

Lauren wondered how long it would be before Nadia came to the same conclusion.

And of course, Nadia still didn't know everything that happened to her during their separation. Lauren found that she couldn't tell her girlfriend anything but the most mundane details of her life. She had dredged her mind for funny or remarkable stories but was always careful to manipulate the details so that there would be no hint of the fae.

That was yet another unexpected barrier between them although this one, Lauren knew, was one she could remedy. And still she dithered over it.

The whole fae secrecy wasn't really an excuse because she had the Ash's permission to bring Nadia into the fold. (Lauren knew that this did not necessarily mean automatic "enslavement" and would be more of a "casual alliance" type. Meaning, Nadia was to keep the secret of the fae existence and occasionally, she could be asked to do a favor for the Ash. In return, she would also get some sort of 'perk' for services rendered.) With that worry out of the way, she should have been more forthcoming but instead, she found herself guarding the fae aspect of her life fiercely.

Part of it, Lauren conceded, was because she felt the fae was a dangerous taint and she wanted to protect Nadia from it (which actually didn't make sense because technically, Nadia was already as mired in it). But part of it was also a weird form of jealousy. The fae were Lauren's and she certainly worked hard to distinguish herself among them. Nadia wasn't part of that life. (Wasn't she? Hadn't she just argued that Nadia was also part of the whole mess with the fae? Maybe she was also guilty of seeing a "younger Nadia" and trying to merge her in these conflicting surroundings.)

It was all so confusing. Lauren sighed and felt that phrase merited a second utterance. _It was all so freaking confusing_.

Lauren sighed again but Nadia came and pulled her away to look at another store. She shook her head to clear away the heavy thoughts that plagued her and hoped that she was only worrying needlessly, like she was prone to do.

xxx

Lauren struggled with her inner turmoil, trying to solve it on her own without worrying her girlfriend. She remained attentive and loving, but sometimes she couldn't help but fall silent and distant as she wrestled with her emotions. She failed in her original goal of not worrying Nadia because the other woman certainly took note of her odd moods and made plans of her own.

"What did you say?" Lauren asked, taking the remote control to turn down the TV's volume.

"I said I want to go somewhere. Take a vacation maybe? I like your apartment, especially now that we have proper furniture," Nadia teased, "but I'm beginning to feel a little claustrophobic." Nadia looked at her expectantly.

Lauren frowned. "But we haven't been here much the past five days, we're always going out."

Nadia tried to shrug off that logic. "I know but... I don't know. I just wanted to go someplace else. Maybe by the lake? Remember that time we went there for a mini-vacation?"

Lauren nodded absentmindedly, her brain already trying to determine the real reason for her girlfriend's sudden restlessness. "Are you okay?" she asked gently.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just want some fresh air." Nadia stood up and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. Lauren watched her retreating back with a deepening unease. It was probably stupid to be so anxious about a vacation but...

"Are you sure?" Lauren persisted, following after her girlfriend.

"I am. I told you I'm fine." Nadia looked a little irritated now. "I'm not even doing this for me..." she hastily shut her mouth when she realized it had run off automatically.

Now Lauren was even more baffled. "What?"

Nadia sighed. "I noticed that you've been kinda stressed the past few days." She hesitated. "I thought you'd tell me about it like you always did but you just kept to yourself. You looked so lost sometimes and ... did you even notice that I was trying to tease it out of you?"

Lauren was surprised and tried to scramble for a proper explanation. "I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind, work mostly but..."

"Don't lie to me, Lauren," Nadia interrupted in frustration. "The coma didn't suddenly make me stupid. It's not just work! I know because sometimes I catch you looking at me like you're confused or puzzling me out as if I'm some interesting new specimen under your microscope." She visibly tried to calm herself down and continued, "What's wrong? Please tell me. It's... you're making me nervous."

"I...I'm sorry." Lauren looked torn and apologetic. "I didn't mean to worry you. It's, I mean, I had umm," Lauren stuttered, unsure how to start. "I was just... It's taking me a while to adjust to your presence in my life. I didn't expect I'd have this much trouble over it but..." Lauren shrugged her hands helplessly.

Nadia's face became unreadable. "What are you saying?"

Lauren seemed to catch on to Nadia's unspoken fear of _Do you regret waking me up?_ and hurriedly tried to reassure her, grabbing her hands tightly. "It's not that. I just... I'd gotten used to being alone and you being here is a big change. A good change," she emphasized and tugged Nadia closer for a hug.

"Look, I am struggling too. It's not... I just..." Nadia sighed heavily in her hair and pulled away. "I can see how much you've already given up for me, Lauren and I'm, I don't want to be ungrateful, I guess."

Lauren felt a mixture of relief and concern. Nadia's confession did a lot to assuage most of her worries but she still couldn't let her think that. "Oh Nadia, you shouldn't feel that way. It was my choice to stick with you and I did it gladly because I l-love you." She made a face and grudgingly relented with her own confession. "I didn't even notice that you were struggling. I really thought that you were coping so well and because of that I felt unneeded. It's stupid, I know. I had prepared to deal with some bouts of depression and feelings of loss as you get used to this time, but I should have known better huh?"

"Yeah, you should have." Nadia offered a slight grin. "And it is stupid because I do rely on you, more than you realize." She became more serious as she continued. "It is scary, Lauren, to wake up and know that five years of my life are gone. I force myself to be carefree and treat this as a kind of adventure, like a game, I guess, because I don't know how to cope otherwise. But your presence makes that possible too. If you weren't here then I'd probably be an emotional wreck right now," Nadia admitted with a sad grin.

Lauren opened her mouth to say something but Nadia wasn't done speaking yet. "That's why I wanted to go on a vacation too. I'm done with re-familiarizing myself with everything else and I want to concentrate on you. On us," Nadia paused. "I think we need some time of our own together. I know that technically, we're already together all the time but you live where you work!" Nadia gave a small laugh at that, shaking her head slightly. "It's not just the same. I can feel you holding back and I need you not to do that. Okay?"

What else could Lauren say to that but, "Okay," Lauren nodded in agreement. "I'm sure Lachlan would be fine if we take off for a few days or so."

Nadia took a deep breath in relief and Lauren felt a pang of guilt at how worried she had made her girlfriend. "Great. That's great." She gathered Lauren back to her and kissed her sweetly. "I'm so glad you're here with me."

"And I always will be," Lauren promised.

xxx

Lachlan didn't even bat an eye at her request for vacation. He merely asked that she continue checking her email and phone for messages, in case of emergency.

Nadia's other request though, when time came, was very unusual and perplexed the hell out of Lauren.

"You want to what?"

"Borrow Bo's car. I saw it parked near their house when we went there." Nadia shrugged and tried to look busy with the packing. "I just thought it looked cool."

Lauren began to seriously consider that maybe the coma did have terrible side effects. When had the aptly nicknamed "CrapMobile" ever looked cool?

"It's garbage, babe," Lauren stated flatly. And then she felt slight guilt over bashing Bo's car and tried again, "It's old and not safe. It's a four-hour trip and we can't have a vehicle that would most likely breakdown in the middle of the highway." Lauren started walking away before adding, "Besides, Lachlan would easily lend us a company car. It's not a problem."

She thought that would be the end of it but they ended up discussing (arguing) the point for an hour before Lauren gave up. "Fine! I'll ask her."

Nadia gave her a grateful kiss. "Thanks, babe. I just think it would be more of an adventure this way."

Lauren didn't bother answering that properly but only mumbled to herself discontentedly.

xxx

It had been easy to give in to Nadia's request (demand) when Lauren didn't think of the actual "going to Bo and asking to borrow her car" part. She put it off until the actual day they were leaving but still when they got to the clubhouse, her hands were sweating noticeably. (She was just glad that they had the pretense of carrying their luggage with them to avoid the usual holding hands with Nadia.)

Lauren tried to steel herself when she knocked on the door but Bo's appearance still took most of her breath away. The succubus looked genuinely happy to see her and Lauren knew that she was probably smiling just as widely.

Then Bo noticed Nadia far behind her and the bags with them. "Don't tell me you ran away again?" she questioned, quirking an eyebrow.

Lauren laughed nervously and hurriedly checked if Nadia heard the question. When it seemed that she didn't, Lauren turned back to Bo and said, "No. Not this time. Uh, can we talk?" she gestured to the house.

Bo stepped aside and let her in. "What's up?"

"I… we were wondering if we could borrow your car. Just for five days," Lauren said. At Bo's questioning look, Lauren elaborated. "We're taking a small vacation. You know, get out of the city and uh, reconnect."

Bo nodded slowly, "Ah, I get it. Kinda like a honeymoon huh?" Before Lauren could comment on that, Bo walked away from her. Lauren watched her curiously and smiled when Bo handed her the car keys.

"Thank you for the car," Lauren said gratefully.

"She's not the best on gas," Bo warned, "but she'll get you from A to B and hit on," she laughingly joked. "Mostly by guys in cheese grater hats but, uh…"

Lauren chuckled. "Got it."

"Oh and speaking of gas, for some reason when you go over 60 clicks it starts to smell like gas, so you might want to make frequent stops to, to well, avoid brain damage." Another gorgeous grin and Lauren was hard pressed to think clearly. But she forced herself especially with that last warning.

"Maybe we should just take the bus," she said semi-seriously, handing the keys back to Bo.

"No, no. Sorry, it's uh, it's okay." Bo pushed her hand back and the slight touch ignited an instantaneous fiery burn that swiftly tried to overwhelm her. For a second, Lauren thought that Bo had used her powers but no, it was just a normal touch. Lauren swallowed heavily and tried to get her composure back.

"Be careful on the road, okay?" Bo said, her voice gentle. Lauren felt her heart swell at those concerned eyes. She didn't know how she would have replied if Nadia hadn't taken that moment to check in on them.

"All set?" her girlfriend asked expectantly.

That's right. Her girlfriend. Lauren made herself smile at Nadia and said, "Okay. One sec, sweetie."

They watched Nadia walk away before Lauren turned back to Bo.

"Well, have fun," Bo said, her voice bouncing back to that cheerful tone. "And let me know if you need anything, okay? Anything at all."

"I'm not gonna call you when I'm gone," Lauren stated, deciding quickly. She couldn't think of Bo when she was supposed to enjoy herself with Nadia. It would be hard but she had to try for Nadia's sake (for all their sakes). Bo looked surprised and slightly hurt but Lauren just continued. "And I don't want you to call me either."

"Why does it feel like I'm never going to see you again?" Bo pleaded anxiously.

"You will, Bo," Lauren paused and tried to break the heavy atmosphere, "I have your car." Bo laughed slightly and Lauren offered her a gentle smile. "I am coming back," she reassured the succubus. "For good. I've recommitted myself to the Ash."

Bo lost her lingering smile and her jaw dropped in clear surprise. "What?" she asked disbelievingly.

"He saved Nadia's life. I owe him everything," Lauren explained and watched Bo gather herself. The succubus didn't comment so Lauren flicked the keys in her hand and said, "Thank you, again."

"Yeah," Bo said lamely.

Lauren took a last look of the succubus before turning to her waiting girlfriend. "Right, we're off then."


	29. Nadia

A/N: Sorry for the pretty long wait. Got caught up playing Mass Effect and reading Harry Potter femslash fics. :D More author's note at the end. Also, Bo's not present in this chapter and it's pretty much Lauren/Nadia-centric so please be patient.

* * *

><p>41<p>

True to form, not an hour of driving and the crapmobile started to smell of gas. Lauren quickly pulled to the shoulder and cut the engine, allowing it to rest for a while. She turned to Nadia with a sarcastic grin and mockingly asked, "Having fun yet?"

Nadia shook her head at her and simply smiled. "I always have fun when I'm with you."

Lauren laughed out loud at that and Nadia giggled too. "Bull! I love you babe, but you can't flatter your way out of this mess," Lauren said, wagging an accusing finger. "You know, we're still in the city and we can still go back to the compound and borrow a better car. We'll just leave Bo's car in the garage and return it when we get back."

Nadia immediately shook her head causing Lauren to groan dramatically. "I really don't get your obsession with this car."

Nadia just smiled at her and began to engage her in conversation about her life.

Lauren relented and settled in to talk about her research and the medical work that she was doing while they waited for the car to cool down. She was in the middle of a tweaked foot-soup story when she decided to try and start the car again. Preoccupied by the multiple tasks (it was important to properly describe Kenzi's full horror at eating soup with what "looked" liked human foot), Lauren never registered Nadia's question until after she had answered it with, "It was an Aswang and of course they eat... wait, what? Uh, what did you say?"

She quickly tried to backtrack but Lauren knew from Nadia's expression that it was too late. Cold sweat suddenly popped out of her pores and nerveless fingers fumbled and dropped the car keys on the floor. "Babe?" Lauren asked in confusion.

Nadia sighed and ran a restless hand over her hair. "You heard right, Lauren. I know about the fae. I admit that it took me a couple of days to realize that we were living with other fae in the compound but once I figured it out, I had to get us out of there." She reached for Lauren's limp hand and said, "Don't you see? That's why we can't use their car. It might be bugged or something!"

"You know..." Lauren started to say, although her brain still felt like it was stuck in honey.

"Yes." Nadia admitted again.

"How?"

Nadia squeezed Lauren's hand tightly and started to explain. "You know how I was traveling all over the Congo taking photos right? Well, I met a lot of people and I heard lots of stories. At first, I was sure they were all superstition and folk tales but I thought it was interesting too. I decided to research it a bit, thinking to write a feature article as well to go with the pictures I was taking. That's when I encountered the fae." Nadia paused to give Lauren's hand another reassuring squeeze. "I didn't know at first what he was and it was completely ridiculous to believe in the wild tales the villagers used to tell him but, I don't know, part of me just wouldn't let me dismiss it."

"You met a fae?" Lauren asked, not so much for clarification but for something to say and get her brain to start working again.

"Yeah, a shaman." Nadia stopped immediately when she saw Lauren pale and tense up. "What's wrong, babe?"

"A sha...how did you know what he was?"

Nadia looked confused but still answered carefully. "That's what the villagers called him. They went to him for herbal remedies and stuff but only as a last resort. It seemed everyone had a dark story to tell about him and they were convinced that the shaman knew magic." She waited to see if Lauren was going to ask more and when the doctor didn't, Nadia continued. "I was really curious by then so I approached him. They warned me about it but I figured, what's the real harm? I don't...didn't believe in the magic stuff so worst comes to worst he'll cast a mumbo-jumbo spell on me and then I'll just go away."

Lauren caught the change of tense in that bit about magic and waited for Nadia to elaborate.

"And that didn't even happen when I approached him for an interview. I didn't even make it in his hut. He just refused and was actually even polite about turning me down. I should have let it go after that but I didn't. You can guess what I did."

Lauren could certainly guess and she knew she would be right too. Nadia was like a bulldog when she'd gotten hint of a story and she didn't let go so easily.

Nadia gave a small sad smile at Lauren's expression. "Yeah, I know. I sneaked in the next night and I saw something weird through his window." At this, her voice became lower and her eyes drifted away as she vividly remembered that night. "He was mumbling the mumbo-jumbo crap but he was also kinda praying over a box of nails. And then there was this pole inside his house, full of embedded nails. That was all strange enough but as I was watching, I noticed that one of the nails he was holding had begun to glow and I swear Lauren," Nadia squeezed Lauren's hand tighter and Lauren noticed that Nadia's palms had gotten sweaty. "...I swear I heard someone scream and that it was coming from the nail. I couldn't leave by then. I watched him hammer the nail in the pole along with the others. There was another flashing light once he'd embedded it in and then I gasped."

"What happened then?" Lauren asked immediately, her heart pounding furiously despite already knowing how events turned out.

"I ran away," Nadia stated simply. "I was sure that he didn't see me but still, I dropped the research immediately."

Lauren thought this over for a moment and then asked, "He was the only fae you've seen?"

"Yes."

"Then how did you connect everything about me working for the fae? A shaman in the Congo is different from the people you've seen in the compound," Lauren rationalized.

Nadia gave her a disturbed look. "They're not people. They're creatures." Lauren frowned at that but she didn't comment. Nadia continued, "I looked at some of the medical files you had left in the apartment. I figured it was a codename at first: FAE. But then there's also your uh, _new_ books on fairy tales and mythological creatures and I connected the dots. I also know enough about your work to read between the lines: the genetic markers, extra proteins etc. It wasn't a solid proof but then there's your reaction just now."

Lauren felt her head ache and fought the urge to pull her hair in aggravation. Nadia only looked curious. "That important looking guy you met in the Congo, your previous boss, he was fae right? I mean, everyone in that compound was fae and you've been living with them all this time?"

Lauren just nodded. She didn't know what Nadia was thinking of right now and couldn't even begin to guess at it. Her brain was still scrambling to recover from this bad surprise.

Nadia muttered something that sounded like "small world" before she continued. "How did you come to work for them? And why bring me?"

All these questions and Lauren should have had a ready answer for her. Despite her new knowledge of the nature and cause of Nadia's coma state, she had practiced the re-telling of this story for so many times in all these years. And yet, Lauren could not remember any of that now. Instead, the raw truth came out of her and she saw how the words affected Nadia. (Later, Lauren would feel some guilt with the thought that she had been deliberately blunt just to get even with Nadia and deal her a surprising blow too.)

"I managed to cobble a cure for the villagers and the Ash was grateful about it," Lauren began in a flat tone. "I came home to tell you everything but you were sick and then you quickly fell into a coma. I tested you for any disease and infection but every result insisted that you were fine except your body was still deteriorating by itself." Lauren finally removed her hand from Nadia's and turned to face forward, glaring at the steering wheel. "I didn't know what to do until I realized that it must've been a fae virus or something, it was too big a coincidence not to be. So I went to the Ash and I asked him for help and he gave it to me, in exchange for my loyalty and my services."

She turned to glance back at Nadia. "For five years I looked for a cure to your disease but I had it all wrong. You weren't sick, you were cursed." Lauren watched Nadia's face pale alarmingly as she realized the import of Lauren's words. Still, Lauren continued, driving her words deep enough hurt (hurt them both for their mistakes that brought them to this place). "Lachlan told me that a shaman from the Congo cursed you and the only way to undo it was to remove your nail from his wooden post. I assumed he had arranged for someone to fix it because you're here now, awake and healthy."

A loud sobbing gasp filled the air and then there was only silence.

Lauren finally re-started the car and continued driving. They had to stop for three more times to let the car rest and one time for lunch and the silence reigned supreme. They didn't talk to each other, (could hardly look at the other person) both caught up in their own thoughts and worries.

xxx

They made it past the hotel's receptionist without looking the other in the eye (the most unlikely vacationing couple ever) and up the elevator to their room, before Nadia broke the tension between them.

"Let's just run away."

Lauren had calmly began to unpack some of their clothes to the drawers when Nadia spoke, startling her. She had gotten so used to the silence that the words didn't register at first. When they did, Lauren couldn't believe it. "What?" she asked confusedly.

Nadia had been sitting on the bed but she jumped up at Lauren's question and walked towards the doctor. She took Lauren's limp hand on her own and pulled slightly. "Let's just go away. You, we don't have to go back there! We can just go and get away from them."

"What?"

Nadia pulled at Lauren a bit harder, frustrated at her girlfriend's shocked blank face. "Let's go! We, you can be free. You don't have to be work for them anymore because I'm okay now, like you said."

Lauren was finally starting to believe that Nadia really meant what she was saying. "Because of Lachlan. I owe him..."

"You don't owe them anything, Lauren! We don't owe them anything. They aren't human and they don't care about those who are. They play with our lives so easily!" Nadia argued, her voice trembling hard with fear and anger.

Lauren pulled her closer in a hard hug. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm, we're okay. Calm down."

"Lauren..." Nadia cried then, big gulping tears that tore at Lauren's heart. This was what she had been waiting for; the breakdown that she should have been prepared for. But instead of being a rock, Lauren had started crying too and sobbing just as hard. In that moment, they could only cling to each other, hoping that the other person wouldn't let go.

When the storm of emotions passed, Lauren directed them to sit at the bed but she never let go of her tight hold of Nadia. Nadia didn't try to break free either and cuddled up closer once they were settled. They spent a few moments in silence first, before Lauren spoke up.

"I can't go."

Nadia immediately tensed beside her and tried to pull away but Lauren only held her firmly. "Let me explain," Lauren asked and waited until Nadia had relaxed somewhat. Lauren stared at her girlfriend's accusing eyes and sighed heavily. "I can't go," she said again, "because I owe..."

"You don't...!"

"Nadia." That one word and the tone behind it effectively shut Nadia up although she looked mutinous now.

Lauren sighed again. "I do owe him and that won't change no matter how much you argue against it." She finally allowed Nadia to put a little space between them but kept on holding to her hand. "And I'm only now beginning to see how much you... don't like the fae. But babe, this is my life now. For the last five years, the fae has been my family."

"That's stupid!" Nadia burst out, unable to contain herself anymore. She stood up and began to pace in front of Lauren. "You have a real family and friends, and they're human like you! Don't think that I didn't notice you dodging questions about them too, Lauren? What did that Ash do? Kept you away, right?"

Lauren couldn't deny that. "He did. And I understood why." She stood up too and faced Nadia directly. "It's not like I was forced to serve him, I chose that path Nadia. I read the fine print carefully and signed my life over to him..." Her last words were muffled under Nadia's hand.

"Stop, please," Nadia begged tearfully. "I hate that I did this to you, that you had to sell yourself like a slave to that guy just because..."

It was Lauren's turn to stop Nadia but she did it with a gentle kiss instead. "No, stop it. There's no point in blame. It's all in the past now. We have to move forward instead."

"That's why we have to go away, Lauren. Start fresh. Just be together again," Nadia argued.

Lauren felt a lump in her throat. For a second she could imagine that life where she and Nadia were together and they were no fae bodies to dissect or fae patients to treat or an Ash to report to and placate and obey and ... no Bo or Trick or her fae staff. She couldn't. It hurt to realize that she didn't want that dream of being "normal" anymore.

"We... no, I can't Nadia."

"Why the hell not?"

Lauren could see her getting angry again and tried to change tactics. "Why do we have to go anywhere anyway? We can build a life here. The fae aren't all bad, Nadia. The shaman that cursed you belonged to the Dark clan and they're usually more cavalier regarding humans. The Light clan..."

"No, no, no. I don't want to hear that!" Nadia began to pace again in agitation. "I don't want to know about them, let alone live with them. I just want to forget this ever happened and live our life together again."

Lauren swallowed heavily. "We can do that just as easily here. They have resources that..."

"Why don't you want to leave?" Nadia interrupted, her face crumpling in confusion and despair. "I thought you'd be more eager to jump at this chance to escape them."

"I..." Lauren sighed heavily. "I did. At first, all I could think about was waking you up from that damned coma and going some place far away. But," Lauren lifted sorrowful eyes to her girlfriend. "but I got used to living there. I learned a lot and I was still able to help other people, even when I couldn't help you." She tried to take Nadia's hand but the other woman stepped away. "Nadia... I, it's my home now. Don't you see?"

Nadia frowned heavily. "No, I don't. I don't understand at all." She glared at the dejected doctor. "All I can think right now is that you're choosing them rather than me."

"That's not what I said!"

"Well, that's certainly what it sounded like!" Nadia yelled, temper flaring again. "You like it there like... you've got some sort of Stockholm's Syndrome or something..."

"It's not..." Lauren tried to interject.

"...the way you come to their defence and they're not even worth it!"

"I told you that the shaman you encountered was different...!"

"That boss of yours, Lachlan, how did he know to cure the c-curse? How long had he known before he told you?" Nadia tried another tactic but couldn't help the waver in her voice at the dreaded word.

Lauren blinked. She immediately thought of the former Ash who had deliberately kept the information away from her. "Just last month. I found a possible lead about your cure and I asked him about it. He told me immediately what he knew." It was all true and there was no need to complicate the story with the Morrigan and the Lich.

"And he offered to help me immediately, is that it? It just took what? A month?" Nadia asked.

Lauren's shoulders drooped a little at the true answer. She debated lying about it but...no, there had been enough lies in her life. "No. He said that he wasn't the Ash when you were cursed and that he couldn't help you." She remembered the bitterness and desperation that tinged that particular memory.

Nadia's stance clearly tried to convey an I-Told-You-So message. "You see? You offered him, what was it? Loyalty and service? And I know you, babe. I know that you would have given them your 500% because you're that kind of person, and he can't even manage to return the gesture?"

"He did. Eventually." It was a weak rebuttal and they both knew it. But Lauren tried again, "It's not always like that. He had other stuff to do that time..." It was unbelievable that she had to defend that man now but Lauren had to make Nadia understand.

"Stop," Nadia ordered. "I don't think you'll be able to convince me to willingly join the fae, Lauren. I just can't. I can't live my life like that, following someone's orders like a slave." Nadia's looked pained at Lauren's barely hidden wince but her eyes were clear and firm.

"You don't have to join, just accept that they exist and keep that a secret," Lauren explained, trying for a last shot.

"Yeah okay, but we both know that it won't be a life without strings. And you'll still be working for them and I can't see you like that too. They would still affect us and I won't be able to stand that."

A beat of silence fell before Lauren nodded. "I understand what you mean."

"Then...?"

"But I still can't just run away..."

"If you love me Lauren, you'll do this for me." Lauren's head snapped up at that ultimatum and Nadia continued. "The Lauren I remember wouldn't have hesitated at all and she would choose us, just like I chose us before, when I came with you to the Congo." And then she left.

This time, Lauren wasn't able to hide the involuntary flinch from the painful reminder.

xxx

That night, Lauren found herself unable to sleep. Nadia's slumbering form beside her was warm and inviting but even when she tried to cuddle closer, Lauren could feel her brain fighting sleep. Her mind was too full and her heart was too confused to allow her to relax yet. Their words from this afternoon was running around her brain and it won't allow her rest until she dealt with them properly.

Running away. Lauren took a quick glance at her sleeping girlfriend before turning her gaze to the dark ceiling. She had rejected the notion earlier but she forced herself to really think about it now.

That afternoon, when she had imagined her world without the fae (without Bo), Lauren had felt uneasy and slightly panicky as if she was a child being told to go with a stranger and leave her family and home behind. There had been an instinctive reaction in her to stick close to what was familiar and safe, and she frowned at that thought now. When had the fae become the "familiar and safe" (become "home")? Nadia should be her home and yet she wasn't.

Fighting a surge of guilt at that thought, Lauren forced her mind to dissect the topic and find the root of her unease.

Was it because of Bo?

The mere thought of the succubus made her heart pound faster and nausea to rise to her throat. Lauren struggled to calm herself and be objective about it.

She wasn't sure when she became so attached the fae and maybe, probably, Bo had something to do with it.

Stealing another look at her bed companion, Lauren closed her eyes for a moment and allowed herself to acknowledge the forbidden truth she was trying to deny: her devastating love for Bo. Her heart ached fiercely but the pain felt... right. There was a sense of relief that coursed through her when she admitted her feelings for the succubus.

So.

Bo did play a part (a large part) on her reluctance to leave the fae behind. Lauren knew that she couldn't have the succubus - a massive understatement (where would she even begin with the reasons why they couldn't be together?) - but still, to willingly leave her behind?

And then there was the fae. The Light clan had been her home for the last five years and she had fought for and gained their acceptance. Lauren believed that she was important to the Light and that she was (significant) different from all other humans involved with the fae.

But then she remembered the way Lachlan had treated her these past months and the old Ash's deception to keep her by his side. She remembered the early years with the fae: the frantic search for Nadia's cure, the hardship of learning about the fae (their biology and sociology), the isolation from the world she had known and the deep loneliness of being human and therefore "other".

She relived the painful memories and swallowed heavily.

Nadia stirred next to her and Lauren automatically adjusted her body to accommodate the shifting body. She watched Nadia sleep for a while, allowing her mind to be distracted by Nadia's relaxed features. This was an old habit now, watching her girlfriend sleep. Before the coma, she had indulged in this activity rarely. Maybe in the beginning of their relationship, when everything was new and seemed too good-to-be-true; but then later on, she had been too tired from work or from love and there had been no time to watch her sleep.

And then when Nadia fell into the coma, it was the only thing Lauren could do. She watched her sleep and hoped she had good dreams even as she prayed for a miracle to come and wake her up.

Now, she noticed the differences. Nadia in the coma had been too still, too blank. Like a body frozen in time (which was probably accurate, considering she was in magical stasis). This Nadia made faces in her sleep and grumbled and snored at times. She was alive and beautiful and it broke Lauren's heart to know that it wasn't enough. Not anymore.

xxx

The next day was awkward. It was almost morning when Lauren had finally fallen asleep and when she woke up, Nadia was already up, eating breakfast from a delivered cart and watching the news on TV.

"Hey there. Good morning sleepy," Nadia greeted with a small forced smile, upon seeing her moving to the bathroom.

"Morning." Lauren forced her own small grin but didn't stop to chat.

"I saved you some bagel and eggs." Lauren heard Nadia say as she turned the shower on.

"Thanks!" she yelled back before proceeding to take a bath.

The rest of the day was the same. They agreed to go out and spent the whole day checking out the various attractions available. They didn't mention the disagreement from yesterday but it was there nevertheless, behind every action, a lingering tension that persisted despite their best attempts to act normal and be happy.

When they fell to bed that night, Lauren only murmured "Good night" and Nadia pecked her gently on the lips with her own "Sweet dreams."

xxx

On their third day, it rained heavily. Unfortunately, this left them stuck in the hotel and what amenities it offered was already explored yesterday.

They eventually decided on a movie marathon which turned out to be a pleasant activity for both of them, as Lauren had not kept up with the entertainment industry and was just as surprised as Nadia to find new actors and impressive computer graphics.

After lunch, they tried to go back to the movies but somehow got severely distracted with each other instead. Lauren wasn't sure how it started but one moment she was commenting that Angelina Jolie looked older and the next, she was halfway naked and struggling to remove Nadia's pants.

The rest of the afternoon and the evening was spent in furious lovemaking. All of a sudden, it felt like she was burning and the only way to assuage the heat was to have Nadia's skin against hers, to taste her mouth and hear her gasping moans.

They had already slept together but this was different than anything they've done, even before the coma. They were too greedy for the other and instead of satisfaction, every encounter only seemed to increase the longing and the need. They couldn't get enough and so they came together again and again, until exhaustion forced them apart.

xxx

Lauren woke up suddenly. She didn't know when she fell asleep but she could feel the soreness of her body and remembered how she had spent the entire day. Before she could even groan at the thought, she heard someone crying and realized that it was the sound that woke her up.

Turning quickly (and ignoring her screaming muscles), she saw Nadia's smooth back shaking with stifled sobs. "Nadia?" Lauren asked, worry and concern driving everything else from her mind. Her hand was already up before she could think about it and began to stroke her girlfriend's shoulder in comfort. "What is it?"

Nadia tensed up under her touch but she turned wiping her eyes quickly. "Hey," she said, her voice thick with the tears she couldn't fully hide. "Did I wake you? I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. What's wrong?" Lauren asked and scooted closer to offer a hug. But Nadia flinched from her and Lauren froze in place, hurt by that reaction. Her mind ignored the sting in her heart and tried instead to think of reasons for the rejection. "What is it? Are you okay?"

Nadia shook her head and said, "I'm okay," before coming closer to complete the aborted hug. "I'm sorry."

Lauren relaxed a little at the feel of Nadia's body pressed against hers but she knew that something was still wrong. "Why were you crying?" she asked, wiping at the lingering wetness on Nadia's cheeks. She watched her girlfriend closely and saw her hesitate. Lauren thought she would lie to her but Nadia stunned her when she said, "Why does this feel like goodbye?"

"I...I don't..." Lauren struggled but she suddenly realized she couldn't deny Nadia's words. The desperate undertone of their actions earlier did seem like a preparation to part ways as they each tried to take their fill of the other's presence.

Nadia's face fell at Lauren's stuttering and she turned away, sitting up to lean on the bed's headboard. Lauren followed quickly and shivered a little when the cool night air hit her naked torso. "Babe? What are you thinking of?" Lauren asked anxiously.

"That I don't want to say goodbye."

"You don't have to. This isn't... goodbye," Lauren said, trying her hard to reassure the other woman even though her own doubts were beginning to overwhelm her.

"But it is." Nadia faced her with sad eyes. "You're not leaving the fae and I'm not staying in their world. There's no place for us together so we have to," she broke off to stifle a sob of anguish but when Lauren tried to comfort her, Nadia put a firm hand out to stop her. "We can't be together."

"We can!" Lauren was panicking and her heart ached to see how broken her girlfriend looked. "We can be together. I'll go with you. We'll leave the fae behind and I'll find a job in research, or maybe in a hospital, just like before..." She spoke faster, as though she could outrun their doubts and convince both of them that what she was saying was possible.

"No."

"No? No, what?" Lauren asked in confusion.

"No, we can't..."

"We can...!" Lauren tried to interrupt but Nadia spoke over her anyway.

"...because I don't want you to come anymore."

Confused and getting angry now, Lauren scoffed. "That's not what you said two days ago."

Nadia nodded, her face grim. "I know. But I've changed my mind."

"Just like that?" Lauren trembled and forced herself not to leave the bed and walk away from this conversation. "You begged me to choose you and now that I have, you don't want me anymore? I don't understand." Her tone became pleading. "Why are you doing this, Nadia?"

She saw her girlfriend's face crumple again as though she wanted to cry but Nadia gathered her composure back and said, "Because I'm selfish."

"What?" Lauren ran a shaky hand through her hair and pulled a little, the brief ache in her scalp distracting her from the cryptic words she wasn't up to handling now. "I still don't understand."

Nadia looked hurt but determined at the same time. She took a deep breath and slowly released it. "I am selfish because I want my Lauren to come with me. Not you."

"I'm... still me?" Lauren ventured, more than confused. A stray thought niggled from the back of her brain.

Nadia shook her head. "No, you're not. You're not my Lauren anymore and..." She began to cry silently. "I want her back. I want my Lauren back."

Lauren swallowed heavily, as she suddenly understood what Nadia was trying to say. "That's... I'm still here, Nadia. The Lauren... your Lauren, she's still in here." She touched her heart. "She's in me and I'm still her, with just a little differences." She tried to gather Nadia in her arms, unable to bear her crying but Nadia resisted, moving away from the bed. Lauren watched her get dressed and accepted the clothes that Nadia threw her way, putting them on quickly.

"Nadia..." Lauren tried to follow but Nadia stopped her again.

"No, you don't understand. I want my Lauren back. The one I know and love from five years ago. I want her with me and I can't. I can't have her anymore!"

"I am here! I can be her! If you give me time, if we go away, I'll be that Lauren...!" Lauren cut herself short in frustration as she watched Nadia shake her head again. "Please, Nadia."

Nadia hugged herself tightly and bravely looked at Lauren again. "It's not the same. I know, I know that you love me but you... somehow, you have come to love the fae too. And that's why you can't be my Lauren because she's not torn in two like you are."

"Please don't leave me, Nadia," Lauren begged, as she too began to cry.

"I can't build a life with you, knowing that parts of you will be forever lost to me because the fae has them. You see? That's why I'm selfish. I want all of you. I want it to be like five years ago when my Lauren would never have hesitated to choose me against everything else." Nadia smiled sadly at her next words. "Unless you can tell me that there's some kind of magic to go back in time and stop all this from happening, I don't see a way for us to move forward together."

Lauren sobbed quietly, staring sadly at her (ex)girlfriend. "Please," she tried again.

A brief silence fell between them, broken only by the quiet gasping as they both cried in heartbreak. Lauren wanted to beg some more but she could see from Nadia's expression, pain-filled as it was, that she wouldn't be swayed from her decision.

"Who is Bo?" Nadia asked out of the blue.

The sudden shift in the topic threw Lauren and the succubus' name only added to the ache in her heart. "Bo? What does she have to do..." She didn't want to talk about the succubus now. (In this moment, Lauren could have wished that she had never met the succubus if only Nadia would stay with her.)

"Who is she?" Nadia persisted.

"You know already. I told you..." Lauren was growing frustrated again and began to pace.

"...that she's a co-worker," Nadia finished. "But she isn't just a co-worker, right? She's your friend."

"Okay, fine she's my friend. So what?" Irritation laced her voice as Lauren struggled to find solace in anger instead of the sadness that was threatening to drown her. "I can't have friends?"

Nadia refused to be baited and continued to look at her with an unknown glint in her eyes. "You like her?"

Lauren glared at her. "Of course! How can she be my friend if I don't like her?" she asked sarcastically.

"Did you have sex with her?"

The question was like instant glue that suddenly held her feet still. Lauren almost tumbled from her abrupt stopping. "What?"

Nadia's face crumpled again in tears. "You did." She knew it. She wished she didn't.

"Nadia..." Lauren began, about to deny everything and comfort her girlfriend but something stopped her. Bo didn't belong in this conversation but Nadia brought her up. She didn't know why, couldn't even guess to Nadia's reasons. Lauren just knew that something in her had begun to give up and told her there was no merit in lying about it. If Nadia was leaving her anyway...

"I... yes, I did," she finally admitted.

Lauren watched Nadia cry for a second before she decided to tell the whole sob story. In halting words, she began to explain how her life began with the fae (the truth she never wanted Nadia to know): the constant fear for Nadia's life, the oppressive surroundings of a different culture and the spirit-crushing loneliness that plagued her for years. Lauren tried to explain how she had sex with four different women (Bo included) to regain some of her humanity back and in that most basic action of being touched intimately, she was able to reaffirm that she was alive and not a zombie going through the motions.

As she explained, Lauren broke down, remembering the despair, shame and guilt for _cheating_, for being too weak to succumb in temptation. "I'm so sorry Nadia, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, please forgive me..."

Nadia shushed her gently, her own tears transforming from the sadness of betrayal to those of sympathy. "Shh, it's okay, Lauren." She gathered the doctor into her arms and led them to sit on the edge of the bed. She waited until Lauren had calmed down a bit before she spoke up. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that and... I'm not angry with you. I don't blame you for what you did."

"How can you even..."

"It's hard," Nadia bit out. "It's so hard to think of you in another woman's arms but I'm glad too that you found some comfort in them, even if it was just temporary." She paused to look directly in Lauren's eyes. "Mostly, I just hate that I wasn't there for you. That you had to suffer all of that because of me."

Lauren tried to deny that blame again but Nadia stopped her. "I know. Put it behind us in the past. So, just know that I forgive you for sleeping with other people if you forgive me for not being there for you."

"Doesn't seem fair," Lauren commented, her voice still wobbly. "It wasn't your fault you were in a coma."

Nadia could have pointed out the shaman thing again but she left that circular argument for now. Instead she said, "Bo was different though?"

Lauren groaned in frustration and pulled away from Nadia's loose embrace. "That again?"

"She's special unlike those other women you slept with," Nadia kept on.

"Will you give it a rest? Bo has nothing to do with us!" It was a bald face lie but only Lauren knew what Bo really meant to her and Nadia didn't. Lauren didn't want her to know and use Bo to justify their break-up.

"I've seen you with her twice and I've heard you talk about her a couple of times. She's more than just a friend or a one-time lover, right?" Nadia didn't wait for Lauren's answer. "You were a little tense whenever we came to her place but you have this smile in your face when you talk to her. And when you talk about her, you look just a little distracted." Nadia smiled wistfully. "I know you, Lauren. You're right when you said that you're still the Lauren from five years ago, because I can still see her in you. That's why I know that Bo is in your heart whether you want to admit it or not."

Lauren was stunned and awed by the comfortable warmth that coursed through her when she realized that Nadia still saw and understood her clearly. She tried to concentrate on that, and ignored the part about Bo. "After all this time, you were the only one who knew me, Nadia. You always manage to see past the mask I face the world with," Lauren paused at this, acknowledging that no one in her life right now truly got her. Even Bo had her own bias against Lauren. "and you're the only one who didn't judge me for it." She took Nadia's hands and brought it to her lips, "I don't want you to go, please. I love you Nadia."

Nadia stepped closer and gave Lauren a fleeting kiss. "I love you too. I love you so much and this is why I have to let you go."

"No, Nadia please. I'll do anything you want, be anything, please don't leave me."

Nadia pulled her hands away from Lauren's grip and took a step back. "I can't. Don't ask me that, Lauren. I refuse to share you with anyone." She sighed. "This is for the best. We..."

"How can you say it's for the best when you only made your decision after two days? Why can't you give us more time and the chance to try. We can try, Nadia! There's no hurry!"

"Stop it! I can't, okay! I can't stay in that world for more than a second. The thought of living with them, of you interacting with them... it makes my skin crawl in disgust. Logically, I know that not all fae could be like that shaman but it doesn't matter because I can't stop thinking about it! He's tainted everything, he's tainted you and I don't want you, even though I still love you... Fuck!" Nadia stormed away and barely stopped herself from smashing something. She turned to face Lauren again and admitted, "This is not easy for me and I don't, I really don't want to let you go but I _have_ to. I have to."

Lauren slumped on the bed, cradling her head in her in despair. What could she say to that? Why try, even? There was no way for her to get what she wanted.

"Lauren..." Nadia had come closer and began to run her hand on Lauren's hair in comfort.

Lauren looked up and Nadia's hand moved to cup her jaw. "Nadia... I..."

Nadia gave her a watery smile. "Be happy okay? From what you told me, you weren't too happy with the fae in the beginning. And then Bo came..." Lauren stiffened but Nadia continued, still smiling gently. "Just, do what makes you happy. Now that you don't have to worry about me anymore, I want you to live your life fully, even if I'm not in it." She paused. "Maybe Bo could help with that."

Lauren choked down a sob and tried to return the smile. "I don't deserve you. How can you even think of me right now or try to match me up with someone else?"

"It hurts," Nadia admitted. "But it helps when I think that you're not my Lauren. I just know that my Lauren would never have...been so conflicted." She shrugged. "It's a technicality but it's still a consolation."

Lauren let the residual hurt of that matter-of-fact statement wash over her and accepted the truth in the words. Two, three years ago, the fae wouldn't have mattered and she would have happily left them for Nadia. But that wouldn't hold true today, no matter how much she tried to deny it. Nadia wouldn't let her hide from herself and parts of Lauren were grateful to her for it.

"I'm sorry. I love you." It was the only thing left she could offer.

Nadia bent over and kissed her one last time. "Love you too. Love you always."

xxx

They didn't speak more that night but cuddled in bed until they fell asleep. In the morning, the atmosphere was sad but tinged with relief. It was like a weight was removed from their chests and they were able to interact naturally again.

They had a quick breakfast where Nadia suggested that they check out early. She decided to head to her parents home nearby and Lauren was left to go home. They thought it best to keep in contact via e-mail for now and later, maybe they could meet again.

Lauren warned her not to reveal anything about the fae while Nadia asked her to be careful. And then they said goodbye.

* * *

><p>AN2:

Okay, so I apologize if this feels a bit ham-fisted of me to try and push Nadia out of the way. I hope that the chapter above was convincing and uh, "realistic" enough to justify her departure. The reason I did that (aside from being a Bo/Lauren fan) was because I really, really felt bad about the circumstances of her death in the show, for her and Lauren. I felt that they didn't deserve that ending (especially Lauren) and it was needlessly cruel. As much as I love to put Lauren through the wringer, that was just a bit too much for me. Besides, Nadia's death in the show was only supposed to show us the Garuda's powers of body possession - that's what I think anyway. And in the end, it didn't seem to matter much as they didn't show how much the Garuda actually learned about the Light Fae and Bo via Nadia's eyes.

Anyway, enough about that. After this, I'll be pretty much following canon again with a few alterations to fill the holes in Nadia's absence. The rest like the Dyson's broodiness and the Grand Battle will remain unchanged.

Hoped you enjoyed this chapter.

Cheers, rabastan04


	30. Homecoming

A/N: Hey there, I'm really glad (and relieved) that the last chapter was very well received! As always, thanks for the support and I appreciate all those who took the time to comment.

This chapter takes place near the end of the Table for Fae episode. Still no Bo/Lauren interaction but a bit more angst for Lauren (the poor woman never gets a break, I know). Anyway, this was un-betaed so please forgive the errors and awkward phrasing at times.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>42<p>

The drive home seemed to take forever and yet it also felt over in a blink of an eye. Lauren alternated the time either numbed with grief or slightly guilty with the burgeoning sense of freedom she could feel inside her chest.

It was late when she got back to Toronto and her first destination was Bo's house. She hadn't really planned on it but throughout her journey, thoughts of Bo would come upon Lauren. She pushed them away every time but the succubus was there in her mind (her heart) whether she wanted it or not. And now Lauren is coming to see her.

She stopped the car nearby and took a chance to gather her composure before facing Bo. Lauren didn't know yet what she would say to the succubus but it was important to her that she wouldn't appear weak to cause Bo any concern. It took a couple of minutes (and a frantic checking of the rear view mirror to see if her eyes were red and swollen from all the recent crying) before Lauren stepped out of the car, only to stop dead at the scene that played out in front of her.

Lauren had stopped Bo's car at a considerable distance and at some point, a truck had parked behind her, hiding the small, yellow car from direct view of Bo's doorstep. It also served to hide Lauren's view of Bo's house and she saw with surprise, that a smart, black car had stopped in front. She watched a handsome, familiar-looking man come out, followed closely by Bo herself coming from the front passenger seat. Lauren had smiled reflexively upon seeing the succubus but before she could catch their attention, the man had rounded the car to grab the succubus to his chest in a passionate kiss.

Lauren drew in a sharp breath and held it in as she watched to her horror, Bo accept and return the kiss. The pain in her chest blossomed further when she saw them part and Bo giggling with obvious fondness at what the man had said. She stood there, watching silently until the couple entered the house (still groping and exchanging kisses) and were lost to her view.

Without conscious thought, her body returned to the car and began driving. It was only when she had gotten back to the compound did Lauren's mind snap back into place. Bo was seeing someone else.

No.

As she walked towards her room, greeted by passing fae, Lauren's brain immediately began to defend that erroneous thought. She had no idea if Bo was really seeing that man seriously or in a food-type capacity but it didn't matter because that was none of her business. Bo was free to live her life, and she was in no way bound to remain single just because Lauren had been gone for the last four days. She was free to move on to anybody and Lauren had no cause to feel bad about it.

But she still did. As soon as she reached her apartment, Lauren's legs gave out completely and she only managed to lean against the door to sag down instead of totally collapsing to the floor. She made a strangled sobbing noise before she clamped her mouth firmly under her hand and poured all her strength on not breaking down. She concentrated on her breathing: in, out, in, out and after what seemed like hours, she found her control returning and the badly burning sensation in her chest began to dissipate.

Although she had tried not to think of Bo after she had parted with Nadia, Lauren couldn't help but ponder on what she could have with the succubus, now that her former girlfriend was out of the question. It made her feel too guilty and hopeful at the same time, a painful combination as she discovered, and so she had tried her hardest to push the thoughts of the succubus away.

And yet, now that she had seen how Bo had seemingly moved on (none of her business!, her brain insisted) , she couldn't help feeling hurt as well.

It was an impossible situation, Lauren decided, after picking herself up off the floor. But then again, at this point, she should already be used to dealing with these bombs that life insisted on handing her: her girlfriend's magical coma, the fae, her feelings for Bo - all these things and she had managed to get through them hadn't she? She had survived them all and, feeling a bit better now, Lauren promised herself that she would survive this situation too.

The important thing right now was to take a bath and unpack her stuff from Bo's car.

xxx

The first thing Lauren did after her bath was to take her luggage from Bo's car and unpack. Afterwards, she headed straight to the lab and immediately checked her personal console. For a brief second, utter panic grasped her entire being as she stared at Nadia's empty pod, before she remembered _that no, of course she wouldn't be there, Nadia's gone back to her family_.

While her heart struggled to relax back to its normal rhythm, Lauren checked her email account instead and as she had suspected, saw Nadia's brief note informing her that she had reached her family safely and that everything was okay. Saddened but relieved, Lauren promptly fired off a reply of her own safe journey (with a slight joke about gas inhalation) and once again wished Nadia well and to take care always.

Then she sent another email to the Ash, to inform him of his return.

She stayed at her office for an hour or so, re-familiarizing herself with the reports done in her absence before calling it a night. She went back to her room, feeling doubly exhausted despite doing virtually no work and allowed herself to sink into sleep without further introspection.

xxx

In the morning, she found a reply from the Ash arranging to have a meeting later in the afternoon. She panicked again at seeing the empty pod from her monitor but got over it more quickly this time. (It was an ingrained habit to check on Nadia's condition at least twice a day and since the woman's recovery, Lauren realized that they had never been parted company. That way, she never had to fear that Nadia was back in the pod and the habit of checking in on her was temporarily broken. It was obviously asserting itself now and she imagined, would take a while before it was completely broken out of her system.)

Lauren debated on whether to head back to the lab again but instead decided to go back to Bo's house and return her car. It wasn't bravery driving her, but mostly Lauren's determination to deal with this awkward, uncertain feeling inside her and find some sort of resolution. She thought that maybe by confronting Bo now, she would feel less conflicted later. That was what she hoped anyway.

Unfortunately for the doctor, Bo was apparently out, even with the early morning hour and only a (surprisingly) awake and bubbly Kenzi was there to greet her.

"Doc! You're back too! How's it hanging?"

Lauren smiled at the goth girl. "I'm good Kenzi. How are you?" She stepped inside and without waiting for the girl to reply, spoke again. "What do you mean, I'm back too? And is Bo in? I didn't mean to come so early."

"S'fine, doc. Bo's not here though, I just checked." Lauren saw the girl's face darken at that but Kenzi's features shifted again to a lighthearted mien. "Anyway, I just meant that I went on a vacation too. With Nate. I'm sure you remember him from Bo's party?"

Lauren felt a bit confused at Kenzi's swinging moods but decided to just go on with the flow. She nodded. "I do. That guitar player. He was quite good, I thought."

The goth girl beamed at that. "He's the greatest. He got offered a gig at Kingston and asked me to come with." Kenzi shrugged, although she was still smiling. "It didn't pan out so we came back early but it was a fun trip anyway."

"That's good. I'm glad you had a nice time."

"Yeah," Kenzi stopped and turned to face her fully. "How about you? Heard you went on a trip of your own with Nadia. How is she?"

Lauren was a little surprised to see that there was no animosity in Kenzi's face, only genuine curiosity. But she was more surprised with her vague answer. "She's fine. She's at home."

On the way here, she never considered what to tell Bo about Nadia (an oversight on her part) but it seemed that she wasn't ready to deal with any of those issues right now. Lauren could only imagine the pity on the succubus' face should she learn that Nadia had left her behind (discarded her) after knowing her involvement with the fae.

No. It was better to hide her "single" status for now, from everybody.

Kenzi only nodded and so Lauren continued. "Uh, well, I really just came by to return the car." She began to turn away, "I'll just see Bo another time then. Bye Kenzi."

To her confusion, the girl followed her out. "I'll walk you out then."

They stopped by the yellow car when Kenzi noticed something odd. "Hey, did you bring this to a car wash?" Before Lauren could answer, the girl was already pulling the doors open and checking out the inside. "You cleaned the inside too?"

Slightly flushing under the girl's incredulous look, Lauren tried to defend herself. "There wasn't anything on TV," she joked and then continued, "Just...I had nothing to do whenever we had to stop and let the engine rest! It's not a big deal."

Kenzi just shook her head, "You're something else, doc." She glanced at the car and back to Lauren, "Hey, I can drop you off back the compound if you want. Save you a cab ride."

Lauren hesitated. This friendliness from the other human was making her just a little paranoid. She and Kenzi were at most, professional acquaintances. They understood the other's importance to Bo but otherwise they stayed away from each other.

But still, she wouldn't turn down a friendly offer from Kenzi. She may not understand the goth girl most of the time but Lauren knew that her heart was in the right place. She nodded. "Okay, thanks."

"No problem." Kenzi went back to grab the car keys and lock the house. When she got in the driver's seat, Lauren heard her mutter, "You filled the gas tank too."

"It's only polite, Kenzi," Lauren said.

"I bet when you got it, it was near empty though," Kenzi argued back, at which Lauren was forced to concede the point. She had to fill the tank before they got out of Toronto.

For a while, there was only silence between the two humans, punctuated only by the music from the radio. After some time, Kenzi deliberately turned off the music and began to speak.

"So, what can you tell me about fae deals?" she tried to ask nonchalantly, "Just curious about it. You know, like is it true that they ask for first born children and stuff or is that just the Disney version?"

It only dawned on Lauren that part of Kenzi's earlier cheerfulness was hiding this nervous tension that surrounded her now. Despite her careless attitude, something was bothering the goth girl and she had chosen to share some of it to her. Lauren felt absurdly touched and honored by the trust.

She knew though, that Kenzi wouldn't appreciate her concern so she tried to be objective instead, "You mean dealing with humans? Not with other fae?"

"Yeah, that. Why? Is there a different protocol?" Kenzi asked, now a note of true curiosity entering her voice.

"In some ways, yes. But usually it is not unlike human dealing. Fae deals tend to be straight forward and simple. And like human dealing, they are not above trying to get the better deal for themselves."

Despite her cool tone, Lauren still noticed Kenzi tensing beside her. "Oh?"

Deciding that she couldn't lose anything if she tried, Lauren didn't bother hiding her concern anymore. "Did you make a deal with a fae, Kenzi?"

Kenzi paled and then reddened, looking angry for a brief second, before she deflated and just looked like a sulky teenager. A very worried, sulky teenager. "Yeah," she admitted.

And then she tried to defend herself, before Lauren could even comment. "But it was totally necessary too!" At that, the whole story about Ryan and Nate and the disastrous lunch came pouring out of the tiny human. Lauren listened patiently and didn't interrupt until she was sure that Kenzi had temporarily run out of things to say.

Lauren planned to warn Kenzi about the Morrigan but when she did speak, she found herself saying something else. "Ryan Lambert?"

"Yeah," Kenzi turned to face her quickly, calculating and wary, before turning her gaze back on the road. "You know him?" Maybe she thought Lauren would say something about Bo's new relationship, but the doctor had another concern.

That's why the man looked familiar, Lauren thought. She absently nodded and murmured, "He's Dark fae and... a bit famous. Or rather infamous, with the Light fae."

"Oh great. Lemme guess, manwhore rumours?" Kenzi asked sarcastically.

Lauren fought not to snort gracelessly at that. "Yes, but not only that. He had dealings with the Ash before."

Kenzi frowned. "He could do that? I thought Light and Dark fae can't mingle because it's against the law and stuff."

Lauren shook her head. "Yes, that's right. But the leaders of each clan get... certain exceptions due to their position. And Lambert's services were valuable enough to bend the rules."

"The Morri-biatch doesn't care?" Kenzi asked with disbelief.

"I imagine she gets a cut from whatever deals Lambert arranges with the Ash," Lauren answered. She turned to face Kenzi, "But that isn't what I wanted to discuss. Kenzi, you... this is dangerous. I understand that at the time you felt that you didn't have a choice left but from what I gathered, you just gave the Morrigan virtual freedom to demand anything of you in the future."

Kenzi glared at her impatiently. "Do you think I don't know that, Lauren? It's stupid, I get it. But like you said, I had a reason. A damn good reason to make that devil deal."

Lauren sighed. "I know. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I just know what it's like to deal with a fae and I... worry for you. I made sure to read the fine print on mine," and the Ash still found a loophole, Lauren's mind filled in although she didn't say that part out loud, "but yours is too broad and there's so many ways for things to go bad."

"That's why I asked you," Kenzi admitted in a soft voice. "I knew you'd understand."

They fell silent for a while before Kenzi spoke again, sounding a bit more confident. "But Bo said she'd take care of it. That's why she wasn't home. She went to set Ryan straight and maybe the Morrigan too. She was really angry when I told her about it and I'm just glad that she's got my back..." her voice petered out as Kenzi realized the hidden implication in her words: _She had Bo but Lauren had no one_.

"I...I didn't mean..." Kenzi stuttered, really embarrassed now. She didn't see eye to eye with the doctor on many things and more than often, she didn't care if she hurt Lauren's feelings but this was different. It felt like she had finally crossed a line.

"It's okay, Kenzi. I'm not upset," Lauren said reassuringly. That was a lie but what use was there in showing her real feelings?

It's not like it would change anything. It was only the truth that while Lauren had no one to defend or even guide her with the fae, this goth girl beside her would not only have the succubus' protection but she was sure, Trick's, Dyson's and Hale's as well. Even if they couldn't ultimately help, they would still try and they would be there to support her. Lauren couldn't begrudge the girl that.

Seeing that they have arrived at the compound, she gave Kenzi a quick smile and began to disembark. "Thanks for the ride, Kenzi. I hope I helped a little with your problem."

Kenzi gave a hesitant smile back and nodded. "Yeah, thanks Doc. It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," Lauren said, and realized that she meant it too. Even without Nadia and the added complications of her painful feelings for Bo, she was glad to be home.

xxx

The Ash had smiled genuinely at Lauren upon her arrival at his office. She was surprised by his mood (and it reminded her again how little she knew of this Ash, compared to the former one whom she'd made a priority to understand - well enough that she could read the minute changes of his facial expression.) but she returned the gesture with a respectful nod of her own.

"Dr. Lewis, welcome back," he clasped his hands in front of him and looked at her contemplatively from behind his desk, "I admit though, I believed you weren't due for a couple days yet. I hope you don't feel as if you have to return so soon?"

"No," Lauren shook her head, "It's not that. I just, I didn't see the point of extending my vacation."

Lachlan's eyes narrowed, "Does this have something to do with the fact that Nadia did not come back with you?"

Lauren straightened up and forced herself to face him confidently, despite the pain that had begun to run through her at the mention of her ex-girlfriend's name. "We talked about it and Nadia… she felt that she didn't know me anymore. She wanted to spend some time apart and I agreed. We, no... I am different now and we couldn't just pick up where we left off. Don't worry, she doesn't know anything about the fae to compromise our safety."

Lachlan gave her a hard stare before turning away. He took a deep breath and visibly relaxed. "Then I have no problem with that. I trust your judgement, Lauren."

Lauren fought not to remark on that and waited patiently instead.

"But that's not why I called you here," Lachlan continued. "There's something else, an important issue that we need to address…"

"I think I can guess what it is," Lauren cut in, surprising Lachlan.

He raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Oh, really? Then would you mind telling me your guess, doctor?" he said in a clear challenge.

This time, Lauren had to fight not to smirk. She had gotten the impression that Lachlan hadn't been too impressed with her ever since becoming the Ash and that he underestimated her skills. (Lauren couldn't blame him really, she hadn't been at her top form these past months what with all the distractions in her personal life.) After all this time, it was galling to be thought of as nothing more than a "slightly-more-intelligent-but-also-hysterical" doctor (which she had been), especially since she prided her intellect the most.

It was gratifying to prove him otherwise, now. "I formulated a theory based on the accumulated findings before…"

"Ah yes, your theory. I recall that you tried to bargain with me in exchange for knowledge to save your girlfriend," he looked at her curiously, "And yet, you couldn't even keep her for more than three weeks."

The jerk. Lauren glared at him, jaws and fists clenching at the effort of keeping her temper in. "That's no longer relevant," Lauren stated icily, "Are you interested in my theory or not?"

He waved a negligent hand, "Go on."

"I've discovered a trend in the bodies I've examined. At initial look, none of the cases have correlation with each other: the variety of species, location, cause of death etc. And yet upon further study, almost all of them show signs of stress that I concluded would have occurred at least a week or two before death. Adrenaline spikes, decrease of serotonin… couple that with the way they died, it all lead to an interesting conclusion."

"And that is?" he frowned.

"Something must've influenced them, made them aggressive and… mindless in their rage, they eventually died in violence. I'm just not sure what could cause such a reaction. Even the fae that traditionally feed off of anger would not be able to do such a thing, affect that many fae, in such a short time. Either this was done deliberately, for malice instead of natural feeding, or as an accident - a result of loss of control."

Lachlan was silent for a moment as he contemplated Lauren. Finally, he stood up and walked towards her until they were face to face. "An excellent theory, doctor. Full marks for everything, except you failed to go further and reach the proper conclusion."

Lauren hesitated, "You know what's causing these attacks?"

"Hm," Lachlan began to pace, "Know? Yes. I know exactly what's responsible for these deaths."

"Then…?"

"I wonder…" he began to muse, and stopped to look at Lauren curiously, "Does your knowledge stretch so far? Do you know of the Garuda?"

For a moment, Lauren was stumped but after a while, she began to work it out. "Yes, I am familiar with that name. The Eagle-King, and something to do with fire. I thought at first they were the same as a Phoenix," she furrowed her brow in thought, "But from what I remember, they're extinct now, aren't they?"

Lachlan took a deep breath. "I'm surprised that you even know that much." He began to pace again. "And no, they're not extinct. They merely went into hiding. After the war between the clans ended, they had lain hidden, weakened by the loss of their main source of food."

Lauren could imagine how the aggression generated by the fae wars had fueled the garudas and then later, the effects of its loss. She wasn't sure how they fed exactly and how much they needed to survive but if a war was their normal bounty, then they must be starving by now. Some might've already died from hunger.

And then something else occurred to Lauren. "You're a naga." When she'd first discovered Lachlan's species, she had been interested but only because nagas were rare, even in fae standards. (In the complicated mechanics of fae breeding where two different species can sometimes create a whole other species of fae, this has become problematic. Unlike say, wolves, whose genes are dominant - if one parent is a wolf, there is a 70% chance that the offspring would also be a wolf - a naga rarely produces a naga offspring if the other parent is a different kind of fae. But then again, she was curious to know if that would still be the result, should the other parent be of the snake species variety.)

Lauren was jolted out her thoughts by Lachlan's terse reply.

"Yes. And before you ask, yes. I have hunted the garudas all my life, and as I killed them, so too have I lost my brothers to their deadly flames. It has been some time though. As far as I know, there is only one garuda left and he has hidden himself cleverly for all these centuries that I began to think he had already died or given up."

"But he's back," Lauren said, stating the obvious, "Why?"

"I don't know," Lachlan said, frustrated. "But I know that it is bad because he's no longer hiding himself. He… I don't understand him, after all this time, I thought I did… " Lauren watched him run his hand across his face in desperate confusion as he continued, "I don't even know how he became so powerful to affect so many. He should be starving and weak! … I just, I fear that simple chaos is not his only goal."

Lauren waited for him to formulate his thoughts, somewhat fascinated by this side of Lachlan. In this moment, he seemed so genuine… so _human_ in his fears and concerns that he was allowing her to see.

"I think he wants war to break out once again, but this time he won't be hiding in the shadows to silently feed from others' misery. I think this time he wants to be in control... make himself king of all fae."


	31. Back to Normal

A/N: So sorry this took so long to post. I've been very distracted by Mass Effect 3 and have no other excuse for my tardiness. I actually finished the "School's Out" episode part, like 2 weeks ago but I thought it was too short to post on its own so I decided to cram two episodes in this chapter and worked on "The Girl who Fae'd with Fire" episode. Unfortunately, that part was a bit problematic. Now that there's essentially no more obstacle for Bo and Lauren to get together (Ryan is so minor an obstacle, he doesn't count), I couldn't get my head around that mindset. I was so used to them being angsty and Lauren having these "hidden, forbidden type" feelings that I kinda forgot how not to write that way anymore.

Anyway, I'm working on it and hope to post a bit faster next time.

Also, a bit of a good news: I think there's only 5 chapters left in this story. We're up to episode 17 already and I'm a bit excited to finally put this baby to rest. I just hope that ff. net won't remove it soon.

Thanks as always for your comments. I appreciate every single one of them.

Now, onto the story. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>43<p>

Bo's face upon opening the door and seeing her standing there was almost worth every moment of heartache she had endured this past week, Lauren thought.

That bright, happy smile, as if the succubus had missed her as much as she had missed Bo and then the warm, full body hug that followed made Lauren want to melt in contentment. She never wanted to let go because she was finally home, in these arms that held her so tightly, so preciously.

But Bo had stepped back already and Lauren had to contain her emotions again. "Lauren, you're back!"

"Yes."

"I saw that you dropped the car off. I'm sorry I wasn't here yesterday," Bo said, taking her hand to drag her gently towards the living area. "But I'm glad you came by today."

"I wanted to thank you again..." Lauren began but Bo interrupted her.

"It's not a problem. Kenzi told me that you cleaned the car and even filled up the tank... I'm sorry it's such a crappy ride." Bo said, flushing slightly with embarrassment.

Lauren gave her a fond smile. "It's okay Bo. It _was_ a gas guzzler, but I really appreciate you lending us your car without notice."

"Hm," Bo said, sitting down on the sofa and gesturing for Lauren to sit beside her. "Where's Nadia?"

This time, Lauren was conscious of her vague answer.

"At home."

She knew that she had promised not to keep things from Bo anymore but that was because of misguided attempts to protect her. This was for Lauren's protection and she couldn't (didn't want to) deal with the effects of her breakup on her relationship with Bo. Not yet at least.

Bo's smile dimmed a little but she only gave a short nod before moving on. "How's the vacation? Did you, uh, you guys have fun?"

Lauren almost made a face at that but controlled herself in time. Fun was the last word she would use to describe that vacation. For a moment, the urge to tell everything that had happened almost overwhelmed her but she managed to hung on to her wayward tongue and instead gave a small shrug and smile. "The lake was beautiful."

Bo looked a bit exasperated at her answer but before she could ask for more, there was a knock on the door and the succubus only shot her a "we'll talk more about this later" look before getting up to check on her visitor.

It was Dyson. He looked a bit surprised to see Lauren but he only said, "Am I interrupting anything?"

"No."

"Of course not."

Bo and Lauren spoke simultaneously. A weird little silence fell before Bo asked, "Why what's up?"

It turned out that Dyson had a case: a teenager had a neurological shut down and was currently in the ICU for treatment. Her doctors believed it was due to a drug but hadn't been able to pinpoint which drug would cause such a baffling reaction. Dyson flagged the file when he got hold of it and the Ash decided that it was worth his time to investigate whether it was fae-related or not.

He in turn came to Bo to ask her to go undercover as a substitute English teacher, at which point Lauren lost a few seconds of the conversation as her brain promptly came up with the image of the succubus in a "sexy, stern" teacher outfit. When she came to, she discreetly tried to check for any accidental drooling on her part and met Dyson's knowing smirk over Bo's shoulder. At which point she decided that retreat was necessary and took the case file with a promise to do an analysis on the mysterious cause of the brain shock.

xxx

It was much later (days later) when the case was finally over, that she and Bo finally got another moment to talk.

Earlier in the day, Bo had come frantically dragging with her a mumbling Kenzi. Lauren understood her concern immediately when she heard the contents of the girl's senseless ramblings.

"Oh no, don't tell me."

"I think Kenzi's been infected by the same thing as the others," Bo confirmed.

Lauren vaguely heard Kenzi saying something about Euclidian geometry (which was truly uncharacteristic coming from the girl in question) and something about Italian food (which was more understandable) while she quickly gathered the experimental medicine she was still working on.

Upon stabbing the injection right on the goth girl's thigh, Kenzi seemed to calm down and Lauren allowed Bo to lead her away.

"What are we going to do? I can practically hear her brain boiling!" Bo asked anxiously.

She had just finished telling Bo of the progress she'd made (what little of it) when the unattended Kenzi proceeded to delete her entire work. Lauren was near despair when the girl began to inform her in a no-nonsense tone that it didn't matter as "it was based on a false hypothesis" and proceeded to explain her new hypothesis (the infectious agent didn't just bind to the DNA through standard transcription factors!).

Although the source of her new inspiration was Kenzi (albeit one with increased brain function), Lauren didn't question it. It made more sense than her earlier theory, and after sending a still worried Bo away (to get her a sample of the original infection), she ran with it immediately.

And while Kenzi still retained her teenage attitude (as evidenced by the occasional, "duh's" and "hello's"), she proved to be a big help until it became clear that she was straining herself again. (It actually disappointed Lauren to lose the goth girl's input because in a weird way it felt like a bonding experience with Kenzi as they both finally managed to speak the same language - however brief a time it was.)

Lauren was forced to sedate her and continue the work until Bo arrived with Simurgh eggs, after which she was finally able to finish the cure.

Now they were waiting for Kenzi to wake up (Lauren was positive that her earlier sedative would be flushed out by the simurgh cure and they only needed to wait a couple of minutes before Kenzi regained consciousness again.) so Bo can take her home to rest properly.

In the meantime, a slightly awkward silence fell between the doctor and the succubus.

Bo had sat beside Kenzi's inert form before she got a bit impatient and started pacing along Lauren's living room.

"I noticed you re-decorated," she said, gesturing to the changes that Nadia had managed to do in their short week together. "Nadia's work?" Bo asked, unconsciously echoing Lauren's thoughts.

Lauren only nodded, not wanting to open that thought for discussion. But Bo continued on, not noticing, or not caring for her subtle evasion. "Where is she, anyway? Nadia? I thought she'd be here by now..."

Lauren forced herself not to react and give hint to her whirling thoughts. "She's with her family for now." Still the truth. She hadn't lied to Bo yet and she hoped she wouldn't have to.

Bo looked surprised. "She went alone? What about you?"

Lauren turned away and began to tidy up her work area, "I'm not very close to them and Nadia needed this time... to be alone with her family." Also true.

_Nice save_, her brain congratulated. Lauren wondered briefly if she was mocking herself now.

"Oh, I see," Bo said, temporarily losing steam. Lauren took that opportunity to turn the conversation away from her.

"How about you? Ryan Lambert, huh?"

And nearly winced. That was the last thing she wanted to say.

Bo looked surprised again, followed by embarrassment, then guilt and anger. Her eyes grew hard and she crossed her arms in front of her chest before she registered the movement and released them back to her sides, trying to appear calm and confident. It didn't work.

"How do you know about that?" her tone of voice suggested that she was trying to control herself, trying not to be defensive.

"I saw you the day I came back," Lauren admitted. "And Kenzi might've talked about it too when I dropped the car off." She saw Bo take a quick glance at her best friend's sleeping form and her body language tightened. Lauren interjected before the succubus could think that the goth girl had talked out of turn, "She didn't just tell me. I told her first that I recognized Lambert when I saw you with him."

Bo relaxed a bit and turned back to Lauren. "He's just a friend. That I'm seeing. It's nothing, just a casual thing. Like a fun, no strings attached kind of deal," she explained uncomfortably until she realized what she was doing and her voice turned hard. "But like I told Dyson, serious or not, it's none of your business either."

Lauren felt a slight sting of pain at that, which she refused to acknowledge. Instead she only nodded. "I know."

Bo didn't seem to know what to do with her acknowledgement and began to pace again. "As everyone has been so fond of mentioning lately, I'm a neutral. I can do what I want, with whomever I want, and nobody can tell me otherwise."

Lauren sighed, her heart heavy. She sat down on her sofa and looked at the agitated succubus. "I understand Bo. I'm not judging you, not really." Bo stopped to look at her, one eyebrow raised as if to ask "Y_ou're not?_"

Lauren continued. "This is actually a good thing for you."

Bo's other eyebrow rose to join the other one near her hairline.

"Even though you have contacts with the Dark, most of your interactions have been with the Light fae," Lauren elaborated. "This is not exactly conducive to forming proper opinions of each clan and you have to be able to do that, without much bias. I know you don't want to choose sides now, but maybe later you'd change your mind..."

"I don't...!" Bo immediately interrupted.

Lauren held up a hand. "I know, Bo. I'm just saying, maybe, in the future. You're still so very young, after all."

Bo sighed and sat down beside her. "It's not a big deal, Lauren. He's just a... he's fun. And yeah, I like him because of that. He's light-hearted and maybe that's a fault, that he never takes things seriously, but I just... I just want easy for a while." She turned to look Lauren in the eye, "He's there when I need him and he doesn't ask for things I can't give."

The pain that coursed through Lauren at that statement made her breathless, but none of that reflected in her face. She only nodded and turned away. When she was able to speak again, she said, "I'm..." What should she say? I'm happy for you? I'm glad that you have him but you don't have to because I'm here right now, finally available for you?

No, she couldn't.

Lauren cleared her throat. "In general, while both clans feed off of and take advantage of humans, the Dark is more cavalier with their approach." When in doubt, stick to what one knows best. Bo seemed befuddled by the abrupt change of the topic to a sociology lesson but Lauren doggedly continued.

"Most faes look at humans as a convenience, there for their food and entertainment but the Light has more rules regarding interactions with humans and more discriminate with how they affect the human population. The Dark has no such strictures and as far as I can tell, they are more hedonistic in nature. This means that they show no respect for their prey and do not distinguish: meaning they could just as easily attack a college student versus a gang member. That's the gist of it, anyway." Lauren said, feeling a bit apologetic on behalf of the Dark fae.

Then she continued, "On the other hand, the Dark fae are arguably more loyal to their clan members, forming tighter relationships with each other unlike with the Light clan. My theory is that, while the stricter rules of the Light allowed for better order, it also introduced a fairly rigid ranking in the families and prevented the familiar bonding from occurring."

Bo blinked a few times when she finished and finally said, "Uh, good to know?"

Lauren refused to blush under that incredulous gaze. Underneath it, she could see that Bo's confusion was turning quickly into amusement and she had that familiar look in her eye whenever she thought Lauren was being cute.

Lauren sighed inwardly. Well, that wasn't her objective when she started the mini-lesson on fae clans but at least Bo was lightening up. She didn't want to see the succubus to look like she did when they were talking about Lambert: trying to be defiant and yet... her eyes only spoke of hurt and defeat.

Bo was right when she said that she could be with anyone she wanted, but more than that, Lauren _actually _understood where she was coming from. Judging by Bo's relationship with her and Dyson, where they had both managed to lie and hurt the succubus (albeit for her protection), Ryan Lambert would have been a welcome change. Not only was he a charming debonair, he was also refreshingly upfront with what he wanted from Bo and there was no emotional baggage between them to drag their spirits down.

How could she begrudge Bo of that?

She couldn't, of course.

Especially since, it was Lauren who left first. She was the one who turned her back against Bo when she chose Nadia over her.

Perhaps one could say that she never had a choice because what decent person would break up with a girlfriend right after they recover from a coma? (A girlfriend where, for her sake, one had allowed herself to be enslaved and used for five years too?)

But that was also an excuse, wasn't it? Lauren had known, long before she found out about the possible solution to Nadia's ailment, that she had fallen in love with Bo. And yet she had allowed herself to hide behind her absent girlfriend, her work, her _humanity_... she had refused to acknowledge her feelings for Bo and chose instead to ignore it and bury it deep inside her. She had been too insecure, and had allowed her worries to overwhelm her. (Falling in love was already scary by itself but add the whole complication of being _Dr. Lauren Lewis, human doctor_ and _Bo Dennis, succubus fae _ - "complicated" became an understatement.)

She knew that Bo felt something for her. As much as Lauren went to great lengths to hold her feelings back, she hadn't been blind to Bo's affection. She just refused to see it clearly because to do so felt like giving up (like going past the point of no return - she thought she'd done well adjusting to the fae but loving Bo was just a bit too far for her comfort.). And she had stopped herself at a great cost to her heart because she had been afraid. Lauren had gotten used to her routine and her locked emotions but Bo had come like a tornado of beautiful chaos shattering her defenses and blowing her logic away. She had been left to scramble away some semblance of order in her life.

She squandered her chance (what little of it she had) when she had it.

And now, what? Lauren could only standby from the sidelines and watch. She could only hope that someday, maybe the universe will give her (them) a break and maybe, finally, everything could fall into place properly and she could be with Bo without guilt dragging her down and no restrictions to shackle her love.

"Just, be careful, okay?" Lauren said, forcefully banishing her depressing thoughts.

Bo was about to frown again but Lauren continued, "I know how you feel about humans and how the fae treats them. If you stay with Ryan, you'll most probably see something you won't agree with and... I don't want you to get hurt, Bo."

Bo reacted immediately, ready to defend Ryan maybe or her own motives. But Lauren noticed the sudden shift in her body language and how Bo's eyes darted away as if remembering a memory. When she turned back to Lauren, she looked just a bit diminished. She opened her mouth to say something but someone else's voice filled the silence.

"Did someone roofie me again?" Kenzi's plaintive question seemed to jolt both women into action. They headed straight towards the still-groggy goth girl and Bo hovered nearby while Lauren checked her vitals.

Before the pair left, Bo turned around and gave Lauren a gentle smile. "Thanks again, Lauren." She hesitated and finally, "And about your advice: I know you're just looking out for me so, thanks, I think."

"You're welcome, Bo."

44

The next few days saw Lauren back at the lab, working on learning more about the Garuda while simultaneously dealing with the aftermath of reoccurring fae violence. Now that she knew what they were facing, she felt a measure of control over the situation.

Unfortunately, it wasn't much of a control because to her dismay, there weren't a lot of research material regarding the Garuda. Or rather, there weren't many "informative" material regarding the Garuda. Most of what she had unearthed only contained anecdotal references to the "terror and destruction" that Garudas leave on their path and it was hardly useful in terms of defeating the mythical fae (unless one counted hiding and/or playing dead as a suitable tactic).

In fact, her best source of information was the Ash himself and under her careful interrogation, it turned out that he knew little of his supposed prey. ("My venom kills him. He has a flaming sword, flaming wings and can take over any fae weakened by despair and fear. What else is there to know, doctor?")

Aside from information-gathering, Lauren was also kept busy by another task. In fact, this task was deemed "crucial" and was the first order given to her by Lachlan.

-0-0-

"Your venom?" Lauren asked, not sure she'd heard it clearly the first time. The Ash had just informed her that naga venom always loses its potency when extracted and that up to now, no one had ever managed to properly harvest it (weaponize it).

"Yes, doctor. That is the only way to kill a Garuda." He raised an eyebrow as if to say, _Surely you know that much?_

"I know," Lauren said tersely, "But I don't understand. You mean, you've never been able to synthesize your venom before? That to kill, you've had to come close and bite down to inflict the poison?" At Lachlan's stony silence, Lauren protested her amazement. "But that's practically suicide! From what you've told me, it is near impossible to defeat one, let alone pin them long enough for a bite!"

The utter silence that fell after her remark was uncomfortable as Lauren finally realized her faux pas. She was about to apologize when Lachlan moved, running an agitated hand on his brow.

"No one said it was easy, doctor." He stood up and began to pace. Lauren noticed him shooting an occasional look at the wooden chest behind his chair. "I told you about my brothers before, how I have lost them to the garudas." He looked at her, seemingly expecting an answer to his non-question.

"Yes," Lauren said simply.

"I have watched and felt them all get beheaded, one after another until there is no one left." He paused and looked her in the eye. "I don't think you'll ever truly comprehend what I'm saying but you can imagine how it felt, doctor. I have carried them with me for centuries. We have always been together in everything and we felt what the other felt. So when they died, I suffered the pain of that searing blade four times as it cut through their necks." He turned away then and although his voice remained calm, Lauren could see the tension holding his body rigid.

He gave a bitter chuckle. "Not that beheading us would have saved them anyway." He turned back to Lauren with a pained smirk. "Once we bite down, we never let go. Even if you separate our heads from our bodies, that only triggers the jaw muscles to clamp down harder, thus ensuring that we pump in as much poison as we could." He shook his head a little and appeared to relax, before turning to sit back on his chair. "The only time we could gain advantage was if more than one head managed to get a bite in. Usually, the garuda would be too pained to retaliate. Otherwise, there was no other way to defeat them," he paused at that and then continued, "But we knew the risks and we took them anyway. So yes, doctor, it is suicide. And I am the only one left and cannot spare any more heads for the garuda to take."

He leaned forward on his desk, looking at her intently. "You however, I've heard of you before I even became the Ash. You created the cure for the blood-fever, something that no one believed was possible. I am hoping that you will be able to solve this mystery too."

Lauren's breath caught at her throat. He was trusting her? Her, the lowly human? She always thought that half the time, Lachlan only saw her as - what was his word for it? - _chattel_. A property, a _thing_ he had inherited but did not particularly like. One he must make do with, because it was what was left for him. The other half of the time, he liked to toy with her, making her jump through hoops for his amusement.

She didn't realize that he had ever considered this and for a brief second the enormity of the responsibility he'd placed on her shoulders almost staggered her. And then Lauren's quick mind started working on the problem and she could only feel giddy at this new challenge in front of her.

The Ash must've sensed the change in her mood because he gave her a lazy smirk again. "I take it I can trust you with this matter then?"

Lauren blinked, pulling herself away from the various theories that were popping up to occupy her mind. "Yes, of course." She sketched a hasty bow of respect, "I am honored, Ash..." When she looked up though, his gaze on her was hard and calculating.

"There is one thing, though, doctor. You can't tell anyone what you're doing."

Lauren frowned at that.

Lachlan continued. "At this time, I cannot be sure that we don't have spies in the compound and it is more prudent to be safe now rather than sorry later."

Lauren's frown only deepened and she felt a thrill of discomfort settle in her. "Spies? But... How is that possible?"

The Ash suddenly looked old and tired and Lauren found herself feeling concerned for him. He had always seemed so cool and untouchable; that mocking, sibilant voice always portraying self-assurance. But now, he almost seemed lost. Lauren didn't like it. She had no love for this Ash but he was still _her_ Ash and she took her oaths seriously. She wanted to be a proper support, to be helpful, like she had before.

"As I said, I cannot be sure," he said. "But we cannot dismiss the possibility either. After all, he is only one fae. He cannot take on both clans by brute force, no matter how powerful he is. He will need to be cunning and were I in his place, I would be setting up spies myself, in each camp. That way I can determine how best to manipulate my opponents."

"I see." Lauren did see. She was a brilliant doctor and scientist but she wasn't a politician. Suddenly she was glad that Lachlan was on the ball, that he was taking this threat seriously.

As she walked back to her lab after being dismissed, Lauren felt the weight of her responsibility again, mixed with that earlier fear of being spied upon. Her earlier enthusiasm to crack this problem was diminished as the reality of what they were about to face pulled her down.

A war was coming; a war against a mythical creature - even in fae standards.

And their champion is only one man.

xxx

Lauren was just about to approach the Ash for the venom harvesting (the past days were spent in more information gathering and improving the small lab set up in her rooms) when she got the call from Bo about cherufes.

When she heard the succubus' voice, she realized with a jolt of guilt, that she hadn't thought of Bo for the past few days. She had been too busy with her new "project" and had completely immersed herself in it, blocking all thoughts of the outside world. (She had always been that way when something caught her interest; she had even considered it to be one of her best features: the ability to fully concentrate and dedicate herself to a project.)

But hearing Bo's voice (and her request for information) didn't just pull her away from her work, it managed to completely distract her. Of course she knew about cherufes, the Ash's library contained volumes for them alone. Why did Bo need that information now? She wasn't thinking of facing one, wasn't she?

She promised to meet Bo later to bring some research on the cherufe and discuss the matter fully. It was while she was busy choosing the appropriate books to bring that she finally remembered the body that had been sent to the lab yesterday morning.

Or rather, the ashes that had been sent over.

Usually, Lauren would have been all over those remains already to determine cause of death but this time she had allowed her second in command to handle the autopsy as she felt it was less important than the venom project. Upon her thought, however, she headed straight to the lab to confirm what she had already guessed.

The unfortunate fae had died of spontaneous combustion but she noted a couple of things in surprise: first, the victim was the don of the Bukharin clan and second, that the attending doctor had only written _unknown_ for cause of death.

Then again, who would assume that a cherufe would be the one responsible? First of all, they were very rare and not prone to random acts of violence, preferring their solitude most of the time. (Another part of her brain argued that killing Carmody didn't sound random at all, what with the coming Inverell summit.)

Her thoughts went to Bo again and Lauren found herself cursing in exasperation. Only Bo would manage to stumble on more than one rare and deadly Under fae, Lauren thought, remembering the _Djieiene_ from last year and the encounter with _Baba Yaga_ (although that was more Kenzi's fault). Then again, it was probably more fair to say that Bo stumbles on rare Under fae regardless of whether they're deadly/destructive as evidenced by the Simurgh they "rescued" just this last week.

xxx

Bo looked happy to see her again. It always managed to surprise Lauren to see how Bo's face would lit up and how she'd flash her that gorgeous smile. It was both comforting and distracting, seeing as how that smile always managed to fry her brain for a few seconds making her stand there, grinning like a fool.

Which she just realized, she was doing right now. She hurried inside, before Bo noticed and went straight to business.

"Here, I got you some textbooks," Lauren said, reaching for the library tomes she had crammed into her bag hurriedly. "The Ash's library has volumes dedicated to the cherufe, and even among the fae they're admired for being so... I don't know,"

"Badass?" Bo supplied, glancing quickly at the book Lauren had passed on to her.

"Precisely. It was a cherufe that was responsible for the volcanic eruption of Mt. Vesuvius. The city of Pompeii was buried in minutes, exterminating entire generations of humans and fae." Despite the fear that Lauren felt at the notion of Bo possibly facing off with such a powerful creature, she couldn't help but be impressed as well. Badass indeed.

Her fears only grew when Lauren realized that Bo recognized the word "Scafati" in relation to the case she was working on. Although they didn't understand what it meant yet and why the don of the Bukharin clan had the name on her desk, it was becoming certain that at some point in the near future Bo _would _be facing a damned cherufe. (And with her luck, it would most likely be the one responsible for the Pompeii incident too.)

She was about to express her concern when she noticed Bo gazing at her oddly.

Confused, Lauren blurted out, "What is it?"

Bo blinked and shook her head a little. "I'm sorry, I was just... I haven't really talked to you since, uh, that time, you know, with the genius akvan. I'm, I guess I wanted to apologize again about jumping on you like that when you mentioned Ryan. I know that you were just looking out for me but it felt a lot like you were judging me for my choices," Bo flashed her a sheepish smile. "And you know how get when I feel crowded..."

Lauren was baffled at first and then slightly embarrassed. Bo was apologizing and it felt wrong. Lauren was the one who should apologize. It wasn't any of her business and she shouldn't have brought the topic up in the first place. And even though she hated to admit it, especially to herself, it was just her jealousy talking then. The whole deal about taking care because of Dark Fae culture/politics was a minor concern compared to the acidic bile she pretended she didn't feel melting her gut whenever she thought of Bo and Ryan together, in the succubus' bed. (The same bed she had worshipped that body and wordlessly offered her love.)

"It's okay, I shouldn't have brought it up. It's not my business," Lauren said quickly, trying to gloss over the whole matter.

"Still," Bo insisted and then gave her another tentative smile. "I don't want us to fight. I... you didn't call me back so I thought..." she shrugged.

Lauren blinked at that. Bo called her? And then she remembered that she didn't even know where her cellphone was. She had been so absorbed in her new project that she hadn't bothered to check anything unrelated to it. And since she lived in the compound, anyone could reach her easily if they needed her for work.

Before she could say anything to Bo, the succubus shifted topics. "Anyway, how are you? I figured you must be busy with work too..." she hesitated and then asked, "How's Nadia?"

It was so strange to hear Bo constantly asking about Nadia but it also tugged at her, feeling a dull pain by her heart. She hated lying to the succubus because the pain only grew until her body rebelled, her instincts driving her to reveal the secret.

She would have repressed this feeling again but something reckless in her decided to do the opposite: this time, she went with the truth.

"She's gone, Bo." At Bo's confused looked, Lauren started to explain. "She never came back with me from our trip. We, uh, we decided it was best to take a break and Nadia returned to her home and be with her family."

Lauren waited in dreadful silence, bracing herself as Bo absorbed that information. The confusion was still present but she could sense that Bo was rapidly shifting to hurt and anger.

"What? What do you mean... All this time? But I thought..." Bo asked, standing up to pace at her small living room.

"I'm sorry I made you believe otherwise, Bo. I guess, I wasn't ready to tell anyone yet."

"But why?" Bo's voice cracked with her hurt and confusion. "I don't understand, Lauren."

Lauren swallowed, thinking of Nadia and feeling that hollow, painful sensation fill her chest again. For a moment, the agitated succubus ceased to matter and she could only wallow in her sad memories. Bo's impatient, "Lauren?" snapped her out of it.

She looked up then and just as quickly, bowed her head back down to stare intently at her fisted hands. "Because it hurts." It was a whisper but she knew Bo heard her because the pacing stopped. "It still hurts, Bo. How... I didn't know how to tell anybody, let alone you. How do I say it anyway?" She glanced at Bo for a second, feeling tears prick at her eyes but Lauren wouldn't let them fall. "How do I tell you that I've lost the one person I've been living for, for the last five years?"

"Oh, Lauren."

She sensed Bo coming nearer and tensed when she felt Bo's sympathetic touch on her shoulder. Lauren bit her lip and fought not to cry or yell out or worse, melt into the offered comfort. She continued instead because now that she had started, she wanted to finish the story and for Bo to know what really happened.

"She knew about the fae," Lauren admitted, taking another quick look at the succubus who had sat beside her and then her gaze shifted to their now entwined hands. Bo just listened, her face a mixture of sadness and sympathy. "Actually, she knew the shaman that cursed her. She witnessed some fae ritual that he was doing and he made sure she couldn't spread the knowledge. Anyway long story short, Nadia guessed that I was working for the fae this time and she wanted us to run away," Lauren felt Bo squeeze her hand in reaction. She looked at Bo fully then. "She didn't trust the fae and I understood why, of course, but I still couldn't go with her. I seriously thought about it but I couldn't... I failed her."

Bo moved closer, pulling Lauren into a hug. "Oh, Lauren no. No, don't think that. You didn't fail her."

"I feel like I did," Lauren said, losing her battle with her tears as few escaped and were quickly absorbed by Bo's shoulder. "I should be with her, but I couldn't. Because I've already changed." She paused before adding, "I betrayed her. Us."

"Lauren!" Bo's sharp protest cut straight through Lauren's melancholy. Surprised, the doctor turned towards the succubus and blinked. "I'm sorry, Bo. I didn't mean to sound pathetic..."

"You're not," Bo insisted. "You're not pathetic. It's normal to be hurt... I mean, it sucks to break up and, uh..." Now an embarrassed looking Bo was the first to turn away.

Despite the ache still in her heart, Lauren couldn't help but smile at the succubus' awkwardness. "Thanks, Bo."

Bo looked back in mild surprise to see Lauren grinning. "Glad I can amuse you, doctor," she teased, ignoring her self-conscious blush.

"No, really, thank you," Lauren insisted, becoming serious again. "I... Part of me knows that Nadia and I wouldn't have worked out in the long run because of the _changes_ between us," Lauren had wanted to say _the fae_ instead but stopped herself. "And part of me is relieved to break up, to... I guess, relinquish all responsibility for her. Because now that she's gone and far away from the fae, I don't have to watch out for her anymore." She bit her lip and then continued, "That makes me feel guilty and it's all jumbled up emotions inside of me right now." Lauren took a deep breath in and flashed Bo a small smile, "What I'm trying to say is that even though I didn't want to burden you with my problems, I'm glad you're here to listen to me like this. I needed it," she squeezed Bo's hand softly and added, "I'm sorry I lied to you the first time, though."

Bo smiled back just as gently. "I understand. Thanks for trusting me with this too. I'm your friend Lauren, I want you to know that I'll be here for you, for anything you need."

_I need you._

Lauren felt her heart stutter as she panicked. Did she say that out loud? Bo's face didn't change so she probably didn't. She breathed a sigh of relief and silently cursed her impulsive feelings. This wasn't the time for that. They were preparing for war. Bo had her own guy problems. Lauren wasn't ready to jump in to another relationship.

She should take what she could get and savour this friendship between them that just grew stronger.

Except when Bo looked at her like that, her eyes soft and dare she say it? Adoring. Lauren couldn't help but raise her hopes and she inevitably gets sucked into that vicious circle of "She likes me, She likes me not". It was ridiculous.

"Thank you, Bo. I really appreciate that," Lauren finally answered. "You know the same goes for me, right? I'm here for you as well."

Bo nodded and Lauren continued, bringing their conversation back to a "lighter" note. "Which means I want you to take care and take all the precaution you need in fighting this cherufe."

Bo look startled at the change in topic. "I'm not fighting a cherufe!"

Lauren shot her a look that clearly said, _Yeah right_.

"I'm not!" Bo protested, although she was grinning now. "Who in their right mind fights a lava creature?"

Another look this time, a raised eyebrow saying, _You do_.

"I don't!" Bo mock frowned at the doctor, knowing she was being teased and enjoying their banter. "But just in case, what, in your professional opinion, do you suggest could defeat such a creature?"

Lauren's teasing grinned dimmed a bit as she pondered the question seriously. "Something very cold. If you manage to supercool their internal core, I think that would help slow their movement a bit, if not actually crystallize body parts. It would have to be very, very cold though. And this is all conjecture so don't take me for my word."

"Hmm, okay," Bo said, relaxing now. They were still holding hands and maybe that was why when Bo leaned back on the couch, Lauren unconsciously followed, sinking on to the cushions herself. They gazed at each other in silence for a while, both smiling tenderly, lost in their thoughts.

Eventually, Lauren would have to get up and get back to the lab but she was content to stay like this for now.


	32. Truth and Truth

A/N: Okay so this is unbeta'ed again so there's probably tons of mistakes. (I shouldn't be posting it yet but I was a bit excited to have an update ready in just 10 days. Practically a miracle, these days) Just please be patient with them.

Anyway, as you will see, this chapter will tackle two episodes again, Faented Love (where Lauren didn't appear even a little bit) and Truth and Consequences. Of course the latter would be radically different from the one on the show since this story's Nadia is gone but I didn't expect what I came up with to replace it either. Those two characters practically wrote that part by themselves.

I like it though. Especially the little scene by the end. Hope you like it too. Enjoy!

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><p>45<p>

Lauren's relationship with Bo quickly returned to their normal, flirty friendship. Except it felt different.

Lauren felt different.

Some nights, she still woke up in the middle of deep sleep, half-panicking that she forgot to check on Nadia in her pod. Other times, she would feel weirdly dissociated, like an un-tethered air balloon that was accidentally freed and left to float around with no direction. Sometimes she still felt guilty for enjoying this feeling, but mostly she was learning to accept it.

She was busy too, of course, what with the venom project (which was frustratingly going nowhere) on top of her usual duties. But that was normal for her, being a workaholic.

And there it was, that word: normal. Her life had settled back to its basic normalcy but she still felt restless, and it wasn't just because of the hole Nadia left.

It was her feelings for Bo, finally acknowledged and raging forth in her heart without the dam of Nadia's presence to hinder it.

It was scary. It was exhilarating, wonderful, amazing. Mostly though, it was inconvenient.

Lauren had been determined to work on this project - to find the solution to the Naga venom that had eluded the fae for centuries, oh what an accomplishment that would that be! No one could doubt her then and call it a lucky accident - but ever since that afternoon at Bo's couch, it had become increasingly harder to concentrate.

They were keeping touch mainly via phone calls, both preoccupied with their own duties but sometimes they met in the compound too (Bo and Lachlan kept having these little "meetings" and if Lauren weren't so bogged down already, she would have tried to figure out what they meant.) and would take small meals together at the cafeteria/dining hall.

When they were together, it was easy. At times, it reminded her of their early days of acquaintance - before she 'betrayed' the succubus and lost her trust - back when they were still dancing on their unresolved sexual tension. When they spoke, there was a heightened sense of anticipation in the air as they sneakily traded suggestive looks and words. For a succubus like Bo, seduction was on par with breathing and Lauren had learned long ago to accept that part of her, especially since she enjoyed it when it was directed at her. It was exciting and something Lauren didn't realize she had _lost_ and missed between them.

And sometimes it was just comfortable, like last week when they sat on Bo's couch in silence and simply enjoyed each other's presence.

They could talk for hours about the little things, and it was nice. It wasn't forced but rather, they felt a genuine desire to know what the other woman thought or felt about the random subjects that came to their minds. When she was with Bo, Lauren did not feel restless or awkward, she just was. She could be her geeky self and know that she would be teased but it would all be in good nature.

It was a strange dynamic too, Lauren thought. This whole atmosphere with Bo felt like the start of a meaningful relationship.

Like they were dating, even if they hadn't declared it in those words.

They ate together, called each other almost every day just to check in; they wanted to know everything about each other and wanted to be together even if it's only for a few minutes.

There was shyness and a tentativeness to their actions but at the same time, they already knew - had already seen the other at their worst and lowest points. It coloured their interactions making everything less simple. Complex and complicated.

Because eventually, Bo would leave, or they'd hang up and Lauren would slowly become anxious again and the numerous doubts would creep in and bring her down.

She would begin to question herself and rationalize her feelings, because it was what she did when she was uncertain and needed to clear her head. (She made a pro/con list once, regarding pursuing a relationship with Bo, but threw it away because there were too many cons.) But then again, it wasn't just her head this time, it was her heart that was pulling the strings. And the last time she had loved someone, she had ended up watching them sleep inside a pod for five years.

So, to say that she was wary was understandable.

However, Lauren also knew that the odds of what happened to her and Nadia were ridiculously minimal.

Then again, that was before she met the fae. Now she was actually contemplating to be with one of them? And a succubus, at that?

Her wariness only intensified to outright fear.

It was harder to fight the doubts when she knew that they had a logical base. In this equation, there were many things Lauren couldn't change: she was human and a ward of the Ash. On the other side was Bo, who was a succubus (possibly the worst type of fae to develop a romance with) with no clan affiliations.

Sometimes it boggled Lauren's mind trying to bring those facts together and imagine a future relationship from it. The only way she could see it work was for both of them to compromise heavily, especially her because she wasn't the one who had a biological need to feed off of other's lust energy.

The mere thought of that sent a deep feeling of exhaustion that Lauren could feel through her very bones. She was just so tired of giving in, of being the 'martyr' and sacrificing for what she wanted. She'd had enough of that these past five years and she wasn't prepared to do it again in another relationship.

She wasn't sure if Bo was worth it (wasn't even sure if the succubus loved her, either).

Because Lauren knew through bitter experience, that sometimes, love isn't always enough. Her love had once lifted her up higher than she could ever imagine and then it had also dragged her down until she had become bowed under its heavy burden.

She didn't regret it, though; couldn't bring herself to. It was hers after all, her choices that led to the happiness and the despair. It was a part of her now.

Lauren just wasn't sure she was ready for something like that again.

46

"Will you please hold still?" Lauren asked exasperatedly, daring to shoot a glare at the slightly squirming man beside her. "There. Done. Thank you." She hurriedly put the cap on the freshly gathered venom vials and went directly to her lab table to sort them out. Behind her, the Ash massaged his jaw and glared at her back with irritation.

"It's been weeks and I have yet to see progress in your work, doctor."

Lauren shot him a quick glance. "I told you, Ash, it's not easy. I have no basis whatsoever and there are so many variables to consider why the venom loses its potency over time. I'm not even sure why sometimes the rate of potency decreases rapidly compared to other samples..."

He put up a hand to stop her. "I don't care to hear the details of your work, doctor, only the results matter." Lauren turned to face him fully and opened her mouth to argue back but Lachlan's glare silenced her. "I am not a specimen that you can study at your leisure, Lauren. You can't just gather my venom whenever you feel like it."

Lauren felt slightly ashamed at that and bowed her head, "I am sorry. I know it's uncomfortable," she heard him snort at that but continued anyway, "but I wouldn't have asked you to come if I didn't really need more samples." She looked at him again and dared to add, "It's not like I enjoy the process any more than you do."

Lachlan stiffened a bit and shot her another glare, although this one seemed milder in comparison. He started pacing her living room and Lauren suddenly realized that his irritation wasn't just from the extraction process. She watched him pace a bit longer before venturing to ask, "Is there something wrong?"

Lachlan shot him a derisive look then and promptly flung himself on her couch, adopting an indolent posture. Lauren felt a brief discomfort to note how relaxed he looked in her home before concentrating back at his words.

"What isn't wrong? We're in the brink of war, doctor, in case you've forgotten."

Lauren gritted her teeth at his arrogant tone. They've been getting along better these days as they were both forced to work together in secret and they had grown somewhat closer and a bit more comfortable with each other (hence why Lauren could dare question and argue back to her 'master') but sometimes, she was still reminded of how much she had disliked this man before.

"Of course not," Lauren said, "But something else must've happened because you're in a weird mood today."

Lachlan raised an eyebrow and gave her a smirk, "Oh, you know me so well now, do you? Is that your diagnosis, doctor? Weird mood?"

Lauren ignored his flippant remarks and only waited until he conceded with a sigh.

"Fine, yes, something has happened, as you've put it." He sighed and gazed towards her window. They were too far away to see anything but the bright sky and Lachlan seemed to be focused on an internal battle anyway.

Lauren wanted to ask, _What is it?_ but she forced herself to wait still. She didn't know why she was persisting to know because it wasn't likely that she could help anyway, but something urged her to. Despite herself, she was learning to like this Ash. He wasn't like his predecessor at all, although he shared some of his qualities (*cough* arrogance *cough*). Lachlan had his own unique style of leadership that fitted his personality.

He didn't have the old Ash's force of presence, that dignified bearing that had made the old Ash almost impossible to approach without feeling like a bug under his impassive gaze. Later on, Lauren would see another side to the old Ash that spoke of a hidden temper and his own brand of humour but her impression of him would always be that of an immoveable, majestic mountain.

On the other hand, Lachlan was like a scrapper in comparison. A lone wolf, or snake, in this case. He was wily and charismatic enough to garner the support of the Light fae in general, but when one looked at him, one did not automatically see a leader. Instead, there was an air of menace that lingered on his person, like a barely tame predator. He was dangerous and unknown, not coming from any prominent family. Aside from being a Naga, he was probably the perfect person to lead them to this war. There was a fluidity to his demeanour that ran opposite to the solidness of the old Ash and that characteristic helped him now in fae politics regarding the upcoming war.

A thought suddenly entered Lauren's mind and she couldn't help blurt it out. "Why did you run in the selection games?" When Lachlan turned to look at her confusedly, Lauren elaborated, "It seems like a big coincidence now, you becoming Ash just as we're off to face a Garuda."

"Ah," Lachlan said, looking thoughtful. "I had a warning."

"What do you mean? This was prophesized?" Lauren asked, thinking furiously of the implications.

"Hmm, no. Not that way. The Nain Rouge was always cryptic and short on details but she gave me enough of a head start, at least."

"The Nain Rouge..." Lauren struggled to remember what she knew of that fae. Lachlan however, was on a roll with his story and spoke over her.

"She told me that something big would happen and I needed to prepare. I didn't know what she meant of course, and then the news of the old Ash's injuries trickled down. The selection games didn't come as much of a surprise then and I decided to put my hat in, just in case that was what the Nain Rouge was referring to. After that, well, it turns out that I'm not even the main player in this drama."

"What...?" Lauren asked and was once again ignored.

"I suspected that the succubus would have her own part to play too, but I never realized the extent of it. In a way, I am glad that she's the one destined to take point in this battle."

"What?" This time, Lauren's startled question caught Lachlan's attention.

He turned to her with a calculating look, "I haven't told you yet, have I? Bo is our champion against the Garuda. The Nain Rouge has declared it so. She would be the one to lead us into battle, not I."

"But... Bo?" Lauren asked, bewildered. "What does she have to do with the Garuda? I don't understand, she doesn't even have a clan!"

"And that's precisely why she's suitable, don't you see?" Lachlan looked eager as he explained it to Lauren, ignoring her horrified look. "She would be able to gather forces from both Light and Dark clans without having to deal with the problems we would have, should either of us try to approach the other."

"But she's just Bo! A year ago, she didn't even know she was fae!" Lauren realized that she was close to being hysterical but this information literally blindsided her out of nowhere and now she felt like mangled roadkill after getting hit by a ten wheeler. Parts of her mind was berating her for never putting the dots together but the rest of her thoughts were concentrating on how to "fix" this situation. Because Bo couldn't do this.

Lachlan voiced her thoughts out loud. "You must've noticed that she's been coming here more often? That's why I sent her to the Inverell and why I'm sending her to the Glaive this time."

That distracted Lauren. "The Glaive? Why do you need to send someone to her? Wouldn't be easier to just invite her here?"

Lachlan's expression turned grim. "I'm almost sure that she is thinking of siding with the Garuda. I'm hoping that Bo would be able to confirm this for me, or even try to turn her back to our side."

Lauren's earlier thoughts were completely derailed by this new information. "What? The Glaive? Are you sure?" But she didn't really need to ask because she could see from Lachlan's face that he wasn't in any way kidding about this. It explained why his mood was so erratic.

The Glaive was an important Light fae elder who was responsible for the creation and keeping of the laws. She was one of the foundations for Light fae governance and was arguably as significant as the Ash (the selection process for that position was certainly more stringent than the Ash's).

For her to turn sides would be a terrible blow to their side. They've effectively lost a battle before the war even started.

"How would Bo help? I still don't get what role she'd play in this whole thing," Lauren insisted.

"I just said..." Lachlan began but it was Lauren's turn to speak over him. She didn't even care about protocol right now.

"I understand that her unaligned status would be a big help in facilitating between the clans but beyond that? Why does she have to be the one to lead us into battle? She's a succubus, for God's sake!"

Lachlan stood up and went over to where she was standing. His posture wasn't threatening and there was a curious look in his eyes but Lauren still fought not to flinch and give in to the silent demand of his presence.

"This is exactly why she would be ideal, Lauren," Lachlan's surprisingly patient voice managed to both confuse and relax Lauren at the same time. "Her powers lie in lust, not in anger and fear. She would be uniquely able to combat his influence."

Unfortunately, Lauren could understand that logic but she wasn't willing to give up yet. "But there are other succubi surely? Older ones who have more experience wielding their power other than Bo?"

Lachlan frowned. "Even if there were, they wouldn't be of any use. You know as well as I that succubi aren't warriors." His frown deepened as he thought about it. "As a species, they're all very selfish and cares only for their own wants and needs." Lauren wanted to tell him that he just described most fae species, not just the succubi, but she kept her mouth shut this time.

Lachlan continued, "They're arrogant too because they know that they can pretty much control everyone to get what they want. Fortunately, they have no real ambition beyond staking their territories," he looked at Lauren, "You can see how that won't be helpful to our war efforts."

"And Bo?" Lauren asked.

"Bo is different. She's special and you know it too, Lauren. She wasn't raised as a fae and she has, hmm, empathy that her succubi sisters lack. She would fight for what's right even if no one asked her to, regardless of their clan or species." He paused to look at directly, "But more importantly, the Nain Rouge has shown herself to Bo and told her directly that she was going to be at the center of the events."

At that, Lauren's shoulders slumped in defeat. She thought that maybe the Nain Rouge had only supported Lachlan when he chose Bo as his champion but if she appeared to Bo herself, then that was another matter altogether. She remembered now that as a rule, the Nain Rouge had little choice in who she appeared to. She was drawn to witness significant events but she played no other part in their creation.

"I believe in her," Lachlan said, interrupting her thoughts. Lauren looked up at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. She suddenly felt like he was reassuring her. How odd. "The Garuda would be ready for me but he wouldn't be counting on Bo's presence as much. She would be our ace in the hole."

Odder still when Lauren found herself feeling easier after his statement. She didn't know how to deal with that so she only said, "She would need our help."

"Yes," Lachlan agreed, "Right now, she's not anywhere ready to lead anything. I've been trying to help with that,"

"By sending her to negotiate with the families and now with the Glaive," Lauren murmured.

"Yes, but I doubt she realizes what I'm doing. I think she believes she's playing messenger," Lachlan sighed. "She... it's not just the matter of getting her ready but the fact that she doesn't want to take on this role."

Lauren looked at him in surprise. Lachlan gave a short laugh at her expression. "Oh yes, doctor. It's not just you who has doubts about our succubus. She doesn't believe it, herself."

Lauren felt a brief irritation at the way Lachlan said, "our succubus" but it was quickly lost under the realization of Bo's insecurities. She thought she understood most of them too. Bo had just gotten comfortable in her place amongst the fae and now she was being held responsible for all of them? It was too much to ask and Lauren's heart ached for what the succubus must be going through. She wanted so badly to protect her, to be able to figure out a way that wouldn't require Bo to do anything she didn't want to do but...

Lauren was suddenly aware that Lachlan was staring at her and she flushed under his knowing gaze.

"I understand the need to shield her," Lachlan said carefully, "But the best way we can help her now is to give all our support to ensure that she will win against the Garuda."

"It's unfair though," Lauren blurted out and immediately felt ashamed. She couldn't meet Lachlan's eyes then but she heard him murmur, "Yes, it is. No one asks to be handed such a responsibility."

There was a moment of silence before they both broke it, speaking simultaneously.

"I have to process these new samples..."

"I have to go and meet with the heads for a debrief..."

Lauren frowned at that and glanced at the clock. "I thought that wasn't for later...?"

"It is later, doctor," Lachlan teased, gathering the files that Lauren had handed him earlier. "We've been talking for more than an hour."

"But that can't be right," Lauren said, still frowning at her clock. She didn't think they took that long, did they?

"This would only be fueling the gossipmongers, I suppose," Lachlan commented as he was leaving.

"What gossip?" Lauren asked suddenly and he stopped to smirk at her.

"That we've become more than professional in our relationship and that I've, how did that girl phrase it? Oh yes, I've been comforting you from the loss of your mate."

Lauren's brain stuttered to a halt as she made sense of that implication. "Wha-?"

"It's your fault, doctor. Apparently, the last time I was in your rooms, you came out later wearing a turtleneck shirt."

"It's... I wasn't... I forgot to do my laundry!" She was usually meticulous with such things but the venom project was consuming most of her time and thoughts. Lachlan laughed at her as he finally left and Lauren could only grit her teeth in frustration.

In retrospect, she understood why the rumours came about. They had been meeting in her rooms quite often because this was the only safe place she could work on his venom without anyone knowing and Lachlan had gotten into the habit of coming in here to check on her instead of summoning her to his office (where there were other faes nearby that could be spies and listen in on their conversations).

She understood how it happened but she still hated it. Stupid gossipy faes. For all their "otherworldly-ness", they were a lot more "human" than they would insist.


	33. And I Am Telling You

A/N: I knew I shouldn't have posted the last chapter yet. I totally forgot to add this part! This chapter is the one I actually envisioned for the Truth and Consequences episode but Lauren and Lachlan hijacked it from me, so... I had to scramble and write this part quickly. (Which is fortunate for you guys because of the quick updates in between. I am kinda proud that I managed to finish this in just 4 days. :D)

Anyway, before I prepare you for this chapter, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I'm always happy to hear from you guys and your thoughts help me with the writing process. :) A lot of you enjoyed the Lachlan/Lauren rumour thing and have wondered how Bo will react about it. That actually never occurred to me. In my mind, it was just their way of bonding. (I wanted Lauren to develop a relationship to this other Ash, kinda like her relationship with the old Ash, but in a different way.) Anyway, I don't think Bo will hear about the rumour. It'll be the compound faes' little secret because I like the idea that they have a separate world from the one we see on the show (the one that revolves around Bo).

Okay, so on with the regular programming. This chapter still takes place in the Truth and Consequences episode. To set the scene and jog your memories a bit: Bo brings the Glaive to Lachlan and when she gets home, she meets a heartbroken Kenzi who had just broken up with Nate. Episode ends there but in this chapter, Bo decides to go back to the compound.

And, action! (Enjoy!)

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><p>xxx<p>

"Bo, you're back," Lauren said, surprised to find the succubus wandering in the compound at such a late hour.

She had seen her earlier, storming in to the Ash's office while carrying the Glaive over her shoulder. Lauren didn't have a chance to talk to her because Bo had left as quickly as she came in but she figured she could still call the succubus later.

She spent the rest of the day working in the lab and was heading back to her rooms to do just that when she saw the succubus loitering in a hallway.

"What are you doing here?" Lauren asked, hurrying to catch up to the succubus who have only slowed down a little at her approach. "Where are you going?" She frowned when she noticed that Bo seemed agitated.

"I wanted to speak to Lachlan. I have something to say to him. I almost forgot but I just remembered," Bo wasn't really looking at her and just continued walking, randomly turning on corners. "He's not in his office though." Suddenly, Bo stopped and fixed Lauren an intent gaze. "Do you know where his room is?"

Lauren was confused at her actions and growing seriously concerned. "Bo," she said, reaching for the succubus' hands, "what's wrong?"

Bo gave a deep sigh and allowed herself to relax at the doctor's touch. "Lauren, I just..."

"Come on. Come with me," Lauren urged and carefully towed the now oddly subdued succubus in her wake.

She led them to her rooms and made Bo sit on the couch before taking a seat beside her. "Now, tell me what's wrong."

Bo shook her head and looked conflicted. She still avoided meeting Lauren's eyes. "Nothing. It's, I shouldn't have come... this could've waited til tomorrow."

"Bo...?" Lauren cajoled gently. But it soon became clear that the succubus wouldn't say anything more about what was troubling her, so she changed tactics. "Okay. So, I hear you've been keeping things from me."

At that, Bo looked up at her curiously. "What?"

Lauren gave her a gentle, teasing smile hoping to draw her out of this odd mood. "Does the word 'champion' ring any bells?"

Lauren miscalculated though, because the moment the word slipped out her mouth, Bo's features tightened up again and this time she could clearly see the anguish in those expressive, chocolate eyes. She tried to back up quickly, but the succubus had already stood up and seemed ready to bolt.

"Bo..."

"No, I'm not a champion, Lauren," Bo paused and began to pace, glaring at the floor. "I don't care what Lachlan told you but I'm not. I'm not! I don't want it." She gave a short, bitter laugh. "Hell, even I know how wrong that sounds. I'm not some hero destined to save the fae. I don't care what the Nain Rouge prophesizes or, whatever! Her crystal ball is definitely broken because I can't possibly be the champion."

"Bo," Lauren tried again, reaching for the succubus hand. Bo allowed her touch and let herself be led back to the couch. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"It's not your fault," Bo cut her off, sighing in frustration.

Lauren hesitated then, hating herself a little for what she was about to do. It was necessary though, and she was never one to shy from doing what must be done once she'd committed to something. Besides, she needed to do this for Bo too, even if the other woman wouldn't take it that way.

"The Nain Rouge doesn't need a crystal ball to know you'll play an important role in this battle, Bo. Her very nature draws her to you. She is called to witness all great events and you're at the center of this one whether you like it or not."

Bo had clenched her jaw, gritting her teeth and staring at her with something like betrayal in her eyes. (Lauren recognized the look from long ago.) "Why? Why are you telling me this?"

Lauren took a deep breath and braced herself. "Because you need to start accepting your fate now." She noticed the sudden clenching of Bo's fists but she didn't stop. She wasn't afraid of Bo physically hurting her but she was wary of the short fuse in her temper. "You can't run this time Bo, and even if you do, the cost would be much bigger than you've ever paid for."

The succubus was breathing hard, and it was obvious that she was trying to control herself but her widened eyes showed her bewilderment and growing anger. "I'm not ready. I'm, shit," Bo raised one hand in a quick, abrupt gesture before curling it back into a fist. She looked Lauren in the eye. "I'm not a leader, okay? I don't know how to be and, damn it Lauren! We're talking about the whole fae here! From what I've been seeing the past few weeks, the Garuda isn't just this scary fae, he's beyond that! People are scared even if they don't want to admit it. Heck, some have already given up and joined his side in hopes that they won't be destroyed afterwards. How am I supposed to beat that?"

Lauren moved slowly, not wanting to startle Bo, and put her hands on the succubus's face, cupping her cheeks. "By being yourself. And by remembering that you're not alone. I believe in you, Bo," Lauren said, echoing Lachlan's words from this afternoon.

Although she had asked the same questions and expressed the same concerns that Bo were showing now, she never truly doubted the succubus' ability. (After all, Bo had more than proven by now that she was capable when the situation demanded it and that she had an uncanny luck that managed to turn her goofs into successes.) Lauren had just been so afraid for Bo, for what it meant to have her lead their charge against such a fearsome enemy.

"We believe in you, all of us who really knows you," Lauren said and continued, shooting Bo a teasing smirk, "Sure, you're not my first choice either,"

That provoked a wobbly half snort, half laugh from the succubus and Lauren's smirk turned to a genuine grin at that.

"Believe me when I say that I understand your concerns." Lauren's hands drifted down from the other woman's face to hold her hands. "I couldn't believe it when Lachlan told me about it and I immediately rejected the whole notion..."

"Then why are you pushing me now?" Bo interrupted exasperatedly. She pulled one of her hands free to make a wild gesture in the air. "If you understand, then why're you suddenly all 'rah-rah Bo, be the champion!'"

"Because Lachlan had compelling reasons on why you were a suitable champion. You _are_ unaligned and therefore can gather support from both sides and you _are_ a succubus. Your powers would, if not match then at least, protect you from his." Lauren paused and made sure that she looked Bo in the eye for this part. "But mostly because, you're you and I know, I just know, that you would be able to defeat him. Call it gut instinct or maybe even wishful thinking but Bo, I can't deny this certainty in me that tells me it's alright to trust you with this."

"I'm not some kind of superwoman, Lauren," Bo protested.

"No one's asking you to be," Lauren said.

"Oh, really?" Bo raised an eyebrow at that. "Being called to be the champion isn't the same?"

Lauren shook her head, momentarily at a loss on how to explain her thoughts. "That's not what I meant. I don't..." She bit her lip and then squeezed Bo's hand. "I think you don't have to be a superwoman or try to be anything. You only have to be you." Lauren concentrated her gaze on the potted plant at the farside of the room as she mulled the idea forming in her head. "This doesn't sound like a coincidence, Bo. I mean, the whole concepts of fate and destiny and self determination aside, the Garuda has been dormant for centuries but he's only woken up now. Lachlan and others of his species has been hunting them for forever and he should have been the easy choice to lead us into battle, **but** he isn't."

"I don't understand..." Bo said, looking frustrated again.

Lauren frowned a little. "I'm sorry I can't explain better but, uh, if Lachlan didn't get chosen, then there are other generals and warriors that are so much older and more experienced than you that could be our champion. And that goes for both Light and Dark clans."

"Totally not convincing me here, Lauren, if you're still trying to make me believe I should be the champion."

"Just, let me finish okay?" Lauren asked, "I, yes, there are lots of other suitable people but they didn't get chosen. The Nain Rouge didn't appear to any of them. She only appeared to you."

"Because clearly she's gone crazy!" Bo said, bouncing a little. "She looks young but she's probably thousands of years old and that made her senile or something."

Lauren tightened her grip on Bo's hand, bringing the succubus' attention back to her. "Bo! She only appeared to you! Don't you get it?"

"Clearly not," Bo snarked, "Look, I still don't understand so just give it to me straight."

"Even though there wasn't a lack of better candidates, you were declared champion. **You**, Bo. That means that you have something that those other people don't have. You possess some quality, some trait, that sets you apart from them. We can't know what it is for sure but... you're special, Bo. If we just needed a warrior and someone good at battle, or a leader that's good with bringing people together, then we already have those. And they're still not good enough. You are."

Bo fell silent as she absorbed those words. Then she turned her gaze back to Lauren and in a shaky voice, said, "I'm scared, Lauren."

"I know," Lauren said, in sympathy. For a brief moment she considered kissing the succubus until that fear in her eyes disappeared, but she held herself still. "But that's why we're here." She let her lips curl into a small smile. "I realize it's cliché, but Bo you're not alone in this. Even if you were to lead us, that won't mean we'll abandon you. _Everyone_ would be there to support you, not just your friends."

Bo sighed, looking a bit defeated. "I don't know what's so special about me, though. And what if you're wrong and this isn't some big destiny? What if this was just a cosmic accident and I'm the poor shmuck that has to bear this stupid burden?"

Lauren took a deep breath then and slowly let it out. "Then, too bad for you."

Bo shot her a startled gaze then and just as quickly, slapped her arm but only semi-playfully. "Not funny!"

"I don't have all the answers, Bo. I can't be sure either but I have to believe in it because... well," Lauren shrugged, feeling tired. "I know you're scared and you're not the only one who feels that way. We don't know what's going to happen but the Garuda poisons you with fear and anger until you can't think straight, and we can't allow him to do that. _We can't lose_. So, I'm going to stick with my theory and do my best to help out."

And then Lauren gently gathered the succubus to her in a tight hug, willing away that awful, frightened expression from Bo's face. They stayed that way for a while, as Bo tried to absorb her words and Lauren tried to be strong for Bo.

Lauren was scared, it wasn't just her commiserating with Bo earlier. Her hands were trembling faintly and her heart was pounding faster than normal, but she ignored it all to focus on the woman in her arms. She breathed deeply, imprinting the succubus' scent in her mind and allowed her hands to tenderly soothe the tension out of Bo's body. Overwhelming affection rose in her, drowning her fears, and in that moment, Lauren felt like she would burst from all the feelings she had for this woman. Love seemed too small and inadequate a word to describe everything, and yet the word stuck on her throat, wanting to be expressed.

_I love you so much, Bo_.

"What?" Bo asked in surprise and pulled away from her.

What? Lauren thought and then, oh my God! You said it out loud stupid! Of all the times to blurt out her innermost feelings... But then again, maybe she said something else?

"Did you just say...?" Bo petered out. She looked confused but tense.

Lauren thought furiously, her mind going on miles a minute. She thought to deny it first and pretend she never said anything, but she quickly rejected that idea because it didn't feel right. But what if she admitted it out loud, but twist the context so that Bo would believe she loved her as a friend only? It would work but Lauren still found herself hesitating. Her mind offered up another option, a crazy, impossible one that she shouldn't be considering and yet... What if she admitted everything to Bo right now, without qualifications? The whole, unvarnished truth. Would it be so bad?

Another part of her brain had a ready answer for that: apart from the soul-rending pain if Bo rejected her, what else did she have to lose?

Lauren winced internally. Put that way, it sounded very bad. But on the other hand... on the other hand, she could seize this moment for herself. She could lay it all out, take a chance and make a choice. She hadn't had a lot of chance lately to decide for herself, often letting other people take charge of her life or giving in to events that sweep her away. She thought of Nadia and how they might not have lasted long if they had persisted on staying together but Lauren had wanted to try it anyway. In the end, she still gave in when Nadia called it quits.

This time though, Lauren could own up to it first. Her future relationship with Bo was in her hands right now and she could go for broke. If she had the courage.

No guts, no glory. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Carpe diem.

Enough, she thought, stopping her inner rambling and concentrating back on the real world.

Lauren took a deep swallow, (it seemed like hours had already passed with time suspended on bated breath but it was only seconds) and made her choice.

"I... I'm in love with you, Bo. I..." She suddenly felt shy but Lauren forced herself not to drop her gaze. "I have for a long time now but I couldn't tell you because of... uh, Nadia. And I realize this is probably not the best time for confessions but," she gave her a helpless, shaky smile "I don't want to hide it anymore. I love you," she said again, only slightly aware that she was inching closer to Bo and that her other hand had reached out to delicately cup the succubus' cheek. "so, so much. I love..."

Bo's lips cut her off but Lauren didn't mind, unable to help herself from groaning at the sensation. It had been far too long since they've last kissed and it was like an overload. She wasn't ready for the powerful feelings that erupted in her chest but she wasn't about to pull away either. Instead, Lauren pushed closer, pouring every drop of feeling she had into the kiss.

When air became an issue, they reluctantly pulled away from each other a bit, foreheads resting together.

"God, Lauren..."

Lauren stared directly into Bo's eyes and murmured, "You are so precious to me."

"Lauren..." And then they were kissing again and Lauren wanted to melt in this familiar embrace and burst all at the same time. She felt like she was going crazy with giddiness but something inside her had relaxed too, calming her. It was everything all at once and so overwhelming but Lauren loved every moment of it. She loved this woman, love love love her so

But then Bo suddenly wrenched herself away to stand up and began shaking her head, "No wait, we can't. I can't."

"Bo?" Lauren asked, a bit disoriented from the sudden separation.

"I..." Bo began to pace. "Kenzi broke up with Nate earlier."

Lauren blinked, trying to think why that information was relevant right now. "Okay? I'm sorry about that."

Bo shook her head and looked at Lauren as though the doctor was being dense. "You don't understand. She broke up with him because it was too dangerous."

Lauren stood up as well and tried to reach for Bo's hand but the succubus evaded her. A slight tingle of pain developed in her heart at that rejection but Lauren ignored it, trying to determine where Bo was going with this (trying to remain calm). "Dangerous because of the fae?"

"Yes," Bo answered. She looked so sad then that Lauren instinctively tried to close the distance between them again. But Bo only stepped back further and the pain in her heart stung harder. "I told Kenzi that she had to leave and go with Nate; that I needed her to be safe. She couldn't even tell him about her real life and I could see how that hurt her." Bo looked at Lauren despairingly, "But she still chose to be with me. She broke up with Nate to keep _him_ safe and... that's why I can't do this with you now. I can't put you in anymore danger. Kenzi already made her choice but I can't worry about you both. I can still save you."

"That's obviously different!" Lauren protested, "I already know about the fae!" She allowed her anger to mask the ever growing pain in her heart. "And even if I wanted to, _which I don't_, I can't just go away. The Ash still owns me, Bo. I'm not free."

"But you could be," Bo said, calming down while Lauren only grew more agitated - an odd reversal of their moods.

"What?" Lauren asked in disbelief.

"That's why I was here tonight. I remembered that Lachlan had promised me something about letting you go," Bo gave a small frown, "Well, he said you're gonna play an important part in this battle and that he'd consider freeing you once we defeat the Garuda but maybe I could change his mind and he can do it now." She turned to Lauren earnestly. "You can be free, Lauren. You can go anywhere you like and get as far as from this place as possible, be safe."

Lauren opened her mouth but no words came out. She couldn't quite decide what to say because had gotten stuck on the words 'letting you go' and 'free'.

"That's why I can't be with you now." Bo straightened up and her gaze grew colder. "You'll be a distraction and I can't have that if we're going to win. You have to go away."

Lauren was still trying to get around the concept of "freedom" and she doubted that she had heard correctly. By the time she looked up to ask for a clarification, Bo had already left. She was alone.

* * *

><p>AN2: Gasp. Haha! I couldn't resist that ending so forgive me if it's too dramatic. Also, I forgot to mention that I don't have a beta right now, so everything I post will be unbeta'ed. (Figured it was better to do this one blanket warning than constantly saying it in the beginning.) As always, please be patient with the mistakes you find.

Don't worry about Doccubus though. This looks bad but I'm actually excited because this is a turning point. Only a couple more chapters left (3 episodes left to tackle) and there will be progress soon.

Cheers,

Rabastan04


	34. Brave people

A/N: Thanks for the reviews last time! I really appreciate you taking the time to do it. :D Also, I apologize for the very long wait! I'm so so sorry, you guys! (And I even promised myself to update at least once a week. Good thing I didn't state that promise out loud and at least spared you the disappointment.)

I did go on vacation for a week so I have that as an excuse (also, I blame Pottermore for being so interesting) but it's not much of an excuse either because even before the vacation, I already had the outline for the new chapter all written up. I had the ideas and I just needed to write them down but I was too lazy to do it for a while. And then when I made myself buckle down, it turned out that the chapter was actually hard to write. Even with the outline, I found myself struggling a lot.

So anyway, without further ado, here's the new chapter. I hope you enjoy it and as a sort of bonus, it's like 6000 words - a bit longer than normal.

A fair warning: this was unbeta'ed again and I only checked it once. I literally just finished typing it and then rushed to post it so if you see many mistakes, please be patient with them. Thanks.

* * *

><p>47<p>

Lauren expected it to hurt but to her surprise, she only felt mild pain concerning Bo's abandonment. (Maybe her pain threshold had increased due to the emotional beating she'd been getting lately?) It helped that she was able to rationalize the whole situation too. In some ways, she should have expected Bo's reaction. The succubus had proven again and again that her fight-or-flight instincts were well honed and was always triggered by emotional stress. With the demands of the fae on her shoulders, along with the stress of worrying about her and Kenzi's safety, it was no wonder that Bo left. Lauren knew that the succubus would need to process all of this alone and so she decided not to take the events of that night so personally.

But a few days later and Lauren tried calling, Bo wouldn't answer her phone. And when she called Kenzi, the goth girl always had a reason for Bo's "absence."

And the small pain she was ignoring just grew bigger and more agonizing until it threatened to consume her. It was awful, this pain. It was familiar and yet it was also new. This time, there was no more barrier to hide from, no Nadia to use as an excuse or the false vows to remain friendly. She had bared her heart to Bo and the succubus had what?

Lauren felt something from her and she knew she wasn't mistaken. When they had kissed and Bo kept whispering her name, she was sure she'd heard the love in the succubus' voice; adoration, care, awe... they echoed each other's feelings.

She felt like her heart would tear in two at the thought of Bo suddenly changing her mind. What if Bo had decided that she wasn't worth it after all? What if she was just a burden, in the end? A distraction, Bo called her.

Lauren began to doubt herself then. She knew that Bo was important to the cause; she still believed that and she didn't want to jeopardize everything with her presence. Bo was the champion of the fae and she was only a single human. Bo wouldn't choose her over them. She couldn't.

And yet, even with the depressing thoughts plaguing her, Lauren tried to persist in contacting Bo. But the longer time passed without Bo's acknowledgment, Lauren's insecurities only grew and she began to get more irritable and paranoid.

So in an effort to save her sanity, she threw herself into her work.

xxx

"So, what are we looking at?"

"According to the information we have right now, we're fairly sure that we can contain the damages of the war from human detection."

"Well, you better be sure because we don't need to face the human's scrutiny at this point. Fighting the Garuda would already consume all our resources and we don't need to face two fronts. We're not even sure about the Dark's cooperation, as it is."

"The Morrigan's still refusing to entertain the Ash?"

"They're meeting once in a while but nothing's happening." The one who spoke this time was the current Ash's assistant as he informed the Light committee of updates regarding the Ash's movement.

This Light committee meeting reminded Lauren of another meeting from almost a year ago, when the compound was bombed by a rebel Dark fae in an attempt to cause a war between the two clans. There were a few new faces, like the Ash's assistant and a couple of the diplomats and their lieutenants, but Lachlan hadn't seen fit to change the rest of the compound's department heads.

Last time, they were taken completely by surprise and had to scramble in barely concealed panic while they dealt with the chaos left by the bomb attack. This time, there was still tension but there was also a fierce sense of determination in the air. They weren't just reacting blindly to a threat but preparing for it carefully.

Incidentally, the Ash wasn't in attendance and neither were the Elders. They had their own meetings but they can't be expected to implement their decisions themselves. That job was left to their lackeys; hence the reason for this meeting. The whole method was slightly strange to Lauren who was used to reporting only to the Ash. While she knew most of the people in the committee, she had never worked with all of them at once - except the one time last year. Apparently during war/crisis times, they needed to be synchronized to work efficiently.

Her musings cut short when the report about the troops came up.

"We're pretty sure that his base is somewhere in the city," said the representative from the intelligence office, a sneaky-looking fellow, whom Lauren was sure shapeshifted into a rat form.

"You better be. I'm trying to pull more troops from other countries and cities but I can't take all of them," Serena offered. She had retained her position as the Ash's head of guard. "We can't leave the Elders and families vulnerable."

"How many do we have right now?"

"Fifty for now, but I'm not counting the private guards."

"By the way, what do we know about the strength of the enemy's army?"

"It's growing daily. He's got almost all berseker clans already and some other underfae."

"What about our troops? What are we doing to protect them?" Jeremy Volpe asked. As Chief of Staff, he was considered the temporary leader of the committee and along with Serena, they were both responsible for the logistics of the war.

At this question, everyone turned to look at Lauren who paused to clear her throat. "As you were all informed of, I had been trying to study the effects of the Garuda's powers and they way it fed on anger and fear. Unfortunately for us, there was practically nothing on this subject in the fae library. With the exceptions of a few folk stories passed down through generations of fae, we still have no idea how the Garuda's powers work."

"You haven't discovered anything? Nothing at all?" one diplomat asked in a disturbed tone of voice.

"With more time, I could..." Lauren tried to say but was immediately cut off by a furious diplomat.

"We don't have time! The war is almost upon us! What use is your division if you couldn't even..."

"That is enough." Marcus Chase, the Ash's chief legal council, interrupted in a tone that no one dared contradict. "We are here to make sure we're fully prepared for the war, not blame others for things beyond their control." They all fell silent for while before Chase gestured for Lauren to continue.

Lauren nodded. "Yes, as I was saying, there's not a lot of information on the Garuda. However, I do have some theories. I figured that they couldn't hurt our operations if we implement some of them."

"Let's hear them then," Volpe said.

"I've been studying the recent bodies we've been receiving lately, casualty of violent fights and whatnot and they have all shown signs of heightened hormones relating to fear and aggression. I wasn't sure how the Garuda triggers this response and how far his range of influence is, but..." Lauren hesitated a little but continued when she saw Jerry's friendly look. "I had this idea that the Garuda was the epicenter and like an earthquake, he was sending waves that affected people's aggression levels. If we could somehow interrupt this signal, just a tiny bit would probably be enough to help distract him from constantly feeding on our emotions."

"That's certainly a novel idea. And every little bit helps," Serena said, slightly impressed. "Most of us are already aware that going against the Garuda is suicide."

One irate-looking diplomat cut in. "Yes! And yet the Ash would still insist on that succubus to accompany us? No, he is even demanding that she lead our army! What in the gods name is he thinking?"

"He's not thinking clearly. The stress must have gotten to him. Like the Garuda, he is the last of his kind and the responsibility is too much. He's just passing it on to this new girl." Another person piped up.

Lauren gritted her teeth and only managed to contain the outrage she felt at that dig on Bo's (and Lachlan's) capabilities.

It was a good thing too because Chase had spoken quickly to stop the new line of discussion. "Careful Penwood, that sounds too close to treasonous talk."

The diplomat, Penwood, ducked his in embarrassment.

Serena glared at him for good measure before continuing, "What the Ash decides is not for us to debate. That's between him and the Elders." And then she gave small shrug. "Bo's not too bad anyway. She's a greenhorn but she's got skills. And her power lies in lust, that maybe enough to counteract the Garuda's influence."

Lauren heard someone mutter, "What is she gonna do? Seduce him to death?" but didn't see who it was. The rest of the group ignored the comment as well and Volpe spoke again.

"Dr. Lewis, can you tell us how this theory of yours will work in practical terms?"

xxx

A week later, Bo came to her without a word in advance. Lauren had been in the shower, her mind preoccupied by the news she had just received. The Dal had been attacked by berserkers and Hale had been injured; not too bad that he needed to be carted back to the compound but bad enough that they had to call her in. Lauren would have hurried straight there except she had the unfortunate experience of accidentally smelling herself. She had winced at her ripe scent and flushed in embarrassment (even though there wasn't anyone around to be conscious of). The last few days had been spent in isolation as Lauren struggled with her workload and the demands of the secret "project". Unfortunately, the only result was a rather messy apartment and a lapse in proper hygiene.

She had detoured for a fast bath and was startled out of her thoughts by the soft click of her front door opening. Slightly alarmed, Lauren didn't bother drying herself and quickly stepped into her robe before venturing carefully to check out the strange sound. When she only saw Bo standing there in her living room, all thoughts of apprehension and dread left, replaced by a burgeoning anger. While parts of her still delighted in seeing the succubus again, the larger part of Lauren was galled by the woman's actions. How dare she come in to her house after ignoring her for so long?

Lauren didn't even startle when the surprised succubus drew a knife on her, letting her ire simmer to a boiling point.

"Sorry," Bo offered lamely. "The door was open so I thought..."

"I'm late, Bo," Lauren cut in rudely, her voice cold and sharp. "Trick told me there was an attack and that Hale was hurt."

"Oh," Bo said and fell silent for a little while. "About last time, I wanted to tell you... I, about what you said and what...happened..." Bo stuttered.

Lauren cut her off once again. "I don't think Hale could afford us having this conversation now."

Bo flushed under her stare and for a moment, Lauren rejoiced in that reaction. She felt different, vindictive. She was so tired of feeling sad and lost and unhappy, and so she embraced this anger coursing through her now.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I meant... are you okay?" Bo said bravely, trying again. Her face was a complicated mixture of stubbornness, concern and wariness.

"I really don't want to talk about this right now," Lauren said, in her perfect ice queen doctor voice that everyone in the compound would have recognized (This was the doctor persona that Dyson knew and disliked). It felt strange to don this mask again, and cut herself off from her emotions to protect herself from the fae. It was stranger still, and more upsetting, that she had to use this tactic to protect herself from this particular fae. She had never really been cautious of Bo like this before.

Lauren deliberately went to pull the front door open in a silent demand to be left alone. "I just need to go back to work and be of some use."

"Lauren, the attack today at the Dal happened because of a leak in our camp," Bo said instead, just now getting to the point as she realized that the doctor was seriously angry and wouldn't listen to anything but business.

Lauren sighed at that and closed her eyes against the sudden ache that throbbed in her skull. "What are you really saying, Bo?"

The succubus hesitated for a bit before she finally said, "The leak must've come here in the compound. After the Glaive last week, I'm concerned about the security..."

"It's not that easy, Bo," Lauren said, her tone becoming less frosty and more weary. "With the Garuda's ability to take over any person that was sufficiently under his influence, we can't really determine how much he actually knows of our operations. Of course, we're trying to minimize the gaps but..."

"Wait," Bo demanded, coming nearer. "What? The Garuda can take over any person? How did we not know this?"

"Lachlan knew," Lauren said simply. "I assumed he'd informed you." She listened passively as the succubus cursed the Ash colorfully and then she said, "Bo, I have to go."

"Lauren..."

"I have to get to work," Lauren continued, finally allowing herself to gaze directly at Bo's eyes. She felt a biting pang in her chest at the sight of those warm orbs but forced herself to ignore it and looked away. With a final jerk of her head, Bo took the hint this time and walked out. Lauren could feel Bo trying to meet her eyes again but she kept her face turned away until the succubus left.

xxx

Lauren came back to utter chaos. One moment she was at the Dal, treating Hale's injuries and trying not to stare at Bo too much (she pretty much failed if Ciara's sympathetic look was any indication. And by the way, since when had that fairy been back?) and then the succubus was pushing at Dyson and they were gone.

She had been disappointed but decided that it was all for the best because she couldn't concentrate with Bo in the room. Still, even without her physical presence, the succubus haunted Lauren's thoughts. She found herself thinking of their encounter this morning, and how she had treated Bo. The anger that had sustained her earlier had disappeared and Lauren could only feel torn and guilty about it now. Rationally, she knew that Bo had been avoiding her and ignoring her calls. She knew too that Bo had only come to her because she had been fishing for information about a possible leak in their camp.

All of these things justified her anger but parts of Lauren also felt that giving in to that anger had been wrong. It had felt like weakness, in fact. She had always, always been able to bend, to adapt. She had felt despair and sadness and even hopelessness over her impossible situation with the fae but she had rarely felt anger. And whenever she did, she considered that a loss and felt disappointed with herself. Being angry meant losing control; it meant allowing someone to affect her so much that she would feel the need to strike back at them and for someone like Lauren, that was just unacceptable. She wasn't a violent person and she firmly believed in turning the other cheek. She was logical and she used her wits to defend herself. She would sooner show her hurt or upset or just plain boredom in front of others but her anger was hoarded and buried deep. That was why she hadn't been really surprised that Raynard chose to stick inside of her. (A small part of Lauren wondered if she had always been this way or if the fae had exacerbated this tendency. She honestly couldn't remember anymore.)

She was still thinking about Bo when she arrived at the compound and noticed the mayhem around her. Confused, she stopped the first person she saw and asked for its reason.

"Dr. Lewis! Didn't you hear? We're attacking the Garuda tomorrow!"

"What?" Lauren yelped in surprise. Last she'd heard they didn't even know where his lair was and now they're going on full attack mode? Before she could ask the fae to elaborate, he was already gone in a rush.

Now even more confused and worried, Lauren headed straight to the Ash's office. She wasn't normally one to barge in uninvited, even with the old Ash, but Lauren disregarded caution for now and entered without knocking. There, she found Lachlan conferring (more like arguing though) with Jerry and Serena, but as soon as he saw her, he dismissed them immediately.

Lauren only waited until the door closed behind the others before she started, "We're attacking the Garuda? What happened?" But Lachlan cut her off immediately with a raised hand.

"Lauren, stop. I have made my decision."

Lauren furrowed her brows as she stared at Lachlan. He had looked stressed earlier, when he was fighting with Serena and Jerry but now he only looked deflated. She couldn't help the worry that settled in her chest. "What's wrong? What happened?" she asked again.

Lachlan reached out to cover his face and let loose a big sigh. "It's been a long day, Dr. Lewis..."

"Please, Ash," Lauren found herself pleading. She waited a few tense moments but her soft tone seemed to do the trick because Lachlan waved at her to sit down.

"The Garuda is nearby... his presence is affecting me, my judgements. " He hesitated for a while and then continued, "I almost forced the Blood King to use his powers today, to give us an edge in the battle."

At that confession, Lauren struggled not to react. Still, she must have made a strange expression because Lachlan laughed bitterly at her. "Yes, I understand your horror, doctor. Even now, I don't quite believe myself capable of it." His words seemed certain but Lauren noticed his gaze resting on his wooden chest.

"Has the Garuda always affected you this way?" Lauren asked instead, not wanting to dwell on the possible repercussions if Lachlan had succeeded in using Trick.

"Yes. No," Lachlan stood up to pace. "We always felt when he was near but we have never lost control like I did earlier. I suppose that my brothers' presence helped... I didn't realize that this would happen..."

Silence fell as they both contemplated his statement; Lachlan getting mired in his old grief and Lauren pondering the implications of the Garuda's influence.

She broke it first. "What about the attack? Why are we moving up the timetable? You know I still haven't made much progress with the venom yet."

Lachlan didn't even bother chastising her for that, which he usually did. It was another sign to how affected he had been by his loss of control earlier. Lauren tried not to worry more.

"Dyson was here. He said that the wolf spirit has come to him and declared him champion. He claims that he is the one who will defeat the Garuda and has declared his intention to battle him tomorrow."

Even Lauren couldn't keep her composure at that bland, matter-of-fact explanation. "He what? Is he... what is he thinking? He can't be... But the Nain Rouge and Bo?"

Lachlan gave a smirk at her impotent stuttering before he continued more seriously. "The wolf spirit is a divine being and if this is what she foretold, then who am I to defy her?"

"But the Nain Rouge is also...!"

"I know," Lachlan said, "I don't understand it either but... obviously, I have been mistaken." He looked away, his gaze becoming contemplative. "Perhaps the others were right to suggest that I am cracking under the stress of this war. That I have just been pushing my responsibilities to the unaligned succubus..."

"Don't be stupid."

The words were out before Lauren could think to censor herself. She inwardly cringed at her impulsive mouth but maintained a calm air as she faced Lachlan's surprised and offended visage.

"Excuse me? I didn't just hear you call me stupid, did I, Dr. Lewis?" his voice became smoother and slithery, marking him at his most dangerous.

Lauren swallowed nervously but forged on. "The Nain Rouge had come to both you and Bo. She had been lurking around Bo for months now! But now all of a sudden, the wolf spirit has a grand prophecy about _Dyson_ being our saviour? It doesn't make any sense." At Lachlan's silence, Lauren continued, "Why would you trust his words now and change the whole plan accordingly? We aren't ready yet!"

"Because he believes it!" Lachlan finally burst out, his temper getting the better of him. "Worst of all, the Blood King is also inclined to believe it. Dyson will attack the Garuda tomorrow regardless of whether I support him or not." He began to pace again, his jaw cracking once in a while as he flashed his teeth. "And Bo will go with him. You know she would. She wouldn't just abandon him like that."

The way the Ash said that last line accidentally hurt Lauren. Lachlan wasn't even referring to Bo and Dyson's former romantic relationship, he just meant that Bo was fiercely loyal to her friends and yet... Lauren could feel the pain blossoming inside her.

"I know," she admitted, struggling to ignore her chaotic feelings and concentrate on the matter at hand. "Why not detain him then? Put Dyson in the dungeons so he couldn't go charging blindly at the enemy?"

As soon as she said it, Lauren knew that she had crossed a line. It was unintentional and probably borne only from her desperation but she flinched at the words anyway. Lachlan though, seemed amused. He gave her another smirk, relaxing from his rigid posture and went to sit back down on his chair.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Dr. Lewis," he said, almost grinning now, enjoying her embarrassed expression. And then he became serious again, leaning on his elbows as he clasped his hands together. "I had considered the notion, of course, but I cannot be so rash as to discredit the wolf's spirits words altogether. What if she was right after all and I abandoned Dyson because of my pride?" He shook his head. "No, I'm hedging my bets, Lauren. I will send support with them tomorrow and begin the planned evacuation for the rest of the Light fae."

Lauren wanted to open her mouth again and argue but she was all out of reasons for now and could only look at him helplessly. Lachlan gave her an inscrutable look and said, "Go. Be with Bo, or something. Enjoy this last night."

Shocked, Lauren tried to argue weakly, "But the venom...?"

"Go."

Lauren gave him a final look before she simply nodded and left.

xxx

Lauren hesitated on Bo's doorstep for more than a few minutes, running her fingers unconsciously through her hair at odd intervals as she debated with herself. It took a couple more tries before she gathered her resolve to knock, only to be met by a fierce looking succubus brandishing a sharp katana. Strangely enough, the odd sight only served to reassure Lauren and she felt herself relax.

"Can I come in?" Lauren asked, offering a small smile.

Bo looked embarrassed and put down her blade. "Of course." She moved to allow the doctor in and Lauren entered slowly, looking around for Kenzi. The goth girl wasn't in the living room but it wasn't that late for what she remembered as Kenzi's bedtime so the chances of them being alone in the house was high. That bit of knowledge drove her nerves up again and caused Lauren to gracelessly blurt out, "Do you have anything to drink?"

Bo was looking at her with a mixture of disbelief and tenderness but she snapped at that and haltingly said, "Yeah. Actually, I... think it might be under my bed. I'll be right back."

Lauren watched her go, almost running up the stairs and settled herself on the couch. In a burst of inane fancy, she petted the couch cushions and whispered, "Hey, old bed," before drawing her hand away and flushing in mortification. Thankfully, by the time Bo came down, she had somewhat recovered and even managed to procure two shot glasses for them to use.

Bo didn't say anything. She only sat down on the far end of the couch, poured Lauren a drink and watched the doctor down it with a faint grimace.

"Boy, I needed this," Lauren confessed, letting the hot burn of the tequila soothe her anxious nerves. Bo stayed silent and only looked at her but her piercing gaze just made Lauren uncomfortable. It was all wrong and she fought the urge not to fidget visibly. Lauren let Bo fill her shot glass twice more just so she could keep her hands busy.

She had always loved Bo's gaze on her and had always been aware of that special look that seemed almost touchable in its intensity. It was different today, though. Lauren felt naked under it and she was aware of a feeling of shame bubbling up inside her.

A week ago, she had confessed to Bo and the succubus had kissed her and then ran away from her. But that was before Bo had also revealed that information about her freedom from the fae. Lauren had tried to give the succubus her space and waited patiently but Bo had ignored her. And now she had come here to... beg for something. She felt defeated. She knew what she wanted to say and it made her feel afraid and pathetic.

"You've been working so hard lately, you and Lachlan, to prepare for this war. You're so brave and strong. Honestly, you're the strongest person I've ever met," Bo finally said gently but earnestly. Her eyes held warmth and tenderness and pity. Lauren hated seeing it there.

"Do you know I went home and did my hair, before I came over here?" she asked all of a sudden.

Bo looked startled at the change of topic but gamely chuckled. "Well, it looks great."

"No. I didn't, mean... thank you." Lauren didn't know how to begin properly. How could she explain her whirling thoughts ever since Lachlan urged her to come here? "It's just that my brain never really shuts off, well you know, not literally but... I mean, my thoughts just whirl around all the time about all of sorts of things and I actually researched the term Stockholm syndrome because it was in my head a lot these days and I do that, I look up stuff that uh, bothers me.

Bo's expression dropped, and she looked wary and confused. "Oh."

Lauren only continued. "That term was actually a fairly new invention and was only coined in August of 1973 from an incident regarding a bank robbery in Stockholm that involved hostages. It was used to described the puzzling phenomena of the captives actually siding with their captors and defending them. At the time, most people thought it was a freak incident but it has since been proven to be a common occurrence. It makes you wonder what they used to call that kind of behaviour before, or if they even recognized the behaviour if there was no name to refer to it? Kinda like the chicken and egg thing, I guess? I always picked egg too, you know. Not the literal egg but the ova is more believable considering the theory of all life climbing out of a murky pool at the beginning of the universe, from single-celled prokaryotes..."

Lauren was aware that she had started to go off-topic but she felt relieved when she saw Bo's face. Her rambling seemed to have done its trick of relaxing the succubus, despite the subject matter she'd brought up.

"I love it when you totally geek out," Bo admitted, unable to help herself from smiling.

Lauren paused to take a deep breath and swallowed the flaring pain inside her to say, "I don't think I have Stockholm syndrome, but I still want to stay with the fae, Bo. I don't want to leave and hide just to be safe. I'm, I mean, I thought about it, believe me, I did but..." she faltered and bit her lip, looking at the ground to avoid the succubus' gaze. "Do you hate me for choosing this life?"

Lauren jerked in surprise when she felt Bo's hands land on her shoulders and got caught in the other woman's intense look. "Lauren, no! No! Don't ever think that. I don't hate you, I can't." There was something in Bo's eyes that eased the clenching ache in Lauren's heart and gave her hope. She gladly leaned forward when Bo pulled her into a hug and almost sobbed out loud at the succubus' soft whisper. "I love you too."

It was a blur after that and Lauren couldn't think anymore, she could only feel (she felt so light like she could float and so full like she would burst) and then they were kissing and murmuring "I love yous" every time they pulled apart for air and they were moving haphazardly, bumping into things until they were on Bo's bed. But then somehow, the frantic tension dissolved between them and Lauren found herself cuddled instead on Bo's larger frame, her head pillowed under a soft breast. She could still hear Bo's pounding heart, beating faster than normal and she knew that it wouldn't take much to push them both over the edge and let their desires overwhelm them.

But they only stayed that way and Lauren felt more certain that this was real and not a fluke. She loved having sex (making love) with Bo but this, being in the succubus' arms and held like she was something to be cherished? This was a luxury that she never had before. They had hugged before and even slept together after that explosive night, but in one case the contact was too short and in the other, she was unconscious and wasn't able to bask (although she did remember waking up from the best sleep ever that day).

"You would think that with Lachlan being so preoccupied with the Garuda, I'd take this chance to escape," Lauren said softly, after a few minutes of comfortable silence between them. "But I don't. I want to believe that I'm doing something important, that I'm playing a vital role in all of this. And maybe you'd also think that I should have enough of the fae controlling my life that I'd want to leave, for good. But I don't." She fidgeted a bit and felt Bo's hand on her back, rubbing her in comfort. "I don't want you to think I'm weak or pathetic, that I'd gotten used to being a slave or having a master... I don't want you to pity me, Bo."

"No. Never," Bo affirmed immediately. Lauren felt Bo take a deep breath and heard her say, "Whatever you decide, whatever happens, we're in this together. I love you, Lauren." Lauren looked up just as Bo was leaning down and they kissed gently for a few seconds. Lauren cuddled closer, finally letting go of the doubts that lingered inside her. "I love you too," she whispered back, still feeling that thrill, of having these words spoken after being suppressed for so long.

But the mood shifted and another sort of fear dropped into her heart when Bo quietly mumbled, "Let's just hope that Dyson really is the chosen one."

xxx

When Lauren came back in the morning, the compound was still buzzing with activity. She didn't bother stopping anyone this time, or even reporting back to Lachlan. She just hurried straight to her room and began working on the venom again. Bo and the others won't be able to use it today - and maybe they wouldn't need to if Dyson succeed - but it was still important and she needed to finish it soon.

But mostly, the project was an ideal distraction. She didn't want to think of Bo and the others facing the Garuda in less than two hours and she was hoping that if she filled her thoughts with coagulants and venoms, she wouldn't remember how they had said goodbye that morning.

She had to trust that Bo would be able to take care of herself and that the troops that Lachlan sent with them would be able to do protect them and do their job better with the new tools and modifications that Lauren and the others had researched and implemented.

xxx

She got the message at around two in the afternoon and had to blink tiredly at the small screen of her phone before it truly registered. She had practically glued herself to the microscope since arriving, analyzing the different venom samples but so far, she still hadn't made too much progress.

Lachlan's summons was a great way to stretch her stiff muscles but she also felt dread settle in her gut at the thought of meeting him. Did he have information on the attack? He must have. Lauren wasn't sure if she wanted to be updated or remain in the dark in blissful ignorance.

She hadn't quite made up her mind when she finally got to the office and saw Trick standing beside a kneeling Lachlan. His wooden chest was open but it was facing away from her and she couldn't see the contents.

"You're here, let's get this started shall we?" Lachlan said, flashing the syringe and vials in his hands as he closed the chest lid and stood up.

"What are you doing?" Trick asked suspiciously.

Lauren was confused. "But we just..." she shot a quick glance to Trick but decided that it probably didn't matter if the Blood King knew at this point. "...took some two days ago," she finished.

"It's always better to have more, right?" Lachlan asked offhandedly. He was already positioning himself and gesturing for her to come closer.

Lauren hesitated, feeling that there was something off in the situation. Trick didn't say anything else but his expression was grim and disapproving. But when Lachlan made an impatient sound, she hurried to his side and almost automatically began the venom extraction. When she had filled the two vials, she stepped back to watch Lachlan massage his jaw.

"It's probably going to be sore for a couple of days," she said almost apologetically, "We took too much in such a short time... " She shook her head and stared at the Ash, "I don't understand. Why did we have to take a new batch today?"

"Because there will be no more chances later," was Lachlan's cryptic reply. Lauren was still confused and she could only watch as the Ash moved quickly to his desk, seemingly tidying up. "You are dismissed, doctor." He looked at her and seemed to hesitate before he finally said, "It's been an honor working with you, Lauren."

The confusion in Lauren grew into full blown worry at those words. "Ash, Lachlan, what...?"

"You are dismissed, doctor," Lachlan said, cutting her off. "Better secure those vials soon."

She still wanted to argue with him and ask for a proper explanation but the need to obey was deeply ingrained and she saw the logic in his remark. She bowed once and left quickly.

xxx

A while later, Trick called her on the cell phone and asked her to come back to the throne room. Lauren had been mulling over Lachlan's words over the last hour and so she wasn't completely surprised to find him dead on the floor. What surprised her was the genuine grief she felt for his loss.

She heard Bo talking before she even came in and saw the succubus kneeling by Lachlan's headless body. "...that I was the champion. But I wanted it to be someone else, Trick. I needed, I needed to give it away." Lauren could clearly hear the upset and regret in the succubus voice and she yearned to comfort her.

"You are the champion. A good man just gave his life away to prove it," Trick said, trying to be supportive.

Lauren was again surprised at herself. She felt the urge to talk back to Trick and ask, why then did he allow Dyson to go off and challenge the Garuda? Everyone knew that Dyson listened to his counsel above all others. And why wait until Lachlan sacrificed himself before telling Bo she was the champion?

She suppressed her rebellious thoughts, recognizing that this wasn't the time for them. She had to stay strong still, for Bo and the others, when they came back to lick their wounds (and oh she hoped that they would come back and not lie dead in some filthy place) but the sight of Lachlan's body was affecting her more than she anticipated.

Lauren didn't like the guy. In fact, she felt hatred for him a couple of times in their short acquaintance. And yet, she still mourned for him and there were tears in her voice when she crouched beside Bo and reached out to hold her shoulder. "Bo, the Garuda thinks the venom is gone. He'll thinks he's invincible." Lauren flashed a venom vial that she had accidentally taken with her when she got the summons.

"We have an advantage," Lauren said, trying to sound confident. And then her voice turned soft and she tried to pour all her love into her gaze to reassure Bo. "Together, right?"

She breathed a sigh of relief at Bo's small nod and finally stepped away.

A few seconds later, it became clear that there were more immediate problems to be solved because Kenzi turned out to be missing. Lauren wasn't upset and didn't even try to stop Bo when she decided to charge back to the Garuda's lair and find her best friend.

She just gave Trick a small, understanding shrug and said, "I'll ask someone to take care of Lachlan and uh, find Serena and get an update on the guards' status."

There was more work to be done, after all.

* * *

><p>AN2: Yey! Doccubus is now official! (in this fic, at least) And it only took me what? 34 chapters? :D

This has been a very hard chapter to write but I think it's worth it. I actually feel a bit proud that I was still able to use most of the dialogue from the show to fit my version of the story. :) (I gave myself bonus points for making sure that Bo still said those words - "whatever happens, we're in this together..." - and that I didn't have to change or cut them out.)

I hope the way I changed that angsty "can I sleep with you?" scene is still sufficient. In writing this chapter, I had to watch that whole scene again and I briefly regretted the fact that I saved Nadia because the angst was so delicious and watching Lauren break down was so good. But then I just thought to shift her anguish to something else and I hope I pulled it off. It just seemed like my Lauren would feel a bit insecure about choosing the fae again - after all, that's why Nadia dumped her the first time and in some ways, Nadia and Bo have kinda similar feelings over the fae - hence the small discussion on Stockholm syndrome.

(By the way, I don't think Lauren has Stockholm syndrome - both my version and the one from the show. Just clarifying that part.)

Let's all hope I get the next chapter out much faster. Although, now that I think about it, I'm probably subconsciously dragging my feet with the updates because I don't want this to end soon. (sigh) It would be sad to see it end for good but I do have other plot bunnies so don't worry, I'm not disappearing forever yet after this is finished.

Cheers,

rabastan04


	35. Two Funerals, a Succubus and a Doctor

A/N: Okay, I know I'm totally lame for such a late update and I can only apologize again. First I was sidetracked by the idea that prompted the Fae Beer Bad fic and then the Olympics happened and now it's a new job that's screwing with my sleeping schedule. Anyway, I just wanted to thank those who are still bothering to read this story.

Part of the blame should be on the chapter itself, as well. It just wouldn't quit. Bo and Lauren just kept stealing the story from me and the plot (there's lots of Doccubus dialogue so that's kinda a bonus for you guys as a sorta bribe for the long wait).

Last thing: this is unbeta'ed again and I mean super unbeta'ed. I just knew that if I stopped to edit it, I wouldn't be able to post it tonight and maybe the next few nights so I just posted it now, regardless of errors so please be patient.

Anyway, on with the show. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>48<p>

Lauren was busy; perhaps busier than she'd ever been this whole year, including the day of the compound's bombing. After that brief moment with Bo before the succubus ran off to find Kenzi, Lauren barely found time to herself.

First, she had to make sure that Lachlan's body was taken care of, and then she had to coordinate with Serena as the first of their many wounded came back from the fight.

The ifrit had sent over forty soldiers to the Garuda's lair as Bo's backup and almost one-third never made it out of there alive. The rest were a broken mess and it had been a pitiful and heartbreaking sight to see them limp back to the compound. Even with her professionalism, Lauren had been shaken to see the results of the battle in the form of the wounded. She was a doctor, yes and she was familiar with most diseases known to man and fae, and she never really flinched anymore at the presence of bloody guts and pus-filled gore. When she was a mere intern, she had seen her share of trauma-filled wards - victims of accidents and violence.

But Lauren had also quickly realized that war brought out a different set of casualties. It was one thing to see a fae kill, or a bunch of mangled bodies after a car crash - it was another thing altogether to see so many fall because of a senseless war and see the marks of brutality on the men's bodies and figure out that their opponents had enjoyed unleashing their chaotic destruction. Lauren couldn't help but notice and _feel_ for those under her care: the dazed look in their eyes as they realized that somehow they had survived an encounter with a Garuda and then the pained and guilty aftertaste as they remember their friends who didn't.

The only good news that Lauren had held on to amidst the choking atmosphere of defeat was that the suggested modifications for their armor seemed to have worked. They weren't sure yet how effective the armor was beyond the small comments from the coherent soldiers but it had been a nice feeling to have managed at least one thing right.

When Lauren had theorized that the Garuda was sending telepathic waves of influence to trigger fear and aggression, she had also suggested that perhaps a helmet could be modified to send out subliminal sound waves to "disrupt the signal" from the Garuda. The tech department had been all over her idea, improving the concept to better protect their troops. Meanwhile, the magic department had also suggested carving runic symbols of protection and confidence on the body armor as extra precaution.

Lauren had spent hours and hours bent down, saving all she could and trying even with those she knew was beyond her reach. Unfortunately for her, since the compound was the base headquarters, everyone knew to return there first. Her staff then had to triage the wounded and those able to travel had been sent to smaller, nearby fae clinics. She had been left with the serious, need-to-be-seen-asap cases and even with a great team with her, Lauren had lost a fair number of patients.

But even afterwards, when the last patient was tended to and made comfortable, she hadn't allowed herself to rest yet. Lauren went back to her rooms and felt too weary and soul sick after all she had dealt with that day that she was determined to bury those feelings by working on the venom again. If she could determine, once and for all, how to stabilize the coagulation process then all their sacrifices wouldn't have been in vain.

In the morning though, she only found herself passed out on her desk with an aching, stiff neck, nowhere near enough to solving the puzzle, and rudely woken by the phone with a gruff voice on the other end summoning her to attend a meeting in an hour.

Lauren had tumbled into the shower and then downed two cups of coffee before she felt marginally human again and ready to face the challenges of the new day.

xxx

The meeting was grim, as Lauren had already expected, but it also held a touch of bitterly amused irony that she wasn't sure she completely approved of. Everyone had come in conscious of yet _another_ loss of an Ash and one diplomat had joked about getting used to it, and that at least the high Elders were intact this time, in an effort to break the gloomy atmosphere.

Most of the people in the room had found themselves snickering slightly in reaction. Lauren knew that part of it was a form of coping with the recent tragedy but the other part was the _sheer ridiculousness_ of it all. Two Ashes to be replaced in less than a year. The former Ash had ruled for centuries and now, Lachlan hadn't even lasted a year of his own.

Briefly, Lauren's thoughts turned to the former Ash and she wondered about her condition. She idly wondered if there was a chance he could come back and become Ash again but she dismissed it and concentrated on the meeting.

The first order of business was the soldiers' report on the battle. It was a straightforward account and they have more or less predicted the same outcome. The one thing it did confirm was the result of the armor modifications and everyone agreed that it helped control their emotions. The soldiers reported feeling either slightly aggravated or more fearful beyond that of battle-tension but they also felt that it wasn't as bad as it could have been without the added protection.

They couldn't really be sure because no one could test the equipment properly but it did give the others hope that they _could _defeat the Garuda. Of course, the Garuda had also left the battle after the first ten minutes or so to kill the Ash, Lauren thought, but she didn't share that bitter observation.

Next order of business was the planned evacuation of the Elders. For the most part, it was already underway and there were no problems so far. There were also reports that many other fae had begun to leave the city and it brought up an interesting question, do they stay as well or do they leave with the others?

It sparked a semi-debate about the merits of hiding in safety until the worst of it passed and the value of protecting their homes.

"We have been here for centuries, long before humans came to claim this land!" one person argued fiercely. "I am not just going to leave it like a coward!"

"Are you calling me a coward?! I have fought in the war when you were but a youngling!"

"And yet you would hide from the Garuda now?"

"It is not because I want to! It is because he is no foe I, no we, have ever faced before! And we have already suffered a defeat while he grows stronger!"

Lauren wanted to interrupt both and tell them that Bo was still here and that she could, no would, lead them to victory but she held her tongue instead.

The debate ended when Jeremy Volpe got tired of the circular sniping and put a stop to it. "We aren't leaving. Yet. There are things we must accomplish first and we are not yet beaten." He glared at the others, who had good grace to look ashamed at giving up so soon. "We can decide later what to do but for now there are still a few matters of interest we must discuss."

Marcus Chase cleared his throat and spoke up. "Yes, there is still the matter of the dead." At this pronunciation, everyone became quiet and solemn. "This last matter may seem frivolous to you now, considering the times we face," Chase continued, "but we must honour their sacrifices nevertheless." He nodded to Serena who held a list in her hands.

"This is by no means the complete list of the dead," Serena said, "because we cannot fully know how many have fallen because of the Garuda's influence."

Lauren thought of the bodies that she had been studying for months now, the cases that Lachlan had brought to her attention.

"But I have here at least the names of the soldiers that have fallen in battle yesterday," Serena continued. "Their families are on their way to claim them but the office of the Ash should send a representative to their funerals as well to show our support."

Everyone murmured their agreement and Lauren nodded to show hers. But Serena still wasn't finished and she said, "There is one name here though, a body we have retrieved from the Garuda's lair that was not part of my troops."

For a moment Lauren panicked, thinking that it must be Kenzi. She only belatedly realized that Bo hadn't called her yesterday and what if the girl was dead and what would happen to Bo then...

"The fairy warrior, Ciara O'Brien. She had been part of the succubus group," Serena finished, unknowingly stilling Lauren's fears.

Lauren breathed a sigh of relief and she was quick to suggest giving the body to Ciara's friends. As the meeting wound down, she let her mind drift off back to Bo. She had half-forgotten that they had declared their love for each other two days ago. It seemed like such a long time already and felt like a dream. Lauren knew that she should contact the succubus but part of her was reluctant, not sure if it was appropriate with all that they were facing right now.

(After the meeting, when Lauren had returned to her rooms, she would feel slightly guilty at realizing that she hadn't even thought of Dyson's welfare and if he could have been the name on Serena's list.)

xxx

Two days later, Trick held Ciara's funeral at the Dal, the same time that Lachlan's funeral was held at the compound. Lauren had passed by the hall where they had set up the funeral altar but she decided to stop by the Dal first, eager to see Bo.

She had only been able to talk to the succubus by phone the past few days and while Lauren was relieved that Bo was okay, she still wanted to see her. She felt slightly silly that she was missing the other woman badly and when she got to the Dal, she began to worry about how she would conduct herself. Was it okay to kiss her in front of their friends or would she have to make do with a hug?

All her worries were for naught though, when she saw the succubus. Bo greeted her freely with a smile and a kiss that made Kenzi's eyebrows pop up and Hale to smirk.

"Bout damn time," Hale said. "Hello, Doc."

"Hello Hale, Trick. Hey, Kenzi," Lauren nodded, not moving away from Bo's loose embrace.

"Bo-bo, how come you didn't say anything about this," Kenzi motioned with her hand, "happening? Hey, Lauren!"

Bo shrugged and looked at Lauren again, "I forgot?"

"You forgot?!" and then Kenzi sighed and said, "Never mind, not the time and place. But be sure that there will be questions later. Maybe an inquisition too," she added, using two fingers to point to her eyes and back to Bo.

They made their way at the front of Ciara's funeral altar and gazed solemnly at her picture. Lauren couldn't help but notice that despite the serious atmosphere in the room, it was also tinged with a lightheartedness that seemed incongruous in a funeral. But then she remembered that the fae mourned differently because of their long lives; death wasn't a tragedy but a release. They mourned but they also made sure to celebrate the dead fae's life to honor them properly.

"She saved my life Trick," Bo started. "Jumped in front of a Garuda's sword like it was nothing."

Lauren hadn't known about that and she felt grateful and doubly guilty now for the fairy warrior's actions. She squeezed Bo's hands and felt an answering squeeze to reassure her.

"A noble sacrifice. She'd be proud to know it made a difference," Trick said, smiling a little.

Kenzi then commented on Ciara's picture and when Trick mentioned Dyson's name, everybody tensed. Lauren knew that the wolf had been hurt in battle as well but he apparently refused to come to the compound for treatment, weathering the pain on his own as some kind of penance.

"It's a heavy burden, loosing someone you love. Someone you tried to save," Trick commented.

His words suddenly reminded Lauren of Nadia and in a way, she had lost her too, hadn't she? But she couldn't be sorry about that, knowing that Nadia was safer away from her. If Nadia had stayed and the Garuda had somehow hurt her... Lauren couldn't even imagine how that would felt. She thought maybe she would die as well.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Bo's whispered, "When was the last time you saw your bed?"

She sighed a little, knowing that the makeup hadn't fooled the succubus. In their phone calls, Lauren had tried to sound upbeat, not wanting Bo to worry about her too, but she should have known better than to hide her fatigue for long. Bo had always cared about her but it was different now that they were together. Lauren would have to re-learn to get used to it.

"I'll sleep when I've figured out how to stabilize Lachlan's naga venom," she whispered.

"Well, if anyone can nerd out what we need, it's you doc," Kenzi said and it felt like a blessing to Lauren. She gave the goth girl an appreciative smile.

The noisy drunk stumbling in the Dal startled all of them and their twitchy nerves but Hale didn't even look embarrassed at pulling out his gun. He only looked irritated at the man.

"We need to stay on guard," Bo said, a little weary.

"The Garuda's out there, getting ever stronger," Trick said, to which Hale commented sarcastically, "He was plenty strong last time, when he whooped us."

Trick only nodded. There wasn't really anything he could say to that.

xxx

When the toasts were done, Lauren and Bo got themselves a quiet spot on the bar and then for a few minutes, simply basked in each other's presence.

"Bo."

"Lauren," they said at the same time and stopped, smiling at each other.

Bo drew her into a tight hug, "God, I missed you."

"I missed you too," Lauren admitted, inhaling deeply of Bo's scent.

"You look so tired, Lauren... I don't want you to push yourself so hard," Bo said worriedly.

"It's okay, I'm okay, Bo," Lauren said and at Bo's disbelieving look, she continued. "No, really. I'm okay, I'm used to work like this and," Lauren hesitated a little, turning away to drink the rest of her liquor. "We don't exactly have the luxury of relaxing right now. Trick's right. The Garuda is getting stronger the longer we wait..."

"I know," Bo interrupted, gulping down her drink as well. "I know that. And I... I really don't know what to do. I mean I have some ideas..." At this, Bo began to look away, her eyes unfocused as her mind drifted off for a second. "But beyond that..."

Lauren could only sigh at that. She wished she could tell Bo that the venom was ready now and that they could challenge the Garuda anytime, but she knew that the reality wasn't that easy. Even if they did have the venom, it still wasn't a guarantee that everything would be fine.

"I have to talk to Trick," Bo said, standing up. When Lauren turned to follow her, Bo waved her down. "I, I have to do it alone."

At Lauren's confused look, Bo gave her a smile and a kiss and said, "It's one of those ideas I have. I'll tell you about it later, I promise. Stay here and I'll take you to the compound so I can pay my respects to Lachlan too."

"Okay," Lauren said, feeling slightly dizzy by the lip contact. Or maybe it was the booze on an empty stomach? "Okay. I'll be here."

With one last smile, Bo was gone.

xxx

She hadn't been waiting long when Dyson appeared. The music stopped for a couple of seconds as they all acknowledged his entry and Lauren watched as he finally settled on the bar, slumped down in misery.

She approached him carefully and when it looked like he wasn't going to turn her away, Lauren grabbed two glasses, pushing one near him. "Whiskey? My treat," she said, pouring him a measure.

"You buying me a drink, huh? Really must be the end of the world," Dyson commented. Lauren noticed that he couldn't even sound sarcastic. He just sounded... empty. It was startling to match this man to the one who had seemed to enjoy tormenting her.

"You don't have to pretend with me," Lauren said gently, "It's not weak to let it out Dyson, it's human." When Dyson gave a faint smile at her choice of words, Lauren smiled back a little and backtracked, "What I meant was, it takes strength to express your pain, so that you can go on."

"All this and Nadia too," Dyson said, "I heard about her leaving you. I'm sorry, Lauren." He looked sincere and for a moment, Lauren felt another flash of guilt: that her ex was safe and his was not and that she was with Bo now and he didn't even have his love anymore. But she pushed it all away. Now wasn't the time for such thoughts. She only met his sincerity with her own and said, "Thank you."

Kenzi and Hale joined them then, but it was clear that Dyson still blamed himself for everything and he left after a while.

xxx

The drive back to the compound was silent and Lauren hesitated to break it. Bo had looked angry when she came up from Trick's apartment and she was wary of provoking the succubus' temper. Part of her chided against such cowardice but another part was relieved by the freedom from small talk. Finally though, Bo herself broke it.

"I just found out that Trick is my grandfather," she stated casually, manoeuvring around a slow moving truck.

Lauren almost choked on air and did a quick double take to glance at the succubus. "What?!"

"It's true. That's what I was talking about earlier, the idea I had? I originally thought that he was my father but it turns out he was my grandfather instead."

"Did he know who...?"

"No," Bo said, disappointedly. "My mom didn't tell him either."

Both of them fell silent for a while as they paused to consider the implications from this new information. Finally, Lauren ventured slowly. "So... that means you're actually a princess, since Trick was a king."

When she glanced at the succubus, Lauren couldn't stifle her snicker from the shocked, almost appalled look in Bo's face.

"And that means..." Lauren continued, "I'm dating a princess! My girlfriend is a princess!"

"Wha-, I'm not! I'm... Lauren, stop laughing! I'm not!" Bo said, reaching out one hand to slap Lauren lightly.

Lauren affected a mock pout. "I'm not your girlfriend?" She knew she was acting oddly but attributed it to the lack of sleep. Besides, it was fun to tease Bo once in a while, considering that it was usually the other way around.

"Of course not! I mean, yes you're my girlfriend. I meant that I'm not a princess! Stop it! What's gotten into you?" Bo argued back, although Lauren could see that she was trying to suppress a smile of her own now.

Lauren gave her an impish grin and said, "I'm sleep deprived."

When Bo only frowned harder (and Lauren suspected it was only because the succubus could barely stop the wide grin threatening to erupt from her face), she sighed theatrically and said, "Fine. Spoil my fun."

Bo gave her a mock glare that lasted only a second before she reluctantly gave a small grin. "God, I can just imagine Kenzi being all over that information," she paused and then gave Lauren a more genuine glare, "Promise me you won't tell her."

Lauren looked a bit confused, "Not tell her that you're Trick's granddaughter? Wouldn't you want to share that with her, though?"

"No, not that part. The part with the princess. I don't think she'll pick up on that right away and I don't want you to put it in her head if she didn't think of it first," Bo said.

"Oh. Okay."

"Thank you," Bo said, smiling gratefully at Lauren. "And anyway, that's not what we're supposed to think about right now. We have to think of the Garuda and how this new information can be used to defeat him."

At that point, they have already arrived by the compound. Lauren waited until Bo had rounded the car, over to her side, and began to lead the way to the hall where the funeral rites are being held.

"It has something to do with our blood, I think," Bo continued, "I'm just not sure exactly how it's supposed to work yet. I don't get how putting someone under your thrall is supposed to help us stop a Garuda," Bo paused, seeming to think that over and then said, "Well, I guess it would work but I don't think I'd want to bind a Garuda to my will, do I? I mean, how is that supposed to work in the long run? And that's assuming my blood will work on him, and if so, how am I suppose to get a sample inside of him?"

Lauren was rapidly becoming confused at the conversation Bo was conducting with herself. "Bo, I don't understand."

Bo stopped walking and turned to her, surprised. "What?" She crunched her forehead in thought and then, "Oh! Right, yeah, you weren't there with the getting-married-to-Ryan thing so you didn't know..."

"Wait. What getting-married-to-Ryan thing?!" Lauren asked, alarmed.

Bo was forced to relate the whole incident, flinching a little bit on the parts where she fed on Ryan but Lauren wasn't even paying attention to that once she realized what Bo's blood could do. Already, her mind was trying to think of how she could study the blood properties and the several ways it could be used for.

"...so fortunately Kenzi and Trick got there in time to stop us, because you know, a thousand years before being able to divorce someone, talk about awkward," Bo finished. She hesitated and then, "Um, Lauren, nothing happened with him after that. I swear," Bo added, apparently taking her prolonged silence as condemnation.

"Huh? Oh, um, yeah, of course not Bo, I understand that you need to feed and I'm okay with that."

At Bo's disbelieving look, Lauren amended her statement, "Well, not completely okay. Not yet, anyway. But I can work on that later. Right now, I'm more fascinated with your blood. I mean, we know how Trick's blood works but it doesn't work the same with your mother and now you. I would love to be able to make a genetic tree..." Lauren petered off in embarrassment once she saw Bo's raised eyebrow. "Which is really not the point as well. Oh, look, here we are," she finished awkwardly, hurrying towards the hall and forcing Bo to catch up to her.

"There's not as many people as I thought," Bo said, instantly noticing the sparse number of people milling around. Compared to Ciara's wake, and considering that this particular one was for the leader of the Light, it was really quite pathetic and more depressing.

"Lachlan wasn't very well known. Or very well liked," Lauren stated somberly, grabbing some of the mixed dirt and herbs as offering.

"If they only knew he died so we'd have a chance against the Garuda," Bo commented, following her actions as they walked towards the altar where the coffin lay.

"I know a lot of fae are leaving town," Lauren said, carefully peppering her dirt offering over the incense pot.

"Which just leaves us..." Bo said, dropping her own mix into the clay pot unceremoniously. From the corner of her eye, the succubus spotted a newcomer that prompted her to quickly add, "...and the cockroaches!"

Lauren turned around and stopped short. "Morrigan." She turned quickly back to Bo in slight panic, knowing that the succubus was likely to do something rash. "Bo, no!" she warned.

"I have to," Bo said firmly, gently shaking her arm out of Lauren's light hold. "You go ahead." Lauren didn't want to leave but there was something in Bo's eyes that told her the succubus would behave herself. She gave a short nod but before she could leave, Bo pulled her back to whisper. "And don't think I haven't forgotten that you wanted to experiment on me."

Lauren's eyes widened in surprise. "I wasn't! Just your blood! Uh, I mean, not experiment, just study, no uh, just, I mean, it's interesting...?" Lauren finished sheepishly.

Bo gave her a wicked grin that caused an inappropriate heat between her legs. "We'll _talk_ about this later." That sultry voice, whispered directly to her ear caused Lauren to shiver. She watched Bo approach the Morrigan before she managed to stumble away on shaky legs.

xxx

Lauren went back to her rooms with a clear intention of waiting for Bo to fulfill her "promise". Unfortunately, once she sank into her comfortable couch, her body finally rebelled and pulled her into much deserved, long nap. When she woke up, it was already afternoon and for a moment, she panicked, thinking she had missed Bo's arrival (her mind swiftly created a likely scenario where the succubus had knocked on her door and because Lauren hadn't answered, left, angry at being stood up.). But then when she glanced at her phone and saw Bo's message, Lauren's mood dropped in disappointment.

The succubus had apologized, saying that an unexpected errand had come up and that she would have to postpone their "date" for "a little while" (Lauren noted that Bo insisted she was coming back soon, though.). Somewhat miffed, Lauren tried to do a little work in the meantime. It took her longer than usual to get into the zone and she had to consciously stop herself from glancing at the clock and the invitingly, open door every two minutes or so. But once she was fully absorbed into her work, she never noticed the hours passing until someone knocked, startling her.

"Bo! What happened?! Who did this to you?" Lauren asked, noticing the head wound immediately. She hurriedly made her way over to the other woman who gave her a reassuring smile and perched herself on a couch arm. "Oh, it's uh, redcaps. I need..."

"To heal. Yes, of course!" Lauren interrupted and quickly began to unbutton her shirt. (Later on, Lauren would realize that at the moment she made her offer, she hadn't been in anyway turned on - not like she had been earlier while waiting for the succubus. It was just an instinctive response to offer medical help - in whatever form, apparently. She didn't know if she should be disturbed or pleased with herself.)

Bo stopped her quickly, smiling gently. "No! No, I was gonna say an aspirin."

Lauren made a sheepish face and grinned embarrassedly. She went to grab a few antibacterial swabs, a band-aid and the requested medicine. "Right."

Bo followed her with her gaze and tried to explain, "It's not really that bad. Besides Lauren, you know that I would never..." she made a vague gesture but Lauren already understood. Bo wouldn't casually use her like that. Lauren was not and never had been like any other of Bo's numerous conquests for food or healing that was so easily discarded afterwards.

"I know," she replied, waving the moment away. "I'm not thinking clearly. It's the naga venom. I've tried every anti-coagulant known to man and fae and, there's no luck."

Bo hissed and muttered a small "Oww," when Lauren dabbed at her forehead wound. But she also smiled widely when she felt the tender kiss the doctor bestowed on her newly bandaged cut.

"There. You're right, it's not that bad. Should be gone in a couple of hours." Lauren took a step back, sighing heavily, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be complaining of being stressed to you."

Bo took her hand and gave it a small squeeze. "I like it," she admitted, "Makes me forget what's waiting for us out there."

There was a tender look in Bo's eyes that triggered an idea in Lauren's brain. Before they had admitted their true feelings for each other, she had already known that she was important to Bo and that the succubus was attracted to her, despite the rocky moments in their past. Lauren had been aware of the tension between them, even when she was still denying to herself how much she loved the succubus, but perhaps she had also underestimated how much Bo cared for her.

"Do you remember what happened when the Lich tried to force you to feed off of me?" Lauren asked. She didn't fully know why she was bringing this topic up now but it suddenly seemed important to acknowledge it.

Bo looked confused at the random question but answered nevertheless. "Yeah, I sucked the chi out of an entire roomful of people." She was trying to be nonchalant but her unease was still obvious to Lauren.

"It scared the hell out of me," Lauren said, seeing how Bo's eyes dropped at her statement before the succubus also admitted, "Me too. The worst part is I don't know how I did it. Or what triggered my rage."

Lauren couldn't help the smug feeling rise inside her and she let it seep into a small smile, stepping closer to the other woman. "Well, I have a hypothesis," she paused, looking into Bo's eyes. "I think it's because of what we feel for each other."

Lauren saw the instant that Bo's eyes darkened dangerously and her breath caught in her throat. The mood had changed so suddenly that she almost felt dizzy.

"You take my breath away," Bo whispered, staring at her intently. Her gaze was almost tangible and Lauren could swear that she felt it sear her skin.

"Breathless," she whispered back, almost hypnotized by the sight of Bo coming nearer and nearer still, their lips a hair's breadth apart. She could feel the succubus' breath on her face and almost felt scared, like she was facing a wild animal that would devour her in a second. Almost fear but not quite, just enough to send her nerves singing with the tension.

"Completely," Bo said before finally kissing her.

It was... explosive. It was like Lauren had never been kissed before and every feeling became magnified to a hundredth degree. Bo's lips and teeth and tongue - the science-y part of her brain that never rested couldn't understand how such ordinary body parts could produce such a devastating reaction in her. But soon there were no more thoughts, just feelings that made her cling to the other woman in abandon.

When they parted, slightly woozy from the lack of air, an unpleasant thought crossed Lauren's mind. She must have shown it in her expression because Bo asked worriedly, "What is it? Lauren, are you okay? Did I...?"

Lauren cut her off with a quick kiss before Bo could wind herself up with misplaced concern. "Yes. I'm good, great even. I can't even feel my legs after that kiss, Bo."

Bo looked alarmed for a second before she figured out that Lauren wasn't talking in a literal "she got chi-sucked-therefore-weak-legs"; and then she could only smile smugly. But Lauren continued, "It's just that, I wanted to do this some more but I think I just figured out the key to preserving Lachlan's venom."

Bo's face drooped drastically. Lauren instantly backpedalled and gave Bo another quick kiss and a small nuzzle (she told herself it was for comfort but really, Bo's lips were just that addictive) before she said, "I just need a quick minute to jot the idea down and then I'll work on it later! I don't want to stop this." She hugged Bo tighter and sighed, "I want you."

Bo hugged her back for a while before she pulled away. Lauren took that to mean that she had to start writing her ideas down now but Bo stopped her before she could take a step away. "Lauren," Bo sighed, "I want this too, believe me. But maybe it's better to not, I mean, this isn't the time. You need to work on the venom because that's important and..." she hesitated, trying to read Lauren's expression, "I do have more errands..."

Lauren sighed as well but forced herself to swallow her disappointment. Bo was right, this wasn't the time for that. She gave her a small, resigned smile which the succubus returned. Unable to help herself, Lauren stole another quick kiss and gave a murmured "I love you" before she retreated to safety behind her desk. When she looked up, Bo's eyes were twinkling, and she also mouthed "I love you" back to the doctor.

Their earlier disappointment now abated, Bo asked curiously, "How did you figure it out, anyway?" she gestured at the vials containing the naga venom. "If you tell me that it had something to do with my lips, I probably won't believe you."

Lauren grinned at that. "No, nothing to do with your lips. It was something you said about breathlessness and I realized that the naga venom is only de-oxygenated when it's in stasis." She knew she looked too excited for something as simple as de-oxygenation but Bo only had that familiar, adoring smile in her face whenever Lauren did something geeky.

"Glad I could be of help," Bo said sincerely.

Lauren smiled back at her and simply said, "See you soon?"

Bo nodded and began to back away. "See you soon," she promised.

xxx

That promised soon came earlier than she expected.

A mere three hours had passed when Lauren got a mass text message informing her of an important meeting at the Dal. This time they had all gathered together before Bo finally came in, trailed by a sneering Vex.

Lauren was surprised and slightly alarmed by the Mesmer's appearance but she also immediately realized the implications of his presence. Bo's introduction of their newest "member" only confirmed her thoughts but then her mind abandoned the various ramifications of having Vex as a team mate and she focused instead on Bo's halting words.

The succubus was obviously scared and sad over the recent events, her voice trembling a bit, but Lauren could also see how _brave _and_ determined _she was as she finally accepted the mantle of leadership. Despite her own fears, Lauren could feel her heart swelling with pride for Bo and she was glad to stand beside her in this war. Except, before Lauren could say anything, Dyson stole the words right out of her mouth.

There was a look in Dyson's eye that suddenly made Lauren wary. She couldn't figure out what it was but she knew that something had changed in the wolf since she'd last saw him. He looked still looked beat up but also... lighter, like the dark, heavy cloud that burdened him earlier had vanished. And then there was also the way he was looking at Bo and the way he had promised that **he** would be with her 'til the end.

It caused something a lot like a dread to pool in her stomach but she didn't let it show in her voice when Lauren reaffirmed Dyson's vow to include **all** of them.

xxx

That night, she was startled by the sudden knock on her front door. Lauren glanced confusedly at her wall clock and saw that it was already 2 in the morning. After-hours work wasn't unusual in the fae compound but she usually got a warning phone call first before they actually sent someone to come get her. A sudden idea caused her jump to her feet to open the door, all the while hoping that one of her patients hadn't taken a turn for the worse.

But instead of a messenger standing by, there was only Bo, smiling at her.

Lauren smiled back automatically before she blinked in alarm. "Bo? What are you...? Are you okay? Is someone hurt?"

Bo stepped closer to grab and squeeze her hands gently. "Relax, Lauren. I'm fine. Everything's fine."

"Oh. That's good," Lauren said, going back to looking confused.

Bo gave her a teasing smirk. "You know, you're going to give me a complex, with the way you always greet me whenever I come here."

Lauren ducked her head in embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I'm just not used to having actual visitors who come for me and not for Dr. Lewis."

"Then you better get used to it soon because I plan to be here all the time," Bo declared matter-of-factly.

"I can see that," Lauren said, regaining herself to tease back.

It was Bo's turn for a little shyness. "I just wanted to see you," she admitted.

"Oh!" Lauren smiled widely, "Okay, um. Actually, please come in." She stepped aside so the succubus could enter. "Do you want something to drink or..."

"No, I'm good," Bo said, "Kenzi got us some good fake champagne earlier and..." she shrugged.

Still holding Lauren's hand, Bo pulled her gently to the couch. Lauren followed obediently, still smiling a little. "You guys had a mini-party?"

"A pre-fae-apocalypse party," Bo corrected.

"Ah," Lauren said, raising her eyebrow teasingly, "And now you're here?"

Bo grinned but then her expression dimmed a little, "I'm sorry to barge in on you like this. I know it's late..."

"It's okay, Bo. I wasn't sleeping yet, as you can see," Lauren gestured to the same clothes she was still wearing from earlier. "I was working on the naga venom still. I think I can have some samples ready by tomorrow."

Bo looked excited. "Really? Wow. I didn't expect you to finish it so soon. That's really good news, Lauren."

Lauren gave an indifferent shrug but her voice reflected her tiredness. "It's what I do."

Bo didn't miss it. Looking worried now, she scooted closer to the doctor and cupped her cheek. "You need to rest."

"I do. I mean, I had a nap earlier. I'm okay," Lauren said, leaning on the touch and nuzzling Bo's hand. "Tell me why you're here." Lauren's voice was soft but held a hint of demand that, along with her raspy, tired tone, coloured the atmosphere between them with unintended sensuality.

Bo breathed deeply, as though she was trying to control herself, before answering. "Kenzi said something about being with my girl tonight and that I shouldn't be alone. I told her that I wasn't alone and I stayed with her but," Bo paused to look her in the eye, "I realized that I was just waiting for her to fall asleep, that I do want to come here and be with you..." she petered off uncertainly.

Lauren guessed Bo's turmoil immediately. "Bo, it's not a crime to want to spend time with the people you care for, you shouldn't feel guilty about it." She gave Bo a small grin, "Besides, I wouldn't have been good company for you earlier anyway. I was still working on the venom formula."

Bo returned her grin but she still looked a bit serious. "It's not just leaving her like that, that bothers me. It's, uh, you know about Nate right? I just didn't want Kenzi to feel left out just because I have a significant other to spend our last night on Earth."

When Lauren frowned at her over the last phrase, Bo's grin grew wider and she tried to amend statement, "Last night before the big battle?"

"Much better," Lauren said, nodding as she moved forward to hug Bo fully. "For what it's worth though, I'm really glad you came."

Bo only gave a lazy hum of satisfaction and smiled, gathering Lauren to her until their bodies were so close, it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began.

They were silent for a while, basking in each other's presence when Lauren suddenly asked, "How did you get Vex to join the team, anyway?"

"What?" Bo asked, startled and slightly worried. Lauren didn't notice, her mind trying to solve the problem in front of her.

"I've been wondering how you were able to recruit him for a while now," Lauren said, "but I couldn't really figure it out. I know the Morrigan would never willingly hand over his leash to you so... oh Bo," Lauren sat up a bit to look Bo in the eye, "you didn't make a bargain with the Morrigan, did you?"

Bo fidgeted under that stare. Lauren, who up until then hadn't really believed her own theory, pulled away from the succubus completely. "Bo! Tell me you didn't?!"

"No! No. It's not like that, Lauren, I swear," Bo said immediately, pulling Lauren back to her. "It's... I did make a deal but it's really complicated."

Lauren looked worried and exasperated. "You made a complicated deal?"

"No! No, just... ugh! She wanted something from the Ash's vault in exchange for Vex so..."

"You stole from the Ash's vault?!" Lauren's voice rose in panic and frustration.

"Shh! Lauren! Somebody will hear you!" Bo said quickly, barely resisting the urge to cover Lauren's mouth with her hand. She knew that if she did, the chances of the doctor biting her for real were high - she looked that irritated.

"How did you even know where... ugh damn it. The map I gave you last year so you can borrow the Koushang," Lauren slumped, disappointed with herself.

"Lauren, I'm..." Bo was going to say she was sorry but she really wasn't that bothered about the whole notion of stealing from the Light fae so she just said, "There weren't any guards and the doors were open when I got there, okay? And I know that still doesn't give me a right to just barge in and take whatever I want but I... we needed Vex."

Lauren sighed but she didn't look so distressed now and Bo allowed herself to relax a little. The doctor was muttering a little to herself and Bo only caught the part about "talking to Serena about the guard".

"Anyway, it turns out that getting Vex was more complicated than that. He had some redcaps gunning for his blood,"

"Your wound earlier," Lauren murmured but not really interrupting.

"Yeah and then they kidnapped him from my house in exchange for the thing I stole for the Morrigan. So I had to get it back from her, trade it to the redcaps for Vex **again** and then things really got out of hand. Did you know the Morrigan has the power to melt people?! Like literally turn them into yucky pools of goo?" Bo asked wide eyed, fascinated and yet at the same time, unable to keep from shivering in disgust.

"Of course, Bo. She's Leanan sidhe." Lauren looked surprised at her. "You didn't think she got to be the Morrigan when her only talent was to boost other people's talents, did you?"

Bo's grimace was answer enough. "I just, I guess I never really thought about it. You know, once I think I'm finally getting the hang of the fae world, something even more weird or gross would come up, and then it feels like a clueless 'noob' again, as Kenzi would say."

"You're doing just fine, Bo. You've already learned so much and your progress with the fae has actually been faster than expected considering you've only just stumbled into this world two years ago. I mean, look at you now: the champion."

Bo grimaced again but before she could comment on that, Lauren was speaking again. "How were you able to escape the Morrigan anyway? I assume that once she started killing people, she didn't just stop to let you go. Especially if you stole from her in the first place. Which by the way, you also have to tell me how you accomplished that."

Now Bo looked really reluctant but Lauren was starting to become suspicious.

Still, the succubus continued with the story so Lauren held her other questions in.

"Uh, Vex helped me. He used her powers to knock her out and we escaped." Bo scowled when she suddenly remembered the whole reason behind the afternoon adventure. "It was so stupid, Lauren! She had me steal fae aphrodisiac from the Ash's vault, and don't even get me started on why he had that thing in his vault in the first place; we're on the brink of war and they're... they're so selfish! Thinking only of their pleasures! They didn't even think about defending themselves or trying to fight back, the Dark just accepted that the end of the world is coming soon and it was time to party harder!"

Lauren was silent, allowing Bo to vent her frustrations.

Bo sighed heavily and this time she was more calm when she spoke again. "Vex was different, at least. He didn't want to die and that's why he's willing to help us." Bo fidgeted in her seat, restless now after her outburst.

Lauren only took her hand and rubbed it soothingly. "Lachlan had approached the Morrigan for an alliance before, against the Garuda."

Bo looked up in surprise.

Lauren continued, "They were never able to build anything, though. It was too hard, I guess. They were both looking out for their own group and well, without compromise..."

"But the Garuda is here!" Bo insisted, getting a bit worked up again. "They have a common enemy now, why can't they just let go of their differences to, I don't know, survive?"

Lauren didn't react to her sarcasm and only kept her calm manner. "Bo, the Light and Dark have never been able to play nice in a thousand years. The mere fact that they could somehow keep the peace between themselves now is a miracle and only because of an astounding power that practically changed the universe's laws. Why do you think the Garuda is so adamant on making them go back to war?" Lauren sighed. "In some ways, this whole truce between the Light and Dark is the unnatural event and the Garuda is in the right of it. Trick's manipulation of the events was just that, a manipulation. It wasn't meant to be even though it did bring a lot of good."

Lauren took Bo's other hand and began to rub them both comfortingly. "What I'm trying to say is that, despite the threat of the Garuda, I never really expected the Light and Dark to join forces anyway. Not even Lachlan was hopeful and he had known better than anyone what kind of threat the Garuda is.

"And besides," here Lauren hesitated, prompting Bo to ask, "Lauren?"

"I mean, there's something ominous in the atmosphere, with the outbreak of violence and the general malaise, and that's why most of the fae are leaving town. But it's all sort of intangible, there's no real solid enemy to focus on, just the whispers of Garuda - a fae fairy tale monster. I think that makes it harder to rally people together. If there was an outright attack, perhaps things would be different."

"Lachlan was attacked in his office! What more kind of attack do these people need?" Bo asked in outrage.

"No, not like that. No one saw it happened and it was almost... not violent. There wasn't even any blood, the heat from the sword cauterized the wound immediately. I'm sorry, I'm not explaining it well. I just..." Lauren trailed off, looking helplessly at Bo.

Bo sighed and squeezed Lauren's hand gently. "It's okay, Lauren. I think I do know what you're trying to say. I'm just frustrated and scared. Mostly scared."

They both fell silent, trying to absorb the unexpected heavy conversation.

But then Lauren's forehead furrowed as she remembered something, "Oh, by the way, how were you able to steal the aphrodisiac back from the Morrigan?"

Bo's abrupt imitation of a deer facing headlights set of an internal alarm.

"Bo?" Lauren asked warily. "I don't want to hear the answer to this, do I?" she continued, bracing herself. She already had a vague suspicion of what happened, courtesy of her overactive imagination.

At her last question, Bo let out the breath she was holding and sort of slumped before quickly saying, "Iseducedherandthenhandcuffed hertothebedwhensheletdownher guard."

A small silence fell before Lauren blinked. "I think I got that. You seduced her, then handcuffed her when she gave in and that's when you stole the aphrodisiac back."

Bo nodded, cringing slightly even though Lauren hadn't really reacted yet.

Taking a deep breath, Lauren continued, "And you... fed on her?"

Bo nodded again, feeling like curling into a ball. There was a strange look in Lauren's eyes that she couldn't interpret.

"During sex?"

"No!" Bo reacted immediately, grabbing Lauren's arms gently as though to shake her. "No! I didn't have sex with her. I just..." she deflated again and released the doctor. "I kissed her and yeah, I used my powers and fed on her."

"Oh."

Bo blinked and looked up to see Lauren had also slumped back to the couch. She didn't realize how tense the doctor was before.

"Oh?"

Lauren waved a lazy hand and when she answered, her voice seemed to reflect her tiredness even more. "You just kissed. It's okay, Bo. I'm not, well, I'm still a little upset but it's okay. I thought you had sex with her while feeding and I'm really not ready for that yet. I'm already working on it but I guess it'll take some time before I feel uh, before I stop feeling hurt about it..."

Bo hurriedly interrupted Lauren's rambling. "Wait, what? You're okay with me kissing her and ... you're working on being okay with me having sex with other people?" she sounded angry and hurt but Lauren only smiled at her. It was a calm smile, tinged with sadness and love and acceptance.

"Yes," she answered simply.

But Bo couldn't just leave it like that. "What the hell, Lauren?!"

Before Bo could storm out or complain, Lauren stopped her with a gentle touch and said, "I knew from the beginning what you are, Bo."

Bo flinched at that although it was clear that Lauren didn't mean it as a condemnation.

Lauren continued. "I knew and I accepted it. I admit that your being fae and a succubus was a large part of my worries regarding my feelings for you but now that we're together, I can't let myself worry about it anymore. I want to believe that our love would be enough and that we could still be together. I'm not going to demand that you starve yourself to death just because we're in a relationship now..."

"I'd do it," Bo interjected, staring deep into her eyes so Lauren could see her sincerity, "I don't care if I starve and grow weak, I'd do it. I don't want to hurt you, Lauren. I love you so much."

Lauren smiled and kissed her gently. "I know," she said and for a second, Lauren almost lost her hard-earned calm and broke down sobbing. Because as much as she tried to pretend that it wasn't a big deal, this topic really hurt her. The thought of Bo being with other people was like a constant stabbing knife wound messing up her organs. But she wanted them to have a real chance; she wanted to believe in what she was saying that love was enough. To do that, she had to be realistic as well - after all, how was she supposed to have a relationship with the succubus if Bo was dead from starvation?

"I love you too," Lauren continued and cupped Bo's cheek, "I love every bit of you and that means your hunger and your powers too. I don't want you to change anything." Lauren sighed. "It's going to be hard, I know that," and she couldn't help but looked pained.

Bo wasn't able to resist and gathered her into a hug. "Lauren."

"It's going to be hard," Lauren persisted, "but I can do it. I know I got jealous and hurt whenever you were with Dyson, but honestly, I think it's mainly because its him. Parts of me, the scientist part, you might say, understands perfectly why you have to be with other people. I figure, I'm probably half way to acceptance because of that. And I know I can work on this. I can accept it because I know how you feel about me and I trust that. I trust you. I want to make this work. I can be strong for us." Bo opened her mouth to comment but Lauren's next statement baffled her. "because I understand it."

"What?" Bo asked instead, pulling away.

"I understand the biology of it but I also understand how it feels as well."

Bo's confused look prompted Lauren to continue, "I know what it's like to sleep with people you don't care for just because they make you feel something. It's not the exact same thing but the concept is near enough so... I can do this, Bo. I can let you go with other people as long as I know you love me."

"You understand? How? I thought... Nadia..." Bo stuttered, more confused than before but feeling slightly angry now.

Lauren ducked her head in silence and it didn't take long before Bo connected the dots. "You slept with someone else while Nadia was in a coma? Not just with me." The succubus voice was flat and it was more terrifying than if it had been accusing instead.

"I did."

"You cheated."

Lauren sighed, beginning to get frustrated and feeling the beginnings of a headache. A part of her felt that Bo was being hypocritical. After all, she slept with her too. But maybe it was the knowledge that Bo wasn't the only one, the special person that convinced Lauren to "cheat", that the succubus found hard to accept.

"In body, yes. It's probably crass of me to compare it like this but I just wanted you to know that I understand what it's like to divorce the needs of the body from the needs of the heart!"

But she could see that Bo wasn't really listening now. "I didn't... not in a million years would I ever think you were capable of this, Lauren." Her voice shook with betrayal and hurt.

Lauren snapped, breaking the tenuous hold over her own raging feelings. "Capable of what? Don't look at me like that, Bo! I loved Nadia!"

Bo lost control as well. "I know, Lauren. I know how much you loved her! You practically sacrificed your life for her, do you think I could forget that?!" They were both standing now, separated by a couple of feet that suddenly seemed wider than a mile.

"But you don't know what it was like for me either!" Lauren yelled back, "You don't know how hard it was back then, how agonizing it was to see her look like that under that fucking pod everyday and not be able to do anything about it!"

Bo looked shocked at Lauren's cursing but she didn't interrupt.

"You can't know how hard it was to be the odd human in a fae world! I was dying a little bit everyday and I just wanted..." Lauren faltered, her voice cracking at the remembered anguish. "I wanted to feel again, even if it was temporary. So yes, I slept with other people and I didn't love them nor cared for them. I used them to fill the gaping hole in me." Lauren sighed and closed her eyes, her hand coming up to rub her forehead and then the bridge of her nose. "I just wanted you to know..."

Lauren looked defeated and the tired bags under her eyes became more prominent. The silence between them was still heavy and awkward until,

"I'm sorry," Bo said softly. "I'm really sorry, Lauren. I didn't mean to... I was just shocked and upset. Not, not so much about your past, I think. But I'm upset with me. I hate the thought of being with anyone else but you. I hate the thought of hurting you like that and mostly, I think I hate myself for not being strong enough like you." Bo held out a trembling hand to the doctor, "Lauren?"

Bo breathed deeply when her hand was taken and she gently tugged the other woman closer into a full body hug. They both sighed in relief as Bo murmured apologies into Lauren's ear. When they pulled back a little, Lauren looked more relaxed and Bo looked determined.

"We'll both work on it," Bo vowed, "I, it's gonna be hard for me too but if you can be strong and trust me then, I'll trust you too. I love you, Lauren and I'm not giving up on us."

Lauren almost sagged in her arms as the final tension in her body dissolved. It was upsetting to talk of her past with the fae but it was also cathartic and she allowed herself to release a few tears that were quickly absorbed by Bo's jacket. Now that she knew that Bo was willing to compromise and do everything to make their relationship work, she could finally relax and begin to let go of her fears.

In a way, this felt like the real beginning of their relationship.

"I love you too, Bo. So much."

They stayed that way for a while, hugging and swaying slightly before Lauren pulled away.

"Will you stay tonight? Just sleep. I'm really tired and..."

"Yes," Bo interrupted, smiling now. "I'd stay forever even if it meant just sleeping with you, as long as I know you're beside me when I wake up," she added in a soft whisper.

Lauren still heard and she smiled too. "Deal."

* * *

><p>AN2 (Aug 14, 2012): Whew. Finally this chapter is out. I didn't realize it would take this long. Lots of hard topics for Bo and Lauren here. I didn't really plan this to happen in this particular chapter but it all flowed out so...

Anyway, writing this made me realize that the Into the Dark episode is kinda weird. First, everything seemed to happen in one day because Bo didn't change outfits. Except for when she seduced the Morrigan, which by the way, why was she already in her night gown? My best theory is that she was already going to try the barnacle goose aphrodisiac and Bo waylaid her playmate on the way. Second, Bo came to Lauren for aspirin but Lauren gave her a band aid instead. And why head to Lauren if the wound is insignificant? Why didn't Bo have an aspirin at home? And lastly, listening to their conversation, the whole Lich thing seemed oddly placed. Why bring it up?

Argh. So those are my frustrations writing this chapter. The rest were fine and I loved Doccubus even though they kept making me write out scenes and dialogues making it harder to get this thing ready for .

I did love the way I was able to change the near-miss Doccubus scenes and make them "properly Doccubus-ed" (It's 2:30am, I'm tired and probably not making sense so please forgive that made up verb.) - the kiss, the ending etc. Hee hee.

Next chapter is probably gonna be the last.

Cheers,

rabastan04

A/N3 (Aug 25, 2012): Finally got the guts to look at this again. All in all, I think I did well for such a rush job. (Tootin my own horn, I know. I'm sorry.) Anyway, just wanted to say that I added a small line at the part where Bo accused Lauren of cheating. It felt wrong when I re-read it and now I "fixed" it. :) Hope it didn't confuse anyone.


	36. All's well that ends well

A/N: Okay, here it is. Final chapter. It took a month to come out and for that I'm sorry (my only excuse is real life issues) but I hope you're appeased by it's length, at least. With 11,000 words, this is almost 3 chapters worth. :D

Not very well edited so please be patient with my mistakes.

And also, (I'm gonna be doing this at the end part too but I figure I can do it twice) thank you to everyone who reviewed and followed and favorited this story. You're all amazing and you humble me. :)

* * *

><p>49<p>

The next morning, Bo woke up first. She stood up silently and began to gather her things but Lauren stirred awake from the loss of her body heat.

"Bo?" Lauren asked, bleary-eyed still.

Bo gave her a tender look and suppressed an amused snort at the outrageous bed hair that Lauren unknowingly sported. They had just managed to stumble into bed last night and Lauren had practically passed out once she was snuggled in with Bo. It would have worried Bo again, how tired Lauren was all the time, if she hadn't followed suit a few seconds later.

Right now, she hated the thought of leaving the doctor but she didn't want Kenzi to wake up alone with Vex in the house. The sheer damage those two could do to each other and their surroundings when left unattended was a bit scary to imagine. (Especially since Kenzi came home yesterday with a chainsaw.)

"Hey, go back to sleep. I'm going home but I'll call you later. I don't want to leave Kenzi and Vex alone together," Bo explained, dropping a quick kiss on Lauren's forehead.

But Lauren was already moving to get up despite Bo's continued protests. "Just, wait a sec, okay? I have to... just wait," Lauren said, hurrying to the bathroom.

She came out 3 minutes later, looking refreshed and pouting. "Why did you say something about my hair?"

At that, Bo couldn't help but laugh out loud. She also kissed Lauren's pout away until they were both breathless again. "I love you so much."

Lauren playfully pushed her away and grinned, turning to leave the room. "Love you too," she tossed back.

Bo followed her to the living room, still grinning. She watched Lauren putter around her lab equipment for a few seconds before asking, "What's up?"

Lauren raised her pointer finger in a gesture to wait while she checked her computer, fiddled with a machine and finally took a vial and presented it to her.

"I wanted to give you this now."

Bo looked at the vial and then at Lauren, taking it carefully and examining it as best she could. "This is..."

"Lachlan's venom," Lauren finished. "What I was able to salvage."

It was so tiny and Bo grew concerned. "How many doses is this?"

"One," Lauren said regretfully. "The other samples were too degraded."

Bo gave a disappointed sigh. "Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket." Then she saw Lauren's blank face and quickly backtracked. "Sorry. You're the only person to even get this in a thousand years."

Lauren shrugged a little. "We can still use the other venom samples to coat your weapons. I was able to stabilize them and we have enough for that, at least. It's just the question of the potency. That one vial is almost pure." Lauren took another from the table and Bo saw that it looked more yellowish. " The rest would still have a nasty kick but I don't trust it to kill a Garuda. And anyway, the naga venom is formidable so even a diluted version should be painful and debilitating."

"That would be help a lot, actually. Thanks, Lauren."

"Anytime, Bo." Lauren smiled.

Bo pocketed the vial carefully and turned back to give Lauren another kiss, this time more gentle and slow, lingering for a moment.

"I'll see you later?"

Lauren nodded. "See you later."

A couple more last kisses and Bo was gone.

xxx

Lauren woke up to the sound of knocking on her door.

She actually went back to sleep after Bo left, feeling decadent with the decision. There was still a war going on and a final battle to be fought but there was Lauren, lounging around in her bed. (Well, not so much lounging, but passing out again.) She had been working so hard lately that she actually felt guilty for getting more than five hours of sleep.

Bo looked anxious when she opened the door but the expression quickly turned to surprise and concern when she saw her.

"Lauren, were you sleeping? I'm sorry to interrupt."

Lauren blinked at her and then shook her head, running a hand consciously through her hair. "No, no. I just... um, what's wrong?" She stepped aside to let Bo in.

"The Garuda took Trick."

Lauren was literally knocked back by the force of those words. It took her a couple of seconds before she gathered her composure and reach out for Bo. "Oh Bo..."

Bo accepted Lauren's sympathetic hand squeeze but soon let go. "Trick called me in earlier and suddenly there was this shadow thing that took him, teleported him out of the Dal," Bo paced around Lauren's living room, agitated. "I have Kenzi working on deciphering Trick's codes to find what he knew about the Garuda's lair and Dyson, Hale and Vex are pretty much on standby." She turned to look at Lauren. "We can't wait anymore. We have to get Trick back and defeat the Garuda now."

Lauren only nodded. Trick wasn't just a good friend in danger: he was also the Blood King in the hands and influence of the Garuda. This was almost the worst case scenario for them and there was no more time to waste.

She stopped Bo from her pacing and willed her to look her in the eye. "Bo, I want you to promise me one thing." Bo looked at her solemnly and Lauren continued, "You have to be careful. I know you have to kick the Garuda's ass and make him suffer but I don't want you to be reckless about it."

Bo frowned a little. "He has my grandfather. And the things he could make the Blood King do," Bo looked both irritated and worried. "Do you know how powerful Trick is?

It was a clearly rhetorical but Lauren answered anyway. "Almost as powerful as you," she stated simply, rendering the succubus silent.

Lauren knew that it was essential for Bo to be confident now and that it would do no good for her to doubt herself at this point. She could help feed that confidence and make Bo believe as Lauren already believed. "You have faith in yourself," Lauren continued, "in your heart."

"It's not my heart I'm worried about," Bo denied. Lauren wanted to argue against that, knowing that Bo led with her heart; that she had so much _empathy_ for others and that was why she couldn't even choose a side.

"I love you so much," Bo continued, unaware of Lauren's inner worries. "And I love the others too. You're my family."

"Then be what we need," Lauren urged, shaking off her thoughts to concentrate on giving Bo what she needed to hear. "A leader."

xxx

After that charged conversation, Bo finally revealed to Lauren her plan to use her blood to bind them all to her and therefore create a unit that would be able to resist the Garuda.

The whole concept immediately intrigued Lauren. She went to her desk and took her iPad and began to type quickly.

"How does that work exactly?" she asked, her mind already formulating various theories.

Bo frowned a little. "I'm not sure about the actual mechanics but I know that once I get my blood on you, you'll... uh, well, you'll love me."

Lauren found Bo's sudden shyness adorable and couldn't resist teasing her a bit. "Well, how would I know if it works if I already do?"

Bo seemed lost at that and began to stutter until she caught Lauren's grin. "Lauren!" she yelled, unable to help but smile too.

"Okay, okay. So, um, what else can you tell me about this bond thing? Aside from the falling in love?"

Bo still looked uncertain so Lauren elaborated. "For example, how long before it takes effect? Is it dependent on the amount of blood that enters the recipient's bloodstream? How about you? How would it affect you?"

When Bo began to look overwhelmed, Lauren reined in her enthusiasm to allow the succubus to answer her questions.

"Uh, well. Ryan only got a bit in his bloodstream and he was all adoring the next day so probably we need more for it to take effect immediately. As for effects, I don't think I was affected per se. I did have amnesia at the time but Trick did manage to warn me before he was kidnapped."

Lauren looked up from her typed notes. "Trick knew about it?"

"It was Aefa. I told you about us having the same powers right? That was how she could create her muscle men thralls and Trick knew about it."

Lauren pondered on that for a while. She had assumed that ordinary succubus had that power but maybe it worked differently? This was the problem with fae genetics. It was really difficult to make a generalization on any kind of genus because every fae was unique. Even if one was born a certain species and exhibited said species' characteristics, one could be sure that there would be secondary characteristics inherited from their parents and/or grandparents. Sometimes, the secondary characteristics become as dominant as the primary ones, making it difficult to truly classify a fae. (For example, a siren with telepathy or vampire with pheromone control.)

Lauren guiltily shook herself out of the old and familiar frustration regarding fae classifications, only to notice that Bo too, had gotten distracted.

"Bo?"

Bo blinked at her and blushed a little. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking of how Trick knew about Aefa and I could just imagine his reaction when his little girl brought home her first muscle man thrall."

An image of a young girl dragging a hot, beefed up guy and saying, "Look who followed me home, daddy? Can I keep him?" popped into Lauren's head and she almost choked at the snort that bubbled up.

Bo noticed her stifled giggling and when their eyes met, both couldn't stop the peals of laughter from escaping.

It took a couple of minutes before they could get a hold of themselves.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry," Lauren panted, short of breath from laughing so hard, "It's so inappropriate but I just... Trick..."

"It's...it's okay," Bo giggled, "I totally understand."

Finally, they were able to get back to their serious mode.

"You were saying something about Aefa?" Lauren prompted.

"What? Oh, yeah. The thralls. Trick warned me that making thralls would be... addictive, I guess. It's a dark power and if I'm not careful I could become corrupted, like my mother."

Lauren's heart spiked with panic. "Bo...!"

"It's okay, Lauren," Bo swiftly assured, "He gave me this." At that, she revealed the small vial hidden on the cane sword.

"What is it?" Lauren asked curiously.

"It's from my grandmother. My namesake, Ysabeau. She was Trick's wife and he told me that I got my healing powers from her. This is basically part of her essence and it would be able to cure almost anything."

Lauren relaxed at that. "That's good. Then everything is fine. As long as you have that, you'll be fine."

"Yeah." Bo smiled at her.

Lauren smiled back and reached for her again. This time Bo, stayed put and even tugged her closer. Lauren allowed herself to be dragged nearer and gave Bo a gentle hug, before releasing her again to pick up her iPad. "So, uh, I guess all that's left is to draw some of your blood?"

"Hmm. Actually, I still have to tell the guys about the plan."

Lauren winced a little. "Oh boy. I'm betting Vex wouldn't be happy about this."

Bo made a face as well before taking on a determined look. "I don't care. Even if he doesn't like it, I'll make him take some. We can't afford to argue about this now."

Lauren sighed and went over to her lab table. "You're going back to the Dal after?" She began to prepare a couple of vials and injections.

Bo sighed too and began to walk over to her. "I have to. I have to tell them now and see how Kenzi's doing. Lauren..."

Lauren gave her a small smile. "It's okay, Bo. I'm gonna stay here for now and you can call me whenever you want to get started."

"Um, I think the earlier we can move is tomorrow. Last time I saw, Kenzi was just beginning to decipher Trick's code and talking about downward dogs or something."

Lauren looked confused at that but decided to let it go. "By the way, Serena's still here and if you need more backup, I'm sure she'd gladly send a few guards with us tomorrow."

Bo was glaring at the needle in her hand but looked up in surprise. "Us?"

Lauren turned to look at her and furrowed her brow. "Yeah...?" And then it occurred to her what Bo was trying to imply and she frowned. "I'm coming too, Bo."

Now Bo was glaring at her. "No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"Lauren!" Bo looked angry now.

"Bo!" Lauren mimicked mockingly.

Bo stepped closer, her posture intimidating. "You're not coming and that's final."

Lauren opened her mouth to answer but shut it quickly, thinking that she couldn't keep arguing with Bo like this. She knew that the succubus was stubborn and she needed to use unassailable logic to break down Bo's bullheaded one.

"You're charging into an unknown situation, Bo. I know it would be dangerous but I also believe that you can all handle it. However, when I say all of you, I meant all of you fae," she paused to raise an eyebrow, knowing from Bo's tightened jaw that she got her point. "I assumed you would bring Kenzi with you and she's not a warrior. She's small and fast and tricky, yes, but in this case all those attributes wouldn't help her. It's not like you're ambushing the Garuda, you're practically going through the front door and right onto his trap."

"Lauren..." Bo started.

Lauren didn't let her speak. "I can help, Bo. You know I could. You need me."

When Bo still looked unconvinced, Lauren revealed her last hand, feeling a bit guilty about using this particular tactic.

"We don't know what Trick's state is when we get him from the Garuda. It's better if I'm there on site so I can administer any medical aid immediately," she stated baldly and watched Bo's face pale.

There was silence first, as Bo struggled to accept her words and then, "Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Damn it, Lauren!"

Lauren stood firm, ignoring Bo's words. She knew that the succubus wasn't really angry at her but with the situation.

Finally Bo sighed and looked resigned. "Okay. You can come."

Lauren didn't even bother telling the succubus that she didn't really need her permission, and only smiled a little before turning serious again. "I'll be careful, Bo. I don't think I need a weapon but I'll bring a small one, just in case. Maybe a knife since it's a bit like a scalpel and I'm used to that." Bo still looked down and wouldn't meet her eyes, so Lauren took her hand and urged her to look at her. "I promise you that I won't try to be a hero, Bo."

At that, Bo looked surprised.

"I'm not gonna rush in to save the day, if that's what you're worried about. Run and hide until the danger's passed. That would be my main tactic. Guerilla healing," Lauren joked a little as she explained. It worked to bring a small smile in Bo's face and they finally relaxed.

Bo gathered her in her arms and hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear, "I can't lose you, Lauren."

"You won't. I promise."

xxx

The next day, Lauren couldn't help but feel anxious as soon as she woke up. When she got to the Dal, there wasn't even a hint of comfort as everyone was also clearly tense. Even Bo's presence couldn't calm Lauren's nerves and she actually found herself shying away from the succubus for now, feeling like she was standing next to a live wire whenever in the other woman's vicinity.

Vex's dark glares over in her direction (and the vials of Bo's blood she was setting up) didn't help her either and it was only after she had begun the procedure that she was able to relax a little. The familiar, scientific procedures calmed her down like no other.

First up was Hale, who put up no protest. He asked about the effects and side effects but Lauren could see that he was less interested in the answer and more focused on making conversation to fill the silence.

After him was Dyson, who also didn't protest but strangely enough, looked distracted. It prompted Lauren to talk, giving him the same explanation she gave Hale earlier.

"You'll start to develop feelings for Bo. You'll want to protect her at all costs. Is that gonna be a problem for you?" Lauren paused to look at Dyson but the wolf was staring at the ground. "Dyson?" she asked concernedly.

"No. I'm good," Dyson finally said, raising up his head to give her a small smile.

Lauren expertly injected the blood through his arm vein and taped up the puncture wound. "Welcome to Team Bo," she said, trying not to sound too ironic but couldn't resist adding, "...again."

Lauren knew that Dyson suffered from the loss of his love. She knew that it wasn't likely that he would ever get them back from the Norn but she knew that part of her would forever see him as a threat to her relationship with Bo. It was this part that prompted the tongue-in-cheek reply but fortunately, Dyson didn't react and merely stood up to make way for Vex.

Being near the Dark fae caused the earlier feelings of anxiety to rise up once again and Lauren struggled to maintain her professionalism. It wasn't like she was afraid of Vex exactly, but she was very much aware of what he was capable of. (Once, a body had made its way into her lab, identified as a fae kill. The human was a tall male who must've looked intimidating when he was still alive, what with a scarred blocky face, numerous tattoos and large musculature. But in death, his body was mutilated and she knew that every wound was self-inflicted. Later on, Vex claimed the kill and the Dark apologized for "littering" in the Light's backyard.)

Bo came over then to check on them and somehow, Lauren managed to clumsily knock off a tray of used injections and empty vials to the floor with a loud bang. Lauren barely registered Vex's loud mocking reprove as she confusedly tried to straightened out her equipment. By the time she was done, the Mesmer had apparently injected himself with the blood and was already walking away.

Lauren exchanged a confused look with a worried looking Bo but didn't say anything.

After that incident, Kenzi went next, leaving Lauren for last.

She had actually almost tried out the blood as soon as she got the samples from Bo - she was that excited to experience and study the effects - but she was stopped by the practical, scientist part of her. While they had a good idea of what would happen under the blood's influence, they couldn't be one hundred percent sure of its effects, especially since they were doing it as a group. Lauren needed a clear mind until the last minute, just in case something went wrong.

And when she finally did, Lauren held her breath in anticipation and felt nothing. A bit disappointed, Lauren chided herself for being too impatient. The blood would take some time to work and even if it did, she already loved Bo and wanted to protect her so she shouldn't expect that much of a change.

She glanced curiously at the others and apart from Hale sneaking glances at Bo, no one was running around screaming their love for the succubus either. (Vex was actually still muttering abuse in his corner.)

It was only later, in the middle of the debrief while they were gathered around the table and the map of the asylum, that Lauren felt it. It started as a tingling in her hands and climbed quickly through her body until she actually had to stifle a gasp as she felt her heart seemingly expand to twice its size.

Later, when she could think more rationally, she would realize that there was no real change in what she already felt for Bo. The blood just managed to magnify that feeling to a surprising degree, catching her off guard by the sheer intensity of it.

It felt like getting plugged in to a live socket and flying and bursting and drowning and every other adjective she could think to associate with getting overwhelmed.

Thankfully, just as Lauren was sure that she was about to embarrass herself, the blood seemed to have kicked in on Hale as well and his loud "Bo's the best!" yell, made her smirk and allowed her to take back some control. She glanced curiously at the others but the rest of them didn't seem too affected, and Val only just got the injection. It gave her an idea that maybe the blood also worked with the person's original feelings and did not just induce mindless love all the time (unless Bo could now somehow manipulate them - giving her the power to determine the strength of their feelings from mild adoration to blind worship like Aefa clearly did with her thralls). Kenzi loved Bo purely as a sister/bestfriend, Dyson had no love in him and Vex probably lusted after the succubus but definitely did not have tender feelings for her. Unfortunately, this realization made Lauren look at Hale suspiciously for a few moments. Bo caught her look and gave her a confused one in return.

But then there was no more time for idle conversation because everyone begun to rush about as soon as they finished the debrief. Lauren was barely able to grab her packed bag before she found herself herded on to a car, riding in front with Bo, while Kenzi and Vex sat behind. She suspected that part of the speed which they set off wasn't just because of worry for Trick's safety but a desire to "get it over with" already. All the waiting around was just plain damaging to their spirit.

Lauren did manage to ask Bo something before they were under way.

"Bo, are you sure you don't want the Serena and the guards for backup? They might still be useful..."

But Bo was already shaking her head. "The less new people around the Garuda, the less for him to feed on. He'll be weaker. Besides I can't give everyone my blood. It's already pushing it with this much," Bo said firmly.

Lauren looked worried. "How do you feel, anyway? Do you notice any changes yet?"

Bo hesitated and looked at the rear view mirror, catching Kenzi's eyes. The goth girl looked curious too but she didn't say anything, prompting Bo to answer. "No. I mean, I'm okay. As for the changes... I'm not too sure. I think I can feel you guys. Like you're connected to me." She glanced at the mirror again and this time saw Vex, who was uncharacteristically silent and staring out the window. "Are you... do you feel connected to me?"

Kenzi opened her mouth, sighed and tried again, "It feels warm. But maybe it's just the car's A/C isn't working again. Hit it, for me would you, Bo?"

Bo didn't even have to look and just hit the general area of the fans, which started to emit weak, cool air. "Lauren, how about you?"

"Tingly," Lauren immediately answered, provoking a snort from Vex. Nobody even bothered to pay him attention.

At Bo's confused/concerned/curious look, Lauren elaborated. "I don't know about the connected part but I can understand Hale's enthusiasm earlier, I could just control it better," she said.

Bo and Kenzi grinned at the mention of Hale and Kenzi spoke again, "Yeah, I think I feel that way too. I mean, I already love you Bo-Bo and you know I'd die for you even without your icky liquids running inside me... I think all that feeling is just heightened," Kenzi paused and then added, "Or you know, again, it could just be the two cups of coffee with a generous spike of Red Bull before we came here."

Lauren turned around to look at her incredulously. In the background, they could hear Bo muttering that her liquids weren't icky.

Kenzi raised her arms in mock innocence. "What? Don't look at me like that, Doc! We're going to battle, I needed the energy! I always perform better when I'm hyper."

"You're always hyper, Kenz," Bo piped in, her voice taking on a joking tone. "Are you sure you needed the boost? We don't want your tiny heart to burst in the middle of all this." She waved a hand in the air for emphasis.

Kenzi's eyes narrowed. "Tiny? Is that supposed to be a dig at my height, Bo-meister? Because you know, not all of us can have tall, gorgeous amazon figures."

Bo grinned and winked at Lauren, looking for support. "Did I say tiny? I'm sorry. You have the biggest heart that I know of, Kenz. Seriously, I'm so lucky to have you."

"Oh no, is this the bond-thrall working already? Turning you mush? And I thought that was my role," Kenzi playfully complained and caught sight of Lauren, who had unconsciously glanced back as if she could see Kenzi's big heart. "Hey! Doc just totally checked my boobs out!"

"What?!" Bo asked laughingly until she caught sight of Lauren's red face. "Lauren!" she gasped in pretend disapproval.

"We're here!" Vex yelled out, and with an easy flick of his arm, made Bo stop the car abruptly and stumbled out the door. "Thank bloody fuck! If I had known what torture it was to listen to you ladies blabbering on and on, I'd have just gladly let the Garuda skewer me with his flaming sword. Would've been less painful..." His voice drifted away as the Mesmer quickly walked away, putting much distance between him and the car.

Lauren had been startled by the sudden breaking of the car and was unpleasantly thrown forward on her seatbelt. When she recovered, she discovered that Vex had stopped them a full block from the asylum.

"Ow," came a whined complaint from the back as Kenzi nursed her bruised forehead.

"Vex! Dammit!" Bo yelled out ineffectually. She turned around to Lauren and then to Kenzi, "You guys okay?"

"We're fine."

"I'll live."

"Bo?"

The last one came from a looming Dyson just standing off of Bo's door side. "Are you okay? You stopped so abruptly."

Bo opened her mouth and then just shook her head. "Never mind. Let's just go."

xxx

The asylum was as terrifying as they expected. Even Vex, who was loudly commenting on the sorts of torture and pain the place must've witnessed, sounded slightly false. He and Dyson snarked at each other and Bo tried to keep the peace but she was also half-hearted, as if the sound of their voices were more comforting than their silence.

But still, they were on a mission and even if the Garuda already knew they were in the building (there was no way he'd miss their presence), they needed to be silent to evade the undoubtedly lying-in-wait berserkers.

Lauren however, was distracted by Bo's back and found her gaze being compelled to it, making all other senses fade into the background. It was a dangerous move, what with their current circumstances, but Lauren couldn't help herself either. (She had one of Bo's knives stuck in her boot as per their agreement earlier but was otherwise barehanded. Even Kenzi had a crossbow gun in her hands.) She wondered if it was part of the blood's effects on her and for a second was actually irritated by the fact that they were **here** and had to defeat the Garuda, when she would rather **go back** home to her lab and test the blood's effects properly.

As they walked forward, Lauren began to notice that the deeper they got into the building, the more aware she was of a faint sensation of unease. It was different from the group's nervous tension because this feeling was almost physical, like wading through mist.

She had to bite her tongue when Bo then decided they should all split up. It seemed to Lauren, a dangerous and unnecessary risk.

And of course, she was proven right because not ten minutes after they had separated, they got their first injury.

First, bersekers finally appeared to attack them but Bo was able to handle two with ease. For the first time, Lauren was able to view Bo like this: a formidable warrior fighting with the unique combination of her powers and the sword that looked like a natural extension of her body. She was struck with awe and wonder that was inappropriate in a battle ground and almost paid for it with her life when another berseker snuck behind them, intent on cutting her down. She only had time to yell out Bo's name and was preparing to duck, when Kenzi happened and the man choked on the arrow that got embedded in his throat.

Bo looked a little more tense after that and shot Lauren a few worried looks every few seconds until she decided to hook a finger on Bo's belt to reassure her of her presence. Lauren clearly saw Kenzi's eyes roll in good natured exasperation at their antics but Bo smiled at her and was able to relax after, which was her goal.

They spent a couple more minutes "investigating" the halls (more like wandering around lost - even with the blueprint of the place, it was still like a maze inside.) until they happened to meet again with Dyson and an injured Vex.

Lauren dropped immediately on the floor to examine the injured mesmer, listening with one ear to Dyson as he explained what happened to them but she quickly became worried when Vex didn't even bothered to voice his pain. She expected him to be a whiny, loud patient who would blame her for his hurts but he just twitched pathetically on the floor when she gingerly assessed the arm injury.

"He has a bad break. In fact, several," Lauren declared, looking up to Bo's concerned gaze. "He could go into shock, I have to stay with him..."

She didn't even manage to finish her sentence before Bo loudly protested, "What? No!"

Lauren spoke quickly, hating the words she was saying but knowing that she couldn't just leave the mesmer alone. "Bo, he can't travel. He needs care. We'll find a place to stay until you get back..."

"No!" Bo interrupted again, more frantic now. "I'm not leaving you!"

Lauren understood what she was going through but they couldn't be selfish now, not when they were already so close. She stood up and faced Bo directly, forcing her voice to remain calm and hoping that Bo would see reason. "Bo! Trick is still in danger, you have to go on." She softened her voice and added, "I'll be alright."

Bo looked pained at that but thankfully, she only took a deep breath and pulled Lauren for a short, intense kiss. It felt horrible to separate from her and Lauren knew that there was a big chance that this would be the last time they could see each other. Still, she exerted every effort not to let that emotion through her mask of confidence and maintained an encouraging face to reassure Bo.

Dyson murmured something and then Bo was walking away, and Lauren had to force herself to look back to Vex. She had a job to do.

xxx

While Lauren was preparing a shot to alleviate Vex's pain, Kenzi fidgeted and eventually wandered away telling her that she was going to "scout" the area. She wanted to stop the girl but Lauren hesitated in shouting to call her back, not wanting to alert any berserkers in the area. She couldn't leave Vex either so she just looked in frustration at the direction that Kenzi went off to.

She was jolted from her thoughts by a small moan from the mesmer and Lauren worked quickly, stabbing him in the thigh with her injection.

"Ow! Bloody hell, warn a fella next time, won't you?" Vex gritted out in pain.

Lauren could resist muttering, "My needles sharp enough now?" But she didn't wait for his reply either, hurrying up to examine the door near them. It was locked and Lauren gave it a few jiggles and even tried to poke the lock with a bent nail she found on the floor but the door won't budge. Slowly becoming frantic, despite her attempts to remain calm, (she was keenly aware that Kenzi hadn't returned yet), Lauren threw a quick glance at the prone Vex and distractedly asked, "How are you doing?"

"Oh peachy! Yeah! Lying down has relieved the pain of my shattered arm... completely!" he answered back sarcastically.

Lauren ignored him then, knowing that since he was back to his insulting, normal self, the pain killers must've worked wonders. He was almost in a shock earlier but now his color was back to a pinkish tinge and he was a bit more aware of his surroundings.

She tried the lock a couple more times before she caught Hale striding towards them in the corner of her eye. Her heart rate climbed drastically when she saw that he was carrying Kenzi in his arms and almost dreaded to check the girl. If she died…

Hale's worried voice broke through her dark thoughts. "Doc! You got to help her!"

Lauren took a quick look at the girl's bloody stomach and gestured to the door she had been trying to open, in frustration. "We need to get them in there! But I can't…I can't…"

She had barely finished talking when Val used her sword to break the lock and threw the door open. Without a word, Hale rushed inside and settled Kenzi on the table while Lauren struggled to assist Vex inside. Val took a quick look to see that they were settled before she went out the door again. This time, Lauren didn't bother worrying about her, knowing that the pombero would be better in taking care of herself.

"Doc…" Hale said again, looking anxiously at Lauren as he clasped Kenzi's hand on his own.

"Calm down, Hale," Lauren began, her voice carefully modulated to show none of her own fears. "You'll have to let go of her for now because I'll need to examine the wound."

Hale moved away reluctantly but didn't go too far, lingering by Lauren's back. "Is she…? There's so much blood."

The goth girl's shirt had been soaked through by now and the blood still kept pooling on the table to drip on the floor. Lauren had already grabbed a couple of heavy bandages to pack the wound but before she used them, Lauren poured a vial of clear liquid into the wound.

For a moment, nothing happened. Hale's confused "What?" in the background was ignored as Lauren waited tensely.

And then the wound smoked and Kenzi gave a pained whimper that soon developed into agonized crying. Hale almost bowled Lauren over in his haste to go to the girl's side.

"What the hell! Lauren! What did you do!" He didn't seem to know what to do with his hands, hovering them over the hurting girl. "What was that!" he turned around to glare at her.

Lauren ignored him again, now pressing the bandages firmly into Kenzi's wound, eliciting more cries.

But Hale's worry wouldn't allow him to stay on the sidelines anymore and he grabbed Lauren, forcefully turning her to face him. "Lauren!"

Lauren shook him off with a glare of her own. "I had to know if she was poisoned Hale! Some of the soldiers that had fought the berserkers had shown signs of blood poison when they came back and if Kenzi had contacted even a small bit of it, she would die because she's human!"

That shut Hale up immediately, his face paling. He took a horrified glance at the injured girl on the table and then back to Lauren with a pleading expression that she was able to interpret.

"She's okay. There's no poison and the blade didn't hit any major organs but I have to stop the bleeding now. Stay there and be quiet."

This time, Hale meekly followed her orders and only held Kenzi's hand, watching as Lauren injected the girl with some medicine that stopped the piteous whimpering. Lauren continued to put heavy pressure on the wound, packing more bandages as the wound continued to bleed heavily.

Val chose that moment to come back and in an anxious voice, announced, "We've got trouble! There's a group of berserkers headed this way!"

Vex's panicked voice, sounded close as he leaned over Lauren's shoulder. "Hello! We've got to get out of here!"

She was close to panic herself as the wound continued to bleed but Lauren struggled to sound reasonable as she argued back, "We can't move her, Vex. She'll bleed to death." She was trying to remember what supplies and medicines she had packed in her bag, trying to figure out what could best help the prone girl.

"We're not leaving her," Hale interjected in a serious voice. He sounded a lot calmer but Lauren could see the faint trembling of his hands and knew that Hale was the most afraid of them right now.

"Or Bo," Val added quickly.

"To hell with Bo!" Vex just as immediately argued, "Her scheme got us into this mess in the first place!"

That provoked a violent reaction in Hale, who swiftly let go of Kenzi's hand to confront the mesmer. "How could you say that, huh?!"

"Easy siren!" Vex growled out.

That finally caught Lauren's attention and she looked up from Kenzi's wound as a thought occurred to her.

"Wait! He's right. If you're truly bound to Bo, that thought wouldn't have crossed your mind!" She looked back at the scowling Vex and saw his eyes dart frantically. "You didn't take the blood did you, Vex?" she confirmed.

Vex didn't bother denying it. "Listen, I didn't mean any harm but..."

Lauren moved quickly and ordered Hale, "Take over and apply pressure." She grabbed one of the extra vials of Bo's blood in her bag and loaded it into an injection ignoring Vex's plaintive, "But it's a bit mad, isn't it?!"

"The binding isn't whole, there's a weak link in the chain," Lauren explained as she strode to where Vex had cornered himself. "Give me your arm."

Vex tried one last time to weasel out. "I'm sorry darling, I'm still not comfortable with that idea." He didn't seem to notice Val raising her sword to threaten him, only glancing nervously at the injection in her hands.

"Well, you better get comfortable because I'm gonna shove this arm so far down your throat, you'll be mesmerizing your own bowel movements," Lauren threatened firmly.

Groaning, "When you put it like that." Vex finally put out his uninjured hand, and Lauren wasted no time in injecting the blood in.

She had barely stepped back when the effects began to hit all of them. For a second, she couldn't breathe and thought she really was drowning this time.

Vex was looking at his arm in wonder and breathed out, "Now, there's power!"

Val and Hale looked equally stunned and Lauren was finally able to shake off the overwhelming rush of power/exhilaration/love/strength to turn back to Kenzi.

The girl seemed to have been influenced by the same rush as her features became naturally relaxed as opposed to the forced one from medication. She glanced back at Vex and wondered if his injury pain was similarly affected. "How are you?" Lauren couldn't resist asking. She herself felt that she could do twenty things at once right now.

"Hmm, liking life, loving that succubus," he drawled out. And then added in his natural, skeptic tone, "But that doesn't solve the problem of the approaching hordes now, does it?"

"Little mama, please. Fight. Fight. Come on, please," Lauren heard Hale whisper to Kenzi.

The girl reacted, her eyes opening a bit and she gasped, "Your voice..."

Another idea hit Lauren then and she turned to Hale. "Wait. Your siren whistle. Can you raise the frequency high enough to cauterize her wound?" The more she thought of the idea, the more it began to make sense. The main problem right now was the blood loss and cauterization to close the wound was the most efficient solution.

But Hale was shaking his head, "I don't think that's a good idea."

Lauren didn't allow it to deter her. "Hale, we have to do something." She glanced at the girl and felt her heart jolt at the thought of losing her. She didn't always get along with Kenzi but she had become part of Lauren's "family" because of her place in Bo's heart. "If we don't, she's going to die." And so are we, was the unsaid part of that statement. Because even if it was stupid, they wouldn't leave the girl to die alone and the berserkers would eventually find them. "You have to try," Lauren insisted.

Hale gave a look at his sister, who nodded back at him and then back to her. Lauren carefully removed the bandages to reveal the gaping wound and Hale whistled.

It seemed to take forever before Hale was panting out, clearly exhausted by the feat, and Kenzi began to breathe easier.

"Kenzi?" Lauren asked quietly.

"What happened?" Kenzi murmured, "Did I get roofied again?"

Lauren fought the urge to snicker at that as the relief spread throughout her. The girl would be alright; Kenzi would live. All of a sudden, a feeling of absolute certainty engulfed Lauren as she began to believe that all of them would get out of this alive and well; that they would defeat the Garuda and return home safe.

Maybe it was Bo's blood working on her system or the sheer relief from managing to save Kenzi but she didn't doubt the thought and let it infuse her spirits.

"No, no," Hale finally managed to speak and he grinned with relief. "You're gonna be just fine."

"You saved my life," Kenzi recognized.

"Listen, I don't want to interrupt this hallmark moment," Vex interrupted, "but uh, we got to get a move on."

"I have to find Bo," Kenzi declared, struggling to stand up.

That brought Lauren down a bit and she immediately tried to stop the girl. "No, no. Kenzi, we have to get you out of here." She wanted to go to Bo too but her duty lied in the care

"It's important," Kenzi insisted, looking more serious than she ever been, even in the face of her own death. "I promised."

Lauren hesitated for a second before she turned to look at Val. "Can you help me?"

And together they all limped out carefully off the room and on to find Bo.

xxx

They found Bo quickly and heard Dyson's bewildered question of "What, what happened? Where's the Garuda?" He was on the ground, struggling to get up and Hale hurriedly assisted him. Lauren only glanced to check that he was not heavily injured but all her attention was focused on Bo and Trick now.

"He's inside of Trick," Bo answered, her hate and fear, easily heard in her trembling voice.

Lauren expelled a heavy breath as dread began to pool in her stomach.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Stab the little bugger!" Vex demanded.

"It won't do any good. It'll just kill Trick the same way it did the others," Lauren quickly interjected, thinking of the other bodies she had been examining for months now and the foreign DNA that they had retained and eventually caught her attention.

The Garuda, speaking through Trick, gave her a benevolent smile but directed his words to Bo. "She's a smart one." His smile grew bigger and the malevolence in the air thickened. "Now if you don't mind, I have some laws to re-write. Of my own free will."

"Oh no, you don't!" Vex yelled, acting quickly. He threw an arm out and Trick's (the Garuda's) smug face instantly turned to indignation as he discovered that he couldn't move his arm. There was a second as everyone also froze in their position, watching the possessed Blood King struggle to break the mesmer's hold on him but Bo broke the tableau when she whirled around to face Lauren.

"The blood tests you ran on those victims, you mentioned they contained different fae DNA..." Bo stated, clearly remembering Lauren's half-asleep ramblings about her research that one night she stayed over at the doctor's place.

"Because they were infected by the Garuda, yes," Lauren caught on, seeing where Bo was going with this thought.

"Well, if the Garuda's DNA is inside of Trick then maybe..." Bo trailed in desperation.

"It might work but it could end up killing them both," Lauren argued, her mind furiously calculating Trick's chances. Despite the many tests she had ran, she still had very little knowledge of how the possession worked in the first place. Was it a fully body merging, meaning that the Garuda somehow was able to mesh his entire physical body on his victim or was it only on the mental side as he dominated their emotions and memories? How much control did he have over his victim and for how long could he continue a possession at one time? What did it mean that he left bits of his DNA behind?

There were too many variables and Lauren couldn't risk the thought of killing Trick accidentally by her mistake. It was almost too much pressure for her to determine at this point.

But on the other hand, she couldn't bear the look on Bo's face either.

The succubus looked halfway defeated already, as if she had given up the thought of being able to kill the Garuda _and_ save her newly-recognized grandfather.

"The Nain Rouge's prophecy, she showed me a vision where I killed Trick," Bo admitted, her voice breaking.

Before Lauren could answer, Vex interrupted in half-frantic, half-irritated tones, "Ladies, I can't hold him off forever!"

Lauren sighed deeply and she must've made a facial expression to signify her decision because Bo's face hardened in reply. Without another word, she took the naga venom from her pocket and strode over to where Trick (the Garuda) was still struggling under Vex's hold. Lauren followed quickly as she began to rifle one hand inside her bag.

"Gift from Lachlan," Bo whispered viciously, stabbing the venom right into Trick's neck. "Leftover naga venom."

The effect was near instantaneous. Trick's skin turned dark and began to crack, his muscles seizing with obvious pain. His breath grew short and he struggled to get up, grasping Bo's arms tightly as he demanded in a croaking voice, "What have you done?" before he finally choked and fell on the floor.

In that moment, a great torrent of fire seemingly erupted out of Trick's body and began to hover in the air, taking the form of the eagle. It thrashed in pain, contorting and twisting around, as the Garuda was unable to return to his physical form. They all watched as it gave a final dying shriek of agony before the flame winked out and the greatest threat to the fae finally died.

Bo dived to Trick's side, kneeling on the dirt as she frantically checked his poisoned body. "Trick? Trick, no! Trick, come back to me please!" Bo begged, as she tried to waken him.

Kenzi had also dropped down beside them and reached out for Trick's pulse. She shook her head in sadness and Lauren saw, out of the corner of her eyes, Bo swaying as if she was suddenly in a swoon. "No..." Bo sobbed out, crying loudly. Behind her, they could hear echoing gasps of devastation from Hale and Dyson.

And then like a switch had been turned on, Bo's eyes flashed blue and she began to mutter to herself, "I should've killed the Garuda sooner," Bo said, her voice turning deeper, "Every single one of his minions...I will seek them out and kill them all, and anyone who tries to stand in my way..."

Kenzi's looked alarmed and she grabbed Bo's arm tightly, speaking carefully. "Bo! You're losing control. Time for your meds."

Bo nodded and produced the clear vial that Trick had given her. Lauren lifted her head just in time to stop Bo from pouring the precious liquid in Trick's mouth. "No, no, Bo!"

"I know what I'm doing, Lauren! Let go of me!" Bo snarled back, trying to jerk her hand away. But she couldn't use her full strength, trying not to spill the precious essence.

"Bo, trust me, please," Lauren pleaded. "Trick will be fine, I promise you." She gingerly showed Bo the item she had been frantically looking for this whole time. It was another injection and contained a yellowish, pus like substance. "Please, Bo."

"What...?" Bo asked, blinking at her.

"Drink your medicine and I'll take care of Trick."

Bo looked reluctant but finally, she pulled her hand holding the clear liquid away from Trick. She didn't make any move to drink it herself and still looked suspicious but Lauren already breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't waste any time in arguing against Bo but instead, plunged the needle to Trick's neck, emptying the yellow substance into the blood king's body.

For a few tense moments, they all waited for some sign that he would be okay. Everyone could hear Bo's whispered praying of "Please, please, please Trick," but as the seconds grew longer, Bo became restless again, glaring at Lauren. "It's not working... I have to..." she tried to bring the clear vial once again to Trick's mouth but at that moment, Trick gave a weak gasp of air and his eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Bo?"

"Trick!"

Gasps of relief followed Bo's cry of joy and everyone grinned in giddy joy at seeing their beloved friend recover.

This time, Lauren hit him with another prepared medicine and it allowed Trick to focus a bit more. "The Garuda?" he asked.

"He's dead," Bo affirmed, smiling at him. And then like another switch was hit, she swayed once again and her still blue eyes flashed again.

"What have you been waiting for? Bo! Drink it!" Trick yelled out in alarm.

"I couldn't lose you," Bo said, still ignoring the vial in her hand.

"But you could lose yourself," Trick turned to Kenzi quickly and ordered, "Unbind her now!"

Kenzi had hopped up to Hale and Lauren saw that she cut the siren's hand and bound it with white cloth.

Bo had stooped up then and Lauren was suddenly reminded of that time with the Lich. It was almost the same words as this seemingly alter-ego of Bo boasted of her power and voiced her plan to be Queen of everything. But then the succubus was interrupted by Dyson who had sneaked closer and somehow gotten her to swallow the clear liquid essence from the vial.

It all neatly coincided with Kenzi's chant of "With harm to none, thy will be done, thou cannot harm them, Bo!"

Bo dropped like a stone, and Lauren suddenly felt disoriented as the binding was removed from all of them and for a quick second she thought, she too would fall down. And even as she struggled with herself, she fought another flashback from their time with the Lich.

She knew that Bo would awaken soon, most likely with no memory of this event, but she couldn't stopped her panicked cries as well when she saw the succubus collapse as if she was dead. She hurried to her side, beating a worried Dyson by a second and Trick struggled to prop himself up, to reassure them, "It's okay. It's a good sign."

Lauren glanced at Bo's unconscious face, then to the still sickly-looking but alive Trick and finally to her companions and finally allowed herself to relax.

They won. They're all safe now.

She glanced back at Bo and ran a tender hand at her hair. They would all be alright.

xxx

With Trick safely ensconced in his bed downstairs and Bo repeatedly assured of his well-being, the group finally allowed itself to relax and celebrate their victory with a few drinks.

Lauren only allowed herself one drink and kept a watchful eye on her other two patients, as she listened to the others' cheerful words.

"All hail the champion," Val quipped teasingly when she saw Bo come up from Trick's apartment.

Bo gave a slightly shy smile and said, "It was a team effort."

"It was a team," Hale came up, grinning, "led by you," he finished, looking both grateful and tired. His clothes were still bloody but it didn't take anything from the atmosphere of merriment at the moment.

Lauren couldn't help but glance at Kenzi and Vex then, who were moving as if they were never injured in the first place. She was almost sure that the binding had somehow allowed them to tap into Bo's ability to heal herself quickly but she didn't know how exactly it happened. She was tired and weary, a combination of the long days and the draining of the battle adrenaline from earlier, but a large part of her was eager to get back in her lab and _really_ study the effects of Bo's blood and the binding.

"Seriously, hasn't the binding worn off?" Bo asked half jokingly, looking more embarrassed.

"Just accept the compliments, Bo-bo," Kenzi grinned from the bar.

"Something I have to say, darling," Vex interjected, walking towards her and Lauren saw Bo's face wrinkle as the mesmer's alcohol laden breath hit her face. Vex casually slung an arm across the succubus' shoulders and said, "I'm very impressed with you. You didn't let me down half as much as I thought you would,"

Bo cut him off immediately. "Well, it turns out you were the right man for the job, Vex," she said, and thankfully, it appeased his ego enough that he let go of her and wandered back to the bar.

Lauren smiled at that small scene and turned back to fixing her bag. In her haste in finding the antidote to the naga venom earlier, she had made a mess of the other supplies she had brought and she thought it would be a good time to check now if certain medicines had spilled and unknowingly combined to create a super bomb in her bag. Well, not really a bomb, more like a toxic cloud of death, Lauren thought, and felt a little amused that she wasn't even really joking. Fae chemicals were that volatile and unpredictable.

She startled to hear Dyson speak to her, suddenly finding that he was standing quite near.

"You know, it's gonna take them a while to select a new Ash. Now might be your best chance," he said cryptically.

Lauren frowned a little. "To do what?"

"Run," Dyson immediately replied. "Be free. I know how much that means to you," he added.

Lauren struggled to swallow with her suddenly dry throat. "Well, I appreciate you looking out for me," she said as calmly as she could. It was a struggle because of the sudden panic that had taken over her. There was something in Dyson's eyes that unnerved her. She knew instinctively that he wasn't being entirely noble with his intention of warning her and she feared that she knew what was causing this behaviour.

But before he could reply, Bo had sneaked closer and was suddenly hugging her from behind. Lauren saw Dyson's eyes flash before he managed to stifle the emotion that gripped him and her dry throat instantly became constricted by a painful lump as her suspicions were proven correct: he was jealous.

Somehow, someway, he had gotten his love back from the Norn.

She wanted to cry and maybe shout at how unfair this all was to happen now, just when they were finally getting some peace but Lauren's brain short circuited when Bo started _nuzzling_ her.

Okay, so it wasn't a real nuzzle but the tip of her nose touched Lauren's neck and the electric sensation caused her to shiver in the succubus' arms.

"Excuse us, Dyson," Bo said, not even looking at the wolf. "I want to talk to Lauren about something."

"Oh, uh, Bo..." Dyson stuttered, frowning in bewildered anger.

"I'll talk to you later," Bo reassured him over her shoulder as she steered Lauren out the back door.

The door had barely closed behind them when Lauren found herself being pushed to the alley's opposite wall gently and kissed very, very thoroughly by an eager Bo.

When they finally ran out of air, and had to separate, Lauren tried to nonchalantly ask, "So what did you want to talk about?"

Bo grinned at her then before laughing loudly, and Lauren knew she looked ridiculous. Her clothes were rumpled from wandering hands, her hair oddly smushed by the wall behind her and her lips were still slightly swollen by that delicious kiss. She laughed at herself before Bo stopped them both with another, quicker kiss.

And then Bo made an effort to become more serious. "I just wanted to thank you, for saving Trick. I... I just..." Bo looked frustrated at her inability to express her gratitude and Lauren stepped in to fill the gap.

"You don't have to thank me, Bo. It was my job to heal all of your hurts, it's why I came in the first place." She took a deep breath and smiled, "But more than that, you are my family too and I couldn't just let Trick die. He's important to me as well."

Bo gave her a slightly teary grin. "You're wonderful, you know that?"

Lauren gave a shy shrug back and Bo continued, "You really are. I don't even...how did you do it? What was that antidote?"

At that, Lauren became a bit more animated. "It's actually naga venom."

"What?!"

"It's actually very neat, Bo! The Naga venom could probably be argued as the deadliest poison ever and there's no known antidote at all. Through some experimenting, I discovered that the venom, once it fully coagulates, will start breaking down again to a form similar to the original venom, except more yellowish in colour. At first I thought it was the same but then it became apparent that it had lost its potency already. But when you add it to a fresh batch - it completely negates the poison, Bo. In short, it's its own cure. It's very elegant, actually. Sometimes, you really have to admire the way fae evolved to be the most efficient..."

"You are the most amazing person ever and I love you so much," Bo interrupted her rambling, smiling widely. "Have I told you that for today yet?"

"No, actually," Lauren said, thinking about it seriously. "Not yet."

"I love you, Lauren," Bo said immediately, losing a bit of her glow at the thought of her negligence. "I want to tell you everyday how much you mean to me so you won't ever forget."

"I... love you too, Bo," Lauren answered back but her unintended hesitance caught Bo's attention.

"Lauren?" Bo stepped closer, taking her hand in hers.

Lauren hated herself a little for this but she still answered honestly. "Dyson has his love back."

From the way Bo's eyes had widened, Lauren knew that she hadn't been privy to that information before. It eased the lingering knot in her heart and she knew she would have been hurt (an irrational reaction, but still a painful one) if Bo had known and kept the knowledge in an effort to "protect" her feelings.

"How did you...?" Bo stuttered, and then blinked, "Are you sure?"

"I really think so," Lauren nervously confirmed, and then because she couldn't help herself and her anxious nerves, she continued to blurt out, "I know that you loved him before and that it wasn't really fair for both of you when the Norn took his love away and Bo, I'm not asking you to stop seeing him or anything," Lauren became more flustered as she heard the words she was saying thoughtlessly, "I'm not saying that you can't see him at all, of course! I don't control you, I don't want to and I just want you to know that I know that..."

She was suddenly cut off by a gentle finger that lightly touched her lips. "Breathe, Lauren," Bo said, looking at her tenderly.

Lauren followed her advice obediently and sucked in a lungful of breath.

"I don't want to lose you," she confessed softly.

Bo's face became solemn but Lauren didn't see because she was trying to stare a hole in the ground, beating herself up for being so insecure. But she had to look up when she heard Bo reply.

"You won't." Bo took her hands and lifted them to her face, kissing her palms gently. "I'm here, Lauren. I won't leave you."

"Bo..." Lauren really didn't know what she wanted to say as a mixture of guilt and relief mingled to twist her insides.

"I'm happy that Dyson got his love back, but I've moved on," Bo continued, "I'm with you now and," Bo cut herself off with a rueful smile and a slight shake of her head, "God, I should be mad at you for thinking that just because Dyson's available again, I'll be unable to resist him. But I just think of your face when you were babbling so cutely and," she gave another amused head shake, "I just want to kiss you again."

This time, Lauren lunged forward to bestow a fervent kiss, not bothering to reply. Bo welcomed her gladly back into her arms and for a moment, they only held each other close, kissing and touching lovingly. They both retained enough control not to do anything further than that and felt content to be with each other. For the first time in a long while, they felt peaceful.

"We'll make this work," Lauren suddenly stated.

Bo looked at her and then smiled. "Yes, we will."

THE END

* * *

><p>Another AN:

That's it folks, the end. No more epilogue. Or sequels. You could see how much I worked so that I don't have to write a sequel, what with Bo not using her grandmother's essence to cure her grandfather. Happy endings for everyone all around (except for Dyson). :D

Anyway, I'm so happy that I was able to finish this fic at all because when I first started it, I didn't think it would span this long. And while I'm also a little sad because I'll miss working on this, I also feel a bit giddy because now I can finally start on working on the other prompts popping in my head. So don't worry, I'll still be here making Doccubus fics. :)

Also, again, I just wanted to thank all of you who took the time to review (I wasn't able to answer all your comments but know that I appreciated every one of them and took them seriously, using your input to help me shape the characters) and those who favorited and followed as well. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

rabastan04


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